


Take My Hand

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Background Relationships, Distorted Thinking, Enemies to Friends, Existential Crisis, First Kiss, Groping, Gun Violence, Ice Cream Dates, Implied Sexual Content, Inaccurate medical stuff, Induced Insanity, Insecurity, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Mass Murder, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Multiple versions of the same character, No Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Not a dark fic, Post-Apocalypse, Romance, Slow Burn, Stalking, Survivor Guilt, Two Person Love Triangle, Vomit, Yuri kisses other people in this, Yuri won't admit it but he considers JJ a friend, a mean potty mouth, a small explosion, almost everyone dies but also almost everyone lives, almost none, because time travel shenanigans, but it means nothing, everyone is aged up, feat. A piss alley, fluff and anger, in the sense that it takes to the last fourth of the fic, just a few passing mentions, light contemplations of suicide throughout the fic, light transhumanism, living for the drama, mentions of chemical warfare, minami referred to as Kenjirou because he is a Feltsman in this, of the investigative kind, one character drinks a lot to cope in the first chapter, one sided enemies to friends to lovers, or at least that's what i set out ot write, platonic and romantic bed sharing, possible ham-fisted writing, somewhat happy ending, sort of angry Yuri, taller yuri, there are two weddings in this, time traveler's dilemma, uploaded as anonymous because anxiety, very very little time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-05-24 06:29:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 114,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14949377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Yuri is a frustrated time traveler. One day, through no meddling of his own, he shifts into a new world along with his teammates. Now he must adapt to the new timeline, knowing that he's failed his only mission in life and that his friends are stranded in time. Not to mention the mysterious man whose eyes won’t leave him, and who might be a criminal that has infiltrated their safe community._______________Fucking Katsudon, hasn’t he ever heard of shit talking someone behind their back? Hard working and quiet don't point to ‘uses arson as a distraction to steal’. It's better that piggy prepares his ass, if he thinks today was bad, he is in for a world of pain tomorrow.If he does nothing, everyone will chalk up the fire to rowdy teenagers and Otabek will get away with everything. They’ll be living with an arsonist and a thief without knowing it. Yuri isn’t going to allow any of it, he’ll get close and pull his mask off when he least expects it.Operation: Get Invited Into Otabek Altin’s Room is a go.





	1. Left Behind

A lone star shines in the sky. Sitting high atop the wall makes no difference. It's as far away as it was before.

“There you are, everyone has been looking for you.”

Yuri doesn't look up when Georgi sits beside him and continues to stare at the star until the grey clouds cover it. He shifts his gaze to the gates and the road past it. It's late, Mom should be here already.

“Your Grandpa thinks you ran away.”

“I'm waiting for Mom, she said she would read me a story.”

“You can't wait for her outside, kid. You could fall asleep here." He digs his finger on his side. "Then a rat could eat you.”

Yuri flinches. “Ew, rats can’t do that.” Can they?

“They can, one almost ate me when I was your age.” He turns, his back faces Yuri. “Come on, get on. I can tell you the bedtime story if you want.”

Yuri stands, careful not to fall off the edge and sits on Georgi’s shoulders with some help. He has no problem climbing down with him on his back.

“Your stories are dumb.” Yuri ignores Georgi's loud gasp. “I want Grandpa to do it.”

The ride home is fun, Georgi is tall and does funny movements along the way. Much more fun than Victor or Yuuri. At the door of his home, Georgi leans forward and does a big show of almost dropping him. Grandpa gets there in time to rescue him. Catches him before he can hit the floor and takes him to bed. Yuri giggles into Grandpa's neck. It almost works to make him forget about Mom.

Grandpa tucks him in the warm, comfortable bed. Yuri doesn't have to remind him to protect his feet from the monsters. His eyes are heavy and trying to close, but he won't let them. Not without seeing Mom, but she still isn't home. It's dangerous outside, everyone says it. They won't even let him out past the gates, so why has Mom? What if something happens to her?

“When is Mom coming home?”

“Your Mom will be running a little late tonight. Do you want me to tell you a story? Or would you prefer one of Georgi’s?”

Yuri wrinkles his nose. “No! His stories are gross, everyone is always cursing princesses and kissing. I don't like them.”

Grandpa laughs and lays in the bed. “Do you want to hear about the boy that saved Grandpa's life?”

"Yes!" That's his favorite story. Even if Mom always fights with Grandpa over it.

“A long time ago, when I was a young man—"

“So long.” Grandpa is very old, older than almost any person. Uncle Yakov and he have been alive since forever. Victor says they rode on flying dinosaurs to school. That's why their hair is white and skin is melting off their faces.

“Shh, you try to sleep.” Yuri closes his mouth and gets closer to Grandpa, where it's warmer and safer. “ Long ago, when I was a young man, a boy appeared to me, he was young and blond, like you are.” Grandpa runs his fingers through Yuri’s hair, making him smile.

“I had finished working on my time machine, ‘I come from the future,’ he said, ‘here to save your life. We have a mission for you, please help us.’”

“What did you die of?”

“Quiet you, that's a story for another time, maybe I'll tell you when you grow up.”

“This boy was out of time and had to leave, so he left us history as he knew it. History of a dying world, far more terrible than the one we live in. Uncle Yakov and I then used that knowledge to build this place and continue our work. One day it will work well enough that we can send someone back in time, to save the world again, like that boy saved us.”

“Can I be a traveler Grandpa?”

“Of course you can, it is our purpose in this life, our reason for existing. The world needs us, and only we can save it.”

Yuri yawns. “Only we can save it.”

Yuri hears the story that night, and the next, and many nights after that. Mom doesn't stop Grandpa anymore. Mom doesn't stop anything, because she is gone.

She doesn't come home. She abandons them.

Sometimes, when they think he isn't there, the others talk about her. The stories come over the years. Rarely, but often enough to be a bother.  They see her here, there. Living with someone, then with someone else, and after a few years, with a new family. A husband she holds hands with and a kid she tells new stories to. A family she loves and won't abandon.

He never confirms it with his own eyes, he neither needs or wants to. Mother never liked living there, never loved any of them. Why should they care what was of her when she didn't do the same for them?

That woman had only given birth to Yuri so they would stop trying to make her travel. It said so in her diary. In such a hurry she was to leave, that she didn't take anything with her. Not that she had anything of value, most of it went to the trash. The rest didn't sell well enough to buy a day's worth of food.

Growing without parents is not rare in this world, so why should Yuri care? Victor has none, Katsuki only has one. That walking annoyance JJ is the only one with a family intact. With a mother, father, and siblings.

It doesn't matter. None of it does. A traveler can't have attachments to a changing world.

 

* * *

 

15 years later

 

Harvesting vegetables for hours in the deadly summer heat is bad enough without having to listen to the "come to grieve with us" speech again. It's not making it any easier on his knees either. How many times does he have to tell them until they listen?

“Yuri, sweetheart.” A few rows in front of him, Aynur stops picking her carrots.“ It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all go through it. It's okay to let it all out."

To his left, Katsuki nods along. “Please, at least consider it. After Phichit’s death, I was devastated, having someone to talk to helped a lot. It would do you good. I know it's difficult to think that other people can know what you are going through, but we’ve lost important people too. It’s a private meeting and nothing that we say there makes it out, I swear.”

“Thanks for the concern, really, but it is not the same.” This is it, he's run out of patience. “I can still see my Grandpa when I go to the past. I haven’t lost him. I’m sorry your boyfriend and son got killed and you can’t ever see them again, but that has nothing to do with me. Leave. Me. Alone. I’m not interested in being a part of your pity party. Now or ever.”

The two of them stop working to look at him. They should have kept shut. Yuri stands and pats the dirt off his legs.

The look on Katsuki and Aynur’s face isn’t one he wants to be on the receiving end of, so he makes his way to the greenhouse door. If they have a problem with him not finishing his chores they can take the pay from his rations.

The door bangs open and in comes, the last person Yuri ever wants to see. To make this shit day shittier, he hugs Yuri and twirls him around in the air twice before dumping him on the floor. At least he has the satisfaction of having dirtied his perfect clothes.

“King JJ has passed his physical exam!” With a voice that loud, he could have said it from out of the city and they still would have heard.

There go his six months of JJ-less freedom. What’s next for this garbage day? Tigers coming back from extinction just to maul him?

Aynur is the first to raise from her spot to congratulate him. As she hugs him, Yuri shares a look with an approaching Katsuki. None of them are looking forward to this.

“I have to admit, I doubted myself for a minute there, with the travel scheduled for tomorrow, but it has finally happened. JJ has passed.” He raises his hands making those stupid J shapes with his fingers. “JJ Style!”

Tiger mauling is preferable to having to share a room with that for the next six months. Rooming with Victor isn't so bad, and he can handle Katsuki, but the four of them together in a room is bound to make his ears bleed sooner or later. A smile creeps on Yuri’s face. It'll be a good excuse to ask Grandpa to help him fill the Past To-do List.

“Speaking of the Leap, I need to go pack. Excuse me.” Yuri exits the greenhouse before anyone can point out that he never bothers to unpack. He grabs a parasol from where they hang outside and hurries to the house, careful not to trip on the uneven ground. Damn stupid heat. It's lucky his Leap months happen during the summer, how can the other traveler group stand it? His skin needs a rest.

The house is cooler, but not by much. Once in his room he peels off his shirt and lays on the bed. When he’s sweating less he’ll change it for another one. Yuri then double checks his bag to make sure nothing is missing. It hasn't been opened since the last Leap back.

It must have been an exciting day, he forgot to get the contraband out. Candy, lots and lots of candy. He'll never hear the end of it if JJ finds out, but he can share them with Katsuki and Aynur next time they have a shift. If they even wanted to talk to him again.

Had he been too rude this time? Grandpa wouldn’t have approved of him talking that way to Aynur, at least. They had been good friends. There aren’t many survivors left, so we have to be kind to one another, he used to say.

He opens a bag of chocolate eggs and shoves a fistful into his mouth. If Yakov finds out he is breaking the diet he will have Yuri's head. Better do it fast and dirty.

Victor enters their room, catching him with his hand deep in the bag and a chocolate stained face. With a judging stare, he extends his hand. It's like making Yuri beg for his silence doesn't even cross his mind.

A candy bag and a half later, Yuri rubs his aching belly. What a terrible, yet delicious idea.

“They were only trying to help you. You shouldn’t have rubbed those deaths on their faces. Beka and Phichit were important people to them, your Grandpa would’ve been ashamed.”

“I know.”

“You have kitchen duty with Aynur tonight?” Yuri nods, Victor eats the last chocolate and walks to his bed, where his bag rests. “Do something then.”

But what? The ideas won't come, so Yuri takes a nap. Sleeping on things always helps with solutions. It's not procrastinating when your mind works on it.  When it's time to go to kitchen duty, Victor wakes him up.

Aynur is checking the food inventory when he walks in. Instead of coming up with a good apology, all his dreams gave him were some stupid dreams of chasing a cat into a lake. After what he did today he deserves an uncomfortable working environment.

There isn't much in the pantry or the fridge. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I keep forgetting Katsuki went crazy and exchanged most our rations for those shitty and unnecessary custom clothes.”

Aynur shakes her head. “You know why, let the boy do it if it helps him sleep at night. The hospital taking half of it isn’t helping us much either. Anything we can use there?”

“Powdered milk, not much left.” Yuri shares a grimace with her. “If it wasn’t for the vegetable garden we’d be starving. I hate living like this.”

“Lucky you can do something about it then.” Aynur smiles at him and Yuri’s stomach drops.

“Aynur…” Yuri chokes on the word. With one look at him, she understands.

Aynur brings him in into a warm, motherly hug. “It’s okay honey, I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” She pats his back and Yuri hugs her tighter. “But please promise to come to at least one meeting when you return. If you don’t like it, we won't insist anymore.”

This is what he gets for being a rude ass. He nods and lets her go. They make some mash potatoes and canned soup. It isn't much. Starting tomorrow he'll be having good meals while everyone here has to make do with this.

Almost all the residents sit at the table during dinner. About half of them JJ’s family. The world is different for them. Usual rules don't apply. Broken families, riots, starvation, none of it affects the Leroy’s. Nothing bad ever happens to them. They live on another plane, outside this horrible reality. It'd be a wonderful story if their shit attitude didn't piss him the fuck out.

The servings for the travelers are still larger. Every time Yuri Leaps back everyone looks thinner. Aynur won't let him eat less, even if he's full. She thinks it's a lie, he's not about to contradict her and give himself and the contraband away. Because he is a coward like that.

Katsuki doesn't show up for dinner. That little fight in the afternoon must have hit him hard. The very least he can do is take the food to him and apologize.

Yuri makes his way to Katsuki’s room, careful to not spill the soup. The floor creaks under his weight, threatening to break away. The closer he is to the room the clearer it becomes that his absence has nothing to do with Yuri’s comments.

The loud screams and sobs chill him to the bone. It's not a good idea to interrupt them, but things could get ugly. Katsuki might be in need of help.

“It’s your fault that he is dead,” Celestino screams. Yuri halts outside the door, paralyzed.

It's been two years, when is he planning to stop this? It's getting ridiculous. It's not easy to lose a son, but blaming Katsuki every week isn't doing any good.

If only Katsuki allowed them to ban him from the house. That he's not allowed to interfere doesn't mean Yuri is going to walk away. This isn't like the usual yells late at night that keep everyone awake. There is something in Celestino's voice…

“It was your fault he was robbed that night. They knew he had a ring, that he was going to propose. He wanted to receive you on one knee with the ring.”

Yuri tries to peek through the small gap between the door and the frame. Something hits the wall and breaks. A shiver goes up Yuri's spine. Not uncommon, but much more shocking to stand outside while it happens.

With a light push, he opens the door enough to see the inside. If Katsuki has one scratch on him, Celestino is getting a bowl of hot soup to the face.

Katsuki looks at him with empty, wide eyes and shakes his head. Celestino is already crying in his arms. Smashed furniture and a lamp litter the floor. With a nod, Yuri leaves the soup outside beside the door, somewhere it won't be on the way but that is visible.

The lights on the hallway flicker a few times before going out. With the small amount of light that makes it in from the windows, he makes it to his room a few minutes later. Right on time for the lights to come back on. The others have arrived.   


 

 

* * *

 

Yuri wakes up covered in sweat, clothes too wet to be comfortable anymore. What a great way to start the day. Getting up early to catch Georgi before the Leap is always a priority, but it's not even dawn yet. No one should be awake at this unholy hour. Or in this unbearable heat. Light tank tops and short shorts every day is getting old fast. The air conditioning must have malfunctioned again after the Leap last night. How fucking annoying.

The past is colder though, so he should dress with that in mind and hope he doesn't die of a heatstroke. With a groan, Yuri kicks off his shorts and gets into a pair of jeans and a shirt. Sweater goes on the waist until it's time. It'll be uncomfortable but at least he won't have to hurry later on.

The walk from his room to the kitchen is pure hell. The fabric of the pants rubs and sticks to his sensitive, sweaty legs.

His shit luck doesn't seem to be carrying over since yesterday. Always the early riser, Georgi is already eating breakfast. Sara and Michele off on another table with Aynur, deep in conversation.  Yuri gives her a quick wave as he makes his way to Georgi’s table. Both Aynur and Sara, return the gesture. Michele turns on his seat to see who they waved at and glares at Yuri, no doubt thinking it was directed at his sister and trying to kill him with his eyes for it. Oh please, no one here likes her that way.

Georgi smiles when he sits in front of him, ready to catch up. The old bench seat bends and creaks. He talks, but Yakov's voice coming from the speakers drowns him out. "Travel group A report to the Time Room. Travel time in ten minutes."

That is sooner than expected.

There is still time, Yuri tries again. “Ho-"

“Oh JJ! I will always love you no matter what!”

Of course,  JJ and Isabella’s loud declarations of eternal love. Couldn't they do it in private? Did they need to make a show of every single event in their relationship? Gross, he should add a barf bag to the travel items. If he is going to be around JJ more he's definitely going to need it.

“I promise my love, I will wait for you until your return.”

Fucking melodramatic couples. They'll be back in six months with no major changes anyway. It’s not like their job has been a success so far. Who could have predicted changing the past was so hard? Just enjoy the freedom from your stupid boyfriend and stop torturing bystanders.

Yuri turns back to Georgi, at least he looks amused. Always the romantic. He might be too if JJ was going to be annoying other people and not him for the next six months.

Victor pokes his forehead. “Aw, Yuri, your jealousy is showing.” He sits down next to him and the bench bends more. "Someday you'll have people to say goodbye to too, and maybe then you’ll be less bitter, yes?" His smile is wide and bright but not happy.

"Yeah." So he isn't the only annoyed one at this table, only the worst at hiding it. “How was the past?” Yuri is quick to ask Georgi before another interruption can strike.

Yakov's calls them through the speakers again. “Group A, your travel is NOW.” The sun isn't out yet. He isn't giving them time to have breakfast anymore.

"I must go save the world now, love." JJ gives one last hug and kiss to Isabella and heads towards the entrance. When he reaches it he turns around, doing his stupid pose. "J.J. style!"

Yuri should take one for the team and strangle him with his own hands. That'll have to wait. Yakov sounds close to losing his patience.

The three of them head outside to the Time Room. Catching up with Georgi will have to wait another six months. This whole traveling thing isn't good for relationships.

The stench of alcohol hits Yuri as soon as he enters the rundown room. It’s a real shame that the most important room in the world could collapse at any moment because they don't have the funds to fix it. Yakov has everything ready for the send-off, so they can't complain the drinking is interfering with his job. Though the slurring does make it impossible to understand what he is saying half the time, they've done this so often over the years it doesn't need an explanation anymore. And he takes advantage of that.

They take their place, side by side at the center of the room, each with their suitcase and duffel bag. One of them is a lot more excited than the rest. Yuri puts his sweater on and sighs, closing his eyes. He's never cared much for the view. All the machinery and old, crusty Yakov in his chair. The whole process is a bit scary too.

The terrifying crackling around his ear signals that the moment approaches. Calm, deep breaths.

A strong discharge of energy hits Yuri, his body rips away before it comes back together again. His senses come and go along with the painful spasms. This time, when he opens his eyes, it's in another place, another time.

The room swirls for a few seconds. His whole body tingles and aches, his muscles sore. Yuri straightens, the blurry shape of a person stands still on the living room they Leap to.

Leaping is not one of those things that get easier with time. If anything, each one sucks his life a little more. On his right, JJ bends over and vomits on his own shoes. Mental note, laugh at him later. It isn't the moment right now, not with the details coming back and Grandpa in the room, waiting for him.

"Grandpa!" Yuri jumps into his young man arms, legs around him like he did as a child. This younger versions back can handle it better than his own time's could. "Take me to the zoo! I want to see the tigers."

He is acting like a brat, but this is the only time they get to be together. Six months is such short time to be with a loved one. Grandpa’s arms are limp at his sides, nowhere near his beloved grandson’s back. Frowning, he puts his feet back on the ground and steps away. Did he hurt his back? Yuri is only a few years younger than Grandpa is now, but he is almost as tall. He’ll have to try and do a better job of controlling himself next time.

"I’d love to, but we still have a lot of work today. We haven't made any significant change yet. I have a protest to go to and some other..."  Grandpa’s voice trails off as he backs out towards the kitchen. "You must be tired from the travel, do you guys want some dinner?" He notices JJ for the first time. “And something to clean that up?”

Dinner? Yuri looks out the window, the faint street light comes through the curtains. There goes the day,  it wasn't a bad thing since the Leap did take a lot out of them and they have a new traveler along.

Victor and Katsuki nod and follow Grandpa, leaving Yuri alone with JJ on the living room. He’ll have to check the calendar to make sure his plans won't interfere with any of their work.

"What's this, Kitten? How cute, if I promise to take you to the zoo will you jump into my arms like that?" JJ laughs, leaving the room with too much confidence for someone that just puked on his shoes and is still pale, sweaty, and gross.

Yuri stays there, teeth and fists clenched. There will only be more of this from now on, he might reach a limit before the time’s up. If you murder someone in a different time, does it still count? He’ll be born in some years again anyway.

Everyone is already in the dining room, under the warm lights. Grandpa, along with Anya and Yakov, set the table. Old man Yakov as a kid is something he’ll never get used to. The decrepit thing back at home only has a small resemblance to the boy, it's so wrong.

He pats the kid's head on his way to hug Anya. Grandpa's arms are full of plates, a new, proper hug is out of the question. They sit in their usual seats on one side of the table while JJ introduces himself. They only know of him because of Yuri’s many rant complaints over the years and finally get to put a face to the name.

Yuri gets to sit next to Grandpa, always, it's an unspoken rule, but JJ ruins it once again by planting his ass on that chair. Now he’s stuck between him and Victor, facing Anya. They get an extra chair for Yakov, being a kid he has to give the chair to the adults.

The food of the past is so delicious. JJ seems to be in heaven, his eyes sparkle when he sees all the variety and amount. There are no rations, so they can pig out to their heart’s content, and they do. They eat everything, down to the last piece of bread, until they have trouble breathing and can’t move properly. It’s a first-day tradition.

Once done with the food, they talk about what has been happening in the past six months. Not much progress has been done, from what they can tell, the future remains the same after all. It doesn't do much to brighten the mood around the table. After making quick plans for the next day, they all head off to their rooms. Yuri stops Grandpa in the dining room after the others leave. The list of things he wants to do together in his hands.

Grandpa shifts his weight from foot to foot, scratching his arm. “Oh, Yuri. I wanted to speak with you too, but I thought it could wait until tomorrow morning.”

“It’ll be quick, I just want to check your calendar so we can fit our activities in.” Yuri waves the list enthusiastically in front of him. “We won’t run out of time again if we organize it all right now.” It’s a great idea, had thought of it before they wouldn't have run out of time on all the other visits.

Grandpa covers his face with his hand and lets out an exasperated half yell. He’s never done this before. He moves his hands, face red and contorted, unlike the man that raised him.

He takes one step back and hits a chair.

“That’s the thing.” He waves his hands around, voice loud without shouting. “I keep trying to hint it but you aren’t getting it. It’s been _years_ and you’re still not getting it. Well, you’re old enough now, I don’t want to spend time with you. There it is. I am not your grandpa. You’re not my grandson, you’re just some kid that appeared here five years ago claiming to be. I have no interest in having any sort of relationship with you beyond trying to save the future. Leave me alone.” He walks out, leaving Yuri alone.

His knees go weak and he has to sit again, lest he crumbles to the floor. The emptiness consumes him and he clenches his fist, scrunching the list. He zips his sweater higher, the nights are cold in the past. Letting his hand relax enough to let go of the paper is harder than it should be. It's crumpled but still readable, Yuri passes it several times on the table’s edge. When it’s as good as it can be, he lays it flat on the table and stares at it. It comes in and out of focus. His vision is blurry, little teardrops fall on it.

A squeeze on the shoulder brings him back to reality, Yuri looks up to see JJ and not an apologetic Grandpa. Stupid fuckhead, did he come to gloat? Not if he has any say in it. Before he can let something stupid out, Yuri stands and goes to his room. The living room is clean.

The room the four of them have to share isn’t small, but the clutter doesn’t leave much free space. Two bunk beds on either side of the room, two large desks, three chairs and papers everywhere. On the desks, on the floor, pasted on the walls, and even on the bathroom so they can work at any time. No time wasting allowed.

Yuri heads to the bunk furthest from the door and climbs to the top, claiming the bed. Katsuki and Victor already settled on their usual beds, that leaves JJ under him. If he so much as tries to poke him through the mattress he’s digging his eyes out. And if he dares mentioned anything of what happened he’ll rip his tongue out and strangle him with it.

On the plus side, his body and mind are so tired his brain turns off for the night as soon as his head hits the pillow. It’s so comfortable. If it gets too cold, putting on another blanket will resolve it fast. No need to worry about waking up sweaty and suffocating in the early hours.

  
  
  


The six months are coming to an end fast, everything they’ve tried is useless. A robot apocalypse would have been easier to deal with. How is some group of people from the future supposed to fix world poverty and other intersecting factors that affect the climate when the world itself doesn’t care to do it? Whoever devised this plan is an idiot. Why couldn’t they get some generic end of the world where all you need is to punch someone hard enough to make a difference? The knowledge they carry from the future isn’t helping with shit. This is a lost cause.

They lack power in the world and, according to their data, they won’t be getting any until Yakov is old enough to take over for his dead father. If only they could get that stubborn, old man on their side. There is only so much they can accomplish with some ‘save the bees’ shirt when nobody cares. Even JJ lost all his excitement, no longer staying late trying to find solutions or to cheer them on. The latter was appreciated, but annoying as fuck.

It isn’t until the last week of their stay that Yuri gets a well-deserved break after five years of dealing with this shit. Fuck coming home after six months with nothing to show for it. If nothing else, he’ll be taking some good memories with him. The list can be completed faster now that he doesn't have a calendar to match.

Nikolai and Yuri run into each other at the door. He half-blocks the way. “Where are you going?” He says, too cheery for someone so useless.

“Out.” Since he won’t move, Yuri has no choice but to nudge him out of the way with his shoulder. Those tigers wait for him.

  
  
  


Being in the zoo alone is better than he imagined. No one to nag him about which animals to see, complete freedom to do as he wants. Except get souvenirs. Aynur and Georgi would appreciate them, but it’s too much risk. So far only clothes and chocolates have made it, and those he can get somewhere else cheaper.

Walking among the crowd is amazing. Cute, happy families walk around holding hands. It’s not something common back home.  Not to mention the deliciousness that is ice cream, why did he wait so long to try it?

At the end of the day, Yuri buys himself a shirt with a tiger and the name of the zoo at the front. The fabric is thin enough that it’ll be good to wear at home. Even the bus ride back is enjoyable. Full of tired people, some resting their heads on the glass, some sleeping, all with no idea of the horrible shit that waits in their future.

Looking at strangers without being wary or scared. Interacting with others without having to wonder what their ulterior motives are. Those are luxuries they don’t know they have. It’s a nice rest from the world they’ve failed to save.

  
  
  


During the last week, Yuri prioritizes completing his list over work. Something the others want to do but don’t dare, so they try to talk to him about it. A strong glare is all it takes to make them shut their trap. And so, everyone ignores it, not like it would make much of a difference anyway.

On the day before the Leap,  Yuri goes to the aquarium. The shark tunnel is his favorite, he sits there, watching them swim above him. It’s beautiful.

And completely ruined by Victor coming out of nowhere to sit next to him. A moment of peaceful solitude is rare among these people.

“What are you doing here?” Yuri doesn’t bother to hide his displeasure.

“JJ saw your list that first day.” Victor looks up when a shark passes by above them. “ Wow. Amazing.”

“Doesn’t answer my question.”

“Everyone worries about you, even Nikolai.” He makes a small pause for Yuri, “He’s so-”

“I don’t care.” Yuri stands abruptly, ready to leave.  

Victor sighs and pulls him back down. “You’re retiring, aren’t you?”

“How do you know?” He hasn’t told anyone yet.

Victor takes his sweet time to answer. "I figured you would want to, the list confirmed it." He takes a deep breath and looks up to the sharks again. It’s a breathtaking sight that they’ll never see again. A once in a lifetime event. Admitting that is the reason they’d never done anything other than work. Now there is nothing to hold them from enjoying it, they’ve made their peace with the facts. "I’ve thought about retiring too, but I didn't want to leave Yuuri alone. Now that JJ is here I don't have to worry about that anymore."

"Any idea what you'll be doing for a living?"

"No."

"Me neither."

  
  
  


The four of them wake up early to pack and leave the room presentable for the other group. They’re supposed to leave a note of their progress but once again, they’ve basically done nothing. They could stay at the house scratching their balls for six months and no one would notice.

If only they could know which changes matter and which are too small to make a difference in the world. The butterfly effect is worth shit. They’d be fools to think they could do something. The bracelet on Yuri’s right wrist starts to send small shocks, warning him the Leap will happen in a few minutes. They make their way to the middle of the living room and say goodbye to their hosts. Anya and Yakov hug them, there is no time for Nikolai.

The shocks get stronger, numbing his arm. The crackling noise drowns all other sounds, he puts a hand to his eyes, covering most of the bright light. The horrible pain hits his chest and expands to his whole body. This is the one part that he won’t be missing.

It stops. The leaps always leave him out of energy and ready to eat brains. The only survivor of his zombie attack will be JJ, there's nothing to eat there.

The smell of alcohol doesn’t help with nausea. Again, JJ bends over and throws up on his shoes.  A good look to see Isabella for the first time in. Yuri will come to welcome them back every six months just to witness it again.

Yakov hasn’t asked them how it went in years, so Yuri grunts in acknowledgment in his direction and walks out. Hungover Yakov is even less fun than drunk Yakov and he doesn’t care to find out which one of them it is. Katsuki stays behind to mother the man older than him, he claims it to be the duty of the leader. No one fights him over it.

Outside, the Crispino twins and Georgi are already waiting. Catching up gets postponed again, why is Yakov sending them so fast lately? He’s killing their socialization time with the other group.

Georgi nods at him in passing, besides some glaring from Michele, the twins ignore him completely.

The sun tries to kill him as soon as he steps out of the shadow. It’s morning, the A/C must be broken again because of the travels. The room is going to be unbearably hot. Yuri will need some sleeping pills again.

After two hours of tossing and turning trying to sleep, Yuri walks to Katsuki’s room at the end of the hall. If he can’t sleep then neither will anyone else.

Katsuki is awake already, judging by the voices coming from his room. Did he have a sleepover in there?

He opens the door and a blood-curdling scream stops him in his tracks. A heart-wrenching cry follows it, one he hasn’t heard in a long time, yet remains familiar. What the fuck? Celestino didn’t even wait a full day to harass Katsuki this time.

At least he had the courtesy of waiting a week before. Katsuki is not staying silent this time either. Instead of waiting for Celestino to get it out of his system, he fights back. Both of them shout unintelligible things at the same time.

This fight has that same feeling as the last one. The desperation and anger in their voices hadn’t been there before.

The door gets slammed with force in his face. The knob twists but the door won’t open, it’s too heavy. Yuri pushes at it with his shoulder but all he manages to do is to lose his balance when its yanked open. A rage-fueled Katsuki holds Celestino up by the neck of his jacket and throws him out. He hits the wall.

“Don’t come back.” Katsuki slams the door shut. It makes the floor and walls tremble a few seconds.

Celestino tries to stand up and fails several times until Yuri takes pity on him. What a crying mess. Katsuki won’t be there to help him through it from now on. Escorting him out and telling everyone he isn’t welcomed back anymore lifts a weight off his chest that’s been there for the last two years. The sleeping pills aren’t needed.   


 

 

* * *

 

JJ spent most of his time in the past talking about Isabella, so it surprises no one when he proposes to her during dinner. They clap and cheer along, no one mentions the sad look on Katsuki’s eyes. A wedding is a rare and beautiful thing and they will celebrate it.

Aynur and Yuri make a plan right away to ration their food further, all good weddings need a banquet. Talks about getting jobs in the city for gift money start going around. JJ’s older brother that Yuri never bothered to remember the name of, offers to find a place to hold the reception, and his mom to make the dress. Yakov offers the alcoholic drinks, which most of them have never tasted. They're rare to come by.

It’ll be a small, simple but happy event that lifts the mood of everyone. Neither Isabella or JJ are close to the group in the past, there’s no need to wait for them. The wedding will take place before the six months are up, in four months time. The happy couple can have the next two off for a honeymoon before it’s back to work for JJ.

There’s a bit of scrambling, but soon everything is ready. Since the preparations sucked most of their budget, there is nothing left for fancy clothing, so they wear the best of what they already own.

The wedding day is the best anyone could have asked for. With the weather cooler than usual, it isn’t unbearable to hold still in a church for hours.

There aren’t many people invited, only the ones that live at the Feltman House, almost half of those people are JJ’s own family, and a few friends. Yuri doesn’t cry along with the rest, all the dust in the church gets into his eyes so they water. Happy crying is for sappy fools, like Victor.

The reception is in a small salon, big enough for them to fit perfectly and not more. A few of Phichit’s many adoptive siblings offered to play in the wedding when they found out, as a way of saying sorry for their father’s behavior.

The food is what they usually eat but enough to leave them all full for once, with the wonderful surprise of a cake at the end.

Yakov shares his Vodka stash with them, it’s a lot. Yuri doesn’t want to know what he had to trade for that. He’s not going to complain. Better that they all drink it than for one person to do it.

The only ones to ever drink before aside from Yakov, are Victor and Katsuki, who tried it on their first trip to the past.

Part of the fun is not knowing how it will be affecting each of them. What type of drunk will they be? Yakov wastes no time, to everyone’s surprise neither does Katsuki. Once, he had been all fun and games on the dance floor, now it all ends with him going from happy to sad drunk.

The tears roll down his dirty cheeks, covered in food from shoving so much into it. If he's not careful he'll lose his traveling shape. Yuri tries several times to stop him, no one else is in a position to help, the focus being on the newlyweds. Katsuki keeps mumbling things, slurring heavily. What might be the words ‘retirement’, ‘wedding’, and ‘responsible’ are said more than a few times. Drunk people make so little sense.

Yakov is not having the same problem. He’s telling everyone that’ll listen about how he’s planning to shut the Traveling Program soon. Nothing new. It’s the exact same speech as when Grandpa died five years ago. He’s made no move since then to stop it besides not teaching anyone how to operate that machine. Yuri rolls his eyes everytime he walks close enough to hear part of his speech.

Sometime during the dance, Celestino arrived. No one notices until he starts fighting with Katsuki. The last time he’d gone looking for him he had found the doors closed, they had seen nothing of him for the next four months. One of his sons in the band must have let it slip and he saw it as an opportunity to pick a fight.

But Katsuki is still not putting up with it, it’s him that throws the first punch and sends Celestino crashing into a table. They’re shouting again, only they know what, their drunken slurring is indecipherable.

Isabella’s lower lip trembles, the dancing has stopped. Yuri clenches his fist. She might be as insufferable as her husband but she does not deserve her day spoiled like this. He grabs Katsuki by the arm and pulls him away from Celestino, it isn’t hard, the drinking made him unstable.

The band stops playing and Guang Hong hurries to his father. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how he found out. I’ll take him home.”

He mutters on his father’s ear and rubs his back as he leads him to the door.

Another one of Celestino’s kids, Leo if Yuri remembers correctly, comes to talk to them. “It’s best that we all leave. I can take him and Yakov home if you guys want.”

“Thank you.” Victor hands Yakov over. When did they get here? “ This one is ruining the wedding. Do you need one of us to go with you?”

Leo shakes his head. “Dad insisted we each get a gun after what happened. I can take care of them.”

That is not a bad idea. Yuri will have to run it through at home.

Leo leaves with the two bad drunks and everyone tries their best to act as if nothing happened. With no music, JJ offers to sing his ‘theme song’ and they all pretend their ears don’t bleed when he does. It’s his special day, he gets to do whatever makes him happy. But it’s the end of Yuri’s nice quota of the year.

Yuri dances with Aynur to JJ’s terrible singing until his feet hurt and his movements become too sloppy. Soon, he has to take a break and sit alone on the table, watching people take turns to sing their favorite song so that the others can dance. Some are pretty decent, most should get punished for it. He rests his face on his arms and taps his feet along to the improvised music.

Katsuki is in for a world of pain come morning. So many months trying to avoid a fight, only to do it at someone’s wedding reception. He should have called for help, they would have dragged Celestino out of there before anyone noticed it. Then again, he was pretty wasted and ever since JJ proposed there’s been that sad glint to his eye.

He must have been thinking about what he overheard that day, about what led to Phichit’s death. It couldn’t have been easy to do all this, participate in the preparations and think this could have been him. Yuri straightens and rubs his eyes. They’ve been too harsh on Katsuki, no one bothered to ask him how he felt about any of this. They noticed but didn’t ask. Some shitty teammates they are.

Yuri stands and makes some hand signals to Victor, indicating that he’s going home for the night.  Victor catches up to him pretty fast and they walk together back home. The streets are dangerous at night, no one should be walking alone. The rocks littering the street wouldn't be much help when fending off someone. The streets are mostly empty, the occasional person walking opposite them every so often gives them a wary look and moves farther away.

Once home, Yuri goes straight to Katsuki’s room. He knocks, no answer. Must’ve been too tired to stay up. Well, his own bed calls, having the talk tomorrow won’t hurt.

  
  
  


Victor wakes up early and lets him sleep until noon, making him look lazy in comparison.

He finds almost everyone in the kitchen during lunch. He’s not the only one with disastrous hair. JJ and Isabella are in an old house on the other end of Yakov’s property, so they can enjoy their time together. They were missing along with the two drunks who must have terrible hangovers. Only one of them is getting his sympathy today.

Breakfast is a quiet event. Everyone is either staring at their bowl or off into the distance. They aren't used to parties at all. It had been more fun than anticipated.

“Yuri, would you take Yuuri his breakfast?” Aynur asks him while she heads outside, carrying Yakov’s tray.

Yuri nods and takes the tray. They can talk while he eats, it’s a good excuse to show up. If not, then he’ll have to keep his promise about showing up to one of the meetings and attack there. He knocks loud enough to wake the heaviest sleeper but, Katsuki doesn’t answer. He knocks again, to make sure he’s not sleeping through it. And then once more, to tell him he’s leaving his food outside. Yuri isn't about to force his company on someone that doesn't want it.

The mood in the kitchen isn't the same as it was ten minutes ago. JJ’s siblings are missing, his parents surround Aynur, who is crying in Victor’s arms. What the fuck happened? He wasn't gone that long.

Yuri approaches them with slow steps. Victor looks at him dead in the eyes. “It’s Yakov.”

No. Impossible.

“Aynur found him, we think it happened sometime during the night.”

No. That old man has been alive since forever. There’s was no way he…

Yuri runs out of the house. It can’t be, he has to see it with his own eyes. He’s halfway there before his legs give out. His hands scratch on the ground, a sting shooting through. There is blood all over his palms, his vision blurs. Victor lifts him by the arm and leads him back into the house and to their room.

Yuri stays in his bed, staring at the wall until he falls asleep. He wakes up alone again. Sunset light comes through the window. The day will end soon. What are they going to do with the body? Yakov always said he wanted a proper burial. They laughed at the time like it was a ridiculous thing that would never happen. Even after Grandpa.

It’ll be easier to burn him, with all that he drank he will catch fire instantly. Yuri passes his fingers through his hair several times, on the last one he clenches his fist and pulls at it.

Where is everyone? Why did they let him sleep the day away? He checks the kitchen, and then the living room, where he finds them all in chaos. Few are calm and some are losing their shit. Victor is one of the latter, did the news take time to register in his head?

“What's happening?” Yuri flinches and takes a hand to his throat. It hurts.

“We were about to bury Yakov.” Aynur puts a soothing hand on his back as if that makes it easier than they weren't going to wake him for it. “We thought we would get everyone together for it. Yuuri wasn't answering and his food plate was still there. We panicked and forced the door open.”

No. Not him too.

“No, no.” Aynur is quick to continue, “We found a goodbye note.” She extends her hand towards Victor and he passes her a paper, which she then hands to Yuri.

It's his handwriting. A quick, messy note by a drunk but still legible and recognizable.

_ Thank you for everything you have given me over the years. Your friendship, love, and companionship. I will forever hold you in my heart, but I have to leave. It’s too painful to stay. _

_ Please understand and don’t hate me.   _

Why? If he was hurting so bad, why didn’t he say it? Why didn’t they ask? Why does everyone keep leaving?

“We've been searching, but he left no trail. He doesn't want to be found.”

Yuri clenches his fist, his fingernails dig into his already hurt palms, making the damage to them worse. That traitor. They were supposed to be on this together to the end. If Yuri ever runs into him again he is going to skin him alive.   


 

 

* * *

 

Life goes by in a blur. Everything stays the same. For having two people missing, nothing is much different. Did their life and presence matter so little?

The Leroys continue with their perfect little family, with their effortless normalcy. Yuri, Victor, and Aynur try to figure out how to keep the Traveling Program alive. The machine is on and working, but only the return Leap is programmed into it. Once the team comes back, it’s over, no more travels. Ever. The world will be stuck, years of their life gone to waste.

It’s useless, they can’t make sense of Yakov’s notes and it’s too dangerous to do it the trial and error way. Too many lives at stake. One mistake and they could leave the others stranded in time. As the date of the return Leap nears, they stop trying as hard.

When the day comes, Yuri and the rest of the residents stay in the Machine Room, waiting for their colleagues, ready to explain. No other choice but to honor Yakov’s last wish and turn the thing off.

They sit in the room, waiting.  

Waiting.

A few minutes before the programmed time, they stand and walk as close as they can. Yuri’s hands tremble, this is it. The end. Victor and Aynur each hold one of his hands, around him the others do the same. They need it as much as he does.

The large screen in front of them shows the countdown. Yakov always loved the flashiness of it. It blinks and the green numbers turn red.

Three...two…

One.

And nothing.  What the fuck? The machine is always punctual. It might not be when sending them somewhere, but the return Leaps are never off. Yuri turns his head left and right, everywhere confused eyes meet his.  Victor keeps his set forward like he can force it to work with the sole force of his stare. The hand Aynur holds gets a painful squeeze and Yuri turns to look at her. Her breathing shallow and heavy, her eyes not leaving the place the group should have materialized in.

The last time she had that look on her face he had been a child, watching Yakov and Grandpa bring her in with Michele and Sara. They had still not trusted them, thinking they were like the people that attacked them during their journey north. Aynur shakes her head, unshed tears in her eyes. All Yuri can do is let go of her hand, which proves to be hard, and bring her into a hug. Victor helps to soothe her but it's clear he is close to falling apart himself.

The waiting starts again. The whole day goes by in that room, and at night, they sleep over each other. Yuri leans on Victor while his legs get used as pillows by JJ. The countdown remains at zero and no one comes.

In the span of two months, they have lost five people and their only way of fighting. The first few weeks someone stays in the room at all times. Everything works as it should. Time moves on and so must all of them, soon enough Yuri and Victor and the only ones constantly checking.

Yakov and Grandpa hadn’t been ones to explain the ins and outs of how their machine works. When he'd joined the program at ten, they only told him about the need to keep his body in a good physical state so that it can handle the Leap. No one wants their body to rip apart, which is apparently something that can happen, though it has yet to. When he turned fifteen and the Machine was ready for human use, they told them the bracelet they wear is from a special metal that can take them back and protect them. They needed to trust that it will take them home at the programmed time. It had never failed.  They can never take it off, once you join, you can never leave. The only way to take it off is death.

That can mean the group didn’t make it back because they are dead. Something in the past went horribly wrong and they are gone. Or it can mean that Yakov did something they aren't aware of to bring them back and that with him gone the others are stranded in time.

But wouldn’t that change the future? Wouldn’t they be here as old people like Yakov and Grandpa? No, they can’t exist at the same time, they can't even go back to the same place twice, which is why they travel in six-month turns. To go back and warn about it if they fuck up. Did they already die in this timeline of old age?

Those are the questions that keep him awake at night. Victor too. They don’t talk about it, there’s no need to.   


 

 

* * *

 

It's like any other day: Yuri and Victor barely dressed, melting on the floor of their room and cursing the malfunctioning A/C. Their angry yells are usually enough to keep any person away. But today doesn’t want to be like any other day, it wants to be “different” and “special”.

“Ready for a night you will never forget?” JJ bangs open the door without any sense of privacy or manners.

“It shouldn’t be this hard to not commit murder.” Yuri throws a pillow at his face, but it falls limp at his feet. Whatever, who has the energy to throw shit in this heat?

“I know just the thing to do tonight.” He kicks the pillow away and struts further into the room, pretending he can’t tell they are picturing gruesome ways to be rid of him. “A sleepover! We’ll tell horror stories, play games and do all those things people did on the old movies.”

Yuri gives a low, long grunt. If there ever was a time for a freak accident, now is it.

Isabella pokes her head through the open door and hands JJ a bag, after a quick wave she closes it. JJ leaves the bag on the floor between Yuri and Victor and sits in front of it.

“It’s the leftovers from the wedding. Yakov can’t drink it now so we might as well.”

“That I can do, but no silly stories.” Yuri sits cross-legged and extends his hand for a bottle.

“Aw, don't be scared kitten, JJ is here to protect you.” He winks at Yuri. “I’ve noticed you’ve been a downer since Yuuri left.”

“Who? I don't remember anyone with that name.”

“Don’t be like that, Kitten. I’m sure he misses you too.”

Yuri leans towards Victor but doesn't bother to lower his voice. “I'm two more kittens away from strangling him with my shoelaces.” It gets a small smile out of him, a sad one but it’s something, they've been lacking even that as of late.

Yuri sighs and motions at JJ to continue, it better be a good fucking story.

It's not. It's one of those lame haunted house stories you hear about often.

With a bright smile, JJ tells his tale. “This all happened on our room the other day. Izzy was getting ready for the night when she started hearing these strange noises from Mrs. Altin’s room-She has the one in front of ours-but she wasn’t around because it's around the time she and Yuri organize the kitchen. My precious Izzy, curious beauty that she is, goes into the room to see what this noise is, and you will never believe what she saw…”

JJ takes turns looking at them, eyebrows raised high. If he wants them to take a guess, then he is overestimating his storytelling abilities and their level of engagement. It's a pretty boring story, nothing special about it. Victor has been drinking nonstop since the story started, the empty stare in his eyes says he has succeeded in tuning out JJ. Up to him to follow the dumb story.

“A rat?” He opens the bottle and takes a drink, he's gonna need many to keep with JJ’s stupidity so long.

JJ kicks him in the legs lightly, making Yuri hit his teeth on the mouth of the bottle and spill the drink on his tank top. As if being drenched in sweat wasn’t bad enough.

“No, she said there was a pretty boy sitting there on her bed.”

“Ooh, a pretty boy, how scary.” Yuri leaves the bottle on the floor and goes find a new shirt. First on his drawer is one that Katsuki had custom made for them. It’s long sleeved and a bit too warm for his liking but he puts it on anyway. Whatever, if JJ does something stupid again, this is the shirt to ruin. The pain in his throat is the drink and nothing else.

“He was there and not there, in and out of this world. When she went to ask who he was, the boy turned around and he was missing half of his body. Izzy got scared, but being the amazing, strong, brave woman that she is, she asks what happened and if he needs any help.” JJ lowers his voice and leans towards them forcing Yuri to lean in too. “The boy gets close to her and says ‘I lost my body... SO GIVE ME YOURS!’” With that, he jumps on Yuri and yanks his arm down, pulling him sideways and slamming his head on the bedside table.

That ends Yuri's patience with the idiot for the night, he smacks him on the head and Victor laughs. That asshole doesn’t pay attention to the bad story but he pays attention to this? He falls back, clutching at his sides. It’s the first time one of them has laughed so hard in months, he goes with it by slamming a pillow right into Victor's face.

A pillow fight starts. It’s rough, violent and a socially acceptable way of hurting people and letting out your anger and frustration. And a bit of fun.

When it’s all out of his system, Yuri sinks into his mattress, limbs sore and heavy. The full moon is visible from his bed. Tonight will be good for resting.

The lights flicker like they used to every few months but haven't done since that day. The door moves, shaking on the frame.

“This would have had a better effect if we were still telling ghost stories. Your wife's timing is a bit off.”

“It’s not her, the plan was waiting until you were asleep to pull your feet.”

The nights of shittier than usual sleep all week now make sense. “I knew someone had been sneaking into my room!”

“Yeah, gotta keep it real for the story time, start the scare tactics a week before. Izzy’s idea, she can be an evil mastermind.”

The flickering hasn’t stopped and the furniture is shaking now too. The door movements get more violent, threatening to burst out of the frame.

“Ghost!.” JJ jumps onto Yuri’s bed and pulls him into a hug.

It can’t be, ghosts aren’t real. The windows explode, glass shards fly everywhere, Yuri covers his head with his arms. The shards hit the shirt but it protects him, they do cut his unprotected legs. A few nicks, nothing serious. The other two are also unharmed. He holds on to JJ as protection, if anything attacks it will have to destroy him first to reach Yuri.

“Earthquake.” Victor runs to the door with wobbly legs, it’s stuck shut.

Of course, an earthquake, that’s what Yuri was thinking too. He lets go of JJ and helps Victor open the door. On the hall, they search for the alarm and pull it. A shrill, loud noise drowns everything else and almost splits their head in half. If anyone slept through the shaking this will wake them, they’ll know to meet them outside.

Yuri stumbles a bit on his run to the stairs at the end of the hallway, somehow he maintains his balance, but Victor trips with his own feet and brings him down too. Those drinks affected their coordination more than expected, the shaking isn’t helping. As if listening to his thoughts, everything stops moving. JJ hurries to their side and helps them to their feet.

The lights still flicker, and somehow the A/C is magically fixed. The temperature drops so much their breath becomes visible. At least something good came out of it.

“Did you paint the walls? I remember this hall being uglier. No offense.”

“JJ focus. We still need to go outside, it’s not safe here.” Victor is about to descend the stairs when the lights finally stop flickering. It leaves them in complete darkness. Even the alarm shuts off.

Before they can complain or, in JJ’s case, cry about ghosts, the lights come back on, the only problem now is that the stairs aren't there anymore. It's just a wall. It makes no sense, Yuri has never heard of anything similar happening. Is it a drunken hallucination? Is this what Yakov went through every day?

There are strange, loud noises behind them and no way he’ll turn around to check what they are because if he can’t see it it means it isn’t there. It doesn’t matter how much JJ pulls at his shirt or how much his face looks as if he has seen a ghost, Yuri is not turning. There's only so long he can stare at a wall and give his back to danger, though. Holding his breath, he turns. What is all the hassle about?

People walk in the hallway, appearing and disappearing too fast to make out any details about them.

They vanish into the walls, their voices echo and mix together, impossible to tell apart. If those are ghosts, they are harmless so far. No one will be getting their bodies stolen by them for now.

They are not the only new thing. The doors along the hallway are changing as well as the walls. JJ noticed something useful, who would have thought? The wallpaper isn't done materializing when another starts taking its place, only to be replaced by paint that also keeps changing colors. This isn’t happening, none of it is real, it's his eyes playing tricks. A glance at the others terrified faces says otherwise.

Making their way back to their room and hiding under the covers until it all goes away like children isn't even possible, the door to their room is not there anymore. None of the new doors have a doorknob, pushing or breaking one open proves not only impossible but painful.

“We’re all going to die here.” JJ holds them by the back of their shirts, voice shaky and eyes wild. “The ghosts are taking us to their dimension.”

JJ is dumb and never right, JJ is dumb and never right. If he repeats that enough it can turn into reality. It makes more sense than whatever is happening right now.

Yuri takes the first step forward, followed by the other two, to the other end of the hallway. New stairs have appeared there, might as well go down. What’s the worst that can happen? They’re already trapped in ghost dimension.

JJ stops them from going down when they reach it. It looks like the old one. “What if it dematerializes again? Or if it leads to Hell? Or if a wall appears after you start going down and we lose you forever?” He holds on to Victor's shoulders, digging his fingers and making him wince.

“Do you want us to hold your hand?” It's meant to be mocking but it comes far too serious for that.

JJ does hold their hand, Yuri tries to shake it off, but not too hard. The hand holding might help but only a little. It’s for JJ’s benefit. He can be an ass but he’s not heartless, Yuri can lend him a hand in a time of need. There is no more meaning to it.

They take the first step down as a trembling, messy unit. Somehow they fit themselves in at the same time and wait for the worse. Nothing happens besides the lights flickering again. They get brighter and change positions, moving the shadows they cast. Between one flick and the next, the stairs change too. The walls are wider, the ceiling taller, the steps shorter, and there is a new banister to hold on to at the side. They all notice it, none of them mentions it.

It isn't until the last step that the sight of Katsuki makes his blood run cold. He appears out of thin air, like the others in the hall, walking by without seeing or noticing them in any way. He stops to look behind him, laughs and waves goodbye to someone out of their sight, then goes into a wall and out of sight.

Victor rips his hand off JJ’s and follows Katsuki to the wall. It’s solid. They should drag him back from the ghosts that will rip his skin off and feast with it after taking it for a ride, but his legs won’t move. This isn’t normal, it’s not something they prepare them for, or even warn about. Ghost don’t exist, but if they did, why is Katsuki one of them? Who are all those other people? Why haunt this place?

That doesn’t matter now, what matters is that they pulled the alarm and the others are outside, waiting for them...if they made it. No, they did make it, most of their rooms are downstairs, closer to the exit. They should be the ones waiting for them. Everyone must be worried and they can’t have that. It’s been enough with the past few months, they need to be out right now. With teeth clenched and deep breaths, Yuri pulls Victor from the wall. If he’s lucky, some evil demon spirit masquerading as Katsuki won’t have possessed him yet.

JJ  holds on to Victor’s other arm and together they drag him down the corridor to the entrance. He spares a glance to the sides, the kitchen and living room are both empty. The ghost people are less frequent, only one or two coming and going. Yuri checks the other's eyes often to confirm their souls are still in place.

As soon as they put a foot outside, the world shakes again. It’s not as scary now, but they still need to take distance in case the house falls on them. Once they are far enough, they notice it, the emptiness all around them.

“They’re still inside. All of them.” Yuri can’t take his eyes off the shaking building. Even for them, it is tough to maintain their balance while standing still. Inside it would be much more difficult.

“No. No!” JJ gives two steps towards it, then it falls, sending them all down with it.

The rocks dig at his back. The dust clouds their vision and makes them cough.

They’re all still in there. They could have helped. They wouldn’t have made it out and dying trapped under a building isn’t something Yuri longs to do, but at least he would have died knowing he tried, instead of running to safety and leaving them behind. Life as a ghost wouldn’t be so bad. Not when he would have that knowledge.

Had it been any other night, he would've been surprised to see the building lift itself upright, but after everything he witnessed, all the water in the world could float upwards into space to extinguish the sun and he’d think nothing of it.

A flash of lightning splits the night. It can only come from one place: the machine room. Victor and JJ share a look with him and nod. They stay behind to find the others, Yuri needs to check on that machine. If something happens to it all is lost. There’s no other way of getting Group B back.

Light pours from the edges of the door, a smell of burning wood comes off it. The windows are broken, he tiptoes over the shards, careful not to hurt his bare feet, and peeks through. His eyes barely clear the edge. Lightning shoots all over inside, blinding him for a moment. With a lot of effort and some minor complaining, he lifts himself higher. The countdown on the machine is active again, it’s in use, someone is coming through.

It could be the lost Travelers, or it could be something else. Though he didn’t believe in the supernatural, a doorway to hell could open in that room and he wouldn't even blink. Grandpa trained him to be brave and do his job, but going in there is a stupid decision.

The lightning stops, daring him to go inspect the room. Oh, fuck you, mindreading supernatural being.

Stepping inside makes Yuri’s skin crawl. It looks the same, but there is an energy in the air. He shouldn’t have controlled his drinking so much, everything would be less scary if he was shitfaced.

Who knew a Leap could be so extreme? It would look so cool if the first thing a Traveler did wasn’t bend over and vomit, or twist and moan in pain.

The door slams shut behind him. It’s was a trap all along, the demons have him now. The lighting starts again inside the room, but this time, instead of flying around trying to kill everything, it condenses into four balls at the center of the room, where arrivals happen. Shouldn’t there be three? Who else is in there?

He walks to the edge of the painted circle, the last point of safety, and waits.     
  
Yuri closes his eyes in preparation for the last burst of light, then covers them with both hands, to be sure accidental blindness doesn't happen. The others should be well. After Group B appears they can share the good news of the wedding. The bad ones can wait.

Behind him, the machine makes loud noises, as if it's breaking. It won’t matter after this Leap, it’ll be a useless, oversized piece of trash.

A couple of dull thuds and vomiting sounds signal their arrival. It’s time to welcome them back. Now that the light from the machine is gone, it's too dark to see them.

They make so much noise, there seems to be a struggle. Someone runs into Yuri, it shouldn’t be enough to move him but his balance is off. He stumbles and steps on something, twisting his ankle. He lifts the foot and jumps a bit on the other one to try and stay upright, but he slips and falls on his back.

He’ll have to delete the security tape of that if they make it through this, or he’ll never live it down.

A horrible pain shoots through his head, was the fall that hard? Yuri grabs at it, trying to keep it from splitting.

Someone tears the door open. Light comes in, what he stepped on was the arm of an unconscious kid now laying beside him. This isn't one of their Travelers, how did he get here?

The door gets blocked by a large group, one of the Travelers tries to run out of the room but they get caught. They put up a short struggle, but get punched so hard they fall and don't get up.

The pain stops but nothing makes sense anymore. The world has gone crazy. The shadows take over and in the distance, over the buzz, they call his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update once a week every Sunday. I'm so nervous, I have so much more respect for fic writers now.


	2. Right in Front of You

“Yuri. Hey, Yuri, are you awake yet?”

“No.” Yuri turns his head away and his stiff neck cracks. His limbs are sore and it’s hard to move. What did he do to deserve JJ first thing in the morning? What sort of private, personal hell…

Hell, ghost stories, lighting, the machine, the people. Yuri’s eyes shoot open and he tries to sit, the most he can do is flop around in his belly like a dying fish. His head is fine aside from the light pain, not that he can check with his hands since he is handcuffed. He doesn’t feel like dying anymore, so that’s an improvement.

Yuri turns belly up and does a quick checkup. There are cuts all over his legs and feet, most are scratches but others are deeper. The shorts got torn a bit but the shirt is spotless. The back pain will be staying a few days, so will the bruise on his butt. All in all, not that bad for the day they’d had. Their souls are still in their bodies and they’re complete.

Victor and JJ aren’t doing much better, with their torn, dirty clothes, cuts, nasty hair and dark eye circles. Whoever kidnapped them put no effort into healing them.

The room they’re in is very clean and well illuminated but empty, with only a wall-mounted counter.

The only person that still looks presentable is the sleeping kid in a mat by the corner. Too thin and fragile to be a Traveler. Did they check him for internal damage? His breathing is too calm for someone who is about to die of pain though. That’s one lucky kid. Yuri wouldn’t have handcuffed him, but what does he know about keeping prisoners?

“Did you find the others?” Even his voice is a raspy mess. 

Victor shakes his head. “The house built itself back up, but different and empty. I don’t remember much.”

“Do you think this is purgatory?”

Victor ignores JJ. “We woke up here. Don’t know who the kid is but he has a bracelet.”

“There was a Leap, four people. He was one of them. It’s impossible to bring someone from the past, so who the hell is he?”  Where are the others? Is he one of Yakov’s tests subjects? Why had they never met? How long had he been in the past? In what time period and what was he doing there? When will all the confusing shit end? 

With a bit of effort and mutual help, they sit with their backs to the wall facing the door. They huddle together for warmth and stay in silence. The cold room is refreshing but they aren’t dressed for it. JJ twists and fidgets, he’ll only hurt his wrists more if he doesn’t stop. The good thing about having no one left to love in the world is not having to worry about them when disaster strikes. 

Tired as they are, it only takes a few minutes for Victor to fall asleep and lean his head on Yuri’s shoulder. It’s hard to keep his eyes open when they long to close. His breathing evens out and sleep comes for him. Not even the strange movements in his stomach or the discomfort from his joints prevent it.

The door banging close startles him awake. His body doesn’t feel as shitty, but his neck is still in pain.

At the door, a uniformed woman with short, red hair and a deep frown stares them down with her hands at her hips. She's the one that punched the Traveler; they’ll need to be careful.

Whatever these people want, they’ll get nothing. Not because they’ll protect it with their lives but because they have nothing left. If it’s the machine, then too fucking bad because no one is using that thing any time soon. They attacked the wrong people. 

She walks towards them, pulls Victor to his feet with little to no effort and removes his handcuffs. “Don’t try anything, you know how strong I am and I’m not scared of hurting you.” Her voice is cold and clear, leaving no doubt that she will break them with one hand on her back.

Victor nods once and rubs his wrists. She pulls Yuri up next, her grip strong on his arm, her fingers digging deep. The woman frees him and pushes him into Victor. He keeps his balance this time, though his ankle almost gives away again. 

“I’m so disappointed in you,” she says as she helps JJ up. “I don’t know what you three idiots were thinking, or who this fucking kid is.” She points at the mat. “But there better be a good explanation.”

Okay? Unexpected. Not even Grandpa talked to him like that.

“So you have nothing to say for yourselves? Victor? JJ?” She looks at each of them as she calls their name. “Yuri?”

That wasn't his imagination, her eyes and tone went colder when she talked to him. Her problem is with Yuri specifically. Is this some sort of intimidation tactic? A way of saying ‘I know who you are and you’re the weakest link’? That they have an advantage? Well, that’s not going to work.

“Fine, be like that.” She walks out and before closing the door says, “I’ll be treating you as an enemy. There’ll be no mercy. So you better cooperate. By the way, you stink.” 

Yuri sneers. Who the fuck does she think she is to say that? She’s right, but still. 

With a serious face, Victor puts a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to mention it earlier but, Yuri, you have dried puke on your back.”

Yuri rips the shirt off his back, cold be damned. He throws it to the corner of the room and eyes the other two. One of these pigs has to be responsible.

Regret comes soon with the shivers, that shirt was keeping him warmer than he gave it credit for. Rubbing his arms does nothing to stop the cold. At least Victor and JJ are in the same position.

  
  


 

Waiting is a form of torture they practice on them. They can't open the door or kick it down, and there are no windows. They could use the time to plan a more elaborate escape, but with the hangover, the pain, the lack of food, water and toilet, they can't concentrate. Their hamsters are officially dead at the wheel.

The other two are as lost as Yuri with the woman. She talked to them as if she knew them, but none of them have ever seen her. She wants answers from them, but answers for what? They are more lost than she is. The events that led them here make no sense at all. Untangling it all is too much work for their current state.

Is she Katsuki's friend? The way she talked to them was too personal for that. Why does she think they know who the kid is? Why wasn’t Grandpa among the ghosts? Where are the Travelers? The kid is here, but one of them has been hurt and taken, are they torturing them for information? Is it Yuri’s turn to be tortured next? This might be his last day on earth. 

Yuri sighs. There isn’t much to miss; he never cared for making a life. They’re supposed to save the world, not live in it. People will miss him for a while, but they’ll move on eventually and forget all about him. 

After an eternity of nothing, Red comes back with two other people carrying trays of bread and water. Finally, something to calm the monster in his stomach. They set it on the counter and the extra two leave, she is alone with them again.

“Why did you do it, Yuri?” Red is much less angry now.

Yuri stares at her, trying not to look tired and pathetic. JJ brings a tray over, a piece of bread already in his mouth when he sits down. He has no energy left to talk, so he takes a bite of the bread and moans. It could be the hunger playing games on him but it’s delicious, nothing like what they tend to eat.

“Were you scared? Angry that all you worked for was for nothing? What was the point of all this? Hm?” She spreads her arms wide.

Is she trying to make him angry? He can question the point of his life but she can’t. She is no one to judge him and his work. What is she accusing him of anyway? He’s made his peace with retirement and it’s none of her damn business.

He takes too long to answer, her arms get tense. “Did someone put you up to this? Why — ” Her voice breaks and eyes water, she passes a hand through her hair. “Why did you do this to us?”

What is this woman on? What does she keep going on about? “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t even know who you are.” He shivers again; puke shirt doesn’t sound bad at all right now. Yuri stares at her dead in the eye. “I’m cold, hurt, and dirty. I  have no idea of what you’re going on about. So, be clear, kill me or let me go because I am done with this shit.”

Victor and JJ both elbow him at the same time and he holds in a groan. He will have their heads later, his body is too sore right now for that.

That is if she doesn’t shoot them in the head right there. 

Red leaves again with something that sounds like a “What in the world is going on?” before the door closes.

Great, the people holding them captive are as lost as they are. Not a good sign.

  
  


 

It’s hard to tell how long they’ve been there. They can’t see the sky, there are no clocks and the lights are always on. They sleep when they want to, but have no way of knowing if it’s a quick thirty-minute nap or if they died for five hours straight and didn’t notice. It’s equally shitty upon waking.

It’s boring, uneventful, and the worst is that loud JJ is the quiet, sad one of the group. Plain wrong and unnatural.

Yuri still cuddles with them, because it’s not weird when it’s cold as fuck and he’s only wearing shorts. Blondy’s clothes are strange, but they seem to keep him warm enough not to need blankets and safe from cuddling. Would it be weird if he stole them? The height difference is large, they'd be a bad fit.  

The next time they get a visit it’s not Red anymore, but a short, stocky man. He carries something that isn't food or water; thus not interesting and leaves the door open behind him. He comes to a stop in front of Yuri and stares. The intensity is a little disturbing. Is he here to take the disrespectful one to the back and shoot him? Yuri stares back. 

“What’s with you, asshole?” He stands and towers over him. Thank his lucky stars, his legs don't give out.

Shorty’s eyes widen and shift around the room, but he doesn’t take a step back. The discomfort shows, it’s like he wants to crawl out of his skin and leave this place. Ha, not so hot and tough now. No sympathy for these people.

“Mila asked me to bring your clothes.” He offers them with both hands.

Oh, so he carried something useful after all. That’s kind of awkward, with their bodies being ten centimeters away from each other.

Clothes aren’t something he’s in a position to refuse, so he grabs them and takes a few steps back, otherwise, he ’ll be stripping in his personal space and that’s just weird for everyone involved. It's not only a shirt but some warm pants and a jacket too. Everything is his size, Mila has a good eye. While Yuri changes, Shorty’s eyes don’t leave him. So much intensity burns. The others will laugh at him when the dude goes away.

The whole process of taking off his shorts and standing there in underwear to putting the pants on as fast as possible has to be one of the worst moments of his life. It's not that he hasn't changed with other people in the room before, but he’s never the center of attention when he does. All his focus goes into not falling over, his legs and ankle are still weak as hell. 

The jacket is warm and comfortable, and he’ll wear it forever. Unless the horrible heat comes back, then he’ll throw it into the fire never look back. Though it’d be a shame to destroy something with such a cool style. It’d be so much easier to hate their captors if they were lame. 

Shorty still has his eyes on him, more calculating than creepy, and doesn’t back down when he stares back. How shameless. 

Yuri gives careful steps towards him. The door is still open. He throws a punch to his face but is too slow. Shorty stops it with his arm and Yuri _ did not expect him to be so strong. _ What is he made of? He strangles a cry and bends over, holding his hand. Fuck, it hurts, if it's broken he'll never live it down. There goes his escape plan… and his dignity. 

“Are you okay? Does it hurt? Is it broken?” Shorty tries to hold his hand and get a look.

Yuri turns away. Is he trying to be an asshole? Rubbing how weak Yuri is in his face. That was stupid and careless of him, leaving the door open wasn't so much a mistake as it was a way of saying ‘you are no threat to me’. Bastard. What a fucking asshole.

“Yuri, will you hold me and keep me warm?”

That strikes him dead. How many more times will he be humiliated before the day ends? By his own colleagues, no less. He’ll give him warmth. With his fists.  

Shorty takes his eyes off him to look at JJ, then leaves. The door remains open.

JJ whines about the cold again and Victor laughs. The headache is back.

“It’s you.” Oh no, it’s Blondy.  He woke up from his years of slumber just to see that. What are the odds? His eyes are not directed at them, though. They are at the door, which gets closed this time by another, taller man. He was there all along and saw it all. Cool, cool.

Yuri is seething, warm and comfortable but seething. It goes away when he recognizes the person at the door. It’s the last person he expected. Mostly because he’s been dead for years. Out of all the confusing things that have been going on since that sleepover, this is the worst of them by far. He doesn’t even have the decency to come as an ambiguous ghost the way Katsuki did. This is a solid, corporeal, living body.

“Grandpa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter this time. The following two are long because I separated them in the outlining phase. Thanks to the two people that left kudos and whoever else made it to the end <3


	3. Fever Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a few tags.

It’s like a dream, the kind that lures you into a false sense of comfort and security before turning into a nightmare. Yuri saw Grandpa die at ten years old, his body buried next to Grandma’s as he wished. But he’s here now, alive and well. 

No, those aren’t Grandpa’s eyes. It’s Nikolai. An old Nikolai that resembles a younger Grandpa, of how he’d been at sixty or so. The wrinkles on his face aren't as marked; his posture much better. He should be much older than that; Grandpa died older years ago.

“Follow me, I’ll explain everything.” Nikolai picks Blondy up bridal style and walks out with him. 

They have to give Yuri a light push so he won't stand there forever.

Their room is at the end of a long, white hall, with only one other closed door before the hall curves to the left. A flight of stairs leads them to an ample living room, complete with comfortable couches and wide windows only seen in the past. Beautiful flowers decorate one of the tables. They’ve been inside a house this entire time?

Nikolai sets Blondy on the edge of the couch, his head on the armrest. He’s awake but won’t be for long, going by those long blinks. A body fit for Leaping is hard to obtain, why send this wimpy kid? That was irresponsible.

He then motions at them to sit. They do so, side by side with Victor and JJ in the middle and Yuri at the other extreme of it. With a bundle of fruits, Yakov walks into the room.

Yuri stands, ready to rip his head off. Victor pulls him back to his seat by the hem of his jacket. There is a sparkle in his eyes, he’s figured it all out. 

JJ is the only one that has kept his poker face so far, he gives away none of his thoughts. “We found your dead body. Both your bodies...Oh, no. The building collapsed on us. We died. Is this heaven?” 

So much for keeping his cool. It does make sense, though this isn’t heaven, no place that has him share a room with JJ and Victor for days in the cold can be called that. He was forced to cuddle with them. 

“ It worked?” Victor’s asks.

“Yes.” Yakov sits on a loveseat to their side and eats his food. On his wrist, a metal catches the light.

This Yakov isn’t theirs. He doesn’t look younger and healthier like Nikolai, but he doesn't stink of alcohol, and his walk and speech aren’t bad either.

The zombification of the hamster completes; the wheel turns again. It can't be.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, it took us a long time to figure it all out. We still don’t know exactly what happened.” A thin, older, stern-faced woman walks in, she’s not a dead person from their past but a complete stranger and a relief.

Nikolai pulls two chairs from another room and sets them in front of them. “It’s hard to know where to start. I’m happy to see you again.” 

“I’m not the Yakov you saw die, you’ll have to fill me in on the disturbing details later. I thought it best to share our stories since most of us are in the same position.” With that old grandpa voice, it’ll be hard not to fall asleep before he’s done talking.

“The world I came from was a dying one, in my youth I found the work of a deceased friend of my sister.” He waves a hand at Nikolai. It’s been so long since Yuri last heard this story, a new perspective ought to make it refreshing. “This man built a time machine, but died soon after, before it could be safe for human use. I spent most of life working on making it so, but my resources were scarce; by the time I did, I was too old. My body couldn't handle a Leap.

“That’s why I sent my son, Kenjirou, to save Nikolai and grant us one more chance. After that, the world changed around me and I found myself here. You did a good job son. You saved us, I’m proud of you.” Yakov gives him a loving smile.

That wimpy kid that can barely handle a Leap is the Original Traveler? The one that saved Grandpa, the world, and started all this? The one Yuri grew up hearing stories about and wanted to meet since he can remember? Cool. 

It’s strange, Yakov having a son. The old man on his time never married or had children, loved few things more than his bottle. Had he not seen him in the past as a child Yuri would have sworn he came into the world old, grumpy, and with an ugly hat. 

“The timeline Kenjirou created is the one we came from,” says Victor.

Nikolai and the woman nod. 

If their timeline was created from that original travel, then this one has to be Group B's doing. The ones that made the Leap back and were taken by Mila. 

“Our turn to fill the holes.” JJ is good at talking, so he does most of it. At last something good comes out of his inability to shut up for more than five minutes. JJ explains everything, their training, Yakov’s death, the program getting canceled and their stranded colleagues with a bit of Victor's help. Even their crazy sleepover night makes it into the story.

“Only two people Leaped,” says the woman.

“I saw four lights.” Yuri’s fingernails dig into his palms, his body is already full of bruises and cuts, what’s one more?

The woman looks him in the eye, much like Shorty had done. It’s getting old fast. “My name is Lilia. We only have two travelers, the original one and a young woman in the hospital.”

The three of them stand up, talking over the other, asking where she is and what they’d done to her. They better not have hurt Sara.

“Calm down. She was a stranger in our grounds with our broken time machine, trying to run away. The security team stopped her. Sara is okay, her brother hasn’t left her side. A doctor is on the way, he should be arriving soon.” 

If they only have two Travelers, how is Michele by her side? A weight settles on Yuri’s stomach. There has to be a mistake.

“I saw four lights, where are the other ones?” He has to be right, there are four Travelers.

Lilia stays firm. “The lights could have merged into two, and according to the report, you were on the floor writhing in pain while holding your head and screaming before losing consciousness. Will you deny that?”

That’s not exactly how it happened, though it’s pretty close. But it can’t be two people. It just can’t, it doesn’t add up.

Nikolai clears his throat, calling the attention back to himself. “It took us more than I would like to admit to notice something was wrong. Michele used to disappear with Sara when he thought the men were trying to get close to her. Then the time came and you never came back, no one did. We thought it worked, but we still wanted to make it better. We never did manage to send someone back. It wouldn’t work, we thought it was as much as the world was willing to change. The Program is up to vote for cancellation this year.”

“So what changed?” Kenjirou asks, his voice weak. “What was it that made the timeline change again?”

It has to be something after the group disappeared. Nothing before that was different than their failed approach.

“Sara might know, but her body was very damaged by the Leap. It will take time for her to be well enough to share it with us. As well as what happened to the rest of the team. Why she was the only one to come back.”

Why do they insist on that? “Punching her face off probably didn’t help.” Lilia’s mouth gives an almost imperceptible twitch. Victory.

Victor rises. “If that’s all, we need some time to process this.” 

“Would you like a tour of the grounds? We can do it on the way to your rooms.”

They share a look, Yuri and Kenjirou are presentable besides their died-three-days-ago faces. JJ and Victor are still a complete mess. 

Lilia helps Kenjirou into a wheelchair and follows Nikolai out, Yakov not very far behind. No one waits to hear their protests, they leave no other option but to follow. 

The sun is bright but the day is not as hot as they’re used to. From the outside, the circular shape of the house is more noticeable. The two houses on either side look the same, down to the flowers and trees planted around them. It’s not something they've seen in person before but it’s recognizable from their projects. Something came of it.

It’s probably Sara and her team that made the difference. Their efforts tend to reset by the time they return to the present but it's visible everywhere in this timeline.

The houses belong to the three founding members. They’re large enough for a person to live comfortably without feeling too empty. Birds chirp and the grass is a  healthy green. There isn’t much else around besides the trees, in the distance, there are some fences. The house they had been in, the middle one, belongs to Nikolai. 

On the way to the machine room, they're treated to a story about Yakov and Lilia not wanting to live together after their divorce and building their homes with Nikolai in the middle.  The walk north to the room, at a leisure pace, takes about half an hour. It’s completely different than in their time, circular and, though a bit burned and destroyed, in a better condition. It even has a little waiting room by the side and a training space. 

The people working on cleaning the mess stare at them as they walk by, some wave. None of them are familiar. They’ve already seen more people in their short walk than the total of residents at home. How many people live here? 

The training area is similar but larger and with more equipment. Their entire property could have fit on these grounds. 

From there, they head east, and that’s when they run into something otherworldly. Not similar but better. The shitty old house they lived in is gone, in its place, something more impressive.

It’s a huge, circular building about three floors high. Flowers in a wide variety of colors and shapes along the edges, with benches every few meters. It’s sturdy and definitely houses more people than what they had back home.

“This is where you'll be living. We've arranged for your family or friends to pick you up. They can show you around, or we can give you a quick tour,” Lilia says. “The doors open at 6 am and remain so until 11 pm. After that, you will have to sleep outside.”

Further east there are rows and rows of trees. Resting under their shade will have to wait until Yuri is well rested. Accidentally falling as sleep there and getting locked out doesn’t sound appealing.

A big, brown blur attacks Victor, tackling him to the ground, where he struggles under it. A tall, blonde man in his early thirties with glasses helps to get it off him while the rest are still paralyzed. It's a dog. A fluffy, drooling dog. People have pets here. This is, without a doubt, their greatest accomplishment.

“Hello, do you know us?” The man points at himself and the dog in rapid motion, his too pretty eyes going between Victor, still on the ground, to JJ and Yuri. The three of them shake their head. “Oh, then I’m Chris, Victor’s best friend and this is Makkachin, his dog. Don’t worry I’ve been feeding him.” 

Victor has a dog and a best friend, life is looking better for him already.

Chris takes Victor’s hand and pulls him up. “Look at you, you need a warm bath and a rest. We’re rooming together on the first floor.”  He leads him in. “Don’t worry kids, you’ll see him later. Some other day we can all get together and you can tell me how sexy you find me all over again. Already looking forward to it.” He winks at them and walks straight ahead through the hall and some large crystal doors.

The hall is spacious enough for a group of people to walk together comfortably, with a glass wall on the left. On the other side, there are tables of different sizes, a food bar, and stairs on the side leading to the upper floors.

Lilia waves her arm as she walks in front of them. “This is where we eat, breakfast is served from 6-8 a.m., lunch from 12-2 p.m., and dinner from 6-9 p.m. If you don't make it at that time, you will not eat. You’re free to grab fruit at any hour.” 

Had it been between those hours, Yuri would have ditched the group. The smell that comes from there is delicious. A few of the kitchen workers notice them and wave. Yuri waves back, being rude to the people handling the food is something only a fool does. 

“On the right is the hospital. You can visit your friend when you are well-rested.” Lilia locks eyes with Yuri. “Try not to need it, we don't have a doctor at the moment.”

Is she trying to imply something? Did she see the security footage and think him a stumbling idiot that hurts himself on a daily basis? Had she been younger Yuri would have demanded a challenge. She’s lucky Grandpa raised him better than that.

On the other side of the crystal door, is a lot of green. It extends in a smaller circle around them. Like a giant donut where they all live. The paved path forward leads to a large tree at the center, blooming in shades of red, pink and white; a circular stone bench surrounds it. Little posts point directions at them. Three other paths extend from it, similar doors at the end of each.

“The inner circle is divided in four. You can access other parts of the building through here. This section has the hospital, events hall, and the public baths.” She points to where they came from and swipes her arm to their right. “We project movies and shows outside on Weekend nights. You are welcome to bring blankets, pillows, and food or get them from a stall.

“Next to the baths are the dorms, taking the whole fourth of the building; outside we have a flower garden for those that enjoy it.” She points east, opposite from the baths. “That door, leads to the lounge and rec rooms, on both sides. You can get together with friends there. If you walk through you will see the path to the entrance of the community. You can ask someone else to give you that tour later. Next to the kitchen is the supply room, if you need anything request it there. In that section of the circle, we keep some animals, like chickens and ducks. 

“And on that section, is the playground, you can access the school through there,  but don't go in if you don't need to. There is also the garage and some of our workers' offices, nothing you need to concern yourselves with.

“You can head for the baths and wait for your family, or do it here and have them lead you to your room first. Kenjirou, you didn't exist in this timeline so I will call Supply and request something for you. You can also choose to live with your father or get a room alone or with someone, though there is a waitlist for that.”

That sure is a lot that he didn’t take in, couldn’t they do this when they weren’t about to drop dead. Chris and Victor should be free for bugging if he gets lost. It’s clear in his wide, scared eyes that Kenjirou got none of that but he nods along anyway. There’s some color on his overly pale face. 

“I would like to room with someone. I’ve never met anyone I wasn't related to,” he says, lowering his eyes and blushing.

This is a chance Yuri is not willing to pass. “Victor is already rooming with someone and I don't see JJ offering so I’ll share with you. I take it I have a room here?” Lilia nods, the strange frown back on her face.

Kenjirou’s smile threatens to overshadow the sun. So blinding it is, that no one notices the Leroys creeping up on them until they’re already holding JJ, surrounding him in a circle of family love. There are things even changes on a timeline can't destroy.

“Ah, I was starting to wonder when you would come. Where is my lovely Isabella?”

As soon as those words are out of his mouth, his family steps away, their brows furrowed and lips pressed tight. In a wordless agreement, Nathalie gets the word. With a pained smile, she rests a hand on his shoulder. “Isabella is with her boyfriend, you broke up a year ago.” It doesn't matter how soft and careful her words are, JJ’s isn't getting them. He looks at his family like they are speaking a different, incomprehensible language.

Fuck. Fuck no. Yuri is not doing this, no way. Where is Victor when they need him? “Did no one explain to you?” Shit, now he's doing it. Should have bitten his lip to keep his big mouth shut.

JJ shrinks into himself. Everyone's horrified gazes probably aren’t helping him to feel comfortable one bit.

“They warn us, JJ, before we choose to take the bracelet.”

“Warn us about what?” He’s starting to get upset.

Though JJ took so long to pass the physical, even Yakov wouldn’t forget something so important, no matter how drunk he was. Right? Oh, shit. Fuck.

Someone is in for a rude awakening and for once, Yuri wants nothing to do with it. But there it is, the horrible realization dawning on JJ’s eyes. Even an annoying fuck like he is doesn't deserve to have his life ruined like this. Despite his personality, he is a good person.

No wonder he’d been so calm and collected. “You thought everyone from home was back here. That they also made it through the Ripple.” He shouldn't be talking. Shouldn't be pushing the knife in further and twisting it but the words are out before he can stop them.

Once again, the only scenario where it’s actually good to be completely alone in the world.

“It’s the reason Yakov couldn't even touch a bracelet with his bare hands and Victor had to put it on you. He showed us, it burned his skin. That's because the Original Yakov was wearing one himself. More than one version can’t exist. If I hadn’t been wearing a bracelet, I wouldn't have made it through the Ripple.  My existence would’ve reset to fit the new world. Everyone that wasn't wearing one when the Ripple came was taken over by their new timeline self.”

Yakov nods, confirming everything Yuri said. He’s much more helpful than the other old man ever was already. 

JJ’s legs give out, his father and brother catch him before he can hit the floor and help him sit on the stone bench. Yakov sits next to him, with an arm over his shoulders. “We don't know if all the people in your time will be here. They could be around, or somewhere else, they might not exist at all. We have no way of knowing. Some relationships might be the same, as your parents, some might not.”

There is no easy way of putting it. Just the facts and deal with them. JJ needs to start dealing with the fact that his ‘mother’ is not exactly his mother. Not the one that raised him. He buries his face in his hands. Everyone waits, no one dares speak. 

Having known each other since their early teens, Yuri is aware of JJ’s tendencies to get lost in his head and be consumed by his fears in a heartbeat. Most of the time he can get himself out of the slump, one of his only redeeming qualities.

JJ is not the only one in the middle of a crisis, away from them stand Nikolai and Lilia, sharing a worried look.

“Excuse me, I would like to leave now.”

His parents take one arm each and walk him to the dorm building. As the new team leader, Victor will need to check on him later. It’ll be hard, neither one knows what JJ is going through at the moment. They both lost their parents at a young age and never married.

Yuri grabs hold of the wheelchair. Kenjirou gapes at him, his face comes alight when they enter the flower garden.

“We should get some sleep too.” Yuri glares at Nikolai and Lilia until they stop their sad staring contest and get the hint to lead him to his room because he is fucking lost.

There are a lot of flowers in the garden, more than he can put a name to. The next time he has free time, he’ll have to smell them all and learn their names.

The dorms are simple. A light green hall with doors on either side. They get on the elevator and up to the second floor. Kenjirou keeps his puppy dog excitement during all this.

Yuri is a bit amazed by the inside too, so different from the old home. It’s clean, in good condition, and smells nice, but it isn't enough to deserve that look of wonder. Had the kid been living in a cave?

When they get out of the elevator, people are walking in the hall. They must be their new neighbors, as there is a flash of recognition in their eyes, they wave and look away fast, uncomfortable. He better not be inheriting bad relationships with them.

Still better than the gawking others had done. None comparable to the intense shorty that threatened to set Yuri on fire with his eyes. If there is someone to avoid, it’s him. Dude probably had beef with Other-Yuri he wants to carry over.

They stop in front of room #205.  There is no knob anywhere, much like the doors they've seen up until now. They must have gone out of use in this world.

Nikolai stands there, not doing anything. “Oh, right, put your hand there.” He tries to take Yuri’s hand, he slaps it away and he settles for pointing to a small pad by the door. “It only opens with the handprint of the person that lives there.”

Good, JJ won't be able to barge in and demand sleepovers. Forget the pets, this is truly the greatest accomplishment.

Yuri presses his palm flat to the pad and the door takes a second to slide open. The room is much nicer and larger than the one he used to have, even if the old one was for two. The bed is big enough to fit three people comfortably and covered by an animal print blanket. All this for one person. These people live in so much luxury. Other than that, the room is a mess. It somehow looks empty and crowded at the same time. Clean yet untidy, with empty spaces but a bunch of things piled on the same place. Not unexpected, his own room back home wasn't in a much better state. Can’t say Other-Yuri didn’t have good taste.

“Thanks for the help.”  Nikolai and Lilia both flinch at his cold tone, the door slides close on them with a light touch from his fingers. Lilia crowds his space, as for Nikolai, they’ve already had enough contact to last a lifetime.

Yuri helps Kenjirou into the bed and he falls asleep almost immediately. With only one bed, they’ll have to share it until they can ask supply for another one.

Now that he’s finally alone, he can start dealing with everything. What a tiring day. Nothing exciting better happen the rest of the month. 

Yuri starts to pick up the mess. The clothes have a good style. A lot of animal print, blacks, and yellows. Some jackets, the world seems to be overall colder around here. No more short shorts and tank tops, if only he could have brought them with him for the satisfaction of destroying them himself. This also means Victor can finally stop walking around naked; perhaps that friend of his will join in. Yuri stops that train of thought before he has to physically scratch it off his brain.

All the clothes are off the floor and in the closet in no time, a roommate will help make the room feel less empty. What is one person supposed to do with all this space for themselves?

When they ask Supply for a bed and new clothes for Kenjirou, Yuri will have to request some too. He can’t go around wearing someone else’s clothes. Even if that someone else is technically himself. This whole thing will take some getting used to, but not as much as if he had had someone to lose.

There are pictures on the bedside table and the walls, most of Nikolai and Other-Yuri. O-Yuri. Yuri-O. Yurio. He should take Yurio’s things to Nikolai, he’d want his grandson’s possessions. Must have been the reason he hovered around for so long.

Yuri takes a quick bath and struggles to not fall asleep in it, then gets under the covers. His mind free of worries.  
  


 

It’s a long, dreamless sleep and it could have been longer if it wasn't for Kenjirou staring intently at his profile, visible due to the faint light coming from the window above them. He couldn't wake him like a normal person; instead, he pressed himself so close he is breathing on Yuri’s cheek. Pretending to sleep is useless.

Yuri sighs, accepting his fate. “What is it?”

“Sorry if I woke you. I've never slept over at a friend’s before. Or had a friend.”

He wants to talk about his past. The moment Yuri has been waiting for since he learned his identity. Be natural, lead the conversation there and breathe. “You didn't have many friends in your time?” That’d be something they have in common.

“It was only my parents and me. There were few people left and it was dangerous to meet them.” Shit. Now he’s gone and made the kid sad, he won't want to keep talking.

“Well, we're here now. We can have a sleepover every day and you can meet all sorts of new people.”

Kenjirou gives him a quick hug. “Thank you. I wanted to find my mother and siblings, I hope they exist here. They were dead by the time I was born.”

“Yakov had more children?” It’s hard enough to think of someone liking him enough to have one, but more? Who is this woman?

“No, I’m his only child, but my mom had two kids before meeting him. Do you have any siblings?”

“No. I’m also an only child.” Now that the subject is where he wants, it’s time to strike. “I have you to thank for that, without your interference I would never have been born. Tell me, what did you save Grandpa from?”

Kenjirou laughs. “That's a funny story, too bad he made me promise not to tell anyone. He was a bit embarrassed by it and for a reason.”

What the fuck? He promised not to tell? And now he has to put up with his annoying ass for nothing in return? Is this really not hell?

All things considered, it could be worse. At least he isn't in bed with JJ. That would be a sign that it  _ is _ hell.

Yuri isn’t a complete asshole so he humors Kenjirou and talks to him for an eternity until they both fall asleep for what must be a week. When Victor picks them up for breakfast, he informs them it's only been two days and a half. It's time they check how Sara is doing.

With all the taking Kenjirou does. Yuri hasn't been able to think of Sara, or anything else, since that first day. It’s driving Yuri insane but every time he’s about to rip his head off with his teeth, the happy puppy face appears. It’s not so easy when he’s increasingly aware of his struggles in life. No details spared.

Breakfast is an event. Kenjirou has never had any of the food there. There wasn't a lot of food available in the original world, insect-eating was common. Every time he tastes something new, there’s the possibility that he will burst out crying. It’s both annoying and cute. No one else at the table enjoys it to that extent, having had decent food in the past. If they hadn't, he’d eat himself to death on all the deliciousness that’s served on that kitchen. There aren't even any rations, they can have as much as they can eat.

The experience gets soured by the burning at the back of his head. It’s him. Even without seeing him, his presence makes itself known when his eyes rest on Yuri. It doesn’t last long, gone a while by the time that they finish breakfast. Had it not been for Kenjirou’s non-stop blabbering, it would have been a quiet affair. The mood at the table all over the place, with Kenjirou in one extreme, JJ on the other, and Victor and Yuri falling somewhere in the middle.

By the end, they all agree the three of them will visit Sara while Kenjirou goes spend some time with Yakov and tries to find his family. Hopefully, he will, and then he can get to meet his brother, move rooms, and free Yuri.

After a night of trying to tune out Kenjirou’s incessant talking in vain, Lilia’s explanation that the four lights fused into two makes more sense.  It was enough time to come to terms with the fact that the Michele they grew up with is lost somewhere in time and never made it back. If they fix the machine, they’ll have a chance to rescue the rest of Group B. They just need to know exactly what went so wrong that only Sara made it back. It’s possible that their bracelets malfunctioned. They’re so lucky to have Nikolai and Yakov back, they can fix it in no time and teach one of them, to prevent what happened in their timeline to happen again.

For having a hospital section so big, it's a bit understaffed. There are no doctors and only a few nurses around. It’s almost deserted. They’re given directions to Sara’s room.

Lilia was right. Her brother hadn’t moved from her side since her arrival. The shock of another familiar face stops them cold in their tracks. It’s not unexpected for Michele to be there or even Aynur but it is for Yuri’s least favorite shorty. At this rate, he’ll have to ask someone for his name.

Yuri crosses his arms, trying not to jump on her for a hug. He never missed people so much when he went to the past, but the world he lived in for his entire life is gone. That’s not so easy to deal with. It’s possible that Yurio had no relationship with her at all, he couldn’t go around pulling people into hugs and scaring them.

No one talks. Sara rests on the bed, the injuries on her upper body on full display. Her nose is broken, there are cuts and bruises on her face and arms, and her hair, while clean, looks like someone tried to burn it off. Some of that is definitely from the punch on that first night, the other damage had been there already. Was she attacked or suffering the consequences of an overly violent Leap? The damage on the bracelet indicates the latter. If Leaping with a functioning one is painful, doing it with a broken one could have killed her.

She is awake, holding on to Michele’s hand. She looks at them and tries to talk but only pained noises make it out.

Michele glares at them. Aynur walks everyone besides him outside and closes the door, they can’t see inside. 

“There’s a shortage of doctors, they were all called to the field a few months back, along with nurses and the medically trained people. They haven’t returned. We try to keep this place running but we’re in over our heads. We are bringing a Dr. from out of the Zone, not the legal way. They sent notice they passed the border but he got lost during the storms last week and we lost contact with him. We’ve been sending people to search but we haven’t had any luck yet. Until then, we can’t do much, Sara can’t talk to you, sorry.”

The three of them nod and go back the way they came from. That didn’t go at all the way they expected. It all rests on whether or not that Dr. makes it back.    
  


 

* * *

  
  
“Any reason you forced your way into our room?” 

“Did you miss rooming with me so much?” Victor jumps on the bed next to Yuri and hugs him.

He struggles to get off the hug and falls off the bed in the process. This room is about the same size as his, but with two beds instead of one. Kenjirou kept Yuri from requesting a new one brought to their room, arguing he had no problem at all sharing. Makkachin comes over right away to lick at his face. Easily excitable and annoying, just what he’s running away from.

“Kenjirou won’t leave me alone, I need a rest if I want to keep from yelling at him during the night.” Yuri scratches Makkachin behind the ears, he lays his head on his chest. With his other hand, Yuri scratches at his back.

“The Original Traveler? You don’t know how to make friends, Yuri, that boy is cute. You should take advantage that he’s interested in being your friend before he learns better and tires of your grumpiness,” Chris says.

He came here for a rest, not to get attacked. “Whatever, I just need some me time. Can’t even hear myself think with him around.”

“Hm.” Victor pokes his head from the edge of the bed. “Have you tried redirecting his attention somewhere else?”

Yuri tried to encourage him on the search for his family during their 'sleepover talks.' Kenjirou found his mom with her first husband, along with his brother and sister but didn’t dare talk to them. He hadn’t said it out loud but he fears he wouldn’t be accepted by them. Accepting someone that comes out of thin air and claims to be a family member isn’t something many are prepared or willing to do. There is no guarantee he won’t be horribly rejected, but Yuri is losing his ability to think straight when Kenjirou is around and needs a rest. If it’s a choice between his well being and Yuri’s then he’ll have no qualms throwing him under the bus.

Now that that’s solved, onto the next thing that plagues his mind.

“Hey Chris, there’s this guy I keep bumping into everywhere. Short, with an undercut and a very intense stare. You know his name?”

Chris stops folding his clothes to look at Yuri, holding a smile. “Otabek Altin. Not very friendly but you shouldn’t let that stop you from trying. You could get a surprise and find a good friend. Won’t have the problem you’re having with Kenjirou, he doesn’t talk much.”

That name is familiar but from where? He’d remember meeting him in the past, Otabek is not the type of person one forgets, and there were few people then. Not like on this stupid Donut.

When he is well-rested, Yuri stands to go, waking up the dog. At the door, Victor gives him a little bag and tells him to throw Makkachin a treat before he leaves. He picks one out of it and almost gets his hand eaten. Makkachin bit it right off his fingers and now jumps on him asking for more. Chris and Victor laugh, he throws the bag at Chris’ face and leaves. Idiots.

 

 

Yuri takes one whole day to put his plan into action. Through a combination of asking Yakov, searching through Kenjirou’s things and following him, he finds the room one of his siblings lives in. This is unforgivable and unlike him but he needs a fucking rest, at this rate, he’ll be biting the head off a poor, friendless kid before the week is over. Why did he volunteer for this? If only he could use time travel to warn himself of the nightmare it would become.

He knocks on room #113, not far from Victor’s, and the last person he expected opens it. It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did, considering all the people he’s seen so far. Yuri’s stomach turns. Oh, how he must have despaired when his bracelet brought him back to them. 

“Look at you, you fucking pig. You let yourself go since you wouldn't be working anymore? Did you think I wouldn't recognize you? That we wouldn't find you?” Yuri kicks him away and walks into the room. “I'm surprised you didn't run away with your tail between your legs as soon as you found out we were here.”

Katsuki backs away from him, his belly wiggling all the way. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

Yuri screams, Katsuki raises his arms to protect himself. There, on his wrists, Yuri grabs them and they start to struggle. He might have gotten fat but the bastard is still strong. Hands, many hands on his arms, try to pull him back. People talk loudly in his ear, they want to take Katsuki away from him but he needs to see his wrist. Why is it so bare? It shouldn't be bare, he should be wearing a bracelet. It should have kept him safe through the Ripple like it did the rest of them. Is he hiding it? What is he playing at?

“...go of him Yuri, it's not him.” The person easing his hands keeps repeating it in his ear. “Let go of him.”

He does. Katsuki is crying and breathing hard. His hair is a mess, his glasses on an odd angle and his shirt halfway up his stomach. Phichit hugs him. They must be roommates in this world.

Victor, Chris, and Kenjirou are in the room too, all holding Yuri back. Their breath heavy, sweat on their foreheads. How long was the struggle? When did they get here? Did they know? Was he the only idiot that didn't?

“Get out.” Katsuki isn’t crying anymore, bruises are forming on his wrists. “Don't come near me, any of you.”

Before he reacts, Yuri is out of the room with the door sliding on his face.

“He is dead, isn't he?” He has to be. “You think he went away to...to…”

Victor hugs him. “Go rest Yuri.”

“I'll go to the rose garden.” Kenjirou hurries, his trembling voice gives away what he really plans to do.

Not only did Yuri just find out about the death of someone close, he also assaulted an innocent person and ruined another's chance to connect with their family. He doesn't want to be in his own presence either. Lucky them, free to be far from him. He’d best retire to his room, alone, where he can't hurt people.

Yuri nods and walks as fast as he can to his room. Time alone is what he wanted and time alone is what he got.

His room is still a pigsty. The plan he had on the first day, of packing everything to return it to Nikolai, was thrown out the window the next day. All the clothes were on the floor again within the week, Yuri only lifted them to wear them during the day. Now that he has nothing to distract him, he should really get to it.

What better way to know the state of Yurio’s life than by cleaning his room. So far no one has come forward to talk to him like they did Victor and JJ. If it wasn't for the belongings, he’d doubt his existence in this world.  If he’s lucky he might find some dirt.

They all fit in the closet, taking less than half the space, he’s been lending them to Kenjirou since Supply is taking long. Nothing interesting so far.

Yuri is deep in cleaning the mess of shoes, dirty socks, hair ties, and other crap Yurio had under the bed when he comes across a box. Ah, the good old memory boxes. What did you save in here Yurio? Some embarrassing pictures? A diary with all the sordid little secrets? Money? Dirty notes or magazines? Unsent letters to a secret childhood crush? Kindergarten projects?

Nothing. Only a black box small enough to fit in his hand and a thin black collar. How boring. Maybe Yurio had a fetish? Ew, enough of that. He puts it back in the larger box and kicks it back under the bed.

During the rest of the day, he finds official documents at the bottom of the underwear drawer, like his Birth Certificate and ID. Some money inside a rolled up sock, then some more on a wallet that he found sticking his hand under the furniture. It’s dusty and could have fallen under there years ago. Worth risking his hand getting mangled by some rabid animal.

Yurio had a boring life. There was nothing going on in it from what he could tell, much like Yuri himself. This whole event could have been the most exciting thing to ever happen to him and he wasn't even here to enjoy it. The only interesting thing he finds is hidden junk food. Candy for dinner, some things never change. Though it isn't as exciting when it’s not forbidden.

In under two hours, he cleans everything. If Nikolai wants something he can come to pack it himself. The weight on his stomach remains. The room is too cold without the human sunshine hovering every second. Too silent. He lays on the bed and waits, but he doesn't come back. Yuri falls asleep waiting.

  
  


Breakfast doesn't go well, no one magically forgets he assaulted Katsuki and got them on his shit list.

Kenjirou is as quiet as when they met, not a good sign considering he was half dead then. Meanwhile, the others won't stop judging him with their eyes. Even JJ, who hadn't been there at all,  does it. No doubt he got all the details from Victor and Chris. Ugh, there’s no need to guilt-trip him, he needs to fix it and he already has a plan but he needs to get close to Katsuki to do it.

“Yesterday, Mom told me how to use the Memory Box.” JJ being thoughtful happens too often lately. A possible sign of the end of the world.

A quick glance around the table is enough to confirm Kenjirou has no idea what JJ is talking about either but Victor and Chris are in the know. The advantages of having friends and family.

“There were a lot of things in there. The break up with Isabella among them. I uploaded some of mine from home and even showed them to my family. So I could experience them again, I was thinking maybe you wanted to share some of yours? I heard it’s sometimes done after someone dies.”

Shit. Why did he mention it? It was an unspoken agreement no one would mention it.

“You’re not making much sense.” Yuri stabs his pancake and shoves a large piece into his mouth.

JJ makes a face. “Oh, you haven’t seen your grandpa yet?”

“He’s not my grandpa. What does Nikolai have to do with this?” He makes extra sure to open his mouth wide while talking so that JJ can see the inside of it. That's what he gets for bringing up things no one wants to talk about, asshole.

“Mom says everyone here has one, I thought maybe he taught you how to use old Yuri’s.” He turns to Kenjirou. “I guess you and Yakov wouldn’t know either. It’s this box.” He takes something out of his pocket and puts it on the table. It’s like the one he found under Yurio’s bed. “You put on this collar here.” JJ holds it out, Kenjirou takes it and puts it around his neck. “With that, you choose the memory you want—I have my wedding there as the first one if you want to see.”

As soon as he puts it on, Kenjirou’s eyes glaze over like he sees something far away, in another plane. It responds to his thoughts, according to JJ, so he needs to make no movements. It’s creepy and funny at the same time. With the horror of yesterday forgotten, a small, sweet smile makes its way to his lips. He then comes back to reality and returns the collar to JJ.

“That was beautiful. It’s my first time seeing a wedding.”

“I know.” JJ’s smile is sad. Everyone is so fucking sad lately. “It gave me a better understanding of what has been going on in this world. In this JJ’s life.”

“I found one of those yesterday while cleaning Yurio’s room. Maybe I should check it out.” Yuri can't even hear himself say that last part, the crashing dishes drown any other sound around them.

It happened right behind him.

Otabek Altin, he must have been so deep in the conversation he didn't notice his staring. And some staring it is. Now with a bonus of knit brows and double the intensity from the last time they ran into each other, which happens more than he would like for it to be a coincidence. It’s starting to get old. All the gawking at Yuri like he didn’t just make a giant disaster in the middle of the cafeteria and needs to clean it up.

What is his problem? Did Yurio owe him money? A mortal rivalry? Is he allergic to stating his intentions? Just say it, whatever it is.

Otabek turns around, his body stiff, and walks out of there as fast as his little legs can take him.

Like that is going to save him. “Clean after yourself, asshole,” Yuri yells and turns back to his table to find the eyes of everyone on him. Oh, right, he physically assaulted someone recently. He should tone the yelling down until it’s all fixed. “What are you looking at? Eat your damn food.”

Getting hold of Katsuki is much more difficult than the first time. People keep coming in his way. First Phichit, then a couple of women, and even some triplets. They all must have been warned about what happened and are trying to keep all Travelers away from him. That isn’t going to stop Yuri, he only needs to step up his game.

Get him in the baths, no one expects a confrontation in the baths. 

Is it less intimidating to corner someone when wet and almost naked or more? Yuri might have miscalculated this one because Katsuki is trembling like a pig that knows it's about to become dinner. He’d probably shit his pants right now if he was wearing any.

“I want to apologize about yesterday and have a talk if you’d like.”

Katsuki stops trembling and stands a bit straighter. Confusion spelled across his face. Little piggy wasn’t expecting that.

It’s easier after that, Yuri is very careful not to say anything overly offensive as he explains why he came knocking on his door, and why he lost his shit like that when he saw him.

“I was a Traveler and we were friends.” He keeps repeating slowly.

“I take it you and Yurio didn’t talk much?”

Katsuki shakes his head. “I wanted to be a Traveler but never made the cut because, well…” He makes a waving motion to his body. “I don’t think you or the others in the program ever noticed me.”

Katsuki was a fundamental part of the team, they wouldn't have made it those first few years without him. A team composed of Victor, JJ, and Yuri sounds like a recipe for insanity. Funny it’s the one they ended up with, but they don’t have to be close as they were during the travels or training.

“What do you say about meeting with Kenjirou.” Before Katsuki can protest, Yuri adds, “Not asking you to take him in and treat him like a brother right now. Just maybe convince your family to meet him. Get to know him?”

“I don’t know.” To his credit, Katsuki is in middle of a battle with himself. Bless his ridiculously expressive face. “I might not be what he wants. And I know you say he is my brother but he doesn’t feel like it. I’ll ask my mom and sister if they want to.”

Fine, here goes the last try, please work. “Let’s make a deal. The machine might get repaired soon. Some of our people are still in the past, we can’t leave them there. If you agree to have a few talks with him or at least try, I will train you to become the Traveler you always wanted to be. I know it'll work, you already did it once.”

Katsuki stays in silence long, far too long. “Deal. But don’t treat me like I’m him. W-we’re different people.” He looks down at his hands.

Yuri lets out the breath he’d been holding since he made the offer, Katsuki took so long he thought he was gonna pass out before he heard the answer. He buries his face in his hands. He did it, he fixed his fuck up without making anything worse happen. This calls for a celebration.

After the bath, the two go to dinner. Katsuki introduces him to a delicious dish called katsudon. Forget about the pets and JJ-blocking doors, the conservation of what makes this dish possible is truly their greatest accomplishment. It’s so enjoyable Yuri almost doesn’t notice the looks other people throw in their direction. They must make a strange sight.

Since Katsuki doesn't want to feel like he only sees his old friend when they’re together, and waxed poetry about the food, Yuri will call him Katsudon from now on. He isn’t happy about it but agrees in the end.

The next day at breakfast, he introduces Katsudon and Kenjirou before making a quick excuse to leave them alone. Yuri will sure hear every detail of what happened that night, once Kenjirou is back to his usual self.

He goes to his room to better enjoy his last moments of solitude and freedom. Everything is clean and there is nothing much to do but enjoy whatever peaceful moment he has.

What would someone with a boring life like Yurio save in his Memory Box? Is there anything there? This is as good a moment as any to satisfy his curiosity before Kenjirou makes it back and wants to see too, then Yuri would be forced to share what a lame person was in another timeline.

Yuri gets off the bed in one quick jump and pulls the box from under the bed. He puts on the collar, nothing happens besides making his neck look fantastic. Enough of admiring himself in the mirror, what is wrong with it? Is it a normal collar after all?

Or he might need to turn it on. Yuri rolls his eyes at himself. He holds his two fingertips for three seconds on the surface of the box just like JJ told him. The change is instant. His vision of the room is obscured, in front of his eyes, he can only see a dark menu with bright letters.

There are five numbered options to choose from:

  1. Grandpa
  2. Otabek
  3. Mom
  4. Shared
  5. Others



Alright, his mortal enemies theory is gaining steam. Otabek was a big enough presence in his life to get a number over Mom. Not that that would be much of a feat, considering he hadn't seen her at all so far. A shit mother must be a shit mother in any timeline.

A memory with Nikolai in it is of no interest to him. The discomfort it brings to his stomach is a sign, too much of his face might make him sick.

The ‘Otabek’ option will have to wait for later. It will either be boring or he will be too interested and stay there all day. There is a chance it’s Yurio documenting a man stalking him and trying to drill a hole in his skull with his eyes.

He goes into the ‘Others’ tab to later make his way up to number two. Once he picks that option it slides to the top and the others disappear.

There isn’t much to see on this one. By the side is a small image of what the memory must contain, nothing that calls his interest. Lilia is in a lot of them but if she isn’t important enough to get her own number then why bother? Yakov is in a few, and Victor in some others. Different versions of people he actually knows are too creepy to watch right now.

The good stuff ends up being in ‘Shared’. Cats, all the cats. Yurio wasn’t so bad, he knew about the good stuff in life. There’s what has to be hundreds of shared memories from others about petting and playing with them, and a few disturbing ones about people attacked by large cats. Yuri stays away from those, the sensation of those teeth ripping into him is hard to get away from and keeps to the petting and playing.

Experiencing someone else’s memory is weird. It doesn’t only involve the sense of sight, he can feel the kitty’s soft fur in his fingers, the little bites with its cute, sharp little teeth. He needs to stop claiming something as the greatest accomplishment because this world keeps on proving him wrong.

Yuri can even smell the kitty when the person in the memory buries their face on the fur and hear it’s cute little sounds. It’s the most adorable thing he has ever experienced, but he can’t make changes, it’s nothing but a memory after all. The exact actions this person took are the only options every time, they repeat in an endless loop yet don’t get old. Not even when he has seen over hundreds of cute kitten memories. Soon he has favorites he keeps revisiting. The most wonderful thing in the world. Why would people ever spend time doing anything else? No wonder Yurio had nothing going on, it’s amazing anyone ever manages to get out of their room when they can spend the day experiencing the purest of loves.

During the quick pee break, Yuri looks at the clock. It's been hours since he started, he should leave those for later and go back to snooping.

Yuri opens the ‘Otabek’ tab, there better be some good dirt in there. There are more memories than expected, then again if there weren’t he would be under ‘Others’. The memories go back for years and are in order of most experienced. Fuck chronology until he gets a better hold of how to use it. The timestamp varies for at least ten years.

There is one near the top, from five years ago or so. The thumbnail doesn't show much but it’s named ‘confession’. Just what he’d been searching for. What are they confessing? A crime? If so, of what sort? Finally some good shit on this thing. The mystery of what Otabek’s fucking problem with him is is about to be resolved.

It’s very different from the kittens, his body is more agitated. He walks at a fast pace, heart in his ears, and his jaw hurts. Yurio must have been clenching it for a while now.

It doesn't take long to adjust. A man in an old jacket walks a few steps in front of him, out of reach. He is tall, with a broad back and somewhat familiar.

The first time they were face to face, Yuri towered over Otabek. It’s a little disorienting to follow him in his fifteen-year-old body. He grabs his arm, turns him around and slams him to a wall.

Is he about to watch Yurio bully Otabek? He didn't take himself as a bully in any timeline, then again, Otabek looked pretty scared when he thought he hurt Yuri that first day. And he’s the stoic type. A tingle of pain remains on his hand from their meeting. He’s strong and can defend himself, what can he do to him? He dropped a bunch of plates when they talked about the box, is he scared Yuri will find out about their past and continue? After the scene with Katsudon, it’s possible. If so, why call attention to himself everywhere?

Yurio grabs him by the collar of the jacket. His fingers ache from the strength of the grip, his whole body trembles.

Otabek sure looks huge from the perspective of his teenage body. He could wrap his hands around that thick neck and not touch his own fingers. For the sake of his still aching hand, that fuck better not punch him. This memory is too real. He already has enough with the pain from his poor choices to deal with Yurio’s five-year-old ones.

Otabek tries to free himself but Yurio shoves him harder against the wall. It’s like his incapacity to look him in the eye angers Yurio. Is this why he won’t stop looking at him now? He thinks if he doesn’t, Yuri will lose his shit and attack him? Yurio sure did a number on him.

“I’m sick and tired of your games. I’m not putting up with this shit anymore so tell me what you want now or leave me alone for good.” Yurio sounds like he ate hell for breakfast and is now letting it out through his mouth.

Otabek still avoids his eyes at all costs, trying to free himself in vain. Whatever this fight is about, it terrifies him, his eyes even get watery, not that Yurio notices or cares. Many, many hours will be needed with the kitties after this.

Otabek looks at Yurio, opens his mouth and the world jerks. A horrible, shrill noise pierces Yuri's ear. After a few seconds, it stops, then starts again.

Yuri tears off the collar and quickly turns the box off, he puts it away and leaves his room. There are people in the hallway already, moving towards the stairs. Some calm, some in more of a hurry, pushing and shoving others out of their way.

Smoke fills the hall, coming from the other end. His throat burns and he coughs, putting a hand over his nose and mouth. The crowd pushes him outside, sandwiched between a group of older people.

“What’s happening?” Yuri shouts, his words a bit muffled.

Someone actually answers his question. “There was an explosion and the hall is on fire.”

An explosion? A fire? How bad is it? How far along the hall? Do they have firemen here or is the whole building gonna burn down? Once outside, Yuri sits on a bench at the flower garden with a kid and his grandma. Around him, people different states of dress talk to each other. There is even a man wrapped in a shower curtain, hair still a little wet. A disgusting couple near them hugs and kisses like their life depends on it.

“It shouldn’t take long, they said it was a small explosion in an empty closet or something. They stopped the fire pretty quickly so there wasn’t a lot of damage.”

Yuri tunes the chatter out. That’s all? They interrupt his research time for this? He rolls his eyes. It’s contained and not serious, time to stop standing around like idiots and go inside. This is all so unnecessary.

Once everyone is out of the dorms, about one-quarter of the residents stand outside, they’re out of benches. Before he can set the example and walk back in, the door shuts and a woman with a staff uniform starts talking about fire safety and giving tips. No one is allowed inside until she's done trying to bore them to death.

After an hour that somehow lasts three days and nights, he goes back to his room, ready to finish that memory.

The box isn’t under the bed, it isn’t anywhere. Kenjirou is the only other person programmed into his room, they had it done soon after agreeing to share, but he’s never done anything like this. Something so out of character with such timing, it can’t be him. It has to be someone else. It has to be _ him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	4. The Beat I Drum

He is the one. It couldn't have been anyone else. Always looking at him, waiting for a chance. Unlike him, Yuri is good at hiding his stalking.

Oh, he knows things about him. Otabek Altin: twenty-three years-old, currently sharing room #307 with Mila, born October 31st, Scorpio, working security, and little to no social media activity. Damn, the locals don't hold their tongue with the gossip and yet it was so hard to find stuff on him.

They gave him the stink eye when he asked yet still spilled all the info they had on him. It wasn't much, he’s a very private man. Not liked much by the people, that much is clear. Some couldn't even bear to hear his name. Most just told him it's better to stay away from him. Walking around with the minimum required expression didn’t make him a popular guy. 

The dislike is mutual, he also seems to avoid most people. Chris was right, he’s not the friendly type.  Who would have thought Aynur was his mother? Their looks and personality are too different. Must have taken after his father, she’s always been too nice and sweet for a son like this.

To think he’d go as far as to commit arson, endanger the lives of others to distract him and sneak into his room. Truly despicable, the lowest. Yuri can’t go accusing people without any proof, which is in his room or person. That box he stole from him, that’ll be enough to get at least Victor and JJ on his side. The rest he can work on later.

There’s only the problem of getting that door to open for him. If it works like his own, then only Mila and Otabek can do it. The options now are: find a way to break in or get invited inside.

“Are you okay? You’ve been distracted lately.” Katsudon lays on the ground, sweating like the pig he is and will stop being soon.

“Just thinking about the fire.” Yuri sits next to Katsudon, leaning back on his hands, facing the sky as he catches his breath.

“Oh, I heard the security cameras didn't catch who it was. You shouldn't be scared, it was probably a teenager, you know how they are, I'm sure it was an accident and they panicked. The council cleared everyone living here personally, it's safer than outside.”

“I’m not scared.” So Katsudon thought it was an accident too. “Do you know Otabek Altin?”

“We were together in the Traveler Program a few years back but we didn’t talk much.” Katsudon removes his glasses to clean off the fog. He shouldn’t exercise with them if he is going to be fixing and cleaning them every five minutes.

“What kind of guy was he?”

“Um, quiet and hard-working.”

Fucking Katsudon, hasn’t he ever heard of shit talking someone behind their back? Hard working and quiet don't point to ‘uses arson as a distraction to steal’. It's better that piggy prepares his ass, if he thinks today was bad, he is in for a world of pain tomorrow.

If he does nothing, everyone will chalk up the fire to rowdy teenagers and Otabek will get away with everything. They’ll be living with an arsonist and a thief without knowing it. Yuri isn’t going to allow any of it, he’ll get close and pull his mask off when he least expects it.

Operation: Get Invited Into Otabek Altin’s Room is a go.

Step one: befriend him

Step one: find out how to make friends.

Step two: befriend him.

  
  


Chris is a popular guy, he’s always surrounded by people and everyone enjoys his company. If anyone has good advice on making friends, it’s him. It was his idea too, that he try and be friendly with Otabek, Yuri can tell him he thought about it and decided to listen. By this time tomorrow, Otabek will be eating from the palm of his hand, like Chris and his friends.

All he has to do is bring himself to ask. It’d be easier if Victor wasn’t here but the two of them are close, maybe he can be of use and offer some insight.

“H-how do you befriend someone?” There, it’s out and it wasn’t even hard.

Victor and Chris both stop bathing Makkachin to look at him, then at each other. Yuri doesn’t like the look they share but he can’t pinpoint why.

“Is that why you crammed yourself into the bathroom with us and won’t leave no matter how much we ask you to?”

Yuri kicks Victor’s back and he almost falls into the tub with the dog. He gets hit with the toilet scrub on the leg for that. Gross.

“You’ve come to the right place. The first thing you need to know about friendships is that eye contact is very important.” Chris dries his hands on a towel and sits on the floor, looking up at Yuri sitting on the toilet seat.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” That’s basically all they’ve been doing for days.

“Good, good. You need to make it clear that you’re interested in spending time together. Maybe invite him somewhere, give him attention. Don’t make your friend feel like they aren't important or they're imposing their company on you.”

Victor drains the tub and pats Makkachin with the towel. “Don’t forget to touch him too. Like a hug goodbye.”

Chris nods enthusiastically. “A sign of a good friendship is always how comfortable you are kissing each other.”

Yuri’s eyes widen, he recoils, his back hitting the tank.

“On the cheeks, we mean.” Victor hurries to say.

“And the hands, wherever you’re comfortable really.”

That doesn’t sound like any friendship he’s ever seen.

“Here let me show you.” Victor holds his arms open to Yuri.

“No thanks. I’ll leave now, it’s too crowded in here.” He makes his way past the three of them, avoiding Victor’s arms and the half wet dog somehow. Those two are so full of shit and taking him for an idiot. He might not have many friends but he knows not all of them do that… do they? Chris did kiss one of his friends the other day and there was even some butt grabbing.

His social knowledge _ is _ pretty lacking, he should at least consider what Chris said and not throw it all out as garbage advice.

When he leaves the room, a loud thud and muffled shouts coming from the stairs call to him. Yuri was never one to turn down free drama so he goes to snoop some more.

Mila and Otabek are in the middle of a confrontation with a third person. Mila has the man pushed face first against the wall, his arms behind his back in a painful position. They talk over each other, their faces red and contorted. Otabek notices Yuri first, he taps Mila’s shoulder and she lets go after a glance.

They might not be hurting him physically anymore but the guy could drop dead any second from the strength of their killer glares. The man goes to stand behind Yuri, using him as a shield. Otabek looks at Yuri and away, then back again, shifting his weight around until Mila drags him away.

“I heard you’ve been asking about them. You should stay away, they only bring misery wherever they go.” He leaves without giving any details. Dipshit.

What did he just interrupt?

  
  


Over the next few days, Yuri tries to approach Otabek several times. In the cafeteria and when they run into each other during the day. Somehow, Mila always finds them not five seconds into their conversation—if it can be called that—and pulls Otabek away from him. Her built-in radar is never wrong and always on time.

Thanks to Mila’s interference, he steps up his stalking and discovers that the strange scene he stumbled into isn't so strange after all. It’s common, very common. About once every two days common. Always the same guy, it always stops when they notice him, and they always leave without a word.

They aren’t out of control and abusing their power everywhere, only with one specific person.

Was he in association with them but had a change of heart and decided to leave the organization to live a life of virtue? Probably not but no one can stop Yuri from fantasizing about it.

The truth will come only once Otabek invites him into his room and he finds the proof he needs. For that, befriending him is a must. That much is doable but Mila has to be out of the way first.

  
  


It’s embarrassing how long it took Yuri to come up with a plan considering how simple it is. It’d been staring him in the face almost as obviously as Otabek.

It’s all thanks to Kenjirou and his need to share every detail of his life before sleep.

“I had dinner with the Katsukis again today. Dad joined us this time, they’re taking it better than I expected. Yuuri is still a bit distant but we are making progress. We are going to see a movie together this weekend. I would really feel much better if you went. Separate from us, of course, but as support in case I need something. JJ already agreed.”

Can he get out of it if he pretended to sleep? Movie night with JJ spying on not-Mila-and-Otabek from a distance doesn't sound like a good way to spend the night.

Kenjirou flings himself over the pillow barrier that separates them and hugs Yuri tight, chanting “please please please.” How do you say no to the kid without breaking that sunshine smile? This should be illegal. If he was any other person there’d be no problem, but he has to be from such a pitiful and lonely world. Fucking hell.

“Fine, I’ll go and be with JJ in case you need something. Now let me sleep.”

  
  


Movie night isn't going as bad as it could have and Yuri can't even enjoy it. It’s unnatural for JJ to be so quiet. He keeps throwing glances at Isabella and her boyfriend. She is feeding him, kissing him and being overall a very gross couple. It happened often back home but it involved JJ at the time. Under any other circumstances, he’d have some fun with it but a fist to the face and a broken nose is not something he craves at the moment.

Ignoring JJ and concentrating on the movie is the best option. It’s a reboot of some old superhero movie. Yuri never saw the original one but there were many ads for it one of the years he spent in the past. There are excited kids and then there is Kenjirou, who, being from a destroyed world that didn't have a movie industry anymore, is over the moon. They’re too far away to tell for certain but the Katsukis seem to find it adorable.

“I’d make a better superhero than that. He has no style,” JJ says for the tenth time since the movie began. He then launches into a vague explanation of what he'd do to save the world, and how the work they’d done isn't much different from what is going on on-screen but his voice is so empty that it isn't even annoying. It’s just sad, he’s only doing it because it’s what's expected of him.

To put them both out of their misery, Yuri grabs one of the pillows he lays on and smacks JJ’s head lightly. “I want to listen to the movie. Tell me tomorrow during breakfast.” There, now they both played their part and can pretend all is normal.

If JJ refused to come he’d be sitting with Victor, Chris, and Makkachin enjoying all their junk food and spying on Otabek and Mila, who sit far from them but in a better line of sight. He’d be plotting their downfall right now, instead of listening to JJ’s pathetic ramblings.

Yuri gasps and sits straight. It’s happening, tonight they will have their conversation and Mila will not interrupt. “I have to pee, I’ll bring you back a drink.”

He is halfway to Victor’s spot when Nikolai comes out of nowhere and plants himself firmly in front of him, making them almost crash.

“Yu—"

“I'm busy right now,” Yuri snarls, going around him and back on track on the amazing plan.

He’s stopped three more times before he can make it to Victor’s blanket. Two women and one man around his age all invite him to watch the movie with them. They weren't friends of Yurio and much less of Yuri so they get a nice “fuck off" each. They’ll never approach him again after that if they have any self-respect left. Everyone wants to get close to the poor Traveler, all alone in the world. Well, they can all shove their pity up their ass.

Even with the fast pace, it still takes him twice as long as it should have. If he’d minded the other people and taken the care to not walk over their blankets and pillows, it would have taken even longer.

Makkachin starts going wild when Yuri gets near, so Victor and Chris aren’t surprised to see him there, but are at his request to take Makkachin for a walk.

“Don’t you want to watch the movie?” Chris hands him the leash but doesn’t let go of it.

“I’m here with JJ and about to commit murder. I need a distraction.”

“Bring him back before the movie is over,” Victor says and Chris lets go of the leash.

Yuri nods, if the plan goes well, Makkachin will be back before then. If they ever trust him with the dog again is another issue entirely.

He leads Makkachin in a leisure walk towards the flower garden. Once there he let go of the leash, the dog roams free while he searches for a hose. It doesn’t take him long to find one and turn the water on. Makkachin stays away while it’s in use, when he’s had enough and turns it off, he comes to play right away.

Yuri does very little to encourage him to roll around until he becomes a big, muddy mess. “That’s it, good boy, good boy. Roll around in it.”

He takes out a treat from the little bag he bought days ago in a failed attempt to train the dog to pee on Victor’s bed. This plan will be different, this one will work.

Yuri keeps the dog at a distance while leading him back to the edge of the garden and with some effort, climbs a tool storage cabinet.

“Here boy.” Yuri dangles another treat, Makkachin jumps and scratches the cabinet but can’t get to it. “There’ll be more of these once it’s all over.” He throws it.

Yuri throws several of them, just in case. One of them falls short but distracts Makkachin enough to let him throw another one, this time closer. The dog immediately runs after it too. The third one hits the target. Mila grabs at her head and looks sideways in time to see the big, dirty dog jump on her.

She screams, all heads turn in her direction. It’s horrible. Hopefully, it looks worse than it is. The nearby people jump away while Otabek tries to take the dog off her. The screaming gets louder as the spectators join.

Victor and Chris get there as fast as they can, fighting their way through the crowd to help bring Makkachin under control. If Mila is as resistant as she is strong then she won’t be hurt at all, so it’s a waste for Yuri to feel any guilt. Besides, if it hadn’t been for her unreasonable insistence on not letting him near Otabek, none of this would have happened. So really, this is all her doing in a way.

After an eternity on what has to be a stupid, pointless argument with Mila, Otabek removes his jacket and hands it to her. Victor and Chris walk with her past the garden and into the dorms. Yuri barely has any time to hide properly in the shed’s shadow. She scratches Makkachin’s head as they walk. Another reason to not feel guilt, he helped them make new friends.

Careful not to call attention to himself, Yuri half-runs towards Otabek. He lays on his belly, his chin on his arms propped up on a pillow, and surrounded by more pillows and some food. It looks comfortable, so he lays down next to him in the same position. Otabek is so into the movie that his presence isn’t noticed.

“That was fast.”

“Hm, here I thought it was taking a little too long.”

Otabek’s reaction to his voice is the funniest thing, and that includes Mila with the dog a few minutes ago. He gives a little jump, stares at Yuri with eyes wide open and something that can pass for a blush on his nose and cheeks. Cute, _ for an arsonist and thief. _

Yuri smiles and gets closer. It starts now. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now. I’m Yuri.”

“I know. I’m Otabek.”

“I know.” Those are words and tone of voice he didn’t intend to use. Fuck. It doesn’t give him away or cause his plan to fall apart, but Otabek’s face darkens a little bit. He clears his throat and wills away the blush trying to take over his face.

It’s too hard to talk when they’re still locking eyes. Yuri looks down and plays with the grass by the edge of the blanket, his heart beating wildly. Fuck, this isn’t as easy as planned, what was that advice… time together. Tell them you want to spend time together.

“I've been here a while now and I still don't know the area. Do you want to take me somewhere tomorrow?” Boom. Direct and clear. Catch him with his guard down. He’ll agree before he knows what hit him and then Yuri is free to go drown his screams in a pillow.

“Why? Giacometti has been showing Nikiforov around, I'm sure they’d let you join.” Otabek has gained control of his face and gives nothing away. Is it a real question or is he trying to get out of it?

“I don't want Chris and Victor to show me around, I want you.” If making it clear isn’t working, what will? The garbage advice is useless so, what is it that works on him? What makes him do things he doesn’t want for other people? What brought him here tonight in the first place? Time to cause some pity, only a monster can say no to a kid from a destroyed world. It’s plain evil.

He looks down and tucks his hair behind his ear so he can give a better view of his face. Yuri makes his best kicked puppy impression, with the large eyes and the light pout. “Don't you want to show me around?”

Otabek is taking too long to answer, did he not make his eyes teary enough? Observing Kenjirou closer from now on will help him perfect it quick. Yuri didn't want to look until he started promising he’d take him everywhere he wants but it's taking too long. If that fucker is ignoring him for the movie then nothing on this earth will protect him. He looks up ready to rips his head off to find him still looking at him. His face stoic but his eyes chill Yuri to his core.

Otabek’s head gives a little jerk, he clears his throat, his eyes moving away from Yuri to the screen. “I can't tomorrow. Mila and I have work to do in the city. Don't know when I’ll be free. Sorry.”

All that planning, all that work for nothing. To get some bullshit excuse. Fucking Mila in the way even when he’s gotten rid of her.

“Idiot!” Yuri hits Otabek hard in the face with one of the pillows and stalks off back to a sleeping JJ.

He is lying, he is fucking lying.

“Was that your new friend Yuri?” JJ rubs the sleep off his eyes. Not even completely awake and still being an asshole, incredible.

“Shut up!”

“I’d say I feel you but it’d be a lie, King JJ has never been rejected.” JJ winks at him. Fucking winks at him.

Yuri kicks him, gets up and leaves. Kenjirou doesn’t need him here anymore, he is having such a great time with his family he won’t notice.

He'll finish the stupid movie some other time.


	5. My Own

He blew it, he fucking blew it last night. Should have salvaged the situation but instead, he lost his shit on Otabek, hit, and insulted him. Now they’ll never get to be friends. After so much work, it’s all his fault. Can’t even blame Mila on this one. Now everyone that saw them will think Yuri is a violent bully, that he can’t handle rejection and won’t believe a word he says when he accuses Otabek of the explosion.

Not only that, if Otabek is involved in dirty business, he’ll think Yuri too impulsive and untrustworthy, he’ll never let him in on the secret. At this rate, the inside of Otabek Altin’s room, where his Memory Box is, will remain a distant dream. He’ll never know what happened in Yurio’s memories and why Otabek is going so far to keep them hidden. When will he learn to control his temper?

If all that wasn’t enough, he’s also in deep shit with Lilia. When he left his room she was already waiting for him outside. Yuri would prefer to get his skin turned inside out than face her first thing in the morning like that again. It had taken little effort from her, that killer aura did all the work.

She motioned at him to follow her, he wanted to keep living so he did so in silence. Not one complaint.

They stand side to side on the mess of a garden Yuri left last night. It’s so much worse in the morning light. Makkachin went crazy all over the flowers. They’re broken, trampled and ugly. Deep holes in the ground and the mud all over the place. Did he really take long enough to make that much of a mess possible?

“I know it was you. Fix it.” That tone could freeze the sun.

“I don’t know anything about flowers.” It’s not an excuse, there weren’t many types of flowers left in his time. Harvesting vegetables is far from the same thing.

“You will learn.”

Yuri nods and starts by cleaning the mud from places it really shouldn’t be.

He stays there for hours, sweating under the sun. When Lilia tells him to stop, he isn’t anywhere close to being over. Breakfast will be over soon and he needs energy if he wants to keep the work up and train Katsudon in the afternoon.

Kenjirou and JJ are still eating breakfast when Yuri walks into the cafeteria, but the food isn’t being served anymore. The kitchen is closed, and the fruit hasn’t been restocked. He slumps in the chair and stares back at them. He is a sweaty, dirty mess and he doesn’t give a fuck because above all, he is starving. They pass him a plate each. What a pair of good men, they knew he’d be hungry and saved him food, the world needs more people like them.

He shoves everything into his mouth. It makes Kenjirou laugh but JJ has that disgusted face again. Mila is there at the edge of his vision, she looks fine. Not a speck of dirt on her, with a good mood. She talks and laughs energetically with Otabek and Nikolai.

What kind of combination of people is this? Of all the people. That table only needs JJ to be full of everyone he hates.

That liar. Well, Yuri wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to see around. He’ll have to go to the city on his own. Fuck the safety tips, his home was dangerous too and nothing ever happened to him. People here are just sheltered little asses.

Yuri slams his fists on the table and goes to the baths without finishing his food. In there, he runs into Victor and Chris, they say nothing about what he did last night. They only smirk at him knowingly and shake their heads.

“If you want to say something then do it.”

He leaves before they can answer. He’ll shower in his room and go.

  
  


The change in the nearby city isn’t very drastic. Almost everything is still in the same place. There are more people walking in the fully paved streets and the buildings aren’t falling apart. New businesses, homes, and cars everywhere. At one point, a train passes by in the distance.

There are families everywhere enjoying the weekend. A few kids in uniform walk together. Children run in circles and push each other on the sidewalk, almost tripping the adults. It's new enough to be amusing.

Yuri walks past a small park. Parents watch over the youngest children, teenagers sneak off alone to darker places. It’s so much like the past.

It should be more different. It should resemble that stupid donut they live in a bit more. The buildings, while still standing, have an old design that isn't as good.

There is also a bit from his timeline in the mix. The world changed but some things remain the same. The way they eye each other when they walk by, the lack of trust, constantly keeping their guard up.

Yuri took a map and bicycle from supply before leaving. They live on the outskirts of the city. Close to them is where the poor, the immigrants, and refugees live. Further, into the city, separated by a heavily guarded, high wall, live the people that are better off.

From his angle, it’s hard to get a glimpse past the wall, to what the best the world can offer. Comfort wise that is.

Yuri stops in a corner, a familiar face on the news displayed in the building facing him. It’s Celestino.

_ “The missing businessman was found wandering the streets of the outer city. He was taken to a hospital where they found him in perfect health and is now safe at home. It is thought that he escaped an attempted kidnapping…” _ __  
  
Out of all the unexpected things from the new timeline, this one takes the cake. Some lives remained as similar as possible while others had wild changes.

Back to people watching, those two waiting at the stop sign in the next block are familiar. That back and undercut can only belong to one person, who else would be accompanied by that annoying redhead?

So it wasn’t all lies, there is work to do in the city. If it’s nothing illegal then there is no problem in Yuri following them. He walks faster, can't let them get away now that he has them. What if they meet up with a drug supplier or their hitman? Gotta stay alert and careful. There are enough people around that he can get lost among them.

  
  


Few times has Yuri ever regretted something more than he does spending the past two hours following them. They have got to be the two most boring people in the world. The most interesting thing they do is stop at a street cart to eat. If only he could do the same, standing next to them and asking for a recommendation is sure to get his ass kicked into next week.

His stomach growls. It started eating itself half an hour ago.

Ah fuck it, he’ll buy something to eat in a store.

When he walks out of the tiny corner store with a cookie packet, not three minutes have gone by since he left the pair out of his sight and they are already gone. Who even fucking cares anymore? They’re too boring to be doing anything illegal anyway.

This stupid day is another one of those that won't decide what it wants to be. He is going to tag it as ‘shit day’ because that's what days like this tend to end as.

Yuri eats and checks his map for a way back, he picks his bike up and tries to get it to the lane but two men come out an alley and pull it back. They throw the bike away and leave it on the sidewalk as they push him in. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, it was only a matter of time before it happened but, why did it have to be today? Why couldn't the day stay boring? If they take his clothes, shoes, and bicycle and leave him to return by foot in underwear, he will snap and murder someone. Probably Otabek since this is all his fault.

Why reject him like that when he could have rescheduled? Is he too grumpy to be friends with? Why is this his priority while two dudes drag him to the back of a stinky alley to rob him?

The two muggers stink of cigarettes and dress like some gang from an old movie. With leather jackets and ridiculous hairstyles. One of them is more well kept and clean, the other has large motor oil stains on his clothes and hands.

The dirty one holds him face first against the rough wall. The mix of smells is disgusting, the wall has several stains and is a bit sticky. He’ll have to get a hard, full body scrub when he gets back, then have a dip in boiling water.

The clean one leans against the wall and lights a cigarette. So out of style, it hurts. “Yuri Plisetsky,” he says, the smoke coming out of his mouth hitting Yuri in the face. It scratches a path down his throat. He coughs.

So they knew Yurio. Hopefully, that means they won’t kill him for his belongings.

He runs a hand through Yuri’s hair then pinches his cheek hard. “I see it and don’t believe it.”

  
  


His head hurts like a bitch, he might have cracked it open for real this time. Yuri is still on the alley, but in his hands and knees, vision blurry with unshed tears. There is a body in front of him, from one of the muggers if the tobacco smell is anything to go by. Not that he can complain much anymore, Yuri himself will smell like piss and rotten food for the rest of the day. The alley is _ filthy. _

He tries to stand but his feet aren't working right and he falls again, his palms and knees getting even more scratched. There are other people with them. Their voices are loud and angry but their words indecipherable. One of them has the other against the wall, but things haven't gotten physically violent yet.

“We had a deal. I made it clear last time my people were out of bounds, didn't I?”

After so much stalking, Yuri would recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Mila.

“We didn't know he was one of yours.”

“Bullshit. There will be no mercy this time, Seung Gil.”

Yuri tries to stand again, this time he manages to stay upright but it’s by leaning against the disgusting wall. The world is spinning and hazy. Any moment he’ll be turning his stomach.

There is a grunt of pain the mugger races past him, leaving the unconscious one behind. Mila runs after him, not caring if Yuri dies in the piss alley or if he has a way to get back. She is the worst, there definitely is no guilt left for the Makkachin incident. She can kiss that apology goodbye.

  
  


Someone talks to him and holds his hand tight. They’re in a car. It's warm and sleep calls, he turns his head and looks at Otabek. At least someone had the decency to help him.

“What happened?” It’s a messy blur how he got from the alley to the car, or when Otabek showed up. Why are they holding hands?

“I don't know. I think you got robbed, when I got there it was already over. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner.” His hand is trembling a bit. Is he holding it to comfort Yuri or himself?

Yuri takes a deep breath, if he sleeps a bit it might get better when he wakes.

Mila slams her body against the car, shaking it violently, and shoves her head through Yuri’s windows. She pants, “Leo called, they found him. He’s on his way now.”

“Good, he can have a look at Yuri right away then.”

Mila gets into the back seat with only mild complaining.

Otabek takes him straight to the community’s hospital. They found the missing doctor, who turns out to be Georgi. Great, now he has to interact with this placeholder person until they can bring the real ones back and be crushed by the guilt. This isn’t like with Katsudon, who is now the only one, or like Michele, who is basically the same sister obsessed person. This Georgi has a completely different life in another Zone and will have to disappear when their Georgi comes back. Then everyone will be missing a Dr., this can’t possibly get any fucking worse.

It's a bit of a blur and Yuri doesn't actually remember much of it afterward. For some reason, he’s in the cafeteria with Otabek. They don’t talk much. There is no reason to. He’s just babysitting until he can find someone to take proper care of him.

Otabek hasn't touched his food, he keeps moving it around the plate and glancing at Yuri. Every time he gets caught, he returns to looking down. What is his fucking problem? Can't he leave him alone for once? He might not have directly caused this but it's all his fault. Whatever happened in that alley had to do with them. It’d be so much easier if he could remember how exactly.

“Is something wrong?”

_ You’re still here, so yes. _ “Why?”

“You’re quiet. It's unlike you.”

“Because you know me so well.”

Otabek recoils, he really isn't in the mood to deal with this right now. Not when his head is still a fucking mess.

“I’ll leave you alone then.” He stands and grabs his food. “If I see your friend, I'll tell him what happened and what the Dr. said about taking care of you tonight.”

He leaves. Yuri spends the next ten minutes glaring daggers at anyone that dares to look his way and replaying what he remembers of his day. It's not much. Otabek would make a good friend, he could have ditched him but didn’t. He remained at his side even when he was being an asshole. But it can't be, not in this life.

“Hey, can I sit here?” Dr. Popovich doesn't wait for an answer and sits down anyway. “Looks like you had a fight with your boyfriend. It’s cute how worried he was about you. Seemed like a patient one but I guess everyone has their limits.”

There is so much wrong with that. First, no one told him he could sit. Second, Otabek is not his boyfriend, what gave him that idea? Yuri is too tired to correct him so he grunts and waits for it to be correctly interpreted as ‘fuck off’.

It isn’t.

“I just got updated on  _ everything  _ going on in this place. I'm looking forward to starting a life here. The time travel alone…”

Blah, blah blah. All Dr. Popovich does is talk and talk and why would he be interested in a placeholder? Not like this will be a permanent Georgi he’ll have to care about. Yuri tunes him out to the best of his ability, he’s had a lot of practice living with Kenjirou.

By the time night comes, he can barely remember the conversation. Only some images of Dr. Popovich articulating wildly remain.

Kenjirou bursts into their room and proclaims himself his personal nurse. It’s the start of the most annoying night of his life, getting woken up every few hours. By dawn, he wants to hang him with his own intestines.

The next day is dedicated to resting. He tries to keep training Katsudon but Victor reprimands him and says he’ll take care of everything. Even Lilia visits him in the morning and postpones his gardening punishment until he feels better.

All the free time isn't doing any good to his wandering mind. Trying to make sense of what happened yesterday is a difficult task. Some of his memory isn't there but he has the general grasp of it.

He was so rude to Otabek, he took the time to take care of him when he had no obligation to. If the roles were reversed, Yuri would have abandoned him in piss alley and laughed about it. Is it a trick? One of those games Yurio accused him of playing? Make him look elsewhere so he won't suspect him, pretending to care for him.

What sort of deal does Mila have with those robbers? Is Otabek in it too? Did Yurio know? They knew his name but claimed they didn't know he was one of Mila’s. One of Mila’s what? Did he betray her? Go behind her back to deal on his own with those criminals? Yurio's box had nothing of being on a gang or having friends, or anything going on in his life.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri recovers quickly but no one wants to accept it. They keep treating him as if he’s about to break, but he is not an idiot. It’s an excuse, they want to be rid of him. It’s all in Victor and Katsudon’s eyes. There is something going on there and they don't want Yuri to ruin it, so Victor is taking the training over. Whatever, he was only doing it out of guilt and wasn't looking forward to spending time with him at all.

At least he still has Kenjirou, but the talking is mostly one-sided in that relationship. He listens and listens but never talks. Like his life and problems don't matter at all. Who cares if he’s having doubts or feeling lonely (he doesn’t but they shouldn’t assume). They have too many important things going on in their lives to worry about him.

JJ is the only one that seems willing to listen but it’s too hard to say anything to him with that sad, distant expression. The worst part is when he tries to get out of the slump by himself and falls back down again. It’s mostly whenever he lays eyes on Isabella, either with longing for her or mourning for the other one. Maybe a combination of both. Yuri has no way to help. 

It’s an unimaginable situation, he can offer no words of comfort and no one else bothers to. Yuri is free to do so but someone that doesn't have a family anymore, and never had lovers or friends, can offer very little. If he was in JJ’s shoes and someone like himself tried to do it, Yuri would break all their teeth.

“Feel free to tell me what's on your mind, Kitten. King JJ has wisdom and advice to go around.” His heart not being in on the teasing anymore somehow makes it more annoying.

He could be on to something, it wouldn't be bad to hear a second opinion on his plan. If he’s overreacting to something they can pull him back to reality. Yuri can get carried away in his imagination. It all connects for him but an outsider can offer a much-needed change of perspective.

“You see, lately I’ve—"

A collective gasp interrupts him. Everyone looks out the cafeteria windows. Some people even go out or crowd against it to see what is happening. Yuri shares a look with JJ, he frowns and goes to join the people outside. Going by the smiles, it can't be anything that bad.

There are two figures on the not so destroyed part of the garden, one of them kneels in front of the other. Nothing worth crowding around about.

“Sorry, I'm not feeling well. I’ll see you later, Yuri.” JJ shoves his way through the people and heads towards the dorms, head hung low.

It isn't until people start talking about how she said yes and how happy they are about it that he gets it. Using one of JJ’s tactics and invading his room with a sleepover tonight wouldn’t do much good. Seeing how the last one ended, if they hold another one in a thousand years it’ll be too soon. Not to mention it’d bring more unwanted, hurtful memories back and make matters worse.

  
  


Lilia makes him return to gardening at the end of the week. Isabella is part of the community’s gardening club. Though she doesn’t bother hiding her anger at the destruction and makes several passive-aggressive comments, she gets over it fast and talks about nothing but her upcoming wedding to anyone willing to listen and those that aren’t too.

She goes on and on about how she wants it to be in the gardens when they look beautiful. He's been wrong all this time. Yuri didn't dislike her because JJ had a bad effect on her personality, she is just as insufferable by herself. Destroying his ears by passing a rose stem through them becomes more appealing every second.

At least it keeps Lilia from trying to make conversation with him, aside from teaching him about the garden. Out of all the people to befriend, she isn’t on the list. She should go have tea with Nikolai and leave him alone.

Meal times get lonelier each day. First to go is Kenjirou, can’t resent him for getting along great with his family and eating with them. If he has a family that’s willing to get to know him and accepts him, then why shouldn’t he do it? Then, it’s Victor and Katsudon, spending all of their free time together under the guise of training. They’ve abandoned Chris too, but he has many friends around. JJ takes to spending time alone in his room. He won’t talk to anyone, won’t let anyone in, not even his family, he wants to be alone with his memories.

The mission isn’t going all that well either. Yuri is stuck on how to proceed. If to apologize or keep going like nothing happened. The need to say sorry builds in him but he isn’t the one in the wrong here, he’s the one that has been wronged. If anything, _ they  _ should be apologizing to  _ him _ . They should be begging for forgiveness.

They’re arsonists and thieves for fuck's sake. They’re fooling everyone. They’re involved with some city gang, the type that attacks people minding their own business. Why is he the one feeling shitty?

“If you stab the food any harder you’ll break the table.” Dr. Popovich sits with him without asking again. “It looks like there’s another storm coming soon. I recently got lost in one…” And then he proceeds to share his stupid, overly long story about how he got lost during the storm after making it through the border and failing to meet the person that was sent for him. 

“I knew I had to hurry, everyone was so worried here about you, but I’m glad you didn’t need me in the end. Look at you, I can hardly believe you were on your deathbed.”

“I was?”

“Yeah. With the two—oh.” He snaps his fingers and knocks on his head. “Forgot about the time travel thing, so I guess not you. Anyway, I’m glad that’s fixed and just the one girl that needs me. I tell you, the guilt was killing me.”

Shit, Sara. With so so much going on he completely forgot to check on Sara. The group needs to be together for another visit.

Dr. Popovich jumps to a story about his first love, who died recently and how the loss prompted him to take the job here. He whines about his broken heart. It sucks but how is this any of his business? He’s got enough trying to deal with JJ to add another brokenhearted man. It’s a stupidly long, depressing story and having to listen to it should be classified as torture. The day is fast on track to being total garbage.

“I can tell something is on your mind and I want you to know I’m here for whatever you need. I’d like us to be friends, Yuri.”

“Why would you want that?” No one else does.

Dr. Popovich shrugs. “I think we could get along great.”

He did get along with Georgi, but he’d known him since he was a child and he wasn’t nearly as talkative as Popovich. Then there’s the fact that this is a replaceable person. Soon they’ll go on the rescue mission and he’ll stop existing. It’s better not to get used to this version, but doing so will give him a purpose in what is left of his life. It’d be a small favor.

“Fine, but you can’t tell anyone about this.” Yuri doesn’t tell him everything. Only a vague version of events.

Popovich’s eyes sparkle. Is he really that happy to listen? It’s like when he used to confide in Georgi as a child. “Sounds like you’re onto something, Yuri. Without knowing the details, all I can say is that you shouldn’t give up. If you think someone is putting people at danger, then it's best to get that proof before accusing them. Don’t give up or you could regret it. I’ll support you on anything you need, don’t be afraid to ask for my help. Maybe next time we talk you can tell me how it went?”

He nods. That doesn’t sound so bad. It’s a pleasant surprise. Yuri steeled himself for him to laugh and persuade him to stop. Popovich isn’t such a bad friend after all. Katsudon has it too. That _ something  _ that was also present in their other selves. Their essence.

It’s more noticeable in some than others, Popovich and Katsudon on one end of the slide while Michele is on the other. The extreme jealousy and overprotectiveness over his sister is something that he has in common with his counterpart and possibly any other version of Michele that can ever exist. Trying to imagine him as a functional being without it is almost impossible. What sort of life did Michele lead these past few years? Did he die spiritually with his sister? It’s possible that he stopped existing and popped back the moment she made it through the machine.

  
  


Yuri somehow gets the Traveler group together, plus Katsudon, to visit Sara. The hospital is busier than the last time. There’s been a cough going around. Nothing serious but a bit contagious.

They run into each other when she is leaving the hospital. Her face back to normal, besides her bob cut, she is the same Sara that they sent to the past all those months ago. There are no scars or any trace that she’d been seriously hurt.

When she sees them, her eyes fill with tears. She runs to hug Victor and JJ.

“Get away from her! She's not out of the hospital yet and you’re already all over her,”  Michele instantly yells, his imagination wild as always.

They walk outside and she sits with her brother and Kenjirou on the stone bench under the tree. The rest of them stand around her.

They talk about everything she missed. The time they waited for them to return until she did so alone, and caused the Ripple. She woke up a couple of days ago but got released today.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you any valuable information. I don’t remember anything. Geo—the Dr., said that my memories could take a while to return. I can’t remember what happened with Georgi or Mikey or why I came back alone after so long. Or even what I did to cause a change,” Sara sobs. Michele puts an arm over her shoulders. “I’m sorry I’m so useless.”

“You’re not useless, you did what none of us could. We’re happy you’re safe now.” Victor pats her head. “We’re proud of you.”

Victor removed his hand after Michele tries to murder him with his eyes. Despite being creepy, it’s a bit heartwarming. Her brother won't leave her side at all even though it could be argued they aren’t real siblings. It must be nice, having a family that loves and stands by you in every timeline. Which everyone seems to have.

It’s a bit of a disappointment that she has no information but that is in no way her fault. One person back is better than none, in the months to come she can be a great help in locating the others. If her memories come back, that is.

 

* * *

 

After Popovich’s encouragement, Yuri is ready to retake the plan but every time he nears Otabek, it all comes back to him. His tongue ties, his feet stop moving, his palms become sweaty and can’t think of a single thing to say. Past the now normal glances, they’ve had no contact at all.

Is it a sign? Every time Yuri sets out to fix something, he fucks up more. This plan could be doomed to fail, he could be biting more than he can chew. They could have a legitimate reason for stealing those memories. If Yurio was in on something sketchy, this could be his out without getting involved himself. It could all be a great favor to him. It could be his destiny, to never solve this and continue with a mediocre existence devoid of purpose. Then again, he spent his whole life working on destroying destiny.

Something small and light lands on his right leg, ending his musings. It's the tiny hand of a child, around five or six years old, with a lot of freckles and a tooth gap.

He holds up a bracelet with crystals in yellows and greens with both hands. “Thank you, Mr. Traveler.” He gives Yuri a hug.

He's never hugged a child. There weren't many around him at home. There was hope that JJ and Isabella would have one at some point, that’s impossible now. Yuri hugs the kid back, messing his hair when he lets go. He holds out his free wrist and the boy slides the bracelet it in. It catches the light and reflects it in tiny dots over the moist earth and tree roots.

A woman calls in the distance, the kid waves and runs to his mother. She picks him up, gives him a kiss on the cheek and they both go on their merry way.

Yuri holds both his arms to his chest, trying to stop the hollowness inside from expanding. He rests back against the fruit tree and closes his eyes. After another light touch on his leg, he opens his eyes. Is the kid back? It's something even more unexpected this time.

The most beautiful cat he has ever seen has both front paws on him. There is no human with it, only the trees surround them. They make a pretty picture, with their many different fruits and colors.

“Hello, cutie.” He holds his fingers for it to smell. “Where did you come from?”

“Oh, sorry about her.” An out of breath Otabek comes from behind. Of course, it's his cat. Yuri isn’t ready for this talk yet but there is no time like the present.

“Don't be.” Yuri scratches her head. “She is beautiful. Sorry I talked to you that way the other day. I was hurt and my temper is not great.” It's a shit excuse but it will have to do.

Otabek’s mouth twitches. “I know. Sorry about not taking you to the city. You wouldn't have gotten hurt if I had.” He sits in the ground next to Yuri, their knees touching, and the cat immediately goes to him. He pets her, a sweet sight that should be illegal.

_ Don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault _ , he should say, but no one gets anywhere by letting opportunities go. “If you're so sorry about it, you can show me the city next time I want to go out. Then maybe I won't end in the hospital again.” Too much? Guilt tripping someone into a friendship isn’t ideal but there aren’t many options left.

“It wasn’t that serious.”

“I’ll live, but there's no telling about next time,” Yuri says with a playful tone and a wink. The silence extends too long. “I’m still new to this world and how it works. At first, I thought it was similar enough but I’m starting to doubt I can go explore it by myself.”

“What about the others? I know Giacometti was showing Nikiforov around and now Katsuki does too. Why not join them?”

Yuri squirms. “They didn’t ask and I didn’t want to impose.”

Otabek’s mouth twitches again, his eyes pained. “Tell me when you want to and I'll make time.” He gets up, hugging the cat to his chest. “Potya and I were on our way to visit someone.”

“Potya?” Yuri stands and crosses his arms. Otabek’s butt is dirty, he shouldn’t pat it clean. It’s a bad idea that will get him a fist to the nose, no doubt.

“Yeah, short for Puma Tiger Scorpion.”

Wow. “That is the coolest cat name.” Yuri covers his mouth, his voice came out louder than intended.

Another long silence. “Yeah, excuse me I'll…”

Otabek leaves in a hurry. His eyes might have been watering, a very strange reaction. Is he so disliked that the mere thought of spending time with him brings him to tears? Niceness never came naturally to Yuri, he’ll have to make an extra effort from now on. He won’t be able to rely on the guilt forever, though it works, it never leaves anyone feeling good.

Past the trees, Mila waits, arms crossed. Her face isn’t visible but he’d bet his left ball that there is a disapproving frown on it. What is her fucking problem? Ah, right, forcing his company on her friend.

It not only her though, lots of people have opinions about him and Otabek. Sometimes when they catch him peeking his way, they give disapproving looks.

Yuri pats his own butt clean. Better start planning the details for that new trip. He needs to befriend Otabek when they visit the city, it's his only chance. Things are too frail between them to withstand another fuck up.

  
  


It isn't his only chance. For some reason, Otabek wants to spend time with him. This, coupled with Mila not joining him for breakfast, makes it easy to tell the two of them had a fight. It’s possible she knows he is on to them. Good thing he picked the more trusty one to make his move, ending up like Sara is not on his To-Do list. Otabek is strong too but seems less eager to break his face.

It’s a surprise when he opens the door the day after their talk to find him and not JJ or Victor. Yuri follows him to the roof still in a daze. There is an area up there with potted plants, benches, and a few garden tables. They sit by the edge facing the countryside and enjoy a beautiful sunset. The silence is comfortable, for once.

“After I left yesterday, I realized I don't know how different this world is from the one you came. I heard the story, along with everyone else, but it wasn’t detailed. I don't know what to show you.”

“Huh, you actually put thought into this. I thought you would take me anywhere and be done with it for good. It’s what I’d have done. Why are you being so helpful? I’ve been nothing but rude.”

“We could be good friends.” He shrugs.

Oh shit, it’s happening. The first(second?) step is a success. “Were you—we—” Yuri makes a hand signal even he doesn't understand.

“Something like that.”

That can mean anything. It’s a bit too easy compared to their last encounters, where he’d end their interactions fast. He must be trying to stay on his good graces so he won't suspect him. Does he think he can fool him so easily? That he won't notice? He’s taking him for an idiot here. He’ll show this guy. Yuri is going to beat him in his own game.

“There wasn't much in my world. It was a rundown place in the outskirts of a shit refugee city barely in the Habitable Zone, like this one but much worse. Wasn't much better anywhere else, we had way fewer people than you do here. You were dead, it happened during the riots when you left your Zone. Your mother was there, wonderful woman.”

“So I could take you anywhere and it’d still be new.” He completely ignores the news that he was dead.

Yuri nods. “You’ll have to show me the world.”

“In that case, I know where to start.” He stands, extending his hand to Yuri, who hasn't moved yet. “You coming or not?”

Yuri gets up fast without taking his hand and follows him, careful not to get too near.

Otabek goes into the garage to fill the paperwork. Yuri waits outside in the playground, sitting on a swing. Otabek comes out ten minutes later and waves him in, inside are all kinds of vehicles lined up. He passes a helmet to Yuri and gets on a motorcycle. With a lot of care, he gets behind Otabek and holds on to him tight. It’s his first time, Yakov would have murdered him if he had risked his body like that.

The ride is forty-five minutes of driving on a deserted road, away from civilization. Otabek stops in the middle of nowhere. Yuri lets out a deep breath, it was a good ride, they didn’t die or drive out of the Habitable Zone. As long as he doesn’t get murdered and buried somewhere along the road, then he’ll remember it as a fun ride.

Yuri really let his guard down. Otabek acted suspiciously friendly the whole afternoon. Now it’s clear, he lured him here to murder him, he knows too much and will pay for it. What Otabek hid all day wasn’t his relationship with Yurio and the secret they shared. It was this all along. He knew he would kill him tonight.

Yuri has to play it smart and clueless if he wants to get out of this alive.

Otabek leaves the road and gets lost among shadows of the trees. The only light, coming from the moon and the stars, is not enough to distinguish him. The night is too chilly, he should have stayed.

“It’ll be just a small hike to the top of the hill.”

That must be where he dug the grave. Yuri gulps and rubs his hands on his pants. Taking a deep breath, he follows him. His legs wobble. There is nowhere to run now, they are in the middle of nowhere, he is defenseless and doesn't know the terrain. His best chance is to follow Otabek and either kill him first or act clueless enough he'll see there is no need, Yuri isn't a danger. Who would have thought Mila was the better option? She would have broken his face but he'd continue to live afterward.

Yuri reaches the trees and trips on the uneven ground. Otabek catches him before he can hit it. His eyes must be more used to the dark than Yuri’s, he can’t see much. The trees cover most of the sky only letting little rays of light through.

He lets go as soon as Yuri is upright again. It’s a short hike, ten minutes at most and the first five on an extra slow pace because of Yuri. There are many insects around and every step he takes in the darkness could be the one where he falls to his death.

After those excruciating five minutes, Otabek runs out of patience and holds his hand. It quickens the pace but not by much.

It's a weird hold. Like he’s something slippery and gross. No one forced the asshole to grab it. Yuri shakes his hand off when the trees clear near the top. They walk a few more minutes until they finally reach it, no pre-dug grave waits for him.

The Donut is visible, so are the tall edifices of the outer city. Past the wall is the inner city, buildings as tall as the others but with far more beauty and color, some in imaginative shapes. It's amazing, unlike anything back home. So much light, so much life everywhere.

A knot grows in his throat, his eyes burn and vision blurs. He blinks several times, forcing the tears to stay in their place. Showing them to the enemy is a big No.

“I know you've been in the city already, but the sight from here can give you a better idea of what you saved. Thank you for your work. For the life many of us get to have now.” Otabek smiles, now lit by the moonlight. Yuri looks away, bringing a hand to his chest. It feels odd.

If only he had. Nothing Yuri did helped save anything, much less led to this. None of his work made a difference. Not really. The only ones that deserve to be here and hear those words are Kenjirou and Sara. Not him. Not the one that didn’t do anything but sneak food and have fun in an aquarium.

The tears fall. Traitors. If Otabek sees them, he doesn't mention it, neither does Yuri. Let them be lost to the dark. They stand there for a long time, watching the city. The lights, the edifices, the people. It’s too far away to see them but that they are there is enough.

Otabek holds his hand again when it's time to go. This time it doesn't feel like he’s forced to hold a dead fish. His thumb rubs Yuri’s hand in a soothing motion. It’s too sweet for a fake friendship, the bastard is putting effort into it. He sure is underestimating Yuri, thinking he can take advantage of him so easily. It’s a bit hypocritical to hold it against him, they're both playing this game after all.

The walk back down is a bit faster. Yuri stops at the edge of the road, when Otabek looks back, he pulls hard at his hand, brings him to his body and holds him. He’ll have to make it the best hug of his life. Burying his face in Otabek’s neck might be too far or it might be what sells it. Otabek freezes, hands limp at his side. He hugs tighter. At least he smells good, the hug isn't completely terrible.

A hesitant hand settles on his back, then another. It gets stronger until Otabek is holding him tight, his hands clenching Yuri’s clothes. It hurts a little and it's becoming hard to breathe but he doesn't let go. Something is happening right now, not clear what but it's strong and important. Yuri smiles into his neck, the sucker is completely falling for his act.

“Thank you,” he mutters in his ear.

When Yuri let's go, Otabek’s hands linger on him. To cover his smug smile, he walks to the bike and pretends to look at the moon. It takes a bit too long for Otabek to recover and join him.

He doesn't talk to Yuri the rest of the night. Not even a goodbye when they part ways. It’s almost like he disintegrated during the ride without noticing. Otabek has either figured him out or he’s started to get under his skin.


	6. On a Rainy Day

Despite the progress, he doesn’t have a good night sleep. Yuri is awake most of it, this time it’s not even Kenjirous’s fault. He doesn't try to jump over the pillow wall to hug him or keeps talking until early hours of the morning. This time he is the perfect roommate and he can't enjoy it.

It’s Otabek Altin’s fault. Shortly after going to bed, he invaded his mind and refused to go. The pounding in his head didn't make it any better. He joins the others for breakfast out of habit, not wanting to stay in bed and sleep. That’ll ruin his sleep cycle even more.

They are not at the usual table, but in a larger one, with Michele and Sara. Katsudon sits on what would be his spot. When Kenjirou sees him, he waves him over and makes room for him by his side, next to Michele.

“You are late, they stopped serving food so I saved you something.” Kenjirou passes him a bowl with soggy cereal.

Yuri’s spoon is about to reach his mouth when a disgusting sight sends everything to hell. There they are, sitting together, smiling and enjoying life. It makes his skin crawl and ruins his appetite. He throws the spoon down, splashing milk around the bowl and down his clothes.

“Hi Yuri, you look awful.” Sara smiles at him, there is murder in Michele’s eyes.

It’s almost like being back home. He can't tell her he thinks she looks like shit too for two reasons. One: it would be a lie, she looks great; two: Michele would rip his eyes out and claim it’s fine since he wasn’t using them anyway.

“I find it very interesting that in our timeline I survived the journey while…”

They continue with the conversation they had had before he arrived, he doesn't get much of it. It’s about their trip north, when their Zone became uninhabitable and how it differs from the current timeline. He can piece bits together but never cared much about them to remember the details required to follow the conversation. The important part was Aynur lost her son there and then took the twins in. Yuri is free, once again, to try and set fire to the two most terrible people with his eyes.

What a shitty way to start the morning, though to be fair, one encounter with either one of them throughout the day is usually enough to ruin it.

He picks the spoon and uses it to move the cereal around. It's too gross to eat anyway.

Is this a taunt or do they know each other well? The other day wasn’t a fluke and Mila isn’t their connection. Does it happen often or is it a way of showing him he has access to Nikolai and can hurt him any time he wants? That would only work if he cared about the old man, which he doesn't. According to Yurio’s memory, Otabek likes playing mind games, he’ll have to keep that in mind going forward.

Laughter erupts around the table, everyone is looking at him. He hasn't done anything particularly funny and didn't hear the last part of the conversation to know what they find so amusing. If he hadn’t fixed his hair or had dried drool they wouldn't have waited so long to laugh.

“So, where was the kitten off to last night?” JJ’s tone is suggestive. A good stab in the eye with his spoon should put him in his place, he should be thankful Grandpa taught him proper table manners. “Heard you came home very late. Did you finally get over your crush on me and found a date?”

“Don't say such gross shit.” He should shut it before Yuri decides table manners are overrated.

“Oh, JJ, everyone knows Yuri’s first and only crush was Yuuri,” Victor says.

Katsudon chokes on his drink, it comes out of his nose and to his shirt. His entire face goes red, matching Yuri’s. Even his glasses get foggy, which is not cute in any timeline.

“Shut your mouth!” Hiding his face would confirm it. With a lot of effort, he keeps his expression neutral and goes back to playing with his cereal.

They’re laughing at him, all of them. It's loud and fills the room. Yuri’s face still burns, he risks a glance at other tables, they are being eyed with disapproval. If they keep being so loud they’ll get kicked out.

“Otabek took me on a hike to see the city’s skyline.”

“No one has taken me to see it.” Kenjirou talks into his plate. His lip trembles, it’s super effective.

“We could take you, do a family trip. You will love it,” Katsudon says the magic words and brings the smile back.

Victor nods. “It’s very beautiful”

“You can come too if you want.” Katsudon fogs his glasses again.

Victor agrees. The invitation isn’t extended to anyone else at the table.

“I could take you too, Sara.” Michele holds her hand, then looks at JJ and Yuri. “Just the two of us.”

Wouldn't want to be in the vicinity of their weird ass interactions anyway. “It’s true, it was very beautiful. He agreed to show me the city properly too.”

All of their eyes fall on him. He can’t identify the look they give him, besides it being fucking bothersome.

“I didn't ask him because we’re friends, okay?” This needs to be very clear. It’s important. “There's just something off about him and I'm going to figure out what.”

The stupid smile is not falling off their faces and the sparkle in their eyes increases. Even Michele does it.

“It’s okay to want a friend Yuri, normal even. No need for excuses.” Victor’s smile grows impossibly large. He obviously finds it pee-your-pants funny. Needy Yuri, running after some guy, forcing him to spend time together because he is a lonely loser no one would spend time with otherwise. Fuck Victor.

“I said it’s not that. There's something shady about that guy and Mila. The two of them are hiding something. Yurio knew, and Popovich said they called him here because he was on his deathbed just before we got here, he thinks I’m right. I saw some of his memories before he stole my box and they were fighting.” Finally, the smiles start to slip off their faces. “Then I keep seeing them harass some dude all the time and they have a connection with the gang that attacked me.” They look at each other, do they get it now? “And Mila looks like she wants to kill me and spread my entrails every time she runs into me.”

They pull at the hem of his shirt lightly. He’d gotten off the seat and hunched over the table at some point. His fingernails leave red marks on his palms when he relaxes his hands. The attention is still on him, but it’s no longer mocking and light-hearted. Are they scared for him or of him?

“Those are some serious accusations, do you have proof of anything?”Victor asks.

“No, but I will get it once I get into his room.”

A prolonged silence, then Michele stands abruptly. “Look at that, Sara, it’s time for your nap.”

Sara does a big, fake yawn. “I still need a lot of rest to get better, see you later.” They leave like their heels are on fire, not even bothering to pick up their plates.

“You’re not wrong about the way Mila looks at you.” Kenjirou points behind him, his smile too big. “Can I get your clothes if she kills you? I always wanted to try animal print.”

Yuri turns, Mila walks in his direction, she stops next to him, grabs him by the arm and pulls him out of the bench. She walks back towards the hall, dragging him along. His feet tangle with each other, he almost falls several times. Her grip is strong, he can't get away. It’s better to stop struggling. If she uses all her strength she could crush his arm.

Back at the table, the others stand in shock. Mila stops to shoot them a glare, they sit back down with their tail between their legs. Past them, also looking his way, are Nikolai and Otabek. That’s all they do, watch the show without interfering. Bunch of cowards, the lot of them.

Yuri gets slammed on the hall’s wall, still in plain sight through the glass wall. How can someone so short be so strong? Mila holds him at a distance, her hand on his chest. It hurts a lot. Like it's about to cave in. If they find him dead, with a small, hand shaped hole in his chest, he’ll come back to haunt her ass for eternity for forcing him to suffer such an uncool, embarrassing death. He’ll haunt the cowards too while he’s at it.

“I don't know what you think you're doing and I don't care. Leave. Beka. Alone.” Her face is almost as red as her hair. She loosens her hold then shoves him harder against the wall. This time, something cracks, and it gets hard to breathe. “I won't tell you again.”

Mila walks away, when she turns the corner, Yuri slides down the wall. His chest, back, and arm throb in pain. At least his head came out unscathed this time. A bruise is forming on his arm already, the places where her hand has been hurt too much. He rests his head on his knees and tries to breathe properly.

What are they feeding these people? That level of strength can't be human. The cowards come for him as soon as Mila leaves. JJ picks him up like he weighs nothing and carries him to the hospital bridal style because if there's something he needs right now, it’s more humiliation. It's to the other side of the hall but far longer than he wants to be in JJ’s arms.

There are more people than when they went to visit Sara. They don’t look so sick. Now that they have a proper Dr., everyone must want to get a checkup.

“See, what did I tell you?”

“Sorry, couldn't understand a word of that, Kitten. But no, King JJ can't kiss it better, if that's what you're asking.”

Would a kick to the face be too risky? He could fall and hurt his back more. Yuri will try again when not so out of breath, an ‘I told you so’ is not something he is willing to give up.

 

* * *

 

Good news: Yuri is not dying. Bad news: not only does he have Mila’s handprint on his arm, it’s also on his chest, over his cracked ribs. That little show left some nasty bruises, and not just physically. Not all is lost, he can milk this dry  _ and he will _ . That witch thinks she can just come, manhandle him and tell him what to do? No one orders Yuri Plisetsky around, no one. Superhuman strength or not.

Snap.

He looks up from his chest, Popovich holds his hand at eye level. Yuri cracked and ranted about everything. None of the others were willing to listen.

“I said, I can’t believe she would do something like that in public. What a scary woman, she must have anger issues. Did she say anything else besides ‘leave beka alone’?”

“No, she came out of nowhere, pushed me around, said that and left. I wasn't even near him, he’s been ignoring me since our ride back last night. And going there was his idea. _ He _ approached _ me _ , she should be pushing _ him _ around.”

“Hm.” Popovich rubs his neck. “What if she is?”

What?

“What if it's not Otabek that has been doing all of this, but Mila.” He sits next to Yuri on the bed. “You said it yourself, Otabek has been nothing but nice and friendly. What if it isn't a trick? It could be real and it’s Mila that is behind everything. Even when they harass that poor guy, it’s Mila doing it and him standing guard.”

“That makes him just as—"

“Not if she’s forcing him. Think about it. That woman is angry and violent, it’s not so hard to believe she’d force him to stay by her side. She wants you out of the way, maybe she is the possessive type, but he won't listen or she won't hurt him-"

“So she does it to me, hoping it will work and I'll stay away. Why steal my memories? What about the fight and confession?”

“It was an old memory, could have been about anything, we don't really have the context. As for the stealing, there could be something on the others. You skipped some, right?”

“Yeah, they didn't look important at the time. It must be something she doesn't want me to tell Otabek about.”

“See, it all makes sense, and you get yourself a good friend out of it.”

A bit too good to be true, but possible.“Thanks for listening.” He was a total asshole last time they talked.

“Any time.” He pets Yuri’s hair, a Georgi thing in every timeline, it seems. “Be careful and don't forget to time your pills with the exercises. I don't want to hear your curses all the way to the hospital. And there's been a cough going around, you don't want to get it with cracked ribs.”

 

 

Yuri and Kenjirou find Otabek on their way back from dinner. He is waiting outside their door, sitting on the floor. When there is no reaction to seeing them, Yuri crouches next to him. He's fallen asleep. How long has he been there? He motions to Kenjirou to enter the room and sits next to Otabek.

Yuri stares at him for a few minutes, willing him awake. His eyes flutter and he brings his hand to rub the sleep away. There is a bit of drool on the side of his mouth. Cute. And a bit gross but mostly cute.

Yuri smiles and cleans it away with his thumb. Otabek jumps and bangs his head on the wall softly. No concussions for him. He wrinkles his nose and rubs it.

“Hey.” His smile gets wider.

“Hey.” Otabek doesn't smile but his eyes are soft. “Your fingers are cold.”

“Oh, sorry.” Yuri holds up his ice pack for a second. “For my chest.”

“I’m sorry about that. I should have done something. I thought she just wanted to talk to you.”

“By dragging me to the hall? She starts all her talks like that?” Otabek winces and Yuri changes track. “Why are you apologizing? You’re not the one that almost shoved their hand through my chest.” Whoops, back to that. He takes a deep breath and a second to calm down. “It’s nothing. Just some bruises and cracks on my ribs, I'll be fine and they gave me drugs.”

“It's not nothing, it’s a lot of pain you shouldn't be on. And my fault, again.”

Yuri rolls his eyes. “You’re not responsible for Mila’s actions. And about the concussion, I might have blamed you unfairly. I got robbed. Unless you sent them it wasn't your fault.”

“I still should have stopped it, she hasn't been herself lately. I should have protected you, gotten in between.” He buries his face in his hands.

Is he trying to imply Yuri can't take Mila on his own? It's true, he’d probably get destroyed if he tried. If she was as fast as Otabek anyway, but he shouldn't be saying it to his face. That's the kind of comments you save for shit-talking someone behind their back.

“Don't worry too much about it, it only hurts when I breathe.” Otabek raises his head, a single tear runs down his cheek. It was supposed to be a joke. He should scratch comedian off his list of jobs to fall back on but it wasn't make-you-cry bad.

“None of it should have happened, Yuri, I am so sorry.” Otabek’s intense look is back from vacation. Yuri says nothing. Whatever he says won’t matter, they’ll keep going round and round. He squeezes Yuri’s hand.

So much physical contact is unnecessary, yet he isn't about to do something about it. There’s an itch in his hand and an idea in his head. One that says the itch will go if he touches Otabek’s cheek and cleaned away that tear. Yuri's fingers are a pair of centimeters from reaching their goal. Heavy footsteps and loud arguing interrupt their moment.

It's Mila and the guy, fighting out of schedule. They stop when they spot them. Mila and Yuri make eye contact. She takes a step towards him, then stops to look back, torn between continuing what she is doing and ripping his throat out for not staying away from her precious Beka. Despite the fact that it is once again dear Beka that went out of his way to talk to him.

“I'll see you around, Yuri.” He squeezes Yuri's hand one last time, then goes to Mila. He whispers something in her ear and drags her away from the guy, who goes to his room further down the hall.

Yuri sighs, smacking the door with his open palm. “Kenjirou, help me get up!’

 

* * *

 

Taking care of cracked ribs is more annoying than the concussion, way more painful too. The exercises are hell but his body has to be in good condition if he wants to go on that rescue mission. It's a better retirement than giving up. Heavy exercise is forbidden, his activity restricted to walking. It’s preferable to stay in bed in that case. The medication makes him a bit dizzy, and he has to do shit every few hours so, why bother? A few days catching up on sleep never killed anyone.

It only takes a bit of moaning to get Kenjirou to bring him breakfast. He can't outrun Mila when he can't run at all.

Playing around with the phone is fun, he can catch up on history. A few interesting things pop up every so often. Like tigers not going extinct yet, which he should have seen coming given the creepy shared memories on Yurio's box.

_ The agreement ended the Water Wars and most of the Habitable Zones became open for all. Despite the Cialdini Foundation’s efforts, Zone 3 remains closed to this day. Thousands of people died and millions were injured during the riots and infighting that broke out along the trail. With food and water being so scarce, overnight massacres to alleviate the weight were common. _

_ Most people that headed south found themselves welcomed, one infamous case that… _

If Popovich is correct, then he can help Otabek be free of Mila and they can become friends for real. He doesn’t seem too eager to leave her, but he also isn't willing to stay away from Yuri. If he plays his cards right he might be able to make a wedge between them.

_ The near collapse of Chinese agriculture… _

What is her fucking problem anyway? Ever since the Ripple, she has been an asshole for no reason. Otabek taking offense to that attempted punch, which he didn’t, would be different.  He’s done nothing to her to deserve getting his bones cracked. Even if she somehow knows about his plan, this is still not justifiable. He’ll be doing Otabek a favor by taking him away from such a terrible friend.

_ The near collapse… _

Why is he even thinking about them? Who cares if Otabek is trapped in some terrible friendship? What's important here is that he was given top material to work with and only an idiot would let it pass. The original plan still stands. No matter what goes on in their personal lives. He doesn't care, it’s not his business. They can keep their torrid friendship, he’ll have nothing to do with it once he gets the proof he needs and sends the both of them away. Getting attached is stupid, and if there is something Yuri is not, is stupid.

_ After the bioengineering disaster that caused the Africa-America War… _

The door slides open, interrupting Yuri’s reading. It’s not Kenjirou with his food but Otabek. He gives slow, careful steps into the room and sits at the corner of the bed. The door slides closed, leaving the two of them alone in his room, on the bed.

“What are you doing here?”

Otabek puts his hand on Yuri’s feet, only the blanket’s thickness separates them. “I thought a lot about last night. How horrible Mila was to you. It was only fair that she paid for it.” He scoots closer until he is sitting next to Yuri, his hand trailing the length of his leg to his hip. With his other hand, he tucks the blonde hair behind his ear, leaving his face clear.  Otabek’s gets closer to him until his mouth is at his ear. “I broke her ribs this morning. She was in pain, begging for mercy.”

That is terrible, she had it coming. Yuri sighs, moving in search of his lips. Otabek holds his face with both hands, they get closer. Their breath mingles, he can feel the heat coming off him. Just a little more.

Smack.

Yuri brings his hand to his mouth, it comes away stained with blood. What the fuck? He is lying on the bed, alone. The room is empty, his breakfast tray on the bedside table. The phone he’d been reading on leaning on his face.

He grabs the pillow and screams into it. Stupid chest pain, go away already.

  
  


The creepy dream repeats several times over the day. It's not always the same one but the contents are similar enough. It always has him fooled until the last moment when he wakes in pain. It then becomes clear that a person doesn't normally rip their shirt off instantly after entering a room. That should have been enough to give it away a few times.

Catching up on lost sleep will be impossible if it continues. At this rate, he’ll have to spend the rest of recovery awake, walking or some shit. Figures Otabek would ruin even this for him.

By the tenth time he opens his eyes to find Otabek in his room, he has had enough. This time he sits next to him, fully clothed for once.

“Look who finally figured out how to wear a shirt.”

“...what?”

Loud laughter comes from the door. “I let him in.” Kenjirou is here too, he wouldn't mind a dream with an extra person but he would have picked someone else. “I'll go out with my family a bit, see ya.”

Hm, deep brea—horrible pain. Not a dream then. Now that he looks closer, Otabek has Potya in his arms. Not something that would feature in his dreams, though maybe on Yurio’s. That boy was into weird shit.

“Thought Potya would help you feel better.” He puts the cat on the bed and she steps on him with her tiny paws. He survived Mila, he won’t survive the amounts of pure cuteness coming from Potya. “She keeps trying to come to  you.”

“Thanks, I always wanted a cat but in our timeline pets weren't a thing. They didn't make it.” Most animals didn't. Yuri lets out a loud groan when she steps on his chest. Lucky she is too cute to hurt.

Otabek gets her off him fast and holds her against his chest again. It’s warm and comfortable there.

There are two choices: say nothing and enjoy the company or make a show of what Mila did and get the plan in motion. Being an ass about it requires energy that he doesn't have at the moment. Maybe when he’s healed he can work that angle. As of now, getting to know more about the issue wouldn't be so bad.

Yuri leans on the bedframe and pats the spot by his side, close to where he sat on that first dream. It's only so that the cat can sit with the two of them.

“How long have you had her?”

“About eight years.”

That is way longer than he thought. “Was it before you got here?”

“No, we got here when I was thirteen. It was two years after that. During a birthday party.”

Yuri scratches Potya’s head. “I can't remember the last time I celebrated my birthday. I was always in the past during that month and the days didn't line up. I just knew upon return that I was a year older.” No one cared enough to bother to celebrate him after Grandpa’s passing either.

“I was in the Traveler Program for a couple of years. I quit when it became clear my body wouldn't be able to handle it.”

Yuri eyes him from head to toe, what is he talking about? His body is in perfect shape. If Kenjirou’s body can handle a Leap then so can his.

“I wanted to ask, what was the past like?” Otabek’s face gives away nothing.

“I don't know, lots of people, very noisy. There are a lot of birds, they poop everywhere.”

Otabek covers his mouth with his hand. “Not much different from here then.”

Yuri shakes his head. “Way different from my timeline and the original one but this one is similar enough. We didn't really see much of the world. We mostly worked, but it's hard to believe they all branch out from the same one. I wish I could know what changed to stop the Reset.” What did the other group do that they didn't? What was drastic enough?

“At least you got to see it and help.” Otabek’s shoulders slump a bit, it's almost imperceptible. Yuri has been paying extra attention and it's paying off.

“Not that much, the sad truth is we were nothing more than glorified environmentalists. We weren’t allowed to explore or have fun either.” Yuri yawns, stupid pills making him drowsy when he just woke.

Otabek gives a tiny frown, which isn't much different from his usual one. Someone teach this guy about facial expressions. “Why? They never gave us that rule during training.”

Yuri’s face overheats, now it's his turn to hide behind his hand. “It wasn't an original rule, it was added later because of… events.” He tries to leave it at that but Otabek stays silent, asking for answers with his eyes. Fuck, he's gonna have to give the details. “We did go out once, Victor wanted to celebrate his birthday or something. It was our first Leap. We went to a club and he paid someone to let me in, I wasn't allowed to drink with them. Katsuki was a dancing machine and for some reason, everyone ended up in their underwear. Nothing on that scale happened back home, it was our first time and we got carried away.”

Otabek’s mouth twitches before he can cover it again. “It happens here.”

“I imagine. There are a lot of people alive in this timeline.” Yuri sits more comfortably on the pillows and leans his head on Otabek’s shoulder. “Victor got hold of some bottles, I'm not even sure what they were, he wanted to bring them over so we could drink during our downtime. Yakov wouldn't let us near his bottles and drinks weren't easy to obtain. We hid them and a bunch of other stuff we bought on his bag. On the Leap back it exploded, no one knew it could happen. There was a mess, and maybe a bit of fire, I don't remember well, we had to hurry Victor to the hospital. A real one in the city. I wanted to leave JJ as payment, instead, we had to pass them half of our rations for the next six years. From then on, it was strictly work and bringing things from the past got banned.”

Otabek’s shoulder is very comfortable, his lap looks even more so. It’ll grant him a good rest, Potya certainly looks cozy there. Yuri holds her close to him and lies down with his head on Otabek’s lap. It’s as he imagined.

Otabek and Potya stay a couple of hours, or maybe it's minutes. It’s hard to know how much time has passed when you’re curled up with a cat listening to an amazing voice. It’d be perfect if it wasn't for his guilty face and silence everytime Yuri shows the smallest amount of discomfort. It gets old fast. Worse is that he should like it, take advantage of it, but he chickens out everytime the opportunity arises, unwilling to ruin the moment. Guilt tripping Otabek into befriending him worked but left a bad taste in his mouth. This is both, better and worse.

When he planned this he didn't want the guy to be actually likable. It was easier when he was convinced Otabek had his own agenda. Now the doubts make it harder to hate him and justify his actions. What a shitty development.

As if to drive in how good a friend he can be, Otabek hums a song, it must be timeline exclusive since he’s never heard it. It's nice, so very nice and it calls to him. He runs his fingers through his hair. No one has done that since Grandpa when he was still a child asking for bedtime stories.

It changes nothing if he is innocent or has magic fingers. The plan doesn't change. Someone stole from him, started a fire via explosion to do it and Otabek was involved if not responsible. He will bring that to light, being more likable than planned isn't going to change that. There is still the possibility this is all a game to him too, gaining Yuri’s trust to get him out of the way.

If so, he is in for a big surprise, he won't be fooled so easily. Won't be taken in by that nice scent, strong and comfortable legs, a cute cat or nice voice…

Not even if he breaks Mila’s ribs for him…

A warm touch on his forehead. Yuri’s eyes flutter open. Otabek’s face moves away from him, with a soft smile and a strange look. What was that?


	7. Shade of Grey

The time has come to take those exercises seriously. There’s an important mission coming. He needs to heal well, and this is the best way to keep in shape instead of fucking up his chances by staying in bed, lazing around where anyone can find him. It’s not that he’s avoiding visits, they are just too annoying and take energy from him. He also looks pretty pathetic at the moment, everyone knows what happened. It’s the best way to avoid pity looks. He is not about to give anyone the satisfaction to see poor, weak Yuri and his easily broken bones in pain.

Long, lonely walks are good for his mind too, a nice rest from stares, stalkers, and k— _ things  _ that might not have been real. He could've dreamt it, wouldn't be the first time, though it wasn't like his other dreams. Those felt different, by themselves they mean nothing, but that last one, how sweet and real it was… That annoying fluttering in his stomach is back, it won't even let him eat in peace.

Yuri leans against one of the fruit trees and waits for the vomit to come. It doesn’t. Stupid medication side effects. Not only that, his heart beats faster than it should.

All these ‘accidents’ are interfering with his routine, there could soon be two piggies walking around. Has so much Leaping done damage to his heart? It didn’t show in his last physical test but that was a while ago. Don’t be ridiculous, stay calm. Yuri bumps the tree with his forehead lightly three times.

Don’t panic and think, think. So far it only came up when he thought about  _ that _ or Otabek. Doing none is the best way to proceed, at least until his ribs get better and he returns to normal life.

It’ll be such a waste of time. At least a month and a half lost. According to his calculations, by that point, Otabek and Mila should both have been thrown out for the safety of everyone living in the community.

It isn't worth it. Better to run into it and fix it than avoid it and make everything worse. There's nothing to worry about. It probably wasn't real, why would Otabek do that? It makes no sense and it’s better to forget about it. Forever. If he brings it up and it was his imagination, he’ll get the wrong idea, think Yuri wants something else and then things will get complicated. It can't get complicated right now, not when they’re already “friends" and he is so close to discovering the truth.

Even worse, what if it’s real but he thinks nothing of it and it’s only him making a big deal. Otabek will laugh and think him lame. Chris and Victor did say it’s a normal friend thing. At the time, it sounded like shitty advice, now it sounds like they were spot on. They’re supposed to be comfortable doing that to each other, right? The sign of a good friendship.

Yuri didn't mind all the physical contact at all, he'd initiated most of it. To watch Otabek squirm because of it. Is this his revenge? Yuri enjoys making him uncomfortable so now he does  _ that  _ and waits for him to explode. Asshole move, sounds about right.

This is the first time Yuri befriends someone (even if fake) outside of his line of work. There is nothing to compare the feelings with. The thought of kissing Victor or Kenjirou never crossed his mind before. Now that kissing JJ just did, he wants to rip his lips off to make sure it never happens. The Katsuki thing was childhood admiration, nothing like what Victor claims.

Victor and Chris, they already gave not so shitty advice once, they can do it again. It’s been a week already, be brave and do something about it, Plisetsky, this behavior is shameful. Anyone would end a friendship because they’re avoided for a week, fix it before all the progress goes to hell.

Yuri walks as fast as he can without bending over in pain to Victor’s room. One of Chris’ friends sees him waiting by the door and tells him they left early in the morning with other people, and haven’t come back. Kenjirou also left in the morning with Katsudon, and asking JJ about kisses is an all-around terrible idea. It can go wrong in so many ways, for both of them. The Isabella Issue is still too recent and anything can send JJ into a sadness spiral.

Michele will kill Yuri on the spot if he approaches Sara with any sort of question related to that. It leaves one person: Popovich.

Yuri bites his lip, this isn't his Georgi. Relying so much on a temporary person has the potential to get messy in the long run. He shouldn't have gotten involved with him at all, but he did, tormenting himself about it now instead of taking advantage of it is stupid.

Once again, in his fastest pace, Yuri makes his way to Popovich’s office. Even with no appointment, he receives him. The other patients glare daggers at him.

He serves them both coffee and they sit on the plush chairs with the desk between them.

“Don’t worry about them, they can wait. Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

Yuri blurts out everything. It all just comes out. Not overly detailed or with emotions in it but what matters is that it's all out, he is finally free. It won't keep making rounds in his mind at night, no longer keep him awake for hours.

“Kisses on the head tend to be protective, like the ones you give a kid. Given all that happened last week and your current condition, don't overthink it too much.”

Yuri nods. The discomfort in his stomach and chest is back but somehow different. More unpleasant.

“Had it been somewhere else, there would be a possibility for it to be romantic, it’d make sense. Love is a wonderful thing. I do think the two of you would be cute together, but only if he isn’t involved in anything illegal. You figured out any of that yet?”

Yuri shakes his head. His throat throbs in pain.

Popovich takes a sip of his coffee. “I’ve been thinking about it, I like you a lot but I don't want to see you here so often.” He laughs. “I’m afraid we’ll have to move you here permanently if you don't hurry with this. You and Mila can't both keep living here. Something needs to be done soon. I only hope Otabek is innocent so you may keep a good friend from this.”

Yuri looks down at his coffee, willing his voice to work. “You're right. This ends now.” In a way, he’s known it since that day, when he woke with that fuzzy memory. From then on, it was all just trying to prolong the inevitable.

 

* * *

 

This time, it doesn't take long to make a plan. Two days of vigilance in, it’s clear Mila and Otabek are still fighting.

Every night after their security work shift, Otabek returns to their room alone. Mila stays out with other people and returns late at night, possibly when he’s already asleep.

The plan is simple, not much different than the one before. With Kenjirou’s help, he brings dinner all the way to the third floor. Two cups of hot chocolate and sandwiches cut in little triangles. Once there, he passes him the tray and knocks on the door.

“Good luck.” He winks, that annoying, knowing smirk on his face.

Yuri grunts in response and waits for the door to open. It doesn’t and Kenjirou already left, to kick on it it is then.

Two strong kicks later, a grumpy, sleepy Otabek opens the door. To say that he is surprised would be an understatement. Eyes that wide haven’t been seen on his face since their first meeting.

“Hi, haven't seen you in a while so I thought we could have dinner together?” Yuri gives his best shy smile. If it doesn't work he's ripping the eyes off a puppy to wear them himself.

Something slides between Yuri’s feet, and he jumps, the chocolate cups splash on the tray and bread as he tries to keep it from falling. Otabek holds it steady, their fingers overlap and seal his fate. Now he has to invite him in, all thanks to Potya being the greatest cat. Would it be too much of a dick move to ask to keep the cat after they get thrown to the streets? She loves him and this would be a better home for her.

Otabek steps aside, he doesn't want to, that much is clear with the giant fucking grimace on his face. Fucking asshole, this is just like that sorry excuse for hand holding on their hike. It’s a blessing then, that he won't have to put up with Yuri's garbage presence much longer. He walks in, Potya at his heels.

The room is a mess. Not the clothes-thrown-everywhere type, but the two-people-living-in-a-room-made-for-one. It’s about half his own and very cramped. A single bed to the side, a curtain separates it from a mattress on the floor. There are bags and boxes all over like someone is on the process of moving out. The only piece of furniture is the bedside table squeezed between the wall and the bed. This is going to be a hassle.

“Um…”

Otabek sighs, still by the door. “The mattress is mine, we can sit there. Mila would throw a fit if she found us on her bed.”

Yuri sits on the edge, it looks clean, but he’s not certain it is.

“I tried to visit you again a couple of times but couldn't find you.” He takes one of the cups and passes the other one to Yuri, leaving the tray on top of a box while he sits. They are side by side, as close as they were last week.

“I got bored of being in my room, needed a bit of fresh air.” Yuri holds his hot chocolate to his lips and blows. The coming storm makes it a perfect drink.

Otabek says nothing, he only stares at his own cup. A week of silence does set things back a bit, but that isn't important now. It wasn't ever, Yuri just lost sight of what matters for a moment. He drinks, the chocolate has reached its perfect temperature.

Yuri gets closer, pressing his side to Otabek. He is hunching, so Yuri has to lean over to see his face properly. He smiles. “What's wrong?”

“I thought you were avoiding me,” Otabek says, with a voice so small Yuri strains to hear it.

“Of course not, every day I wanted to see you.”

It works in an instant. Otabek raises his head, a strong emotion he can't decipher on his eyes, it’s not good. Yuri licks his lips. They are close, his hands shake. He lets them and tips the mug over Otabek’s torso and legs. He blew on it enough to not make it too painful a burn, still, Otabek stands quickly. “Sorry, sorry.”

He waves his hands over the wet area, not knowing where to start. “It’s not your fault, it’s not hot, just ...argh, I'll go clean up. Wait here, please.” He walks around some boxes to the bathroom.

“I'll clean the floor.” Yuri looks for towels or a cleaning rag but in the mess it's impossible.

“We don't have anything to do it with.” He takes off his shirt and throws it. “Clean it with that, it's already dirty.” He locks himself in the bathroom before Yuri can process it.

He waits a few minutes and when the shower turns on, he starts his search. He has to do it fast before Otabek showers or Mila comes back.

The room is such a cramped pigsty, where should he start? The proof could be anywhere, in one of the boxes, the bedside table, even inside the mattress. This could take several trips. If he had a stolen memory box, where would he hide it? He wouldn't, he’d destroy it. Yuri facepalms. If it’s destroyed then there is no way to prove it and it was all for nothing.

But if it isn't, close to the bed in case he wants to see something or check on it. Yuri jumps on the mattress and searches the blankets and pillows, his scent is very strong. When he finds nothing, he moves to the boxes. It's mostly clothes, Otabek has a good style but there are a few questionable sweaters. Another one is full of mechanical pieces. Potya meows from somewhere to his left, close the bathroom door. She stands on an almost hidden box. It’s a desperate moment, he’ll follow the cat.

Inside the box is another box, wooden and with a lock. He can pick it, for the first time, Katsuki's paranoia will be useful. Yuri can almost hear him say “we could need the skill someday” all over again. Mila should have hairpins he can use. He searches her bedside table, which is covered in tissues, an old, dirty plate, and hair ties. Out of all people, the pigs turn out to be the ones that look so tidy.

He finds one under the plate, it leaves his hands sticky and disgusting but it doesn't matter. The other one he gets from her bed. Yuri stretches out the first and is bending the second one when it slips from his hand and falls under the bedside table. In the bathroom, the shower turns off.

Yuri throws himself to the floor fast and almost dies. He hasn’t fully healed yet. After cursing his pain and stupidity, he sticks his hand into the darkness under the drawer. “Please don't be spiders, please don't be spiders. Or a rat that eats my hand,” he mutters.

Something touches his leg and Yuri jumps, hitting the bottom of the drawer with his fist. He sits, ready to kill and stops. It's Potya again. The bathroom door opens and Otabek comes out in a towel. Yuri turns his eyes elsewhere because he doesn't stare at people while they change. Unlike others.

“Forgot to bring clothes.” He stops by one of the boxes and pulls out shirts and sweatpants, piling the rejects on another one.

A flash of color in Potya’s paw catches his eye, Yuri takes it from her and turns to the drawer. When he hit it, the bottom came out, and he sits on the floor with a pile of Mila’s underwear right behind him. His heart races. No one can be allowed to see that under any circumstances.

“What are you doing over there?”

Shit, shit. The bed covers him from view but he needs to get rid of Otabek now. Before he sees everything and thinks he’s some sort of pervert. “Potya was trying to break a plate, I came to stop her.”

Otabek takes his time to answer as if trying to decide if he is full of shit or not. After so long that Yuri can almost feel back pain and a long white beard form of his face, Otabek nods and heads to the bathroom with his clothes.

There is no time to admire how the light hits his back, or the little, stray droplets that run down his body, he has to get that underwear in its proper place. Later, when he is in the clear, he can scrub his hands clean until they bleed. Why do these things happen to him?

First, he separates all the clothes that fell out from the ones still stuck. Then puts the bottom back on its place, opens it and grabs fistfuls of underwear. He shoves them in. His right hand hits something hard. Right with his knuckles.

That. Fucking. Witch. What does she keep in there? Yuri holds his hurt hand to his face and gives it a tiny healing kiss.

What he hit is her handbag, hidden among the clothes. It’s the one she wears in her time off at weekends. The intricate decorative metals seem to mock him. Yuri already invaded her privacy, might as well commit to it and rummage through it. It’s small and so full it’s hard to fully make out the contents. At a simple glance, it fits her wallet, some makeup, jewelry and hygiene products. Everything is thrown together so he empties it onto the floor.

It glistens in the light right away. Gold and purple and way too familiar. In his own wrist is a similar bracelet, one in gold and yellow. It’s Michele’s. Mila has Michele’s travel bracelet. Yuri picks it up to examine closer. He throws everything back to the bag and in the drawer and goes back to the mattress on his knees.

No, no, no. It can't be. It can't be because that would mean…

Yuri holds his stomach with both hands, the edges of the bracelet between them dents his skin. His breath becomes shallow, emptiness takes over him.

The hand that settles on his cheek, though gentle, is cold. “Are you okay? Yuri?”

Yuri bites his lip, it's trembling too much. Weakness shouldn't be shown to the enemy. “I feel sick, I need to use your bathroom.” Without waiting for Otabek to answer, he goes into the bathroom, accidentally hitting his shoulder in the way.

Once there, he locks the door and sits against it on the floor. Michele is dead. Mila murdered him and took his bracelet. Saved it as some sort of sick trophy. The rescue mission is the top priority now. Georgi could be in danger, if not yet dead.

How is he supposed to break the news to Sara? Yuri sniffs and tries to clean the tears from his face. Otabek can't get suspicious. They might kill him too if they figure out that he knows. He takes out his phone and sends a quick message to the Traveler group chat to pick him up from Otabek’s room.  Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is not the sort of proof he expected to find.

Yuri takes the bracelet out from his pocket again. It's still in perfect condition, undamaged save from a couple droplets of blood.

Mila comes back while he sits there, her voice muffled by the door. When she talks, his insides freeze. He doesn't want to die, not yet, not here, not because of her. Returning the bracelet to her bag won't be possible now. Yuri takes a couple of deep breaths, his hands won't stop shaking. They will find him out in no time like this.

“I’m so tired,” she says, her voice a bit clearer. “I can't believe that fucker won't listen. Starting to think of just killing him and saving myself all the trouble.”

She knows he's here. How does she know? Those stupid mugs. She will kill him for not staying away from her Beka. He should have listened, he should have.

“No one would mind if you did.”

That fucking asshole, the least he can do is pretend while there’s a chance Yuri can hear him. He must have been in on the murder too. And here he was, worrying he was another one of Mila’s victims, wondering if he needed rescuing.

Their voices drop in volume, he has to strain to hear what comes next.

“Should take Yuri out too while I'm at it.”

Chills run down his back. This is what he gets for stretching his hearing capabilities to the limit.

“Don't joke about that. What you did wasn't funny, Mila. If you won't behave for me then do it for Nikolai, please.”

“I barely touched him,” she scoffs.

“With your right arm. You broke his ribs and you knew you were doing it.” They grow louder the angrier they get.

“Whatever, let's not fight. I’ll go get some food.”

The noise from the other side stops. The time to leave has come. He doesn't get up from the floor, his legs won't listen to him.

There's a knock on the door. “Yuri, Mila will come back any minute, it's better if you leave. Do you want me to walk you to your room?”

“No, my friends are coming.”

  
  


It takes him about ten minutes to be fully calm and able to leave the bathroom. With the bracelet hidden in the hood of his jacket, he says a quick goodbye to Otabek and leaves, no one is here for him yet. Not that he needs them but it’d be nice to have someone there, in case Mila finds him.

Still, relief floods his body and he rests his forehead on the closed door. That was close, so close.

“Thought I told you to stay away.” Mila’s tone is cold, Yuri can't even answer back. His insides freeze again.  He turns and walks back to his room. She doesn’t question his stiff posture. A Traveler meeting needs to happen as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but eventful. We're almost halfway there!  
> <3


	8. Stealing Your Mind

“I’ve known Mikey was dead for a few days now, but I couldn’t prove it. My memories are still hazy. I remember some of it but not why we stayed longer than we should have, or even how long that was, only that we did. We tinkered with our bracelets, then we were on the run, someone was hunting us.” Sara trembles, tears running down her face. For once, Michele is not by her side.

Victor sits next to her, rubbing her back, Kenjirou on her other side. They take one end of the table. JJ passes her a box of tissues and keeps a couple for himself. Yakov and Yuri listen quietly from their seats.

“I have flashes of memories that I don't know how to describe or make sense of. I only know I was afraid. It was just the two of us and then I was alone and Mikey was dead. I think… I think I knew I was next. By the damage done to my body, I can tell I made several Leaps. I don't know where I went or what I did there. I don't know if the changes done to time were done by me or them.”

“So you believe Yuri?” Victor is still incredulous.

“I believe someone was there, someone that didn't belong and that they killed Mikey.”

Kenjirou clears his throat, his eyes focused on his hands. “If I made it out of the machine into a different timeline than the one I created, isn't it possible that these other people are also from another one?”

“I did see four arrival lights that day.” Lilia should be here so he could say ‘I told you so’.

“So, Kenjirou, Sara,” Victor says as he ticks off his fingers, “and two unknown Travelers from unknown timelines, and we don't know if they travel together or alone. One of them kills Mikey for reasons unknown, maybe pure evil or maybe to stop a change. That's what we have so far, right? It’s not much to go on.”

“No, you're forgetting something. I found the bracelet on Mila’s handbag. She is the mystery Traveler, and Otabek is her companion.”

“Everyone noticed when we Rippled here; they knew about us not being theirs right away, they would have with them too, and they don't have bracelets.”

“You can’t know that.” JJ puts his palms up, trying to calm them. “We would have to check their wrist or ankles, anywhere they could be wearing it.”

All the blood in Yuri’s body rushes to his face in that instant, calling everyone’s attention.

Victor smiles, victorious and mocking. “Something you want to share?”

“I-I saw—” he clears his throat. “Otabek’s not wearing it on his wrist, or anywhere else. Unless…” When Victor starts giggling, he puts his head on the table and covers it with his arms. Is it even possible to wear it there? Why would anyone… fuck. “That proves nothing on Mila.”

“Even if it’s not them, we should consider the possibility that the people sent to kill Mikey don't come from an unknown timeline, but this one.” JJ has a point, though he would have noticed if anyone else was acting suspiciously.

“That would explain why they didn't notice a difference in them, and why Lilia insisted that only two Travelers made it out. Because they sent their own and didn't want us to know. Because they killed our group.”

Victor holds the bridge of his nose and laughs incredulously. “Are you even listening to yourself? You’re making no sense. Their timeline didn't…”

A debate then starts between all of them as they try to decide when a timeline is created, why they would want them dead, and what can and can’t be changed. The truth is, none of them have any fucking idea how this works exactly. Not even Yakov. They would need Nikolai to tell them which of them is right, and they're not going to give away their knowledge.

“Enough.” Yakov slams his palm on the table so hard it vibrates a few seconds and makes them shut up. “I'll call Lilia and Nikolai, and we can speak with them. There are things all of you need to know.”

As soon as he finishes talking, the alarm sounds. While it’s different from the fire alarm, it also tries to destroy their hearing. It rings three times, then the doors seal shut and a sheet of metal slides over the windows. They’ve gone into lockdown.

“They heard us, they heard what we talked about and now they're coming for us.” Yuri smacks JJ on the head for his dumbass comments. That stupid tendency of his to get carried away so fast isn’t helpful. He’ll send them all into a panic if he keeps that up. What they need is to keep a cool head.

They prepare themselves with kitchen knives and other household items they are able to find and wait by the entrance, but an hour goes by and no one comes. If JJ was right, they would’ve come for them already, right? Is it some sort of psychological tactic? Get them more and more anxious until they attack themselves? If so, they won’t last much, Yakov is already throwing murderous glances their way as he insists on keeping calm.

After relocating to the table again, they sit in silence, a rule made to keep JJ in check without having to exile him to an empty room, each still with a hand on their knife. At least it was also effective in stopping their arguing.

Three hours after the alarm, at dawn, Yakov’s screen turns on on its own, and they hurry to crowd in front of it. Lilia and Nikolai both appear.

They are somber, with tired eyes and dark circles. “One of our residents was found dead by security earlier today,” Lilia says. “Lockdown will be lifted as soon as we confirm the grounds are safe. Remember the safety tips that…”

Holy shit. They show a picture of the dead guy on the screen. When he was alive, not of his dead body. This community might be full of murderers but at least they’re not into sensationalism.

“That's the one I told you about. The one Mila and Otabek kept harassing.” The one she talked about killing earlier, right before mentioning Yuri as her next target.

“You think they killed him?” Kenjirou rests his hand on Yuri’s shoulder.

“I know she did.”

  
  


Lockdown is lifted an hour after the announcement. Despite their protests, Yakov calls Nikolai and Lilia to join in on their meeting. It’s agreed they get to keep their knives. Half an hour later, they drag their feet in and drink a pot of coffee each, but it doesn’t help much. Neither one has rested, they should tape their eyelids open in case they run out of energy mid-talk.

Even from opposite sides if the room, it is clear Nikolai has one foot on the grave. Someone should give him the little push he needs to tip him over. Maybe then he’ll stop staring at Yuri, he and Otabek should open a club.

Yakov fills them both in. No one dares interrupt him. “That's why I called the meeting. These kids think Mila is behind everything and even accused you of sending her to kill them.”

The others are as tense and in the dark as he is, and as ready to attack. This is a mistake, they shouldn't be sharing this information with potential enemies.

Nikolai removes his hat and runs a hand through his messy, sweaty hair. “We couldn't decide on what the right thing to do was, but now that it’s reached this point it's better to fill you in on what's been happening.”

“Shortly after the Ripple, a few bodies appeared outside our grounds. Murder is not unusual here, and I'm sure it wasn't in your timelines either, so we thought nothing of it.” Lilia pauses, massaging her temple. “Whoever was doing that stopped, but started sending us anonymous messages calling for us to fix the machine. Then our residents started getting sick. They claim credit for that and threatened to kill one of ours if we didn’t start work on it soon. Despite the amounts of people living here, this project was kept secret for years. We don't know how the information leaked. Someone is out there with the knowledge, we don't know what they want besides a fix.”

“The body we found today had a message carved on it. There are no other signs of violence and it doesn’t seem to be the cause of death. The security footage was altered. We don't know who did this but we know they have found a way inside,” Nikolai says.

“Neither Otabek or Mila are involved in any time murders. We don't know how the bracelet made it there but they are not Travelers,” Lilia says before they can start shouting theories. “If it makes you feel better, we can bring them in for questioning. Mila’s problems with Alek are common knowledge. This won't be the only time the accusation heads her way. As for the explosion and the box, I will have a talk with Otabek. He will explain.” She sighs and shakes her head.

Victor and Yuri speak at the same time, creating a garble of words that mix together.

“You believe me.”

“You think Mila was framed?”

Yuri stays silent and settles for sending a smile Lilia’s way. Victor repeats his question.

“We do.”

“But how would anyone know Yuri would find it,” Kenjirou points out. “No offense but that seems a little far-fetched.”

“Did you tell someone about the plan?”

“Only everyone.” Victor laughs.

“You did shout it at the breakfast table one day.” How has no one sown JJ’s mouth shut yet? “You made a scene, everyone was looking at you.”

“Okay, okay. I get it, shut up already.” They don’t have to keep bringing it up every time they have a chance.

“If that's all, you'll have to excuse me, my bed is calling.” Lilia walks out, followed by Sara.

Nikolai walks towards Yuri and tries to touch his head. Not on this lifetime old man, he hits his hand away and makes his way out, not turning back when his name is called.

* * *

 

He can’t spend the entire day catching up on lost sleep, Kenjirou wakes him up at noon, just a few hours later. It isn't uncommon that he does but the grim face is. Yuri holds back a groan, now what?

“We have a problem, Yuuri wants us to meet him at the tree.”

Yuri is off the bed in an instant, he doesn't even bother to change his clothes or take a look in the mirror. In three minutes, they are at the tree with Victor, JJ, and Katsudon. All in a similar state of dishevelment. He crosses his arms, his pajamas are not fit for the crisp day.

Katsudon is out of breath. “Phichit didn’t come back last night. He never does that but I let it pass, what with everything that went down yesterday. This morning I went jogging and found his phone near the fruit trees. Phichit would never lose his phone like that, I'm afraid something terrible happened to him. I don't know what to do.” He breaks into tears.

This is all too familiar. Phichit will be alright this time, there won’t be a depressed piggy on this timeline, not on their watch.

Victor grabs Katsudon’s arm and pulls him into a hug. “Oh Yuuri, you know we will help you look. You're not alone in this.”

 

* * *

 

Phichit is a beloved member of the community, everyone that is free to do so joins in his search. They form groups and look everywhere, the city, the roads, even the woods nearby. They find nothing. No one mentions it, but when a new day comes and bodies are found nearby, they are always on the lookout, worried and relieved when the body isn't his.

Had it been the murderer that was behind his disappearance, they would have found the body already. There is always the more terrible option that he is being kept alive and tortured.

For three days, they take turns, but the storm finally arrives. It's strong, deadly and forces them to stop. Never has Yuri or the other Travelers experienced a storm like that. They raise the Donut’s roof to protect the inside. It’s a pastime of the residents to sit in the center and look at the rainfall over and around the new dome. The buildings will resist, but the fruit trees won't, a lot of damage is expected. At least the flower garden wouldn't get destroyed again.

If there was any trace of Phichit left, it's gone by now.

The days are tense and quiet, no one knows how long the storm will last. Three layers of clothes become normal. Yuri sees snow for the first time through his window, Kenjirou besides himself with happiness. Work outside the main building keeps going, thanks to the underground tunnels connecting to the others.

The residents don't know many of the details, but it doesn’t keep them from guessing and gossiping. Rumors that they might be locked inside with a murderer doesn't make it easy. It's slow, but the accusing looks appear, along with mistrust and unrest. No one says it outright, but they tend to center on a couple of people; Mila most notably.

She and Otabek are called into questioning but left free. The public doesn't take kindly to that, not even when they officially announce the death was by natural causes. In a way, it’s true, someone infected him with a virus that killed him straight away  _ and then _ carved his body. It was the natural failure of it to fight the virus, not the carving, that did him in. The rumors don’t stop, and some of the older residents start to show signs of reaching their limits. Only the warning that the council will kick anyone out in a heartbeat if they do them harm stops them. Still, the two of them stop showing up to meals.

 

* * *

 

Nikolai stops Yuri at the cafeteria one morning. He tries to get away but this time he hands him a tray of food and pushes him until he walks on his own. With no other option, he follows Nikolai to Otabek’s room. It doesn't matter what anyone says, they haven't proved to Yuri that the two of them are innocent. No one bothered to explain, he doesn't want to go into a room with murderers.

Mila opens the door, she is a wreck. Her hair is a tangled mess that might not have been washed or brushed in days, her eyes red and skin sallow. Yuri shoves the tray into her hands and turns to leave. Nikolai holds him by the shoulders, turns him around and pushes him in.

Otabek is there, he seems better than Mila but not by much. His hair looks more recently washed but it's undone and falling all over the place. Being the stoic type has its uses, the rest of his face and body give nothing away.

Mila leaves the tray on top of a box, then runs into Nikolai’s arms. They hold each other in a display of affection so disgusting, he has to turn away before he barfs.

Otabek gives an awkward wave, if he is trying to be friendly he’ll have to do the same. Yuri forces a half smile that might come off as a grimace. Mila’s muffled sobs aren’t the right background for a conversation.

Somehow the room is even more of a pigsty than it was last time. There are clothes on the floor and random pieces of shattered glass around the side of Mila’s bed.

“You know it wasn't us, Grandpa, right?”

Yuri makes a noise with the back of his throat and goes to sit with Otabek. The curtain separating their space keeps them away from sight. Lilia pretty much admitted he’d been right about the fire and robbery. They both know it, now what? Nothing should stand between them and a honest conversation but it’s impossible to bridge the gap between them.

They sit in silence while Nikolai talks to Mila. A few times, Otabek opens his mouth, then he seems to think better of it and says nothing. Yuri isn't doing much better. This would be easier if they were alone. For once, he isn’t going to take the initiative, not without getting that box first.

When Nikolai finally leaves, allowing Yuri do so too, he can only offer a small wave. Now that he is free of him, he walks out of the room at a slower pace so that they don’t have to return together. It works, when he makes it out, no one is in the hall. The door slides shut, Yuri rests his head on it, then runs his fingernails up and down, scratching it.

“Are you even planning to tell him?” Yuri’s heart skips a beat. Mila’s voice came through very clear. If it’s this easy to overhear conversations, he’ll have to be more careful of what he talks about with Kenjirou from now on.

“It's not the right time.”

“Excuses, Beka. Lilia is right, he needs to know if he wants to make a life here. It's not fair to withhold this information from him.” After a moment of silence, she adds,“Didn't take you for a coward.”

“I’m not, I'm just—he's not—what if he…”

“Please, spare me the bullshit. Grandpa invited us to dinner again today, I think he's lonely.”

Yuri leaves.

 

* * *

 

 

He waits a few more days for Otabek to decide the right time has come. When he doesn't, he loses his patience and goes to see Lilia. There is a lack of surprise when she opens her door to find him there as if he visited her every day at the same time. She invites him into her home without a word of greeting. Mila and Otabek are already there, sitting on her couch and drinking tea.

That's what they’ve been doing while he drives himself crazy with the possible explanations. He was calm and gave them time and the benefit of the doubt and they don't have the fucking decency to tell him. They just go spend a nice afternoon drinking tea with an old woman.

“Yuri, perfect timing. Tea?” Lilia ignores Mila and Yuri’s competition of who can make the other explode with their eyes first. “I fear the problem here has been a lack of communication. Otabek, the truth. Now.” She turns her severe eyes to him. “Did you steal from Yuri?”

Otabek keeps his eyes focused on his tea, he nods. “I caused the explosion too. I'll pay for the repairs, Lilia.”

Ha, he was right, take that everyone that thought he was crazy. Victor should be here to see his triumph.

Lilia walks to his side and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Otabek, I understand this is a difficult situation for you, but you need to return it. This has gone long enough. Yuri needs to know the truth. You have until tomorrow or I will do it myself,” she says in a soft but firm voice.

Otabek’s hands shake, threatening to spill the tea. Mila has to take the cup from him and leave it on the table to prevent him from splashing the couch.

Yuri’s stomach turns. He’ll know the truth tomorrow, no turning back. It seems Lilia knows already and they're not going to kick Otabek out. This is not going at all as planned, and he has no problem with that.


	9. As You Are

Otabek keeps his word and delivers the box early in the morning. His eyes still won’t meet Yuri’s. It’s the longest it has gone since they met.

“When you see this, you will understand.” His voice is rough. “Please don't look at more than you need to. And don't judge me too harshly.”

That doesn't help at all. Yuri nods and receives the box, the collar wrapped around it. After so long and so much, it’s finally in his hand. Otabek leaves slowly, his movements jerkier than usual. Nothing will ever be the same after this. It's better this way.

Kenjirou waits for him on the made bed, cross-legged and giving little jumps. Yuri sits in front of him and puts the box between them.

“Are you sure you don't want to do this alone?”

Yuri shakes his head, the way everyone talks, it’s evident something important is in that box. If he were left to do it alone, he would stare at it for eternity. All those secrets, to be worth all the trouble, would have to be life-changing.

Kenjirou holds his hand, it settles the storm in Yuri’s body. With a deep breath, he lets go of his hand and turns on the box. They follow JJ’s instructions to display it without having the immersive experience.

Light comes out the top, forming the options in front of them on a holographic touchscreen.

Yuri raises his hand to touch Otabek’s tab, then brings it back down without having done so. He can't do it. It didn't happen in an ideal way but they became friends, sort of, this could change that forever. This could be a test, if he sees whatever is in there Otabek will hate him and never want to see him again. They could just ignore this ever happened and conti—

Kenjirou touches the tab. “There, now it's done. You’re welcome.”

Yuri would throttle him if it wasn't for all the memories calling his attention. There are so many of them. Should he continue with the last one or watch a new one? Kenjirou’s finger is in the air again. Yuri hurries to press the same memory as last time before he gets the option to do so taken away again.

It starts the same way, yet the experience is completely different, more detached. He can see what Yurio did, but he can’t feel or smell. The sensations aren't there.

This time, Yuri is better at catching things about Otabek. No longer is he as emotionless as he once seemed, as he chases after him. The slight stiffness in his walk, the way his shoulders tense, they’re familiar now.

Yurio slams Otabek against the wall and grabs him by the jacket. It seems to be progressing faster than the last time. It’s also much more one-sided than he remembers. In no time, they are at the moment the explosion and alarm interrupted at. Those mystery words from Otabek turn out to be a bunch of meaningless stammering. Like the one he spied on, five years and he hasn't changed much.

Yurio doesn't shout at him again, but he also doesn't let him finish talking. The image has been blurry for a while now, the sound distorted. Yurio was so angry at the time that he started to rage cry. There is an abrupt movement and the image cuts out.

That can't be the end, it’s been messed with. Otabek tampered with it somehow. That asshole, Lilia will hear about this, how dare he. There's a strange sound, then the image returns. It's too close and too blurry to understand what is happening.

Kenjirou giggles, can't he see this is fucking serious? What is he—Aw fuck. Yeah, it's happening. They’re kissing. A lot. He’d have noticed right away if he’d been sensory connected but with only the images to go by, it hadn't been very clear. Fuck.

It turns out to be some very passionate kissing with no sign of stopping. The noises? All coming from the two of them. Yuri stops it himself, no need to find out how long the memory goes or what follows. Kenjirou laughs, leaning back so much he falls back on the bed, there are even tears rolling down his face. Great, by this time tomorrow everyone will know. If they don't already. Oh, now it all makes sense.

“He was your boyfriend.” Kenjirou can barely talk. “We should've seen this coming. It was so obvious.”

Yuri's face gets warmer by the second. “Shut up!” He pushes him off the bed with his feet. At least that stops the laughter for a bit. “Get out.” He can go sleep with his brother, or with the dog for all he cares right now, he doesn't want him here anymore. This is alone time from now on.

“But I don't have anywhere to be. I think Yuuri is with Victor.”

“You have a sister too or go with JJ. Whatever, just get out.” He throws a pillow at his dumb face as he gets up and heads to the door. It hits him on the shoulder.

The door opens, but he stands there without moving. “Oh, I get it. Yuri wants some alone time with his boyfriend.” He winks and runs out of the room fast, this time Yuri throws their bedside lamp and hits the closing door. It doesn't break, ruining his dramatic moment.

He lays back and muffles his screams on a pillow.

There’s no point in finishing the memory. In the end, the confession was that, a love confession. Out of all the things he fantasized about, that had not been one of them, though it stared him in the face for so long. That they were together when he was fifteen doesn't mean they were until the Ripple. They could have been a quick, casual fling.

Other memories will tell him if that’s the case. He changes the settings and the screen disappears. Clasping the collar is a task, his trembling hands won't let him do much. The sensory connection will make everything easier. Give him a better understanding of the scene and feelings, that can’t be what Otabek was hiding. Why go through all the trouble if it was? All he had to do was say ‘I might have been with him but I'm not with you’ and that’d be that.

Time to experience life as Yurio did. He freezes again, trying to decide what memory to see next. There are so many, the thumbnail and names don't give much away. The Otabek tab is best left for later. His mother is a good place to start, those memories should be short, few, and not much different from his own.

It's not an invasion of privacy if the person is yourself, right? These people are, in a way, related to him now. He chooses one of the most watched in the section, also one of the first.

 

_ He is held, tight and warm, in Mom’s arms. Her heartbeat lulls him to sleep as she hums a song that vibrates in his head. Every so often, her thin fingers run through his hair and she kisses the top of it. _

_ “I love you.” _

 

The memory ends. That was… weird. His eyes prickle. That song must be very common, it was the same one Otabek hummed to him that day.

The first time he used the box, he’d been so stuck in his own head that it affected the way he viewed it. An intruder that couldn't understand a special moment and misinterpreted it. Now that he lets himself go and get lost in it, it’s a different experience. Like becoming someone else in that short time span.

He hugs a pillow to his chest. Mother isn't here now, so she couldn't have meant what she said. She still left. There are other entries, Yurio had contact with her throughout his life. He picks the one that follows it by date.

 

_ “I didn't want this for me and I don't want this for my child. Why can't you understand that?” _

_ “What is there to understand? This is his destiny. He was born to be a Traveler and change the world.” _

_ “No, he was born to live life the way he fucking wants to.” _

_ “He wants to do this. He came to me and asked to start training.” _

_ “Because you keep telling him it's what he was born to do! You are already training other people, let them do it.” _

_ Yuri is in bed, pretending to sleep while Grandpa and Mom argue just outside his room. Their voices get louder and angrier. Yuri turns, giving his back to the door and covering his head with a pillow. With his hand, he holds his mouth shut. _

 

That one is similar enough to his own. He slides into the next one.

 

_ Little Yuri hugs his mother in an empty kitchen, on the counter is a birthday cake with a big number six on it. _

_ She sobs in his arms, and his entire body shakes. Her hold is painful. _

_ “I’m sorry, Yuri, baby. I can't take you with me right now, but as soon as I'm settled somewhere, I will send for you. You understand?” Mom let's go to look him in the eyes, not blinking even once. Her fingernails dig into his arms. _

_ He nods and pats her head with shaky hands. _

_ “Good baby. Remember to behave with Grandpa and that Mommy loves you. I promise I will send for you soon.” She brushes his hair back and kisses his forehead. _

_ Yuri nods again and hugs his mother. _

 

At least this one talked to her son before leaving, even if it was to fill him with lies. It’s better than disappearing on your family one day never to come back. Next.

 

_ Yuri waits, sitting on a bench in a beautiful park. There aren't a lot of people around, it’s too cold for that. A blonde woman sits next to him. Her hair is longer, her clothes nicer, and she is shorter than the last time they were together. _

_ At first, neither one speaks, preferring to observe the couple of children at play with their pets. _

_ “I'm glad you finally accepted to meet me, baby.” _

_ “Don't call me that. I'm only doing this because Grandpa insisted.” _

_ “Don't be angry, Yuri. I know it took too long but we can now be together. We can start over, be a family again. You'll have a dad and maybe a little sibling at some point.” She holds his chin. “Look at you, you're so pretty you'll fit right in. No one would believe you don't belong there.” _

_ Yuri snorts and knocks her hand away. “I don't believe this. You actually think I would go with you. Thanks for sending Potya, she is great and I love her, and I might have agreed to talk with you but that doesn't mean I forgive you. I have a mission as a Traveler. I won't leave that, not for you. Not for anyone.” _

_ She blinks several times and looks down.“If you ever change your mind tell me, I will send for you right away.” _

_ He leaves without saying more or a look back. Not far from there Grandpa waits, along with Beka and Potya. Yuri smiles. _

 

The most shocking thing about that isn't that Yurio’s mom came back for real, that she wanted him and loved him. It was that he was the original owner of Potya.

That's enough with the mother memories. Nothing interesting is happening with them. If he ever has time, he will finish them, onto other stuff, like the Nikolai ones. What was that old man up to?

The first memory is a birthday party. Why not?

 

_ Happy 12th birthday, the banners on the wall say. It's a small party, only three people, counting him, sit at the table. Plus a cute baby cat with a bow on her head. _

_ Grandpa and Beka sing for him, the latter keeping the kitty from getting on the cake. Yuri’s smile is as wide as his face will let him. _

_ During the last verse of the song, Beka's voice cracks. Yuri bursts out laughing, he gets a grunt in response. Grandpa’s phone rings, he leaves the room to take it. Potya jumps from Beka’s arms to follow him, the little bow bouncing up and down. _

_ “It’s not that funny.” _

_ “It really is.” _

_ In revenge, Beka gets a bit of icing on his finger and smears it on Yuri’s cheek. _

_ “Hey.” Yuri tries to get his hands on the cake too but Beka is fast and holds him away. He grabs both of his wrists with his bionic hand, his grip is too strong, all his struggles are in vain. With his other hand, he puts more icing on his nose, chin, and cheeks. _

_ “Stop,” he says, laughing. _

_ Grandpa comes back, he lifts his eyebrows at them. Beka doesn’t let go.“Yuri, your Mom wants to talk with you.” He holds his phone out. The screen is dark, it’s not a video call. _

_ It takes Yuri a minute or two to free himself and grab the phone, quick to clean the icing with his sleeve. _

_ “If you take too long she'll think you hung up.” _

_ “I know.” Yuri walks into the bathroom with the phone close to his chest. Once there, he stops pretending to be handling it well and sits on the floor, head in his left hand. “Hello? Mom?” _

_ “Yuri, baby, Happy Birthday.” He lets out a long, shaky breath. “Did you like your present?” _

_ “Yeah, we na—" _

_ “Listen, mommy doesn't have much time. Have you thought about we talked about? About coming to live with me? I know you don't want to leave your friends there, but you can make new ones here. Why, my friend has the cutest girl around your age, you would get along…” _

_ Yuri holds the phone away from his ear, after a couple of seconds of her voice coming out of it nonstop, he hangs up. Taking a deep breath, he walks back into the kitchen. It rings in his hand, he doesn’t answer, it’s Mother again. Grandpa takes the phone and goes to his room to keep arguing with her. _

_ “You ok?” Beka rests a hand on his shoulder and lifts his chin with the other. _

_ “It was the same again, she wants me to go live with her.” _

_ “Oh.” Beka’s voice cracks again, and it's as if he can't hold Yuri’s eyes. “What did you tell her?” _

_ “Nothing, I hung up.” _

_ His mouth twitches slightly and looks back at Yuri, then out the window to the sunset. “I have to go, Mom wanted me there before dark.” His hold on Yuri’s shoulders gets a little tighter, his eyes dart between the door and Yuri’s own. Beka bites his lower lip and leaves teeth marks on it. Finally, he seems to make his mind and leans forward to leave a kiss on Yuri’s cheek, near the corner of his mouth. He comes away licking his lips. “You had cake,” is all he says before leaving. _

_ Yuri stands there, his feet frozen but his head on fire. His fingers find the spot Beka’s lips touched. It still tingles. _

_ When he turns, it’s to find Grandpa leaning against the wall, holding back a smile. _

_ Both his hands shoot up to cover his face. “I-I had cake.” _

_ “Of course you did.” Grandpa ruffles his hair. “We need to talk. Your mother thinks I'm poisoning you against her and that's why you won't live with her.” _

_ “I don't hear from her for six years and she expects me to run into her arms the moment she comes back?” _

_ They sit at the table and cut a large slice of cake for each. _

_ “I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to, but think about it. It can be anywhere you feel comfortable and for as long as you'd like.” _

_ Yuri pouts, then mutters, “She wants me to abandon everyone and live with her. You, Beka, the mission. I can't do it, Grandpa.” _

_ “You don't have to. It'll only be so that she can see you're okay. I can be there, and I'm sure Otabek would be glad to go if you asked.” _

 

Yuri ends the memory before its time and exits the tab in no mood to continue with them. Even the ones in other people’s tabs somehow end up featuring Otabek. What’s the point in that? Might as well watch his and get it over with. Should've done it since the start instead of going on that useless tangent.

Back in the Otabek tab, there are so many of them he takes a full five minutes to consider where to start. All of them probably contain mushy shit so he picks one at random.

 

_ Yuri holds the curtains open, taking in the rain horizontally crossing the window. The breath coming from his mouth is visible, it fogs the window. He draws a quick Y. _

_ On the bed, Beka waits for him in his three layers of loose, old knitted sweaters. When he lets go of the curtains, the room falls into darkness. The light that reaches through is barely enough to distinguish each other's forms. _

_ He sits next to Beka, hugs him and buries his face in his neck, breathing deeply. A wide, satisfied smile on his face. _

_ Beka moves away and when Yuri whines, he gives him a sweet peck on the lips. He removes the first sweater and throws it, it hits Yuri straight in the face. _

_ Right as he throws it to the floor, another hits him in the face and gets tangled in his head, he can’t stop laughing. When he gets rid of that one Beka has already taken off the last one plus his two shirts. On his knees, he moves forward to straddle him. He kisses Yuri, first on the lips, then on the jaw, and makes his way down his neck. _

 

Bad decision. Bad decision. This was a bad decision. Yuri rips the collar off his neck, his heart beating fast and his whole body on fire. It was too real. This was a bad fucking idea. Be it by his own desires or an effect of the memory, Yuri’s body is reacting and now he has a big problem starting in his pants.

Better to stop it now before it's too late. No wonder Otabek didn't want him anywhere near that. That is way too private. Not that the other things weren't but this is a whole new level. Due to their unique circumstances, he was given ownership but Yuri has no real claim to them.

The right thing to do is give them back, but why should he? He is Yuri too. If he wants to keep them, he can. If he wants to experience them, he can. If he wants to do what Yurio did, feel what he did, step into his life that wasn't as lame as he once suspected, he can.

But it’ll never be real. None of this belongs to him, the room he is in, the clothes he wears, the bed he sleeps in, the people he frequents. None of them are his, they never will be. They are all Yurio’s. And everything they see when they look at him is either the person they loved, an impostor, or the waste of space that caused their loss.

It was foolish to think he could have remained friends with Otabek. That he could live here and occupy the space someone else did and that they wouldn't mind. That no one would care. That only because nobody loved him, it was the same for Yurio.

They might both be Yuri, but they are not even close to being the same person. He’d known this from the start, but he hadn't _ known. _ He isn't defective in all the timelines, just one. There is something wrong with _ him. _

Keeping on like he has will only cause more pain and suffering to the ones that have to live with him. Those times Otabek tried to stay away make sense now. And Yuri had tortured him with his presence, all for some stupid reasons he covered with a shitty excuse.

He never cared about the explosion or any of the people living here. He only cared about himself. It’s disgusting. No wonder things turned out like this. It’s his existence that should have faded from reality, the one no one would miss. He should never have been a Traveler, his work is inconsequential and he is responsible for basically killing a better version of himself.

The knowledge is a knife to the heart. One that keeps twisting the longer he stays in that room. In that bed.

Everyone could have been happy. Yurio had a grandpa and a mom that loved him. A long-term boyfriend, and possibly a friend or rival in Mila. And he stripped it all away. He killed this person and tried to take his place, forcing them to spend time with him. With the stranger wearing their loved one’s face. Like a monster.

And still, they’re too kind to say anything. They let him parade around wearing his things, living in his room.

Breathing is getting harder by the second. He puts a hand to his chest, over the clothes of the person whose life he ended. Yuri strips of everything he wears as fast as he can, not caring if it rips in the process. He’ll have nothing of Yurio's at all. This is all theirs. They deserve to have it back and mourn in peace.

Finding the torn shorts and the now clean shirt he was wearing during the Ripple is is harder than it should be. They’re at the bottom of the fourth drawer he checks because he hasn't used anything that is actually his even once. They are his only possessions in the world. Everything else is Yurio’s.

Once he is done changing, he runs barefoot out the room and the dorms, and keeps on running until he reaches the nearest main door. They are sealed and hard to open, but he manages to do it in the end, opening one of them just enough to slip through. The wind snaps it shut moments later.

The storm is still going but not as strong as it was. It isn’t deadly anymore. The rain and the wind hit him sideways, thoroughly drenching and leaving him out of balance, his feet muddy. It hurts. It’s impossible to tell left from right, everything is the same under the dark, cloudy sky. Yuri picks a random direction and walks in it, away from any building. No one stops him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And he walks into the woods, never to be seen again. The End. Jk.  
> With this we break 50k!


	10. A Dream in Me

The rain doesn’t let out in the entire night. Yuri ends up running up a hill and sitting on the roots of a tree. He’s heard stories of people getting hit by lighting when doing that, but he doesn't get so lucky. At first, it’s uncomfortable, too hard on his butt and the mud too annoying, but as the hours go by, he grows numb.

The rain hits him every so often, not as hard as the day before. His whole body shivers, any second his teeth will break from so much chattering. He does nothing to cover himself, only plays with the little bracelet the kid gave him. A thank you for a job not done. He tries to take it off, it gets stuck in his hand and after a hard pull, it comes apart. The little beads fall everywhere among the roots, the mud, and even get taken away with the running water.

If lighting won't hit him then he can become one with the tree. He rests his head back, face to the sky. The rain stops, some drops that stuck to the leaves fall on him every once in a while. Sometime after, the sunlight hits his face. The storm breaks for the first time in days. Nothing is going well today.

A warm, heavy weight startles Yuri awake. It's a jacket, he looks to the branches above him.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” On his left, Otabek sits on the roots. He wears a light sweater, his arms crossed and breath visible. “Why did you run out dressed like that?”

“They’re the only clothes I have.” Yuri’s voice is weak and raw. He tries to give back the jacket but Otabek won't take it. He shouldn't be cold because of him.

“I've seen you wear—"

“Those were his, not mine.” The wind picks up, he takes a sharp breath and shivers.

“This can be yours now.” He pushes the jacket back, the look he gives him is nothing like the ones he gave Yurio. “I'm sorry I stole from you, Yuri. I really am. I know I should have told you from the start and asked you not to look but…” he trails off, too interested on kicking some roots to continue.

Yuri snorts and puts the jacket on with a little trouble, his body is stiff. His joints might shatter if he makes sudden movements. It's a little big, but comfortable. It also smells very nice. When he is alone he can try enjoying that a little more. “I would have looked out of spite if you had told me.”

Otabek leans back against the tree, it’s just wide enough for the two of them. Their arms touch. “We could've avoided much of this.”

Right, he wouldn’t have had to put up with him for so long.

“That would have been such a disaster.” Yuri shakes his head. “It's not like you could go, ‘Yo, if you're gonna use that, prepare to see my dick’.”

Otabek jumps and gapes at him with a deep blush.

“Which I didn't. I protected my innocent eyes and stopped it before it got too private.” He talks fast, his own face growing hot. “So, you're not sorry you exploded a closet and caused a fire?”

He covers his mouth with his hand and turns his face away. It’s almost like they’ve gone back in time to those first few days. “Don't tell anyone but, that part was fun.”

He shivers again, despite the jacket and the sun in his bare legs. The day is still cold, the storm could return any moment. Otabek gets closer and pulls him into his strong arms. Yuri turns to rest his cheek on his chest, pulling his knees close to keep warm. They shouldn’t do it, it isn't good for either of them.

“We can buy you some new clothes.” The kiss on the top of his head is definitely real this time, and just as life-altering when coupled with the hand running up and down his arm, warming him. “Get you some proper pants, were these a thing in your world?” He pulls a piece of the dirty ass torn short shorts twice. It tears off and he throws it away after a stuttered ‘shit’ among the ‘sorries’.

They are too tiny and thin for the climate. They could be considered underwear in this world. He wouldn’t be caught dead using them in other time periods either. He hides his face in his chest. “We were in the middle of a heatwave. Why did you come looking for me? Don't you hate me?”

“Yuri, I could never hate you. I do feel a bit responsible but that’s not why I’m here. I was worried about you.” His voice is unsteady and he’s gone back to fidgeting with the pieces of his shorts. “What about you? Do you hate me? I know I put you through a rough time.”

“No. I can't believe I was fucking right all along. Wasn't expecting that, to be honest.”

“Until the time murder at least.”

“Oh, yeah. I saw it in the memories.” It was visible in the ones where he was younger but on the older ones, it was unnoticeable. His arm, neck, side of the head, and other parts covered by clothes are bionic. “Leaps could be difficult for cyborgs. Deadly even. Not gonna lie, it was a relief. I thought I was ridiculously fragile compared to the people here.”

Otabek berates himself for tearing another piece of the short. Yuri’s laughter turns into more shivering so he puts his arm back around him. “Does it bother you? Were there any of us in your time?”

Yuri picks a loose thread on the sweater, two can play that game. “Only few could afford it. The disgustingly wealthy ones. Everyone else in need of them was fucked, and they weren't as advanced.” The arms around him tighten, it's impossible to tell that they aren't both the same. They're heaven and hell. “What's the deal with Mila and the greasy gang?”

“They used to come after our people a lot. Mila made a deal with them, I don't know the details. Most stay away now, they’re probably scared of her.”

That is completely understandable, only a fool wouldn’t be scared of that woman. Yuri is an idiot who didn’t get anything right beside the arson and stealing. He is lucky that alone is enough to save his reputation. There is still one thing that makes no sense. “Why did you agree to be my friend? Isn't it weird to befriend the dude that took over for your boyfriend?”

“I know you and Yura aren't the same person, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I still think we are alike and I like you enough to want to know you better.”

If he wants to be friends after he finds out the truth then Otabek will be the real deal in friendships. “Even if I befriended you to prove what you did and get you kicked out?”

The hand rubbing his back stops. “If you don't want to be friends that's okay.” His voice doesn't sound “okay."

“I didn't say that. Stop putting words in my mouth, asshole,” Yuri nearly shouts, but he continues in a mumble, “I kinda like you too.” Otabek’s heartbeat picks up. Yuri hides his face in his palms, smudging some mud in it. He’s also been getting Otabek all dirty.

“Then I'll be your friend for as long as you’ll have me.” The rubbing resumes, his voice is lighter. So far, this conversation has been better at warming him than the jacket. “Come on, we have to get back.”

“I can't.”

“Why? Everyone wants to see you.”

“Not that I don't want to, idiot.” Yuri taps him on the chest. “I'm so tired and hungry and I can barely stay awake, I don't think I can make the walk back.”

“Sleep then, I'll stay with you until the end.”

Yuri nods, not arguing with a good idea. He takes a deep breath and gets more comfortable. Nothing changed much, he shouldn't change his mind so fast. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is the warm body against his. Let the world deal with it. If they can handle it or not, it's none of his business. If they have a problem with him, then it’s that: their problem. It wasn’t his choice to replace Yurio, so he’s not going to give a fuck from now on. He is alive, and that is all that matters.

Between Otabek’s warmth, the jacket, the comfortable hug, and the many hours awake in the wind and the rain, Yuri falls asleep fast. When he wakes he is back at the Donut, but not in his room or any other he has been in. It must be on the third floor, given how small it is. The bathroom door is open, a faint light comes out and someone can be heard fumbling around inside.

Otabek walks out, stops by the foot of the bed and smiles. “I was about to wake you, just fixed you a nice, warm bath. You can wear some of my clothes until we go shopping.”

After the heavy sleep, Yuri isn't as tired and can move around better. He gets in the bath and everything is alright in the world. Nothing in life has ever been or will be better than this moment. He stays there until the water runs cold and his fingers prune. Best bath ever, truly a healing experience.

Clothes are piled on top of the toilet seat. Good to sleep in but not much else. Their bodies are different types. The pants and shirt are short and loose on Yuri. They’re comfortable, though going commando wasn't on his to-do list. As long as he ties the strings tight around his waist and nothing slips down it should be fine.

He yawns and makes his way back to the bed. Who even fucking cares whose room this is, it’s his now.

 

* * *

 

 

Even if Otabek claims he slept for just twelve hours, the truth is it was something like three months. Aside from being able to move properly, his body isn't showing it. Neither is anyone else’s for that matter, but he's a fucking time traveler. If he says something wonky happened with the flow of time then everyone better listen.

That asshole has the audacity to correct him when he brought him here against his will. He took advantage of his weak physical and mental state to undermine his decision. Yuri ran off, set on leaving forever, only to be brought back a day later and forced to confront the people in Yurio’s life. Why they’re even interested is beyond him. They should be glad they get to be rid of that ghost that stuck to them.

Now here they have him, trapped in some random room with a guy that won't leave him alone, entertaining all sorts of visits at all hours of the day that are trying to make him talk about his feelings. All he has to say on the subject is that he has none. Done.

What is the point of the visit tour he is being subjected to? They don't care about him, they care about the guy that looks like Yurio, their loved one. So they should just save it. It's not like he is stupid and will believe that all the effort Otabek puts into taking care of him is anything more than some twisted sense of obligation because he fucked the guy in another timeline.

This isn't winning him any points and yet he refuses to stop. They just love to rub everything in his face, ‘Look at all the people you affected, Yuri.’

“Nikolai and Lilia want to see you.”

Yuri chokes on his soup. “Too bad because I don't want anyone near me, you included. Why are you still here again?”

“Because you like me and want to be friends.” He remains stoic while Yuri’s face burns.

Fuck his ability to give none of his feelings away on tone or face. It gives him an unfair advantage.

“Stop using whatever I said under that tree against me, I can't remember any of it.” He pushes away the food and crosses his arms.

“Right.” Otabek has a spark in his eyes. “They won't force you to receive them. Dr. Popovich wanted to see you too. Should I also say no?”

“He is okay,” he mutters. Popovich and his fellow Travelers are the only ones untainted by Yurio.

Otabek nods and takes the food tray off the bed. “I’ll send him in when I leave and can come back when he goes so you can talk.”

  
  


Popovich is energetic as always when he walks into the room. He almost throws himself on Yuri, his eyes red and wet tracks still on his cheeks.

“You never came back to update me. I heard you ran off during the storm and was so worried about you. Then I heard he went after you and brought you back unconscious, didn't even take you to me. I thought he was doing something to you. Are you ok here with him?” He mouths, “I can help you.”

“I’m fine, he won't hurt me.” Yuri plays with his hair. “It’s just not what I expected.” For having deleted the guy’s lover, he is being too nice.

“Oh, you lost your other bracelet?”

“It got caught in a branch.” That’s much better than saying ‘I threw a tantrum in the woods.’

“Pity, it was cute.” Popovich sighs. “The rumors were spreading so fast, everyone talks about it. I overheard a couple of people talking about coming to visit you, you are so loved.”

Right, loved. No way it’s morbid curiosity driving these people. He isn't even sick, just being kept in bed for rest because Otabek is as paranoid as Katsuki.

“So, what was in the box? What was the secret?” He leans forward, a spark in his eyes.

Yuri rubs the back of his head, it's a bit unbelievable that other rumors spread but not that one. “Nothingserioustheywerejustlovers.”

Popovich only raises an eyebrow.

He gulps. “They were lovers,” Yuri tells Popovich what happened. Once again, not with many details.

“So it was all a misunderstanding? How embarrassing. Told you you made a cute couple.” He boops Yuri’s nose. “It must be hard for them, and you,” Popovich mumbles, more for himself than for Yuri. “Is that how you feel when you look at people here? The ones you knew back home. Like they are all dead?”

“No. Sometimes? I don’t know.” _ I see you as a placeholder  _ would not be a good thing to say to the only Dr. Especially with Mila around. “It's complicated, some of them are so different they might as well be other people. Others you can't tell apart, and there's a few in between, though I haven't spent much time with them.

“You're so strong. If it happened to me it would be torture. I wouldn't want to be in a world where the people I love aren't.” Popovich gets a faraway look in his eyes. How does someone that never loved console another that did and lost? His watch beeps. “Oh, my times up, I’ll see you around. Hopefully, not because you're hurt again.” He messes up Yuri’s hair.

Otabek returns twenty minutes or so after Popovich leaves. It would have been better if he hadn't.

“You look good, you can return to your room by tonight if you want.” He sits beside him on the bed, fixing his messy hair.

“I’m not going back there.” He knocks Otabek's hand away.

“Oh, where are you going to be sleeping then? Are you taking the room at Nikolai’s?”

“Why the fuck would I do that? I figured I'd ask for another one.”

“There’s a waitlist for that. I just got this one and I asked for it months ago. I had to crash at Mila’s.” He rubs the back of his head. “If you want, you can have this one. I haven't moved my stuff, I can  put a new request and someone else can take that one over.”

“Stop. What's your fucking problem? First your clothes and now your room? You can't keep giving me everything, worry about yourself. I don't need you to do it for me. So nosy. I'll figure it out on my own.” If he's like that with everyone people will take advantage of him.

Otabek’s eyes go wide at Yuri’s outburst. Then he returns to himself and lowers his eyes, a light blush on his face. “I-If you’re free and well, do you want to help us with the move?”

He shouldn't, fooling around with Yurio's loved ones could get so messy. The potential for disaster is too great to risk. “Yeah, text me when you do.”

Otabek takes his phone from his pocket and hands it to Yuri. This officially marks the start of their strange friendship. A real one, not fake like the other one where they didn't even have the other's number and all they did was dance around each other.

If Otabek wants to be his friend, who is he to stop him? Being strict with himself and the ban on friendships will be useless if he’s set on approaching Yuri. Whatever, it’s just one person, not like it will cause the end of the world. He’s shown he can be a good friend so far. Yuri smiles for the first real time in long.

  
  


Yuri doesn't leave that night. As much as he talks about figuring things on his own and wanting to leave, he isn't an idiot. He needs a place to stay first.

That night after dinner, Victor and JJ visit him.

“Kenjirou is out with Yuuri,” Victor says as soon as he enters.

“Did I ask?” He doesn't fucking care.

“Your eyes did.”

YoUr EyEs DiD, if they came to bother him they shouldn't have come at all.

They don't stay long, it's pretty late and they need their sleep too.  They mostly update him on the what's going on inside the Donut since he ran away. Popovich was right, people were spreading crazy rumors saying he ran away to escape Otabek, who went after him, brought him back unconscious and then kept him locked in the room. The imagination of bored people is fucking wild.

As if calm, sweet Otabek has it in him to do anything like that. Part of it is true but context is important. It’s like he is incapable of letting Yuri have any discomfort. He’s even been sleeping on the floor to not make him uncomfortable. He’s ridiculous. If left unchecked, his kindness can get out of hand.

“Stay JJ.” He stops him before he can leave with Victor.

JJ looks out the door, and back inside several times, he gulps. “Sorry Kitten, can't sleep over with you tonight.”

“Stop playing around, I need ask you something, dumbass.” He shouldn’t insult the person he's about to ask a favor to but it's expected of him at this point.

“Please don't murder me,” he whines and sits back on the chair next to the bed.

“Why would I do that?” He hasn't gotten what he wants yet.

“Your face is...nevermind, what do you want?”

“Can we share your room? I need somewhere to sleep while I request a new one.”

JJ lets out the breath he'd been holding. “Oh, sure. I can move your things for you too.”

“No, I'm not taking anything, see if you can get a new bed in there by tomorrow.” There is no way he’ll share a bed with him as he did with Kenjirou.

JJ nods. He runs into Otabek, who is coming back from dinner, at the door. There is an awkward moment of the two of them staring at each other before Otabek steps aside to let JJ through.

They don't talk much as he settles his things on the floor, next to the bed and gets ready for sleep.

Yuri grunts. “Will you ever listen to me? We can share this bed. Nothing bad will happen if we do.”

Otabek kneels, his head pops up over the edge. “I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

He rolls his eyes. “You don't. To be honest, I've shared a bed with Kenjirou for so long I have trouble sleeping on my own now.” The things he makes him admit to, unforgivable. It's like he's gone back to relying on guilt-tripping for the sake of their friendship.

“In that case, I guess it's okay.” He cleans up his sheets from the floor quickly, turns off the light and gets into bed with Yuri. It isn’t as large as in his old room.

He is stiff and as far away as possible from Yuri, which isn’t much. There is a weird energy in the room, neither one mentions it. After what must be a century staring at the ceiling, Yuri mutters, “good night." He turns to sleep on his side, giving Otabek his back.

In the morning, they’re in the same position they went to sleep in. He was right. Nothing bad happened and they both got a good night's rest. It's what they should have been doing all along.

Yuri doesn't wait until night time to leave. He tells Otabek he plans to move in with JJ while they find him a room. The smart move would be to wait to have the bed before they part ways but staying there is taking a toll on his mental health.

The rest of the day he spends walking around alone, trying not to run into anyone. It's not that difficult now that the storm has passed and people are allowed to go outside again.

By nighttime, the new single bed has been taken to JJ’s room on the third floor. It’s cramped but not as much as Mila’s, he doesn't have boxes and boxes to fill the space. JJ was always one to keep his room clean.

There's a knock on the door right before they go to bed. Victor and Kenjirou walk in, wearing their pajamas, carrying blankets, snacks, and drinks.

Fuck no. No, Yuri is not going through this again. The first time ended bad enough. What will the state of the world be tomorrow if they do this? Sleepovers are cursed and should be banned.

It goes much like the first one, which was pretty boring until the world went crazy. Staying alert is the way to go. Yuri drinks enough to feel light, but not enough to fuck up in an emergency. It’s a plus if it helps avoid a worse hangover. He doesn't have to ban horror stories because no one makes an attempt to tell one. At least they have that improvement.

Turns out there's a new lightweight in the group with the addition of Kenjirou. All the jokes are now directed at him. He seems pretty drunk even if most of his beers ended up on his shirt after the second one. It's now completely drenched and disgusting and if he starts barfing Yuri will not be the one to help him.

Victor takes off all his clothes except for his underwear. He passes his phone to JJ. They take ‘sexy’ pictures that are a disaster, his eyes and face always too off to be effective. A good friend would stop them from sending those, too bad there isn’t one near them.

“We should… we should put a bunk bed here, that way I can join.” Kenjirou points to one of the beds from his position across the other one. “I don't want to sleep alone and Yuuri doesn't want anyone on Pichit’s bed.”

“That's a great idea,” JJ yells, falling on top of him, “we could do this every night.”

That sounds horrible. A daily sleepover with the two of them. Absolute torture. They’re hard enough to handle on their own. Why couldn't he become one with that tree?

JJ is a special brand of annoying tonight. His arms are around Yuri and his disgusting breath hits his face. If he wants to hug the others he can do it, but why does it have to do it to him?

“Y’know Yuri, you're special and loved, but I feel for Otabek. I mean, he too lost his beloved in the Ripple. It’s not an easy thing to go through, it's different from other family members.” His face contorts and he ugly cries on his shoulder, getting all his body fluids on the clothes Otabek gave him. “I still miss her so much. She said we would be together no matter what happened. I thought it was true love, that no matter what timeline, we were meant to be. But it w-wasn't...we weren't.”

Yuri shoves him away. “So form a help group and leave me alone!” All these love woes have nothing to do with him.

“I can't leave you alone, you're my lovely kitten friend.” He pinches one of Yuri’s cheeks and pulls, his hold is strong. He’s going to leave half his face numb. JJ laughs. “Everyone, look at how adorable he is, his entire face is red.”

If this is how it's going to be from now on JJ won't survive the week.

His laughter turns to tears again. “It’s so hard Yuri, you're so lucky you've never loved. When I see her with her boyfriend I die, but she's so happy and beautiful, how could I not be happy for her?”

Yuri looks to Victor for help, he is busy making kissy faces at his phone. Kenjirou, on the other hand, is ready. He lifts JJ and drops him on his bed. It's pathetic, sad, and somewhat understandable.

They try to put an end to the night, the two guests throw some blankets on the floor and get ready to sleep.

None of them can do it. They toss and turn for half an hour.

“I don't want to sleep yet, let's keep drinking,” Kenjirou says, slurring his words.

They form a circle on the floor, passing the last bottle to drink from it. It isn't even disgusting anymore, hopefully, he’ll think the same come morning.

Kenjirou does most of the talking, to no one's surprise. The three of them stare at the wall.

“What’s wrong, Kitten?” JJ cleans a tear from Yuri's cheek with the side of his finger.

“Looks like we have a crying drunk.” Victor's smile is huge.

JJ pulls out his phone and searches for music until he finds a song he likes. The music of this timeline is very different. He stands and pulls Yuri up by his right hand. “Let's dance.”

Yuri gets forced to dance with him in several styles. They try to recreate what they’ve seen in movies and shows with very little success. They soon join Victor with the stripping. By the time the dance-off starts, all of them are already in their underwear.

They wake up in a pile of limbs next morning. None of them remember who won, so Kenjirou proclaims himself the winner, and that's that. Not even JJ is in the mood to contest the decision.

Victor and JJ take the chance to teach them how to operate the box. Their memories of the night are hazy and that's how they show. The only thing left now is opening the door to check if the world is still there. But they can do that after they sleep some more and when they don't feel like shit that got run over.

Kenjirou spends most of the morning in the bathroom. Serves him right for being an irresponsible drinker.

Eventually, it's time to rejoin the world and they sit at dinner together for the first time in weeks. Yuri wears a pair of Otabek’s loose shorts and his jacket, still barefoot. It’s an odd look but not so odd that it justifies everyone keeping a close eye on him while he eats. How rude and nosy.

Neither Mila or Otabek are there. People keep their hostility in check as long as they keep a low profile.

A strong squeeze in his shoulder makes his blood run cold. Mila is there, a fake smile on her face. “Yuri, can we talk in private?”

Everyone at the table gawks at her. They remember what happened last time she had a talk with him alone. Though that time it was done forcefully. This could be a change she’s trying to show. They all made many mistakes and if Yuri wants to be forgiven he’ll have to be open to doing it himself.

“Sure.” He is not so stupid as to leave somewhere there are no witnesses but a table for two should be private and public enough to work for both of them. They sit not far from the others, not within earshot but in eyesight.

She wastes no time. “I talked to Beka.” She holds up her hand to stop Yuri from interrupting. “For a long time, I hoped it was over. That you would leave him alone, and he would move on with his life. That with Yuri gone he would be free to be happy.” She laughs. “But it must be a Yuri thing, no matter what version, to fuck around with Beka.”

“What?” Would it kill her to explain herself properly for once?

“Let me make this clear for you.” Mila continues, keeping strong eye contact. “As long as you are a Traveler, you have no chance with him. You’re bound to break, and if you keep dragging it, it’ll be worse for the two of you when the time finally comes. I want you to stay away from Beka for his own good, but you’ve never cared about that, just as he never did, so I know you won’t. Enjoy that friendship while it lasts.” She leaves the table.

What the fuck? How dare she? That’s what she wanted to say? It was completely unnecessary, as she reached that final conclusion that it makes no difference on her own. He shoves food into his mouth as fast as he can.

 

 

 

They somehow manage to change one of the single beds for a bunk one. Yuri gets the top. Apparently, it took a bit of shuffling and rearranging other people. In the end, his crisis was beneficial for many.

JJ and Kenjirou’s late-night talks aren’t difficult to get used to. It's like before, only it gets louder by the minute. Since no one minds their volume and they talk without concern for those trying to sleep, Yuri takes the chance to vent about Mila. The others fall quiet quickly, he's not the type to bitch loudly about someone.

“Fuck her,” JJ says when he is done talking. “You have every right to be friends with him. We did our work, saved the world and now deserve a break. These are our lives now. We can do what we want with them.”

“Yeah!” Kenjirou agrees and it starts a circle of talking between him and JJ about how much they agree. They don't say anything new or helpful but they are enthusiastic.

Yuri tunes them out again. Otabek is an adult and so is he, they talked and agreed to be friends. That is it. Mila is butting in, talking about shit she doesn't get and trampling over her friend's wishes. What a fucking terrible friend. A guide of what not to do for his new friendship with Otabek.

 

* * *

 

 

It takes two more days for Otabek to text him to help with the move. They didn't run into each other during that time at all. Not that he looks out or keeps an eye for him, it’s just something he trained himself into from the very start and now isn't easy to turn off.

The message comes when he is in the room with the other two, they invite themselves after reading it over his shoulder.

They meet outside Mila’s room. They aren't allowed inside, just handed boxes at the door. This time Yuri wears some clothes JJ lend him. They are big, and loose and have a bad style. His fashion sense is tragic. He would have worn Kenjirou’s but it's easier to fit in large clothes than small ones. Otabek’s judging looks aren't necessary to tell him they’re lame and he looks horrible. Unfit to be seen in public.

It takes three trips for them to move every box. It isn't very far, just down the corridor and near to their new room.

Yuri goes into the bathroom to set up the mat and towels, when he comes out everyone is gone from the room, now full of boxes.

“... shouldn't be doing this. I’m saying this for your own good.”

“Stop worrying. I can handle this. I don't need you over me questioning every decision I make.”

Mila and Otabek argue again outside the room. Yuri didn't' hear the conversation but he doesn't need to. It can only be about one subject: their friendship.

Befriending someone that is your dead lover, but isn't, can be very complicated. As far as they know, theirs is the only case, no one can offer any real advice or help. They’re going into it blind, all the way knowing that they shouldn't, and making no effort to stop.

Given the unique situation, everyone's opinion is worthless. They’re the two involved, their decision matters and should be respected. Yuri won't try to talk Otabek out of it. He won't be talked out of it himself. All that can be done now is wait and see how it ends.

Mila leaves, Otabek comes back inside and sees him standing close to the door. He runs his hand through his hair and sighs.

“So, you want to hang out a bit?”

Yuri shrugs. “I’ll help you unpack.”

About half the boxes have clothes, he separates them into different piles. One to be hanged and the other to put into drawers later. A few times Yuri opens one to find it's full of the most adorable teddy bears wearing different outfits. It's hard to believe someone so serious and angry looking has not just one box, but several filled with those little things.

Yuri picks one up, a soft, golden yellow, it dances when it's paw is pressed.

“If you like it you can have it.”

The smile slips off Yuri’s face. “Stop trying to give me your things.” He shoves the bear into Otabek’s arms and turns away, covering his face with his hands.

They continue to unpack, Yuri insists on lining up all the bears on the bed to have a view of them all. In the end, there is almost no room for the two of them. They sit at the edge, facing the rows and rows of bears. Some in uniforms and formal clothes, and others in more casual outfits.

“If you have something to say, say it.” For the past few hours, Otabek has been eyeing him from head to toe, then looking away when he catches him.

“Those clothes don't fit you.”

“I know, they're JJ's.”

“We can still go shopping.” He covers his mouth with his hand. “And then go to the park.”

The offer has been real all along and not a fake pity offer. So far in their relationship, it’s been him doing the inviting, now it's him getting invited places. Cool.

Yuri nods. “Sounds good.” More than good. It’s fantastic.

  
  


On the short way from Otabek’s room to his own, Yuri runs into Lilia. She stops him and offers him a spot on her gardening group.

“You wouldn’t have to be around many people, only the other beginners. It’s a relaxing activity.”

“I don't know. I can’t lose shape in case they repair the machine.”

“You can do it in your spare time, please. With Isabella’s wedding, we need as many hands as we can get. The machine won't be repaired before that.”

Yuri bites his lip. He does owe her one for wrecking her garden. He can always quit if it takes too much time out of training. Georgi was there for him many times while growing up, now it’s his turn to do the same. “Only on my free time.”

She pats him on the shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lilia teaches him the way around a lot of flowers for most of that week. He never talks to Otabek about the shopping trip and continues to wear JJ’s clothes. He does have less care with them than he would his own. And so, the shopping trip keeps getting postponed.

He works in the greenhouse with Lilia every day. The old woman isn’t so bad but he still doesn’t follow much of her conversation. She gives up pretty quick and focuses on the others.

Otabek bursts into his mind often, but he’s not going to be the one to call first. He’s the one that asked Yuri, so he should set up the date and time. Still, every night, after an entire day of not seeing him, fantasies of their trip form in his head. Usually when he’s on the verge of sleep and can’t will them away anymore. He ignores JJ and Kenjirou's loud, non-stop talking.

For some reason, his day is always a little better when it has some Otabek in it. No matter how small.


	11. Night Sky

If someone told Yuri after the Ripple that he would miss the way Otabek’s eyes were always on him, he wouldn't have believed them. Then he would have insulted them for daring to talk to him.

It’s been two weeks and a half since he helped with the move and sat with him among the cute teddy bears. Not once in those whole two weeks and a half did Otabek try to contact him. They didn't run into each other by accident either. It’s amazing and totally not a coincidence. He’s put effort into it.

What better way to end this than with effort of his own. So he skips his duties and hides in a corridor, crouching behind a wall, in order to ‘jump into him.' They’ll then start a conversation that will lead to them having lunch together on his way to break. People share meals with friends all the time, no need to think too much about it.

Nothing goes as planned this time.

After a few taps on his shoulder, he turns to find Otabek crouching next to him. He looks good in the security uniform. How had he never noticed before?

“Hey, been meaning to talk to you.” There goes his attempt at being casual. Great, now that it deviated from the plan he has no idea how to hold the conversation. He’ll come off as needy creep.

“Me too.”

“Really? Could have sworn you were avoiding me.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that.” Otabek rubs the back of his neck, the sleeves of his button-up are pushed to his elbows. “About that shopping trip, how about tomorrow?”

Oh. That was easy. Yuri didn't have to do anything. His heart skips a beat, a wide smile on his face. “Yeah, okay. I need clothes and shoes if I want to stop looking like some shitty clown. And a new toothbrush, I've been using Yurio’s, it’s super gross.” He closes his eyes. Why? Why would he say that? Of all the days for his brain to go on vacation. Hopefully, it’ll be back to work before their trip.

Otabek smiles and squeezes his shoulder before leaving. Those pants do look good on him.

 

* * *

June

  
  
Even with the storm gone, the weather remains shitty, though not as shitty as back home. The rain is light but continuous, leaving them drenched in a few minutes. Good thing he still has Otabek’s jacket.

It doesn't matter how many great clothes he gets today, he will keep it forever. It might have stopped smelling like him days ago but it can still keep him warm. Not to mention it's fucking cool, unlike the lame shit the others lend him. If only the pants were his size too.

Victor and JJ accused him of being over dramatic about it. Just because they are comfortable stepping over their other selves life, doesn't mean Yuri has to be too. Their circumstances are too different. He can't start over in the new timeline with the ease Kenjirou, Victor and Sara did. They either didn’t exist, were dead, or had no one in the world but one very cool, understanding friend.

While he and JJ share the family and love issue in a way, it’s also completely different. Despite only having met one, there is no doubt all versions of JJ are infuriating. So much that they must be practically interchangeable. The one out of place is Yuri, and so they should shove their judgment up their ass.

When he meets with Otabek in the main driveway outside the garage, he isn't on the bike as expected. He drives the car to a stop in front of him, Mila on the copilot seat. Neither one looks pleased. His posture is stiff, his grip strong on the wheel, while she looks forward with a deep frown and arms crossed.

Mila doesn’t approve of this trip and makes no effort to hide it. Whatever. If she wants to be an asshole so bad, Yuri is no one to stop her.

When he is about to get on the backseat someone shouts his name in the distance.

“Yuri, wait!” Kenjirou runs as fast as he can towards him. When he gets there he leans on the car, out of breath. “I want to go too.” His fists are clenched and his eyes determined. He will not take no for an answer.

Their outing is already ruined, one more person is not a problem. Yuri waves him in and they sit side by side in silence for the entire ride. No one dares to talk or turn on the music. Everything is at risk of blowing up with the smallest noise.

They get to a mall, it’s so crowded it takes them more than an hour to find space to park. People watching is not worth it anymore.

The shopping experience can't be fully enjoyed due to Mila trailing behind them the entire time. Her angry face always visible. Kenjirou balances it well enough. The most they get done is when he pulls Mila away to help him look for pants, leaving Otabek and Yuri alone.

Yuri doesn't buy a lot, just enough casual clothes to get by and some pajamas. Otabek convinces him to buy at least one formal change in case he needs it. Shopping with him is a bit freaky at first. He knows his sizes and tastes too well. Better than he does sometimes. That makes it impossible to reject any of his suggestions. In the end, there is a lot of animal print on his bags, which isn't much different from what Yurio had but it's  _ his. _

Paid for by Otabek but still his. It's so stupid. Since they don’t use money in the Donut he forgot he had none in this timeline. Yurio had no savings either because he lived to be a Traveler. Eating his pride is necessary for the meantime but as soon as he gets money he’ll return it. Until then it’s the only option. Is Lilia going to pay for his gardening work?

Kenjirou should get Yakov to use the erased old man’s bank account. It’s not fair that Otabek pays for the colorful, ugly crap he buys. Or the red streak he insists on getting on his blond hair. They aren’t even friends. Couldn't he come with Katsudon some other day and do it then?

After a few hours stuck in traffic, the weather gets better. The clouds part, the sun shines and they make it to one of the tallest buildings ever. It's shaped like a giant flower, he’s admired it from a distance before. Up close it's even more impressive.

It’s free to enter. Kenjirou holds onto Mila’s arm, he jumps up and down and could explode into rainbows, confetti, and fireworks at any moment. She says nothing, so stoic she could pass for Otabek’s sister.

They enter with a large and varied group of people into a large elevator. The windows around them let them see the city as they rise. It has various levels, small parks with a green glass dome that resemble leaves. They get off until the last stop. It’s several times larger than the rest. The elevator leaves them in the middle. The dome above them has a light pink tint.

Anywhere he looks, is the sky. Kids run everywhere with their dogs. People sit on benches, eating ice cream, while others try to exercise. Some have family picnics. The smell of food is strong, but hard to identify as it comes from all directions and mixes together, vendors of all sorts around them.

It’s nothing like the shitty parks of his own time where the grass was dry, too dangerous for kids to play in, and people always ran the risk of either being robbed or seeing someone naked while they walked past.

Kenjirou runs off like a child, with a huge smile on his face when he spots the cotton candy man. Someone should tie a leash on that kid.

Mila gives three steps forward and stops. “I’ll be right back, don't move or we’ll get separated.” She takes off after Kenjirou.

Otabek grabs his arm and pulls him in the opposite direction. “Let’s go, before she comes back.” He leads them to a bench and pushes Yuri to sit in it. “I'll buy us some ice cream.”

He is gone before Yuri can tell him what flavor he wants. The bench faces the edge. Since they’re higher than any other building around, he can see most of the city extend bellow him. The setting sun paints the sky in pinks, purples, and yellows. A star twinkles above him.

Otabek doesn't take long. Ripping him a new one would’ve been fun but surprise surprise, he bought his favorite flavor. The day has been one trippy reminder after another that this person sort of knows him in a way no one else does, but also not him. Just someone that looks exactly like him, has the same tastes and a similar personality.

Does it count as having been seen naked or not? This guy had sex with Yurio for years, who is basically Yuri with a different consciousness... This is a complete fucking mess. Is he still a virgin if it happened to his body before his consciousness took over? Or are they in different bodies and Yurio just disintegrated when he appeared? Wow, that’s too horrible to even consider. Whatever it is, the time to think about it is not when Otabek sits right beside him, leg touching his, and can probably read every thought passing through his mind on his overheating face. This guy got pretty intimate with Yurio and that means automatically having too much knowledge on Yuri himself. All his tells were given away before they ever spoke a word.

If he figures out what he is thinking, Yuri will die on the spot. “What do you call a pile of cats?” Once again, his mouth acts before his brain does.

“What?” Otabek wasn’t even looking at him, too concentrated on his ice cream.

Well, the first part is already out, might as well commit to it. Yuri Plisetsky is not a quitter. “A meow-ntain,” he says, with an overly serious voice and furrowed brows. The horror of what he just did dawns on him. Did he really just use that stupid joke?

The silence stretches too long. It’s the worst thing that has ever happened. Emotions cross Otabek’s face, he can decipher none of them. He is about to tell Yuri that it was a horrible joke, and that will be the last time he hears of Otabek, ever. Their friendship will dissolve. He will spend the night laughing with Mila about how stupid he is. How he is nothing like Yurio and that he’d been so wrong when he thought they could be friends. Everything is ruined, all because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut.

Otabek clears his throat. “That was a-paw-ling.”

The serious face and monotonous voice are too much. Yuri’s blushes hard and he has to bury his face in his free palm. Wouldn't be a surprise if there’s smoke coming out of him. Hopefully, his ice cream won’t melt from proximity to his face.

“I would have gone with ‘a purr-amid.’"

“Oh God, stop. Please. No more.” When Yuri looks up Otabek is smiling but his eyes aren’t. Probably thinking ‘I lost my Yuri for this loser’ or something along those lines. Whatever, who cares?  He is the one here and he is going to enjoy it.

“I heard it when I went to the zoo in the past.” He stuffs his face with the ice cream. If he eats he won't be expected to keep the conversation going. That decision is not good for his teeth or his head. Stupid brain freeze.

“It must have been amazing. What animals did you see there?”

“All that I could, but I focused on the felines.”

“Was it before fun got banned?”

“No.” Yuri pouts. He already came off as a loser, he’s not about to make it worse by confessing he planned to retire and sent all his responsibilities to hell on the last Leap.

They watch what's left of the sunset together and talk about his last trip to the zoo. How much he enjoyed it, and what animals had gone extinct in his timeline, which was most of them. Otabek listens, his eyes never leaving Yuri for more than five seconds. The intensity of it bothers him, but not the way it did at first. Now it’s fun and fills his chest.

Kenjirou and Mila join them late, long after the sun has set. Both with their faces painted, one as a butterfly and another as a superhero. They accompany Otabek and Yuri in line to get a bear and tiger respectively. Their presence no longer ruins the day. 

 

* * *

July

  
  
After their talk in the park, their friendship solidifies. No longer do they go into those weeklong silences. They spend time together often. At meals, during their free time and at night, while JJ and Kenjirou blabber loudly before sleep, they text.

It’s unlike any friendship he’s had. They quickly surpass being friends to become best friends. Yuri could be having the shittiest of days but Otabek being there is enough to make it better. The other way too.

Mila hovers at first, shaking her head and spitting fire, but she gives up pretty fast. There is no one to get on his way from spending all his free time holed up in Otabek’s room and enjoying his company.

“Do you think they'll repair the machine and restart the program?” Otabek sits on the floor, his back to the bed where Yuri lays.

“They should. Georgi is still lost somewhere in time, he could be in danger. If it wasn't for that, I’d say leave it. This timeline is good enough. Even if time tends to reset itself, we could fuck up bad if we try anything else. If Georgi was safe, we could shut it down.” Or if he had the same fate as Michele.

“No one here ever thought of this world as good enough, plenty of people want it changed. But who knows the risks better than the Travelers themselves? Does that mean you're staying here permanently? The rest of us don't have to vanish into new versions? If Georgi is safe and his rescue doesn’t cause a Ripple, this is it. These are our lives, now and forever.”

“Yes. You don't sound too happy about it.”

“For half my life I've lived under the assumption that I could disappear. Be there one moment and replaced the next. That another world, a better one, would come and our sacrifice would be worth it. It wouldn't be death since we were never alive. Knowing that this _ is _ the better world… I don't know how to feel.” He holds his knees to his chest and rests his forehead in them. His back trembles.

Yuri wiggles to the edge of the bed. Bears fall off everywhere, and he pulls Otabek back to hug him. With his arms tight around his shoulders, he buries his face in his neck. He smells nice. Otabek’s hand squeezes his arm. “Did you guys ever find out how Grandpa died in the original timeline?”

His body stops shaking as much. He sniffs. “No. How did he?”

“I don’t know, he always refused to say. When I was a kid, I always imagined him saving children from the last wild tiger and dying like a hero. As I grew and became more realistic, I realized how wrong I was. Grandpa would obviously wrestle it to the ground, tame it and take it as a pet for the children.”

Otabek snorts, it worked! “That’s ridiculous.”

“I know that  _ now _ . He would have let it wander free, Grandpa was a sweet soul like that.”

He moves his hand from his arm to his head and runs his finger through Yuri’s hair. “When they asked me to visit you after the Ripple, you didn’t seem aware of what was happening. Did you guys notice as it happened or was it too quick?

“Ugh, it was all JJ’s fault, honestly.” After making him promise not to repeat anything, Yuri tells him about the sleepover, the ghosts and moving furniture. They stay in that position, he doesn't let go and neither does Otabek.

 

* * *

August

  
  
The news spread like wildfire: the fair has come. It settled nearby, on the outskirts of the city. The illness spreading to about a fourth of the community adds to the stress of the kidnapping and death. People crave a chance to breathe and forget. They want time to have fun for a night. Weekly movies don't cut it anymore.

It's too risky to go alone, so they plan an outing where everyone that wants to go can sign in and enjoy the fair together.

Yuri sends Otabek a message almost as soon as he hears about it, then proceeds to sign the both of them to go when he gets the go ahead.

When the day comes, a lot of families wait in line for the buses, along with most of the teenage residents. Kenjirou manages to get all his family plus Victor to join him. Even Michele and Sara join in, though separate from everyone.

Last time Yuri went to the fair, it was with his mother, most of that memory is gone. Life has thrown a lot at him since then, things haven’t been this fun since his last Leap.

He sits with Otabek. Even if she hasn't done much lately, Yuri still checks that Mila isn't near them to ruin the trip.

“How's your job in the greenhouse going? Lilia said you improved a lot.”

“It’s going well. Isabella’s wedding is going to be beautiful.” Not that the first one he helped organize wasn't, it was just a lifetime ago. So small in scale compared to this one.

“I’m glad.” Otabek doesn’t lie. Lately, his eyes have been more alive and expressive. Sometimes, they even have a spark.

The ride isn't very long, they could have walked there but it would be an unnecessary safety risk. Everyone runs off in different directions as soon as they leave the bus and agree to meet there again at midnight.

In the early afternoon, it's pretty boring. Few things are open and most of the food isn't ready yet. People walk in every direction, so the two of them hold hands to not get separated and lost. They wander around the booths, rides, and stalls trying to find something entertaining.

They buy tickets for the most popular rides. Ones that put them upside down, spin them at high velocity and make them feel sick. It takes little time for their hair to become a bird’s nest. With some luck, Yuri will still have half of it left after he is done brushing out all the tangles.

Otabek’s hair doesn't tangle as bad. When Yuri runs his fingers through it several times trying to fix it, he has almost no problem. The thick, soft feel of it keeps calling for more. Yuri doesn't get yelled at, or his hand snapped away, at most, he is at the receiving end of a light blush. It’s devastating.

They give the skill games a shot afterward. An adorable new teddy bear in ringleader outfit could be joining the ranks by the end of the night.

On the booth next to theirs, a woman squeals in delight. Her pitch so annoying it’s been burned into Yuri’s soul for years.

Isabella hugs a giant moose plush. “I love it almost as much as I love you.” She kisses the generic JJ replacement, it soon becomes too dirty and explicit for a public space. They should have waited for the bedroom. Disgusting.

When his eyes get back to Otabek, he is already holding the ringleader bear. It’s much larger than the ones in his room but it’ll fit right in.

“Do you want one?”

“Not doing that for a bear.” He points at Isabella.

“They’re engaged. I wouldn't ask that of you.” He talks into the bear, “A peck would be enough.”

Yuri fake laughs. It’s funny because Otabek doesn't actually want it. Haha, what a joke it is that they could ever be involved. His stomach rumbles at that moment and they head towards one of the food vendors. Something warm wouldn't be bad, it’s freezing.

They sit on a bench they got lucky enough to find. It takes one sip from his hot chocolate to warm him, it burns a path from tongue to stomach and prevents him from getting all the flavor of the cinnamon roll he bought. At least he can enjoy the delicious smell.

Otabek drinks his coffee, observing the passersby and all the booths and rides left to visit. Long lines everywhere. His eyes track couples around the fair. They hold, kiss and feed each other, all far more subtle about it than Isabella and Knockoff JJ.

It must be hard for him, to see all the couples around, remember Yurio and then see Yuri tagging along. Definitely a downgrade.

He drinks the rest of his chocolate in one painful drink and coughs. His throat is on fire, burned to a crisp. It will never work again.

“Don’t drink it so fast.” Otabek takes it away and frowns at it when he feels the empty cup.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he snaps.

Yuri drags the two of them to the closest thing: the carousel. There are a lot of children and adults, the teens decided to skip on it altogether. Each of them gets their own horse. It's larger than the ones he rode on with his mother as a kid.

Kenjirou sits a few horses in front, along with Katsudon and their sister, Mari. So much happiness pours out of him that he will hear about the amazing ride at least every night for the next two weeks. At least JJ is there now, to follow the conversation and pretend to give a shit in his place.

After sunset, they turn on the colored lights and lamp posts. The way they reflect off Otabek’s skin is entrancing. It takes inhuman amounts of strength to look away from his cheekbones. And even then, his lips call the attention when he licks them.

“Let’s ride the ferris wheel.” Otabek grabs his hand and pulls him to the line. In front of them mostly mushy couples or parents with their kids.

They aren't the only ones holding hands but it is different. They don't lean into the other's space in an attempt to be closer. They are apart, stiff, unnatural,  their hands the only connection. There is an air around the rest. What they're doing is for convenience sake, they're nothing more than friends. A pit forms in his stomach.

The time comes to get in their little basket seat. It doesn't feel very stable, but if lighting wouldn't hit him under a tree during a storm, the thing falling off or tipping when he’s in it seems very unlikely. It does shake enough to keep him on his toes.

The stars are out and shining on them.

Not once during the ride does Otabek look at him, or even speak. The other couples all do it, stupid hearts on their eyes. He, on the other hand, is completely ignored. He could jump out mid-ride and it would make no difference. Not that he cares, but Otabek pays more attention to that stupid bear of his. He holds it close, rests his chin on its head, and protects it from the cold wind. Forget Isabella’s, this will be the wedding of the year.

Once on the ground, Yuri stalks off to be alone. When Otabek calls his name, he flips him the bird without looking back.

It’s not hard to get lost in the sea of people. He allows them to lead him away, not fighting the flow or paying attention. Tears roll down his face, he brushes them away with his sleeve and hides behind his hair. What a fucking asshole. This is the last time they go anywhere together.

After an hour of kicking ass at the games, he sits on a bench in a field next to the fair. He’s out of money, watching some kids light fireworks with only a stuffed white tiger for company.

He ignores the footsteps, and when Otabek sits next to him, he’s still carrying that thing. Well, Yuri has one of his own now and doesn't give a shit. He stays focused on the children and their different types of fireworks.

He buries his face in the tiger. Otabek's fingers run through his hair, Yuri turns a bit to look at him under his lashes.

“We should head to the bus.” Otabek doesn't look wrecked but he sure sounds it.

Yuri lets out a breath and holds the tiger out. “I’m sorry. It’s not a bear but it's still cute as hell.”

Otabek takes it with a smile. “Thanks.” He holds the bear out to Yuri. “I wanted to give you this but I wasn't sure how you’d take it.”

Right. He doesn't want to accidentally get himself into something because Yuri doesn't get it. A bear is a bear and nothing more. Yuri still takes it and holds it close. It can't fill the hole. “Don't worry, I get it.” It hurts. Digging his fingers into Beka Bear doesn't help much, but at least those fingers don't end up on someone else.

 

* * *

September

  
  
Chaos.

For weeks and weeks, it’s all been chaos. Isabella’s wedding is fast approaching and everyone scrambles to get everything together for her perfect day. The dress, the cake, the flowers, the seating, the food, it is all everyone talks about. It's not nearly as charming or as exciting as it was for the other wedding.

It might be on a higher scale but the emotional investment is none. Hearing about the preparations day in and day out is exhausting. If it wasn't for his work with Lilia growing the flowers, preparing the arrangement and bouquet, he would have dumped everything as soon as he started dreaming about the whole stupid thing. Rest doesn't exist anymore.

The only place safe from wedding talk is his own room, where neither of his roommates says anything about it but compensate by talking loudly and frequently about any other equally insignificant subjects.

Even Otabek brings it up every now and then.

“I don't think so, I was just going to set the flowers up and ditch the whole thing. I already attended her wedding once, what more can you ask of me?” Yuri lets his arms fall dramatically to his side, they bounce on the bed.

“Oh,” is all Otabek says. Suspicious.

“Why? Are _ you _ going?” He was in such a hurry to shut the topic down he never thought about why Otabek kept bringing it up.

“Yes.” He keeps his eyes on the ceiling and offers nothing more.

Oh, okay. Is he going with Mila? Someone else? Alone? Yuri turns, puts his hands on Otabek's chest, leans down and peers into his eyes. He’s lost in thought, stoic as always. Not the face of someone that fell in love at first sight hours before.

Otabek’s eyes meet his, Yuri holds his breath. The moment of truth.

“Do you want to go with me?”

That’s direct. A warning next time wouldn't be bad. Then he’d get a choice on first-row seats to watch his face turn into a tomato. What an asshole. Unforgivable.

“Okay.”

  
  


The thing about holding the wedding of a social butterfly in the Donut is that everyone is invited. Everyone except the ex, that is. Even his family is attending. Other than him, everyone is welcome.

Being the only person not invited to an event is garbage and it's absurd that no one close to JJ notices until the week of the wedding. Even worse is that all of them are up to the neck in responsibilities that they can't ditch. They are unable to comfort someone that can be considered a sort of friend.

With all the decorations, food, and other tasks that kept them busy, none of them have time to sit and talk about who will keep JJ company until they’re in Victor’s room, already dressed up and ready to go.

“I promised Yuuri we would have a fun evening. He hasn't been well since Pichit’s disappearance.” Victor looks to Kenjirou for confirmation and support.

“We’re all worried about him.”

Yuri groans. “Well, Sara can't do it. Michele would sooner cancel the wedding than have her spend the day with JJ.”

“What about you, Yuri?” The two of them say at the same time. They have been spending too much time together. Those bastards must have agreed to it already.

“I can’t,” he says, it comes out more like a question than a statement. “I told Otabek I would go with him.”

Victor snorts. “So what? Cancel.”

“I’m sure Mila will be happy to keep him company. His family will be there too.”

“He doesn't need you. Yuuri needs us and JJ too. It’ll all be well. Just explain and he’ll understand.”

The two of them leave. He is such an idiot, they had it decided from the start. They wouldn't risk their evening with precious Katsudon, who only has his entire fucking family there to support him.

Yuri kicks the door before leaving.

No one is fooling JJ. It sucks that he has to cancel plans with his best friend to babysit him. It’s so hard to hate him for it though, when he is so quiet, with a drink in his hand when it's not even ten in the morning yet.

What JJ is going through is not something that is easy to comprehend for someone that has never been through it, and no one else has. He is alone in the world. How is Yuri supposed to lift the mood of someone that suffers in a way he can’t possibly comprehend? Why dump this on him, the one with zero experience?

Yuri and JJ don't get along in their best moments. Anything he says will sound fake and be insulting. He is the worst possible choice to keep him company today.

_ I won't be able to go :/ _

_ Have to make sure JJ is ok _

He sends the text and waits. It's answered almost immediately.

_ Ok. _

That is all. “Ok.” Nothing more. No “I was looking forward to it” or a “What a shame" or even an “I wanted to dance with you."

_ Have fun. _

He sends and throws the phone onto the pillow. Otabek doesn't reply again. Maybe it's better that he can't go now if this is the level of interest there is. Maybe he only got asked because no one else wanted to go with him and he didn't want to be the lonely loser at the wedding.

“Who were you texting?” It's the first time JJ speaks in the hours they’ve been locked together in the room.

“Otabek. Just letting him know I can't meet him.”

“You can go. You don't have to babysit me, I'll be fine,” he says, his voice is soft, low and monotonous. No one would believe he is fine.

“No, it’s okay. I already went to her wedding once anyway.”

JJ drinks his glass in one gulp. Fuck. Someone should burn his tongue off for not learning to hold it.

Yuri pulls out a deck of cards and starts a game with JJ. It’s necessary for spending the next few hours without blurting something hurtful. They each win a handful of games and only stop when he has to pee. It's the first time he leaves JJ alone. He is not going to take him into the bathroom like a child or pee in a bottle just to keep him in sight.

When he walks out, the room is empty. Oh no, he wouldn't dare. He wouldn't ruin Isabella’s day, would he? Shit, he totally would, drunk as he was. Everyone will blame Yuri for fucking everything up. All their work, useless.

Yuri sprints out in the direction of the events hall. The ceremony took place in the garden, hours before. Now, everyone is at the party, eating, dancing, and having fun. He enters through the third-floor door and leans on the banister at the edge of the half floor to look at the main one.

It takes a while for his eyes to get used to the dark and the swirling colors. The vibrations of the music in his entire body. Isabella is there on the main floor, dancing with people. She looks happy and not at all like her ex just burst into her party to try and steal her away. Everyone dances on, unaware that a brokenhearted man is on the loose.

It takes him close to ten minutes to spot JJ hiding in the shadows behind a pillar and observing the bride with a sad smile. He taps his foot to the rhythm of the music. He’s not destroyed and making a scene.

Yuri leans on the wall beside him, his heart can finally calm down.

“I'm happy for them.”

Yuri nods. They stay silent, watching the people dance and occasionally grabbing something from the dessert table. It’s an enjoyable time, much like the last wedding. The lack of fighting drunks is a bit of an improvement. It’d be fun if it happened but this time, unrelated to them, that way they’d enjoy the drama without the worry and guilt.

JJ taps him on the shoulder, the music is too loud to hear whatever he says. Yuri leans forward.

“Did you tell Otabek we came?”

Yuri frowns and searches his pockets. “No, I left my phone. He probably doesn't care anyway.”

“Are you sure? Cause he looked pretty upset just now.”

What? Yuri turns in every direction trying to find him. He isn’t anywhere.

“He just left.” JJ points to one of the exits of the hall.

Yuri takes a step and stops. He can't go after him. JJ is fine now but that can change any minute, and he would be leaving for what? Some dude that didn't really care if he came or not? All friends are important. Victor and Kenjirou were right, JJ needs him now. If Otabek is upset about it then he will have time to explain about it later.

JJ takes his arm and pulls him towards the door. “You don't have many friends, Kitten, you have to take care of the ones you do have. You can thank me later.” He winks.

The cold air hits him in the face as soon as he is out. Yuri is not dressed for this. He planned to stay inside after dark, his suit isn't warm enough. He hugs himself.

“There he is.” JJ points to a lone figure sitting on the wooden platform the ceremony took place. “Go talk to him, I'll stay here in sight. I promise.” He gives one last push to Yuri.

He walks down the stairs and through the garden, now fixed and beautiful. Otabek’s focus on his shoes is so strong he doesn't notice Yuri sit next to him. When he gives him a small poke he jumps.

“Thought you said you couldn't come.” He looks at him then back at his shoes.

“Thought you didn't care.” This conversation is getting out of tracks fast. This is not at all how he planned to start.

“Why would you think that? I care. I asked you to come, didn't I?” Honest and direct as always. This man will be the death of him. “If you wanted to come with someone else all you had to do what say so.”

“Sorry.” It’s Yuri’s turn to look down at his feet. “JJ ran off when I went to pee and we decided to stay. I looked but didn't see you.”

“Oh, okay.”

There it is again. One stupid “okay" without any clues in tone or expression as to what it might mean. That he does it often doesn't make it easier when trying to decipher it.

A heavy silence falls on them. The night is beautiful but cold. Muffled music reminds him they need to leave their bubble and get back inside.

In the third floor, JJ, the idiot, is making wild waving gestures trying to catch his attention. He just left him not five minutes ago, can't he get a rest? When JJ sees he has been noticed, he changes his pose to holding one hand raised to his side and the other on his waist, moving from side to side.

Now he’s getting advice from JJ, he’s truly hit rock bottom. Not something to be proud of. The things Yuri would give right now to have someone take control of his body. What is he supposed to do if it doesn't work out? Beka Bear’s hugs are becoming less effective by day. A point will come where it doesn't work anymore.

Nothing like the present to jump in headfirst without thinking much about it. He grabs Otabek's hand where it lays on the wood beside him. Before he can say anything Yuri stands and pulls him up. Lowering his head to hide behind his hair doesn't work as well standing so close to a shorty. Their faces are too close to hide anything.

His lip trembles and his voice doesn't come out. His hands are sweaty and shaking, what was he thinking? How did he think he could pull this off? Just lay bare what he has fantasized about for weeks for him to judge. There has to be a way out without fucking it up further.

Otabek squeezes his hand and puts the other one on Yuri’s shoulder. “I was looking forward to dancing with you tonight.”

Yuri’s face is on fire. There is nowhere he can turn to hide it. He lets go of his hand and raises his arms to put them around Otabek. They hold each other close, it's more of a hug than dancing. His body is hyper-aware of everything. The music coming from the hall is slow, but if it wasn't, their way of dancing wouldn't change much.

He sighs, it isn't at all how he imagined, it’s much better. His heart beats wildly in his chest, no longer feeling any cold. JJ does a quick thumbs up before he gets back into the building.

Yuri loses track of time, their dance is simultaneously too long and short. The music ends and a new song doesn't start again. Nothing lasts forever, no matter how perfect the moment. The party is over and they need to get back.

They walk inside together. Near the door, JJ waits for him, along with Kenjirou, Victor, and Katsudon. They stand close to each other, bending over in laughter at a comment Yuri didn't hear. Otabek walks away without saying much.

Back in his room, after he’s changed into his pajamas, Yuri climbs to his bed and checks his phone. There is only one message, sent not so long ago.

_ Zoo next month? _

There are no more details or explanation.

_ Ok. _

Yuri lays down with a smile on his face and hugs Beka Bear. Otabek was thinking about him when he went to sleep.

 

* * *

  
October

  
  
The weeks after the wedding are unlike anything Yuri has experienced before. In a good way. Their actions don't change much, but they carry a different meaning.

He even gathers enough courage to let go of Yurio’s box. There is no need for it now.

“I told you it's fine, Yuri. As long as you don't watch anything you shouldn't, I don't mind. I trust you,” Otabek says, pushing the box back into his hands.

No other friend has ever trusted him as much as Otabek does. He’ll live up to it. It won’t be easy. Every day, it tempts him. Every day, it gets harder to resist.

Yuri smiles, holding the box to his chest. With Otabek’s trust, he can do anything, like control the physical reactions of his body every time he thinks about the contents. It doesn't matter if it causes him to get sick. He won't betray that trust.

Their outings continue over the weekends. Otabek takes him out to the city often. To the same park, do more shopping, see a movie, the new buildings and places that didn't exist before. Yuri gets to see so many different types of plants, insects, birds, and mammals.

They make sure to always take the bike, even if the others insist on going. Kenjirou tries to use his sad puppy eyes to tag along more than once, it almost works. If they want to spend time with him they can invite him somewhere else later. No one is cutting into his Beka time.

He’s not accepting an offer from Popovich though. After what happened, bringing Georgi back is a must. Befriending a temporary person will only lead to pain. The issue has become too familiar, with others trying to navigate similar situations. After the first week, the guilt is nonexistent.

Nothing will get in the way of his happiness from now on. Not Yurio and his relationship, not Popovich and his replaceability, not Nikolai and his existence.

The trip to the zoo becomes a constant topic as the day approaches since they’ll need to travel further than they have so far. It will take almost a day of driving, they’ll have to ask permission, pack food and take a van. It isn't long before others overhear their conversations and start inviting themselves. Soon it’s like the fair, a trip for everyone and their grandma to enjoy. Though not really because a lot of elderly residents are in the hospital trying to not cough out a lung. It’s no longer a special friend activity, even if it’s happening on the week leading up to Otabek’s birthday. The van gets replaced by busses and days off are given to everyone that signs up.

It's a shame that security has to protect them during the travel hours, which means Otabek can't sit with him. All thanks to some fucking serial arsonist making rounds in the city and that they still haven’t caught whoever threatened the community. Instead, he has to sit with Chris, who he hasn't seen as often lately, near the back.

Victor sits in front of them with Katsudon. There is an occasional disgusting smooch. Not where he expected it to go when he let him take over the training but obvious for anyone around them afterward.

They can't be allowed anywhere near Otabek and Yuri. He could lose all rights to call them gross if they see how mushy he can get. A secret JJ is doing well in hiding so far.

Yuri looks at Chris, leaning back with his eyes closed and his earphones on. He stares until Chris opens one eye and then takes one of the buds off.

“You knew all along. Why didn't you say anything.”

“I was curious about how it would turn out and it was fun.” He closes his eyes again and goes back to his audiobook.

That is not a good reason, it's just plain evil. No wonder he’s such good friends with Victor, he feeds off chaos and despair. Not that anyone else would have done any different in his place, but he could have said something instead of letting him run around like a headless chicken.

Yuri gets comfortable and prepares to sleep for the next few hours. They put a movie at the start of the ride but it's halfway done and he hasn't bothered to watch a bit of it.

The city sights are interesting but not new anymore. They’re not worth staying awake for and getting tired soon.

Chris wakes him once they arrive. It’s almost noon and the Zoo has just opened, perfect timing.

Once off the bus, Yuri finds Otabek nearby and sticks to his side, the trip is for them and no one will ruin it. They are going to have the time of their lives.

The walk around is trippy as hell. Too similar to the past, but a bit off, a bit too empty. The habitats are nice, many with an endangered species sign. Endangered is better than extinct but it fucking sucks that they couldn't do more after so many years. It rubs his face in the failure of their work but the fact alone that it exists speaks of their success. In place of living, breathing animals, are holographic versions. Michele gave his life for this…

The world was given one more chance and it accomplished amazing things. They should be proud. Every complaint is spit in the face of those that worked hard to reach this amazing world.

Though he had a blast being a little rebel and going to the zoo all by himself, sharing the experience with a friend makes it all better. They don't hold hands anymore, but the way they stay close and their bodies lean towards the other is reminiscent of the couples at the fair.

One of the greatest things about the current timeline is that a lot of large cats survived the mass extinction. They are likely to die within his lifetime but it’s still a win.

A few hours into the visit they stop by a gift shop. Otabek wants something for his mother. Lilia had to remain at the hospital for a check-up, he should get a souvenir for her too. She is important, that much is clear without having to use the box.

The souvenirs are also a mix of old and new. Yuri gets a tiny tiger figurine that fits on the palm of his hand. When he scratches the head it runs around in circles a couple of times, then returns to its position. It’s all worth it just for this.

Otabek gets another bear, not as fluffy or cute as Beka Bear. This one wears a tiger hoodie. The fair tiger must have felt lonely.

They leave shortly after sunset. Staying longer would have been hard. Hours of walking under the sun, while fun, left them dead tired, dragging their feet as they walk.

Otabek worked security in the morning so he could rest on the way back. They sit together, leaning into each other more out of necessity than anything else. Mila is a couple of seats in front, her face betrays her worry. Chris is next to her, winking at him. Will they ever mind their own business?

Yuri closes his eyes, when he leans back Otabek follows, resting on his chest. Yuri wraps his arms around him. So warm and comfortable.

Otabek is such a good friend Yuri doesn't mind getting slept and drooled on. It’s a bit endearing.

The hours in that position make him stiff by the time they get off. His back hurts and his joints refuse to bend. Everything aches, his bed has never been more tempting.

They make their way to the third floor and stop at Yuri's room first. JJ and Kenjirou aren’t there yet.

Time to say goodbye to the perfect day. Yuri turns to Otabek and the floor moves from under him. Otabek tries to hold him up but he still ends up hitting the wall with his back. His fists tight on Otabek’s sleeves.

Yuri giggles. Otabek seems to be in the same state, his eyes are bit unfocused, with the cutest sleepy smile. His smile is so rare, usually, he covers it up with his hand. It’s nice of him to walk him over too. Sweet and helpful and so very nice. As nice as his lips feel.

The tingling on Yuri’s lips remains when he steps away and leans on the wall again. Otabek’s eyes are still closed. Did he fall asleep?

Oh shit, what did he just do? He's done it now, he ruined the friendship. He didn't mean to, his brain wasn't all there at that moment. It’s not how or when it should have happened. The chances are over now. The opportunity will never repeat itself.

Otabek opens his eyes, the sleepiness is gone and back is the old intensity. He gives a step forward and kisses Yuri. It lasts more than a second this time. He puts a hand to his hair and presses him more against the wall. Sleep makes way for the fire that invades his body, starting in every part they touch.

They come apart and Otabek moves to kiss at his neck.

“Beka...”

He breathes on his ear. “Yura…” Something breaks in that moment. When he says his name, Otabek freezes and steps away with eyes wide open, shaking his head.

Is he really that bad a kisser? It was his first one. There weren't many people to do it with back home.

“I-I was wrong. Sorry. Mila was right, we can't be friends. This isn't right. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.” He talks fast as he steps away, more to himself than to Yuri.

He practically runs to his room like someone is chasing him and gets inside without looking back once.

What does Mila have to do with any of this? What just happened? Is it something he did or said? Did he finally realize that Yuri is not Yurio and can't ever compare to him? Was he just some lousy replacement all along? The pit in his stomach is back, so is the burning in his eyes and throat. His vision blurs and the strength on his legs goes away. When his roommates get there, they find him hugging his knees, his face buried in them and crying.

Why does he keep crying? Things were clear from the moment he stepped into this world. Yurio was loved, but that does not transfer to him. He made peace with it already, months ago. This is his own fault for thinking he could be friends with someone that knew Yurio.

Of course, he would be a cheap replacement, discarded when they found he was nothing like the original. Of course, the day would come where things reached an end. Too much happiness is not something that has ever been allowed. Not for someone like Yuri.

They don't move him. They sit by his side, hug him and protect him from the nosy passersby.

At some point, when he’s almost fallen asleep, someone carries him to the bottom bunk bed. It's much tighter than he remembers but likes it better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very hard for me to write but it's the one I enjoyed reading the most. I hope you enjoyed it too <3


	12. Through the Dark

After crying himself to sleep in what has to be the most embarrassing night of his life, Yuri wakes as the middle spoon between his two idiotic roommates in the tiny lower bunk bed. Somehow they managed to all squeeze in it and remain there during the night.

Being rejected wasn’t enough humiliation, there had to be an audience for it. At this point, it’s the least of his problems. He’s not very comfortable but not in a rush to move either. Let the world keep on going while he stays in bed forever.

JJ is on the wall, his arm over Yuri and Kenjirou, with one of his legs between Yuri’s.  Kenjirou holds onto Yuri’s hand with a strong grip. They might have fused together during the night. It's hot, everything aches, and there's a lack of feeling in his fingers.

Not even the need to pee will get him off this bed. If he has an ‘accident’ over them, then so be it. His eyes are sore and puffy, opening them is out of the question.

Once he gets up, he will have to deal with it. It will be real and something will need to be done about what burns deep in his insides like it hasn't in years. Breaking a certain someone's face with his fist will only lead to trouble. No one can stop him from dreaming though.

How dares that asshole do this to him? Lead him on, act like he sees him and not Yurio, like it could be a real friendship and then pull this shit. Now, of all times. After so many months. To let it come this far only to say “oops sorry, my bad” when he could have done it at any moment. The perfect chance was there after Yuri learned the truth. But no, he wanted to be friends, get his hopes up and squash them like it’s nothing. And now he is out one best friend.

Granted, Yuri could have stayed away and kept to his original plan, but he approached him. There are only so many times anyone can say resist a man like that. It’d take superhuman willpower to not do it. The first kiss just happened, it wasn't planned. They could have left it as a sleepy accident and moved on, but no, he had to throw himself on Yuri and cause all this.

No one forced that asshole into this position. The time they spent together was because they both wanted to, so why wait until now? Why not sooner? Before it became what it is. Before it was so hard to let go. When there was still a chance to leave whole.

Was it pity? That he had no other friends and was all alone. Or revenge? A way of punishing him for what happened after the Ripple. It had been a game, with the purpose of taking his heart and throwing it to the fire. It was his turn to hurt like he hurt others.

It’s the lack of experience fucking Yuri over again. If he had any, he wouldn't have been so blind, it could have been under his control. He would have seen it coming and turned it in his favor. He would have screwed Otabek over first.

That jerk better not show his face around anytime soon if he wants to keep his teeth.

  
  


They don't run into each other. Not that day or any other that week. The coward doesn't have the balls to come explain himself and hides away in his room, only coming out when it's time to work or eat.

It seems the story made it everywhere over the weekend. Every single person knows, no one is left in the dark.

After Wednesday dinner, Nikolai stops him on his way to the baths. He puts a hand on his shoulder and makes his best impression of a concerned relative. “Yuri, how have you been? I heard what happened and—"

“Oh, you heard?” Yuri snaps, and Nikolai shuts his trap instantly. “Did he run around telling everyone? Is that what he did after he ran away?” It’s the first time he doesn't try to ignore him and walk away from a talk. This time he gets closer to the old man, raising his volume. “What more did he tell you? Go on, tell me all about it. I want to hear everything. Was it shit? Disgusting? Does it compare? How am I lacking, Nikolai? Please, enlighten me. Keep telling me more about how I don't compare to your grandson, go on. We both know you love to do it. What else do you want to tell me? Why are you always trying to talk to me? I know you would prefer to have your grandson here but he is dead and gone and it has nothing to do with me. So save it and stay away. I don't give a shit about anything you want to say, now or ever, Nikolai.”

Yuri gets yanked away and thrown over someone’s shoulder.

“That's it. You're making a scene.”

He tries to kick and punch any part of JJ’s body he can find. Who does he think he is? Picking him up like some common potato sack. Just when he's finally telling that shitty old man off.

He is thrown to the floor once they enter their room. JJ blocks the door while Kenjirou hurries to help him to his feet. He pushes him away.

“I don't know the details but you can’t go around taking it out on everyone else. We’re worried about you.”

“Oh, would you prefer I isolate myself and live off memories and alcohol?” Yuri shouts, still on the floor.

“I’ll overlook that, I know you don't mean it.” JJ’s anger has gone away. He slumps, his eyes dull.

Another one to the list of fuck ups. Someone should do a favor to the world and sow his mouth shut. It was uncalled for, his friends have done nothing but try to be there for him. They're right, he needs to get his shit together.

Yuri rubs his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

They sit on either side.

“If you ever want to talk about it, we’ll be here.” Kenjirou hugs him with one arm.

That would be so embarrassing, though it does lift a weight. There’s no need for a best friend back if he has these two around.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nikolai and his misguided concern, he can handle. His friends worried sick, he can handle. Not being able to see Potya from now on, he can handle. That asshole not having the balls to explain himself, he can handle. What he can’t handle is Mila’s guilty face every time their paths cross.

What does she have to feel so guilty about? Her dream finally came true. Her Precious Baby Beka asked to be left alone. They're no longer friends, no longer anything. This all she ever wanted, so why the fuck does she look so apologetic?

So he is a pathetic mess, boo hoo. It's none of her fucking business. She and everyone else can save their pitiful looks and shove them. It’s not the end of the world and no one drops dead because a friendship ends.

Yuri already went off on Nikolai, everyone heard about that one too. If she doesn't change the way she looks at him then she’ll be next on the list. This time no one will hold him back, no one will be there to save her.

Mila doesn't approach him, a wise decision. Neither does Otabek, a cowardly one.

Rage-working on the flowers is strangely productive and therapeutic. Because of the atmosphere he creates when entering a room, they give Yuri the greenhouse where Isabella’s flowers were grown all to himself. There’s a joy in working alone and at his own pace.

Life goes on, so do the weeks. There is still no explanation, no excuse. It just is and he has to live with it. Never get confirmation or closure. Only the knowledge that there is something wrong in him, that he isn't enough, that it's beyond saving. He has lost someone important, there is a hole he can't fill, and he doesn't know why.

Though the crime outside the community kept its steady rise, nothing has happened inside since disappearance day. When the alarm rings, everyone reacts as if they had been waiting for it all along. Always on guard, ready to jump into action.

The instructions are to lock themselves in a room, be it theirs or one near. The scan will make sure they’re all safe.

Yuri locks himself in his room with JJ and Kenjirou, adding the manual locks to the usual door security. Their playing cards on the floor, they can finish the game when they have the head for it.

The alarm keeps ringing for about ten minutes, then stops. There are no voices in the corridor, no people walking, the outside world fades away.

It's not over soon. Most of their nails get bitten away by the time they get the news through the speakers. There’s been another disappearance.

The family and friends of the victim will be called.

At least they know two others who are safe, but what about the rest of their friends? It’s a shitty thing to hope it is a random nobody that disappeared and not one of their acquaintances.

Every minute that goes by without getting a call is a gift. Then all of them get a message on the Traveler group chat.

_ YAKOV _

_ Meeting at my house. _

_ Important. _

Must really be for the old man to use the chat. They're going to have to leave the safety of their room, of the building to meet at his house. Out in the open, where anyone can get to them.

JJ calls Yakov before they take a step outside to make sure they're not being lured out by a murderer.

When he confirms it, Yuri’s heart sinks. It's great that Yakov is alive and all, but if they're being called to a meeting while someone disappeared then it means some serious shit went down.

They make it to Yakov’s place out of breath and sweaty but in record time. Not that it's important but Yuri won their little race.

Inside, they find the council members with Victor, who is shaking on the couch. Sara arrives not long after they do.

“Sorry, getting rid of Mikey is never easy.” She spots Victor and hurries to his side. “Sweetie, are you ok? What's wrong?”

Victor raises his head to look at Kenjirou. “It’s Yuuri, he's been taken.”

Kenjirou shakes his head and falls in a heap to the floor. JJ immediately goes to console him, Yuri stands frozen.

Katsudon was kidnapped. He isn't dead but, who can confirm that it isn't better that way? Taking someone alive could result in a fate worse than death, often did. Katsudon is too sweet to deserve any of that in any timeline.

“This time, the security footage was able to give us something,” Lilia says. “Victor tells us you might know him.”

Victor clenches his fist. “It was Celestino,” he says through gritted teeth.

 

* * *

 

 

It's there, on the video. How an unstable person bypassed security and entered undetected to kidnap one of their own is a concern. One more acceptable than his love life.

Celestino didn't have a genius plan. Though he tried to tamper with the cameras, he couldn't do it with all. They're able to catch glimpses of him taking an unconscious Katsudon away, but not of the way he came and went.

“There is no doubt about it, it's him. Strange and twitchy, but him.” JJ squints at the recording as if it’ll become clearer.

“The Celestino of this time is a wealthy man. I figured he would be a complete stranger to people here?” Yuri asks Lilia.

“We know who he is, but have no relationship with him. No one here has ever met him in person.”

Yuri nods, running a hand through his hair. “There is no way he would take both Phichit and Katsudon by coincidence. The only way this makes sense is if that isn't the Celestino of this time. If he is from a different timeline, one were he knows us. Possibly our own.”

“I don't get it.” Kenjirou isn't the only one. The others seem as lost as he is.

“Yuuri and Phichit were together in our timeline. Pichit was Celestino’s son, he was devastated after his death. It's a bit hard to believe, though possible, that they have similar relationships on a timeline we don't know actually exists. So while it is possible that he isn't our Celestino, it’s likely he is,” Victor says.

“Pichit’s body hasn't been found yet,” JJ continues. “If Pichit was abducted, and now Katsuki too by Celestino, then there is very little to think about.”

Sara gives an exasperated sigh. “I feel so useless right now. I can't tell you how he got here, if he was the one in the past, or if this has anything to do with Mickey’s death.”

They’re beating around the bush, Yuri is the one that puts their thoughts into words. “If he Rippled here or time traveled, it doesn't matter. The requirement is the same for both: a bracelet. Georgi is still MIA, and Katsuki died somewhere. Those are the only bracelets unaccounted for.”

“So you’re saying he either killed Georgi or Katsuki?”

“Let’s be real. He killed Katsuki and used the bracelet to travel back, which ended with Michele's death, Sara being hunted, and a missing Georgi. That bastard was losing his mind at the end but I didn't think it would be to this degree.”

JJ snaps his fingers, recalling something. “They did have a big argument at my wedding, the day before Katsuki’s disappearance.”

Kenjirou’s mouth hangs open in horror. “I hope he's from a different timeline.”

It’d be better for all involved if that is the case. Being a public figure, finding out things about him shouldn't be very hard.

 

* * *

 

 

It doesn't take long for them to find Celestino’s address in the inner city. They also find a bunch of articles talking about his disappearance and being found shortly after in the outer city. It lines perfectly with the Ripple. From then on it's gossip and rumors about his health and odd behavior.

Entering the inner city isn't easy, according to Lilia. Out of everyone in the community, only two people are free to do it: Yuri and Mila. Anyone else will be held at the wall.

It’s organized very fast. By the next day, Mila has the necessary information and is ready to go on the mission with Yuri.

“This is going to be a long trip, we could use it to get to know each other better.” Her cheery tone is extremely fake. “My father is a politician. I was born there but I lost the right to live there when I became a cyborg. They only allow us to visit.”

She pauses as if waiting for him to say something. He doesn't.

Sharing the car with her is worse now that she pities him than when she hated him. It’s hard to ignore her when she insists on sharing her story and talking to him. That he stares out the window with his arms crossed and in complete silence isn't hint enough for her.

“I lost my arm during my mid-teens. A kidnapping went wrong but I befriended Beka after. He got Grandpa Nikolai to let me live there. We’ve been good friends since then.”

Wow, one shitty subject after another one. Maybe she should try taking her eyes off the road, that way she can see on her own how much of a fuck he doesn't give. There must be something wrong with her that doesn't allow her to correctly interpret silences.

Her attempts at playing nice are mediocre. Like he doesn't know that she rejoiced when she got the news. Her happiness is his misfortune. Yuri isn't about to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

Mila sighs, drumming her fingers on the wheel. “I know that we’ve had our problems, you and I, but I feel like we need to talk about what happened after the zoo.”

Unbelievable. Yuri turns on the radio and ups the volume until a conversation is impossible. Jumping off a moving car is starting to become appealing.

Mila turns down the volume to a level that won't leave them deaf soon. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll shut up now.”

They drive for a few hours, Mila keeps her word. There is not a peep from her but he catches her looking his way through the mirror sometimes.

Yuri hands Yurio’s ID to her when they start getting close to the wall entry. It’s incredibly large and somewhat well protected. There is no waiting time. The man in the security booth checks it and lets them pass without a word. Yurio had a standing invitation, his mother fixed it years ago in hope that he would change his mind and live with her. He didn’t visit once.

Shortly after crossing, they stop by the side of a road. There are fewer people walking the streets of the inner city. It's cleaner, with nicer roads and tall buildings that have trees and plants growing on them. It's like stepping years into the future after walking through that wall. The upper class really is keeping the best for themselves in any timeline.

Yuri pulls out Yurio’s old phone. He was given special emergency permission to handle it. The first thing he sees after unlocking it is a picture of him kissing Otabek. It’s disgusting and the only way to get even with the world is to allow him to drive several times over this phone.

It rings in his hand. He was supposed to call his mother as soon as they crossed. Nikolai already spoke to her after the Ripple. His finger hovers over it.

Mila could do the call. She has the advantage of not having killed the woman’s son and talk using his voice. It saves her the pain and him the bother of having to hear her cries.

Anything for Katsudon.

He accepts the call and slowly raises the phone to his ear. She doesn't want to speak first, so Yuri does. “Hello?” No reply. “It’s Yuri from the second timeline. Mila and I are on our way.” Only the breathing through the speaker gives away at a real person behind the call. She hangs up.

Yuri grunts. That is so rude, why call if they’re not going to talk? There is no way that was a butt dial or something.

Mila drives to where his mother lives. It's not far, but it's beautiful. The gardens are wide and well kept, with many flowers, bushes, and trees.

She half runs out of the house, stops right in front of Yuri. She hasn't changed at all from Yurio’s memories. Neither one says anything at first, too busy taking each other in to do much.

Yurio’s mom brings her hand to his cheek. “I see that old man’s experiment did work in the end. Never thought I’d see the day. You must be that kid he used to see in the past, the reason he was so sure my baby was destined to travel.”

It’s a mistake, they shouldn’t have come here. All this woman wants is someone to blame. It’s so tiring, being constantly on the receiving end of complaints. His opinion or struggle is never taken into consideration. Either that or she is also on the look for a replacement.

“What's with that face?” She pinches his cheek. “You're still my child, so come here.” She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down. His hands hover over her back while she gives him a long, tight hug.

She is so short, the position is doing a number on his back. It’s a strong hold she has on him. Yuri doesn't hold her back until she starts trembling a bit and her tears wet his shirt. She controls herself fast.

Yurio’s Mom puts distance back between them, quickly drying her eyes. “Why don't we eat something first before I take you to Celestino’s?” She brings Mila into a hug too. “Sweetheart, it’s been so long. Are you visiting your dad too?”

She shakes her head.

They follow her into the house. It’s large, cold and empty, it lacks personality, unlike that cramped little space he’s been living in. The food is already in the corner of a large table, it’s not much. She claims to have made Yurio’s favorite food. He’s never seen it before. Hopefully, it will taste as delicious as it smells.

Yuri blows on it to not get burned and takes a small test bite. Damn, that kid had good taste.

There are no attempts at a conversation, they eat fast and in silence. How is he supposed to address her anyway? She is nothing to him and doesn’t even know her name. Plus, Mila is there, eyeing the both of them as she eats.

As soon as they finish, they get into their car and follow Whatsername. She leads the way to Celestino’s home not far from her’s. It’s much larger but not as well kept. Too much for one person, they could house dozens in there. Why one person needs so much space is beyond him. The grass is overgrown and there are tire tracks on it as well as trash.

The front door is so large and imposing, everything is insignificant in comparison.

“I’ll go ring.”Mila hurries away before he can protest, leaving him alone with his alternate mother.

“Thanks for everything, um…” Shit, Yuri rubs the back of his neck. Would it be too rude to tell her he hated her so much in his timeline he never bothered to learn her name?

“If it’s not much to ask, call me Mom.” Her eyes water and there is no way anyone on earth would have the heart to say no at that moment.

“Thanks, Mom.” He chokes on that last word. It has been so long since he last said it. He can’t get angry at her guilt-tripping when he did the same to others.

She smiles through the tears and raises her arms towards him. Yuri rolls his eyes and hugs her tight. It’s so different. The top of her head reaches his nose. Her hair smells nice, like fruits. Her embrace is warm, not at all like he remembers.

“Did you bring something to defend yourself? I managed to get hold of a gun recently if you want it. Or I could go in with you.”

Yuri grabs her shoulders. “That's not necessary. If he is who we think he is, he won't hurt us. And if he tries, well, I trust Mila is tough enough to help take him on.”

She nods. “After you’re done here please come back. I want us to talk, see more of each other before you leave again.”

“I will.” He is not lying. “Later, Mom.” With a last quick hug, he joins Mila by the still closed doors.

“I don't think anyone is inside.” She knocks on the door, then rings the doorbell several times. Nothing happens.

Yuri tries the pad by the door, it's broken. Then, to rule off possibilities, he throws himself at it. It gives a loud crack and it opens. It wasn't locked, more like stuck. He shares a look with Mila. She makes a fist with her right hand, ready to destroy or stop anything coming her way. Yuri lets her in first, he’s just a normal human after all.

The inside is dark, all the windows have closed curtains and the lights are off. There's broken or torn furniture thrown on the floor, trash, and paper everywhere. It looks like they haven’t dusted in months. Muddy footprints and other marks cover almost the entire floor. Not only that, there is a weird, rancid smell and spider webs everywhere.

The back of Yuri’s throat prickles, he covers his nose in an attempt to keep the vomit away.

There better not be anyone still living in this dump.

The kitchen isn't much better. Large, empty and with a mountain of dirty plates in the sink and some broken ones in the floor. Food stains on the wall. A half-eaten sandwich rots away on the table. There is a sharp, dirty knife lying close by, Yuri grabs it. If the stab doesn’t kill whoever attacks him at least they’ll catch something and die from it.

They share a quick look and walk out. The smell is too strong, it makes their eyes water. If someone is hiding here, they’d have to be superhuman to withstand the living conditions. And if this is the state of the rest of the house there is no way in hell he is checking the bathroom.

“Oh come on.” Mila whimpers. “I think that's a dead animal over there, fusing with the floor.”

Nope, not looking. Yuri will just take her word for it and go search up the stairs. The house is huge and if it’s all like this then they better get this over with before they catch something.

By the time they reach the third floor they don’t need to cover their faces anymore. It still smells terrible but they’re halfway used to it. The higher the rooms, the cleaner they are. Still not one person in the house and he can’t blame them. When Yuri is about to suggest they give up the search, there is a noise from one of the rooms. Yuri’s grip on the knife strengthens. Mila goes first, walking slowly. All the doors have been torn from the rooms, letting them free to look inside quick but also unprotected.

They stand on each side of the door, waiting for the right moment. The room is as dark and clean for once, but not empty. Mila bursts in and Yuri gathers his courage to go after her.

There is a body on the floor, unmoving and familiar. Yuri let's go of the knife and runs to turn the person face up. It’s Katsudon, his stupid glasses still on his face, though at an awkward position.

Mila checks his vitals. “He is still alive, we have to get him out of here.” She lifts Katsudon up with one arm, throws him over her shoulders and walks out of the room. Are they supposed to touch someone they found on the floor like that? Hopefully, she didn’t just make whatever he has worse.

Yuri stops at the door frame and turns back. That noise again, coming from under the large, unmade bed. He’ll have to get on the disgusting floor to peek under it. Sure, it’s better than the rest of the house at plain sight, but is it really? At least it's not a piss alley this time.

He grabs the knife again. Failing to think of a good plan, he goes down on all fours and pulls the ruffled bed skirt up.

It's not a murderer in there that stabs or shoots him in the face, Yuri breathes again. Just some crying little kid covering his head with his hands. There is something familiar about the trembling little figure.

“Guang Hong?” Yuri wasn't friends with Celestino’s sons and it's been a long time since the wedding but the resemblance is there.

“Please don't hurt me,” he cries. That’s his voice.

“Hey, it's okay kid, we’re here to help you. Come on.” He stretches out his hand and leaves it there, eventually, he takes it.

Guang Hong isn't hurt but he is a scared, crying wreck. He’s a bit underweight, with long, oily hair but he looks okay. He walks slow and doesn’t let go of Yuri on the way to the first floor. His grip is so strong he could break Yuri’s hand at any moment. Almost ten minutes later, they join back with Mila at the door.

Walking outside almost blinds them but it's worth it for the fresh, clean air. Once he gets back to the Donut he is not leaving the bath until his body shrivels to a wrinkly little ball.

Yuri's new mom is still outside, pacing back and forth in front of the car. She runs to help them, gun in hand, and scares the crap out of Guang Hong, who hides behind him. The hug from the back is so strong his ribs almost crack again.

They help him to the back of the car with Katsudon and Mila, Yuri gets shotgun. Mom drives back home as fast as she can and calls for her doctor on the way.

At her home, Mila lays Katsudon on her sofa and they wait commences. Guang Hong refuses to leave his side and sits by his feet. Yuri gets a chair and sits in a corner of the room. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint to leave him alone.

He’d gone into that house ready for action, danger and someone to stab, only to walk out with some new kid to babysit. It should be a crime, it was a robbery, a fraud. His hands itch for a face to punch. What a joke.

The doctor informs them Katsudon is under a drug-induced sleep, which will end soon. Aside from that, he seems to be in perfect health. It's good to know the disgusting conditions of that house didn't destroy him from the inside, apart from the damage to his psyche.

“He had trouble sleeping.” Guang Hong talks for the first time in hours. “Phichit thought it would help him. It was of great help to us during our first days there.”

“What?” Mila stands up. “Phichit was there? Are there any more people? We have to go back.”

“No, we were the only ones left. That man, h-he took Phichit, he couldn't carry Yuuri with them while he slept so they left him. He tried to take me too but I don't think he even noticed when I escaped.”

“Why did he try to take you away? Did he know we were coming?”

“He got a call, started rambling about being together forever, no one coming between us. I thought… I thought he was going to take us away and kill us.” Guang Hong breaks down crying into his palms.

Mila moves to sit next to him on the floor and rubs his back. She meets Yuri’s eyes. They have a traitor, their visit was made from one day to the next, few people knew they were on their way.

“I thought—it was scary, but he didn't hurt us.”

The kid needs to talk about it, it’s obvious. Yuri walks over to sit at his other side. “We’ll hear anything you want to share,” he says as if reading from a script. He’s never been good at this stuff. This was Georgi and Katsuki’s area.

“You don't have to if you don't want to yet,” Mila says.

He nods several times. “That gang, the ones that still use gas bikes, they had been showing up and staring at me. It's not rare for it to happen, I thought they had their eyes on me. That I was next, my body would be found, or worse, not. And one day it happened. I woke up in that house, all alone with that man.” His voice breaks, he has to take deep breaths to calm his crying enough to keep going. “ I thought it would be some horrible human trafficking thing but he just wanted us to pretend to be a family. Call him dad, but I'm not good at acting, he said I just missed my brothers, that as long as I had them I would be happy. I don't have any brothers. That's when he showed up with Phichit.

“It got easier after, but not by much. Some days he'd be okay, in the present, others he would cry and yell about us being dead and I thought he would kill us, then he would be okay like he didn't know us, didn't know why we were there or why those people were in his house. That man isn't in his right mind, he can't tell reality apart anymore.

“He kept talking about our happiness, asking who we needed. Phichit had been here so long he couldn't hide his misery anymore. And then he came with Yuuri. He was Phichit’s friend, but he kept insisting about a wedding. He was completely out of his mind, wouldn't listen to reason. He didn't hurt us physically but we couldn't leave, we tried to get help but no one listened. He paid them off, he always paid them off. I'm so scared, I don't know what he's gonna do to Phichit, please help him.”

“I know—I know he can be scary, but we don't think Phichit’s life is in danger.” Yuri tries to calm all of them.

Guang Hong sets his icy glare on him. “He kept apologizing for killing Yuuri and some Yakov. I know Yuuri is still alive but it must have been in his plans. No one is safe around him. He is a danger for everyone. Besides, that gang kept coming over, if he is involved with them then it's only a matter of time,” he snaps.

The revelation is a punch to the stomach. So not only Katsuki, Yakov too. It wasn’t the old age coupled with the drinking. They failed the old man. Celestino killed Katsuki, took the bracelet, and made Yakov program his travel. Why help him? He was gonna die anyway, so why not say fuck it and not do it? Did Celestino do it alone or did he have help? What did Yakov know that they didn't?

  
  


It’s late at night already and Katsudon isn't up yet, Guang Hong sleeps next to him. He refuses to leave his side even to pee. They had to bring him dinner and eat with him on the floor so he wouldn’t be lonely.

Mila corners him in the kitchen shortly past midnight. “We need to leave soon Yuri, Grandpa is worried. If Katsuki is okay then there is no reason to stay. I’ll put him in the car along with Guang Hong, you can take this time to say goodbye to your mother.”

Yuri takes a bite of the cold pizza slice he found in the fridge. He is in the process of staring her down when he is hugged from behind. This time it’s not painful. Mila looks behind, turns around and calls for Guang Hong as she walks into the living room.

“You can stay if you want. We could give this a try, you and I.”

Yuri closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “In my timeline, you left and never looked back. You could have, but you didn't.”

Her arms loosen but she holds on. “I see. My baby didn't want anything to do with me either. I’m not saying we can replace each other’s family. Your mother and my son, they are important but in my heart, I still feel that I'm yours and you're mine and if it didn't work out with us in our native timelines, why can't we try it again now? It could have been meant to happen. We can try again, be each other's family. Please think about it.”

Fuck everything. Out of all the people, it has to be her. Unbelievable, the supposedly shitty mother is the only one to say 'yes, Yurio is important but so are you.' The only one to give a true chance to be something. They deserve love and forgiveness. A new life.

Yuri turns around in her arms and hugs her back, eyes watering a little. They’re finally home again.

“Yuri we’re—oh.”

Mila stands frozen, her eyes wide open and thumb pointing back.

“You can go, I'm staying with my mom.”


	13. If I Should Fall

With Mom’s new husband on a business trip, she is free to spend the whole month with Yuri. It’s amazing, he is a cool guy but they’re still too awkward around each other. Now they have a chance to spend most of their time together telling stories. Things he had only ever said to his best friend, and some that not even to him.

They do everything together. Share recipes, take care of the gardens and have karaoke nights. Only one of them can sing, and that’s fine. Movie nights when they rank the actors from best to better looking are the most fun. They fight only once over the number one spot on the best ass list. It’s more than he ever could have imagined, but it isn't enough.

It starts as a little speck in his heart that grows every day until it’s an all-consuming ball that won't let him be. Mom notices fast enough. When it happens, she says nothing and hugs him, humming that song until his heart settles. Her blessed voice can’t stop the problem from becoming embarrassingly frequent.

“Do you want to tell me about him?”

“Who?”

She puts her novel down and takes off her glasses. “You know who, Yuri. You’ve only mentioned him in passing, but I can tell.”

Yuri rolls his eyes, puts his own novel down and rolls over in the bed, giving his back to her. “There isn't much to tell.”

She sighs. “You’re not dating him too, are you?”

Yuri shakes his head, not trusting his voice.

“Good, that boy was never good for anything but keeping my child from me.” She climbs over his side to grab his face and plant a kiss on his cheek.

He turns his face away again.

“Oh, baby. How bad was it? What did he do?”

He is so pathetic. It’s been more than a month since he left, he should be a little bit over it. But the hollowness comes over him as it did the first day. His chest burns the same, so do his eyes and throat. He should be better already, should be over it. They were nothing, just friends. Yuri breaks, not able to hold it back anymore. Tears roll sideways into the bed. He hiccups and tries to drown a sob but fails. Now even his mother can see how lame he is. And how unwanted he is back there. Not only that, he abandoned his oldest friend because some guy broke his heart. How shameful.

She puts one arm around him. “Is that what has you like this? You’ve been so distant lately. Do you miss the boy? I don't like asking this but, do you want to go back?”

“He doesn't miss me. No one does.” Only Georgi ever cared for him enough to miss him and Yuri abandoned him the first chance he got.

“Baby, don't say that. Sure, you’re a bit grumpy and have a temper, but you’re such a wonderful person. I'm sure they all miss you a lot. Tell you what, why don't you visit your friends for the weekend or the whole week. You don't have to look at that boy at all if you don't want. And if you want to stay with them, I will support you. If at the end you still rather be here, I will welcome you back with open arms. I love you and you will always have a home here.”

“I love you too, Mom.” He dries his tears. The hole in his chest a little less deep.

“What do you say then?”

“Okay. I'll text them today so they can get ready.”

 

* * *

 

 

The Traveler chat has had no activity at all since he left. Did they block him? It's what he would’ve done. No one replied to his message. Yuri could be dropping in on them out of nowhere. That is if they are still there. Anything could have happened while he was away, there could have been another death. It would explain why no one bothered to answer his text. Everyone is dead, he is the only survivor.

It’s clear by the time he drives to the gates and they open that everything is fine. Life has gone as normal for the residents of the Donut. The world didn't end while he was gone. They still pick fruit from the multicolored trees, tend to the gardens and animals, the children still attend school. He's been gone for over a month and nothing has changed.

He leaves Mom’s car in the garage and fills the paperwork. First stop: where the idiots gather, JJ’s room. Yuri gives three steps into the playground and someone tackles him to the ground, his bag flying off. The weight keeps piling on top of him as the idiots jump one after the other, knocking his breath out. Even little Guang Hong joins in.

“Yuri!” Kenjirou yells directly into his ear. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Yuri shoves them all off and sits on the ground, out of breath. The others lay around him.

JJ pulls him in to mess his hair. “Me too, Yuri, I felt so lonely at night without you.” He is so loud there is no way someone in the Donut didn't hear that.

Yuri shoves him away harder. “Get off, dumbass.”

“Weren't your nights lonely without us, Yuri?” Kenjirou asks. “We felt so bad we had to offer your bed to Guang Hong to make it better. He's our friend now.”

It’s impossible to be angry at the ball of sunshine but he will try. “If you gave my bed away where am I supposed to sleep?”

JJ hugs him again, squishing his cheek against his face. “Don't worry, Darling, you can share my bed for as long as you like. It will be a sleepover every night like in the old days.”

Nothing against Guang Hong, but a sleepover with an extra idiot doesn't sound good at all. Much less with one that keeps coughing so much. He’ll have to find some other place to sleep. Be it with Katsudon or even Makkachin if he must.”

His stomach growls, everyone turns to look at it.

Katsudon talks for the first time, with a shy smile. “Lunch is soon, we better start heading there if we want a good spot.”

  
  


Lunch is a surreal experience. Half the people are sick, and they look it, with their pale, sweaty faces and bloodshot eyes. A few of them could drop dead any second.

Victor catches his eye. “They still don’t know how it’s spreading. About half of the community has it now. Mostly children and the elderly. Last week some of the council’s files leaked, apparently, now they know what killed him. Not that it was on purpose but that he was sick. No one else has died yet, but it destroyed the mood.”

Is death the endgame for all or was the guy the exception? Guang Hong covers his mouth to cough again. It’s so violent, for a second it seems as if he is going to break himself.

They fill him up over lunch about the events since he decided to stay with Mom. Every so often, someone in the cafeteria has a coughing fit so large it stops all conversation. They are quick to get back on topic.

Everyone believes Phichit is still alive, Nikolai and Lilia have contacts in charge of the search. Guang Hong decided to stay since he no longer felt safe in his old home.

They claim to be so happy he came to visit that they throw him a party in the common area. A lot of strangers Yuri only knows from sight are there. They check his wrist when he enters. The community is a bit divided on whether the sick should be allowed to interact with others.

It’s obvious they aren’t doing this because they missed him, they just needed an excuse to party. But fun is fun so, who cares?

The most excited by far are Kenjirou and JJ, dancing wildly around the room. Other dancers around them make space to not get a flying arm or leg to the face. JJ calms down after he runs into Isabella being mushy with her new husband. It’s an asshole move to show up to the party of the friend of your ex, but JJ did crash her wedding.

There is spare alcohol from the wedding making rounds. For some reason, Otabek is in charge of the music. It takes almost an hour for him to stop wanting to stick the head of whoever’s idea that was in a dirty toilet. The food, as always, is delicious.

People dance everywhere with everyone. Katsudon proves to have another thing in common with his alternate self and soon loses all his clothes. The training worked, he is a piggy no more. Others follow to various degrees depending on how drunk they are.

Even Aynur is there, and though they’ve barely interacted in this timeline, he agrees to a dance anyway. Even if she raised a terrible human being, she is still plain lovely.

Yuri’s jaw almost hits the floor, Sara is dancing with a man while Michele waits nearby, no murder attempts or ridiculous jealousy scenes. Why did no one share details on  _ that? _ It’s Mila that gets the most dances out of her though, the both of them having the time of their lives. It isn't long until his brotherly love takes over and he needs to dance with his sister again, but that it happened at all is amazing progress.

Sara isn't too upset about it. Whatever chance those two had of distancing themselves probably died along with their respective siblings. This world is a new chance that they are not willing to throw away. Now that he isn't stuck being an unwanted replacement, his heart doesn’t ache at the sight of them.

In a surprise to no one that has ever taken a drink with him, the life of the party is Katsudon. He is the dancing King. Not that Chris and JJ don't try their best to get in the spotlight but it’s impossible to take it away from the dancing former piggy. With incredible stamina and some sweet dance moves, he wipes the floor with everyone. Asking them for a dance-off and winning all.

At one point, there is even some pole dancing. It’s resembling that first party in the past more and more as the night goes on. In the worst case, he can always use the memory box to delete any details he might accidentally see, like JJ’s naked butt.

Truly amazing how after so much time, he is still capable of knowing when exactly Otabek's eyes are on him. It’s annoying as fuck. His body reacts differently when it's him, it burns. Perhaps, it would have been better to stay with Mom and catch up on the tv shows and the hot actors that didn't cause his body to betray him. But his stupidity brought him here again, with the intense stare calling to turn, to pay attention.

Scratching out his eyeballs would be a better use of his time, less painful too. He doesn't get to reject him and then look at him like that, with the heated gaze that promises things that can never be. To hell with him.

Yuri tips his head back and finishes the drink. It will keep him feeling good until the end of the night.

He repeats the process over and over. By the time Otabek leaves the music to someone else and makes his way to him, he can no longer walk straight.

“Hey, Yuri.”

Oh, now he wants to talk? Too late. He turns to leave, only swaying a little.

Otabek grabs his arm, either to stop him from going or from falling on his face. “Please, Yuri, hear me out. I need to explain what happened that day. I think you need it as much as I do.”

“Maybe I needed it when it happened. Not now, when it's been weeks since you had the decency to talk to me.” He tries to pull his arm but his strength left with his sobriety.

Otabek says nothing, so Yuri tries to shake his arm off again. Damn his stupid strength, it isn't even the bionic arm.

Before Mom started doing it this past month, no one had ever hugged Yuri from behind. Now, another person gets added to that list. It’s so different from Mom’s. There is nothing familial about it and the way he presses his body to his back or in his strong arms around him.

This is low. How dare he try to convince him like this? Because Yuri is so desperate that with a bit of contact and affection he'll give in to whatever he wants? Fuck that. He is not stupid enough to fall into the same trap twice. This situation is hopeless and the sooner his feelings die the better.

“What are you doing? You can't do this. You don't get to do what you did and then do this.” Yuri is too drunk to try and fix his shaky, broken voice.

“Please, Yuri, say that you'll hear me. I can't stand this anymore.”

“Neither can I, which is why we can't do this.” He has to get away, make him stop before he changes his mind. Before he gives in.

“Let me explain and then you can decide what to do. I'll leave you alone if you decide that's what you want afterward, please.”

“Okay, but not now. Tomorrow at breakfast.” What a weak, self-traitor he has become. Few times in his life has he done something dumber than in this moment. He presses his eyes and gets out of the hug. Where is that damn vodka?

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri wakes up on the floor of his old room. Being the only one without a proper bed, it makes sense. What doesn't is that the other three are on the floor with him, their beds still perfectly made. Like it took all their effort to make it through the door, and they couldn't bother with more.

Dried drool forms a path from the side of his mouth to his ear, his hair is a disgusting mess, his mouth tastes like shit and worse of all, someone has a hand on his butt. It's impossible to tell whose it is in the tangle of limbs, he punches JJ’s shoulder for it anyway.

He frees himself and gets in the bathroom, his entire body protesting all the way. Everything aches. Existence is painful.

A quick shower and a change of clothes later, he's ready for breakfast. Nothing like getting your heart stomped on first thing in the morning. Really opens the rest of the day to the possibilities.

Breakfast time is almost over when he walks into the cafeteria. A lot of the people there look like they are about to fall dead on the table, including Otabek. Hopefully, it’s from the party and not something more serious. He fiddles with a spoon and glances towards different doors every three seconds. Somehow, he misses Yuri approaching and gives a little jump when he sits in front of him.

It's the worst breakfast date Yuri has ever had. They sit at that table for two for fifteen minutes in complete silence, food untouched and getting cold. Every time their eyes meet, Otabek looks down to his food again.

Shortly after he arrived, so did his friends, dragging their feet and half dead but there. They sit at a table on the other side, pretending not to look and failing miserably. Their condition doesn't lend itself to good spying.

Mila is not much better a few tables away.

If that wasn't enough, Nikolai is there too, plus some random people and maybe even Potya, who knows at this point. When did they decide to make an event out of this? Did they pass out flyers? Post it on all their social media? _ Come to see Yuri Plisetsky get rejected once again! If you're lucky you might get to see him cry! _

“This is getting ridiculous.” He turns to the Traveler table. “Fuck off!”

They don't listen to him or try to hide the spying. They’re waiting to pick up the pieces.

“We could go somewhere more private.”

“I don't think so.”  _ Don't want to be alone with you again _ . “ Get on with it.”

Otabek takes a deep breath and sips his cold coffee. “I'm sorry I kissed you.”

Ouch. Straight to the point. A stab on the heart with his spoon might have been less painful. Yuri stands, ready to leave but Otabek holds his hand before he can do so. It's not that strong a hold, but it's everything.

“Let me finish,” he says faster now, desperate. “I'm sorry I kissed you, pushed you away and ended our friendship without any explanation. The situation we are in is complicated and confusing and I needed to do some thinking. I'm sorry my carelessness hurt you.”

“You had a lot of time and opportunities to think about it. I did and you said you did too.” Yuri stops, sits again, takes a deep breath and continues in a calmer manner. “I've been doing some thinking myself and I can recognize part of it is my fault. The others warned me and deep down I knew they were right. You weren't ready for it. I knew it all along, I could see it in your eyes and I didn't care as long as I had what I wanted.”

“Sounds rehearsed.” Otabek smiles, looking at him through his lashes. It’s a smile that says ‘please don't take offense to the joke’, not ‘we should kiss now’ as his body wants to interpret.

With a smile of his own, Yuri rolls his eyes. “I might have been planning to apologize to you too. Once I was less angry.” Which could have taken years.

“Since we’ve established our faults and apologized, can we have a detailed talk about what happened?”

“I have an idea of what it was and to be honest, I don't want to hear it, but I need to.” How long would it take to dig a tunnel out of there with a spoon?

“I do like you, Yuri, a lot. I want us to keep being friends if you're okay with that.” When he gets no answer, Otabek continues. “I think … I tried to tell myself you were different people from the moment we met. I see now that was a mistake because you aren't.” He holds up his hand to stop Yuri from interrupting. “I know you and him aren't the same, but you also aren't completely different. The more time I spent with you, the more similarities I found. At the core of your being, the two of you are … Yuri. And once I saw that I-I don't know. I got scared, it took me a lot of time to come to terms with it.”

That's not something he can argue with, not when he just spent a month bonding with his alternate mother. That he understands it doesn't mean he likes it.

“Guess that takes care of the weeks spent avoiding me, now to the important part. Which one of us were you kissing?” His voice cracks, his throat in pain from having to force that out. Covering his ears won't work forever. As long as a bit of hope remains, he is lost. His heart has to finish breaking so that it can start to heal.

“Both, I think? And then you called me that, that name he used to call me and I lost all sense of where I was. It was just me and him, only it wasn't, and Mila has been saying it all along. I can't be friends with you until I sort all of this out, it's not fair to me or you. I thought I could control myself at first because you weren't my Yura, but then you were and I became selfish and wanted to be with you and told myself none of my feelings were real, that it was the resemblance messing with my head and you wouldn't see me that way anyway, but then it wasn't only the similarities that I liked and by then it was too late to stop and—”

“And then I kissed you and ruined it.” Yuri cuts his rambling.

Otabek rubs his eyes. “When I realized what I was doing, the mess I had pulled us into, I felt like I was betraying both of you and thought you would be better off without me. If you are, I understand. And I will stop bothering you. I just thought you needed to know what happened. It was all on me, I’m sorry.”

“Are you done sorting your feeling yet?”

“As best as I can. It hasn’t been the same. I did miss you all this time.  _ You, _ separate from Yura, I miss my friend.” Otabek smiles, a tear streaming down his face.

He misses his friend, yay. What Yuri misses is more than a friend, but it’s a start. He could reject him now, laugh in his face and leave, but he does miss his friend too. The sting in his eyes is back, he lowers his head and reaches for Otabek’s hand.

“So what now?”

“Now, I would like for us to try again, for the third time.”

“You don't mind that I want to kiss you half the time?” Yuri leans back in his chair. There goes his chance of pretending it had been a sleepy mistake. Of telling him he felt nothing for him past a friendship.

“I want to kiss you half the time too, right now even. So no, I don't mind. You wanna be friends again or not?” He offers his free hand.

Yuri beams and shakes it. “Friends.”

“But maybe we should not kiss again for a while, to be safe.”

_ Maybe you shouldn't be looking at my lips like that then. _

“Sure.” It’ll be difficult but that ‘for a while’ means the kissing ban will be lifted at some point, how can he not be happy about that?

 

 

The weekend comes to an end. Time to go back. Now that he’s seen them again, it’s weird that it’ll be at least a month until they're reunited.

Even Guang Hong joins the group that goes see him off. They all take their turns to hug Yuri goodbye, some taking the opportunity to mess his hair. Sometimes it sucks to be the youngest.

In the distance, Nikolai and Otabek observe. That old man better not try to get a hug, or is he here to tell him to not bother coming back again?

Otabek walks to the playground, making a motion for Yuri to join him. Good idea, if the group of idiots overhears then everyone will know about it in an hour.

“I’ll be right back,” he says and hurries to meet Otabek by the swings.

They sit side by side with their butts almost dragging on the ground. The swings are too low to be properly used by adults.

“You’re leaving again.”

“I was only coming for the weekend. Mom is waiting for me and I don't have a room here anymore.”

Otabek keeps facing forward. “I guess sharing mine would be a terrible idea at the moment. I hope to see you soon again.”

“You will, I’m not leaving forever. I can visit from time to time.”

He clears his throat and nods in response.

Yuri stands and pulls him up into a hug, much like he did during the wedding. After a bit of hesitation, Otabek hugs back, holding him tight against his body as if trying to fuse with him. That arm of his is a little too strong but he doesn't complain.

They stand that way for a short eternity until it's time to step away. Otabek won't meet his eyes and keeps his head down, a posture that is starting to get old on him. Yuri lifts his chin and places a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Bye. Let’s keep in contact.”

Back in the garage, his friends wait. They cheer and call after him as he drives away.

As he leaves the community, another car is heading in and the most wonderful idea presents itself. Taking advantage of his sudden lack of shame, he stops the other driver and starts to plan the details for the next week.

 

* * *

 

 

Mom agrees to join him on the surprise visit. He takes with him only a small bag with some of his new clothes. The others saved Yuri’s things after he left.

She holds his hand the entire drive. It’s sweaty and uncomfortable but he doesn't let go either.

“I haven't seen you grandfather in years,” she mutters as the gates open. “Never thought I’d be coming back.”

Yuri doesn't correct her about Nikolai. It’s not worth the breath.

They leave the car at the garage and she offers to fill the paperwork while he goes settle.

Lilia’s house is a bit far, the weather is nice enough for a good walk. It’s been a while since he went on one. The exercise routine he’d kept for so long got thrown in the trash the minute he moved in with Mom. Hopefully, if Georgi ever finds out about it he’ll understand and not hold it against him. He hasn't given up on him and the mission, he just needed rest and acceptance.

Lilia already waits for him outside her house. She leads him in and to his new room. It’s small, with a large window by the bed, which takes almost all the space. Too large for one person. A few boxes take the remaining space.

“Nikolai kept most of your belongings, I asked him to bring them over. Have fun unpacking.” Lilia leaves.

All his clothes are still there, nothing got mixed with Yurio’s. Three boxes with pretty much everything he owns later, he stares at a large fourth one. It weighs very little. He rips the top open and there it is.

“Beka Bear.” He holds the stuffed bear to his face. How he missed this little fucker. The nights haven't been the same without him.

Yuri throws himself on the bed, still hugging Beka Bear, and gets ready for their first nap together in more than a month.

He wakes at lunchtime. Mom and Lilia too deep in conversation to notice him slip out. The walk back and forth to the Donut is the only shitty part in this arrangement. At least the house has a kitchen, he can eat there instead of waking at an unreasonable hour to reach breakfast time.

Yuri walks up to the third-floor rooms. Those idiots sure will be surprised to see him again.

Something more interesting catches his eyes before he makes it there. Otabek is searching through his wallet right outside his room and hasn't noticed him or his heavy breathing caused by the stairs.

Forcing his breath under control, he approaches, trying not to give it away with his steps. Careful to stay as out of reach as possible, Yuri covers both of Otabek’s eyes with his hands.

He instantly grabs at them and tries to peel them off without using excessive force. “Wh-Mila?” When there is no answer, he tries again. “Leo? Who is this?”

He tries to get away but Yuri doesn't let him until he presses his hands too hard and he cries out in pain. There is a thing as being too strong. Though he cradles his poor little hands to his chest and coos to them, the pain doesn’t stop.

“Yuri? Shit, did I hurt you?” He holds his hands and examines them. It’s not offensive as it once was. He's not rubbing his superior strength in his face or calling him a little weakling. It’s nothing more than pure concern and it melts his fucking heart.

Yuri intertwines their fingers. “Calm down, I'm okay.” Their eyes meet. “It’s good to see you again.”

They stand in silence a few moments, holding each other's hands between them.

“I didn't know you were visiting.”

“No one did. Surprise, Lilia is letting me stay in her spare room.”

Otabek throws his hands away and hugs him, he stumbles back a few steps. The force of it almost makes him fall on his ass.

“You’re back.”

Yuri says nothing. His ability to string words together is destroyed every time Otabek gets this close. The most he can do is put his arms around him and hug back.

They make a small reunion at Lilia’s house. His mom stays for the rest of the day and he gets to introduce her to everyone. She mostly talks to Nikolai and Lilia.

It’s a fun day but not as much as it could have been if Otabek had joined them.

 

* * *

 

 

Retaking their friendships isn't as easy as they hoped it would be. There is a constant craving for more contact. A longing to spend more time together, to touch. One of the solutions to this problems is to not see each other as often as they used to.

Two evenings together during the weekdays and whatever free time they have during the weekends.

Not all is bad. Improvements include Mila being more civil and not picturing Yuri dying in terrible ways every time their eyes meet. Her pity from their little road trip also gone. She's holding something back, that much is obvious, but after everything that happened there is no way he is going to make it easy for her and ask directly. Let her struggle.

His relationship with Lilia hasn't changed much. Most of his day is spent trying to get back in time travel shape, the piggy being fitter than him is a disgrace. It doesn't leave much time for the gardens. When they do coincide, the conversation between them doesn't lead anywhere.

As for the rest of the Travelers, they just can't keep their noses out of his personal business. It's common enough to be annoying already. Their need to question and criticize his decision to befriend Otabek once more is tiring. They never explain themselves, only share looks to confirm if they too think he is a childish idiot.

This won't end up like last time, or the time before that. Both of them are perfectly aware of where they stand this time around. It’s only a matter of time before it happens, by then his bliss will be so large he won't even want to rub it in their faces.

Waiting is hard, though very necessary. Having Potya with them when they do spend time alone helps distract them. Not by much but if it’s the only thing stopping him from jumping on Otabek then it's good enough. The cat seeing him in those moments would be too hard to handle, looking at little Potya in the face would turn into a nightmare.

Inside their rooms, it’s riskier. The whole atmosphere changes the moment the door closes, leaving them alone together. They no longer share the bed while they talk, instead, they keep to opposite sides of the room.

It would have been offensive if he hadn't noticed the large blush every time they talked or looked at each other. The temptation to smile is too much and he has to hide his face in a pillow. Soon it will be different, soon he will be permitted to act. He won't have to settle for watching Otabek accidentally fall asleep in his bed because he is too tired.

Otabek rolls sideways and rubs his eyes. He touches the exposed bionic side and frowns. “What happened?”

“You fell asleep.”

“Shit.” He tries to get off the bed too fast, gets tangled in the sheets and falls. On his way down he hits a drawer. “Where’s my arm?”

“On the drawer. It’s too late for you to go back so I was planning on letting you stay.” Yuri yawns, pulling his blankets higher.

“I don't think that's a good idea,” he says as he puts the bionic arm and skin back in place.

“Hm, you know what's also not a good idea? Letting you sleep outside. Stop worrying and come back to bed. It’s not the first time we do this. Nothing bad has to happen.”

“Okay.” He untangles himself from the sheets and makes his way under the covers, somehow he almost topples face first to the floor in the process. Sleepy Beka is too cute for this world.

As soon as he settles, Yuri moves closer until they are side to side. “I’m cold.”

It doesn't matter that it's a bad excuse, Otabek lets him and even turns to put an arm over him. He turns too, giving his back and becoming the little spoon just this once, his hand over the one in his stomach. This is wonderful, not even katsudon and pets can compare.

“Yuri?” Otabek’s lips move on the back of his neck.

“Hm?”

“Do you wanna go out tomorrow? To where we went for the first time.” Otabek rubs at his stomach with his thumb, his voice barely loud enough to be heard. “There's a nice lake I want to show you. We could have lunch there.”

Yuri smiles. “Let's not mention it to anyone, I don't want this to end like the zoo.”

At the mention of the zoo, his thumb stops and his mouth moves away. Stupid loose tongue. They had a nice thing going on here and it's not going away as long as he has a say in it. Yuri turns around again, onto his other shoulder, not letting him remove his arm. He makes his way with his fingers up his neck, then cups his cheek. Once he has a sense of where Otabek’s face is, he moves closer until their noses almost touch and their breaths mix.

“What time are we leaving?”

He clears his throat. “Around noon. We should be back by five or so.” Sleep is mostly gone from his voice by now.

“I've never been to a lake before.”

Otabek’s thumb starts moving again, this time on his lower back. “You'll love it.” He leaves a kiss on the tip of Yuri’s nose.

It's a very comfortable position they're in. At least for him. The world could end and he wouldn't move away. His breaths become deeper, everything fades. It's like laying on a cloud.

 

* * *

 

 

Out of safety, he sends a text to the Traveler group chat letting them know where they are going and what time they should be back. It’s at the last possible moment, right when they are about to drive off so that no one else can tag along. Nikolai and Aynur meet them at the gates to give them some food and then they are gone.

They leave an hour before noon, it’ll take them about an hour to make it there. They’ll have four hours to do what they want and have fun before they need to make it back.

“Are you sure we can't camp there?”

“I’m sorry, Yuri. Maybe some other time, I need to return early today.”

“Fine.” Yuri looks out the window and stays silent the rest of the way. It's not like their lives revolve around each other, the dude has things to do, he gets it. It’s fine, totally fine.

They drive by the hill they climbed back when he still thought Otabek wanted him dead. It’s so stupid now, but at the time, it had been scary as fuck. They stop not far from there, leave the car nearby and walk to the lake. Otabek holds his hand again, properly this time, not like he was forced to grab a dead fish with his bare hands. He doesn't need to, it’s a sunny day, but he wants to and it's enough to make Yuri grin.

They settle on a blanket in front of the lake, under the shade of the tall trees. It's a lovely sight. The wind rustles the trees. He’s never been near such a large body of water. The sun reflects on the clear, sparkly surface.

Rubbing sunscreen on each other has to be one of the best parts the trip. They could've done so themselves, but where is the fun in that?

Otabek sits in front of him, his skin is smooth, warm and firm. He doesn't linger enough to make it uncomfortable, moving fast and trying to keep his mind in disgusting things. JJ makes the list several times.

Yuri moves to sit on the front, leaving his back in reach. The hands on his shoulders are strong and leave a path of fire as they move without hesitation. Thinking about  JJ stops working, so he adds Victor to the image and then Yakov. He gives up once Otabek starts rubbing his back. Yuri bites his lip. How shameful, he’s becoming a creep. Whatever happens, he can't let it show that he is enjoying this way too much.

His hands move away and Yuri lets out the breath he’d been holding. The warmth of the sun on his skin can’t compare with the heath consuming him from the inside. He should throw himself in the water before he spontaneously combusts.

“You want to eat right now?”

Yuri gets his breathing under control and turns to Otabek setting up the food on the blanket. He hurries to sit and help him.

There’s a lot of food in the basket. A mix of their favorites and some things he doesn't know the name of but are ridiculously delicious. Aynur’s food is even better in the current timeline, the variety of ingredients makes an amazing difference. Nikolai’s food is also decent. Why did he even make them food? Can't that old man wait to die so he can start haunting his head? He has nothing to do with this date but he's always butting in and ruining everything.

Warm knuckles caress his cheek, he looks up. Their eyes meet and the world stops. Neither one looks away. Otabek’s fingers trail to his lips, his thumb drags the bottom one down. Yuri's breath halts.

“Food.”

Yuri blinks twice. What?

“There was—" He clears his throat. “There was food on your face.” There is a small, almost imperceptible blush on his face.

“Yeah… I can be a pig when I eat.” The replacement for the zombie hamster Otabek just killed at the wheel doesn't arrive until they finish eating.

They lay back on the blanket and cover their eyes from the sun with an arm. They ate everything, now they must pay for it and suffer.

After ten minutes of nothing but singing birds and strong winds, Otabek taps him on the arm. “You wanna go for a swim?”

Oh, he would love to. First row seats to a wet Otabek swimming around sounds like a dream. Puking on a date is not something Yuri would survive right now though. “Can’t. Too full.”

“Hm, yeah,” he groans. Yuri moves his arm. Otabek sits, running his hand through his hair. “I think there's an old canoe around somewhere.”

“Really?” Cool, he’s never been in one. A day full of firsts is a good one, at least this time.

“Yakov proposed to Lilia there like fifty years ago.”

“How long have they been divorced?” One of the most unbelievable things in this world is that old man Yakov was married once during this time and that he had a son in another. That's two people that knew him and went, ‘yeah, I'd hit that’ and, why? How? Wondering about Yakov’s sex life is not what he pictured doing during this trip. Or ever.

“I don't know. They were already split when I met them and I’ve always been too scared to ask.” He laughs.

They find the canoe half hidden on the shore not long after and drag it to the water. The movements are a bit scary and take some getting used to. He dips his fingers in the water, it’s cool on his fingertips. It's not a dream. This is the life he gets to have, now and forever. Unless…

Yuri splashes water on Otabek’s face. It runs down his face and onto his naked torso. Fuck, he shouldn’t have done that. He’s only torturing himself at this point.

The trees, the lake, the animals, and the pure life of the surroundings will never fail to capture him. After losing all hope, it’s all here. It’s all true. He changed his life for the better.

“That’s a wide smile you have there.” Otabek splashes some water back into Yuri’s face. It gets into his mouth, he sputters. Gross. That fucking jerk. He covers his mouth to hide the smile but it does nothing to hide the satisfaction radiating from him.

That marks the start of the splash war that goes on until they are both soaking wet and almost tip the canoe over.

After they leave the canoe where they found it, they get in the water. They are already wet anyway.

“You're not coming deeper?” Otabek yells from a distance, where he swims on the deeper parts.

“I'll stick to the shallow parts until I learn how to swim.” Waist deep is enough for the moment.

Otabek swims back to him. “You never learned?”

“There are many things you people take for granted that I never had a chance to do in my world, okay?” He clenches his fists underwater.

“Remind me to bring you some floaties next time.”

How dare he? That comment wasn't even meant to humiliate him, he said it in such a sweet and caring way. That makes it so much worse, he is going down for that.

Yuri acts fast and catches him off guard by splashing his face and then jumping on him to drag him underwater. A bit too risky for someone that can’t swim but he holds himself up by holding on to Otabek. They wrestle and push each other to the shore, it's fun and a good excuse to get his hands on that glorious body at last.

When he falls and can’t stand up again due to the water pushing him down, Otabek has to pull him out to the surface. It only lasted a few seconds but he drank more lake water than he ever wanted.

Out of breath, and in Yuri's case, coughing, they drag themselves on all fours back to the blanket. There they wait for the sun and the wind to dry them. He better not get a bad sunburn out of this.

“We should leave soon, it's getting late.”

“Or we could stay,” Yuri whines.

“We don't have anywhere to sleep.”

“We could do it in the car.” What better way to spend the night than to lay on top of Otabek and breathe in his scent until he falls into the land of dreams.

Otabek sighs. “Some other time, Mila is waiting for me. We have plans.”

Oh, right. Can’t let dear, precious Mila wait. He must have made plans with the two of them to have an excuse. Wouldn't want Yuri to get the wrong idea and try to kiss him again.

  
  


Who even cares that they had to leave so early? That one of the only times they've been able to spend alone together gets cut so short? He certainly doesn't. He cares as much about it as Otabek does, which is not at all, as he didn’t even bother to try and make conversation on the way home. Just rode in silence, thinking about Mila and all their plans for tonight. How relieved he must be that Yuri didn't try anything.

Whatever, they can rot in hell for all he cares.

Once they leave the car at the garage, Yuri heads straight for Lilia’s without saying goodbye. Otabek runs after him and stops him by grabbing his hand.

“I’ll walk you home.”

“I can walk there by myself.” Yuri shakes him off.

He sighs, rubbing his temple. “Are you angry?”

“No, why would I be?”  _ It's not like you're ditching me after a date that wasn't one for you, for the friend that hates me and you lived with for months. Something that I should have seen coming but somehow managed to ignore and convince myself we had a chance. So fuck off and let me sulk in peace. _

“If you're not angry then I’ll walk you to Lilia’s. I have to talk to her too.” The bastard smiles and holds his hand again. He knows exactly what he is doing.

Yuri stares at their hands. “Don't you have things to do with Mila?”

“It can wait.” Otabek starts walking and pulls him along.

It’s a silent walk. When Yuri opens the front door, only the light from a nearby lamp illuminates the emptiness inside.

“She’s not here. Too bad. Bye.” He tries to close the door and leave Otabek outside.

He gets inside before the door slides closed. “I’ll wait inside then.”

What a sneaky bastard. The room falls to complete darkness as soon as the door closes. He should have turned on the lights first.

“SURPRISE!”

Yuri jumps back into Otabek, stepping over his feet and both almost fall. The lights turn back on. His heart about to burst from his chest, probably so it can beat the shit out of these idiots that gave him the scare of a lifetime. What the fuck? Did they accidentally walk into Lilia’s surprise party? Dumbasses, all of them. Can’t they distinguish their manly voices from that of an old woman’s? They didn't have to jump out yet.

Otabek pulls him into a hug. “Happy Birthday, Yuri. I kept being nervous you would catch on.” Before stepping away, he kisses Yuri's cheek.

Oh. It’s March 1rst, his birthday is today. It’s been so long since he last celebrated one.

Now that he looks closely, the guests are mostly his friends and Lilia is among them. They are few but so much more than his last one, which he spent alone and went by like any other day.

JJ and Kenjirou smile at him like he's not going to live through the teasing they have prepared for tonight. Victor, with a drink in his hand and a wide smile, stands by Chris and Katsudon, who took a break from the Phichit search to relax. A happy Sara, who dragged a sour Michele along, claps enthusiastically. Even Popovich, who he hasn't talked to in months, is there, enjoying his plate of food. Though she might not be the same one, Aynur being there brings an ache to his heart.

Lilia is at the side, with the other two council members. It’s her house, so it makes sense that she is there, to make sure they don't make a disaster. Though super old, Yakov is a Traveler and part of the group. But why the fuck is Nikolai there? Who thought it would be a good idea to invite him? The same goes for Mila, they might not be mortal enemies anymore but that doesn't make them friends. Can't she leave him alone on his birthday? Is she here to make sure he doesn't get too close to her Beka again?

And last but not least, the most important guest: Potya. She runs to him and Yuri picks her up. It's like she knows he needs an excuse to not hug anyone else. At least not until he can make sense of the wreck inside him.

  
  


Since it’s his birthday party, everyone should go out of their way to make sure he is having a good time, but it seems no one got the memo. Instead, they do the exact opposite, taking this as a good time to have conversations they couldn't before. They know that he can't escape and use it to their advantage.

“This is horrible, you've let it get out of control.” Lilia comes out of nowhere and grasps a strand of his hair like it just spat on her face and called her old. “Sit down. I'll fix it this once, you can't walk around your own birthday party looking like this.”

She has been decent so far, though they aren't very close and don't talk about much besides the garden, so why is she coming for him like that? It's not like he can say no when she looks like she enjoys eating people for breakfast.

He follows her to her room, it's tidy and spacious, and sits on the bed. She brushes his hair. It’s very tangled and pulls at his scalp painfully. If his hair ends up in one of the stern buns she loves so much he is moving out tonight.

Once she is done ripping off half of his hair, it becomes nicer. Her fingers work swiftly on his hair, her touch barely there.

“There, all done.” She pats him on the shoulder.

Yuri takes a look in the mirror. She made three braids and joined them in a ponytail. It's nice, he keeps quiet about it.

“You’ve been doing a lot of good work in the gardens. I have to say, I didn't take you for the type.”

Now _ that _ he won't keep quiet about. “Yurio wasn't good at it?” That’d be a first.

Lilia raises an eyebrow at the name. “That boy didn't do much besides training. Always training, completely obsessed with Traveling. I got him to come with me to the gardens once but the plant he was caring for died within the week. He gave up after that.”

Yuri laughs, for once he doesn’t have to live up to the standards set by Yurio. Why didn't he talk to Lilia sooner, she isn't so bad.

She smiles. “Being his coach was so frustrating by the end, as the Leap failures piled up he became angry and reckless.” Her smile falters. “Nothing was enough to hold him here, not even Otabek, and then we lost him.”

Well, it was only a matter of time until it came up. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no.” she walks to him, puts one hand on his shoulder and with the other lifts his chin. “We lost Yuri long before you came. We are happy to have you here.”

Okay, that makes little sense. If they lost him, why confuse them after the Ripple? He could ask but that would risk making Lilia turn on the waterworks and he is not prepared for that at all.

“Yuri!” Kenjirou calls. “Hurry up, we want cake.”

“We better go.” Lilia gives him one last pat on the shoulder and leaves. Now that he is alone in her room, he’s free to snoop. She was close with Yurio. There are several pictures of the two of them around. Ones from training, others more casual.

It leaves him with a knot in his throat that disappears almost instantly when he leaves the room. Everyone forms a semicircle around the table, with a large cake covered in candles on it.

They sing a song while he cuts the cake, then everyone grabs a slice and off they go again, to their little groups. Not long after, someone puts music and they start to dance. Lilia has the best moves, even better than Katsudon’s. Hopefully, she is better at keeping on her clothes too.

Kenjirou joins him on the people watching while he finishes his cake. “This is nice.”

Yuri glances at him quick before turning his attention back to the dancers. “Yeah.”

“Better than I ever would have imagined when I made that first Leap.”

“Hm, yep.”

“And I want to preserve it, no matter what.”

“Stating the obvious.”

“Even if that means leaving another Traveler stranded.”

“What?” Yuri stands, the plate that had been resting on his legs falling face down on the floor.

Kenjirou stares at him, fists clenched and fire in his eyes. “I’m voting no on the rescue mission and others are too. Just letting you know. We have a good thing here and we’re not willing to risk it.”

“What? So everyone just plans to abandon Georgi? He’s our friend! He could be getting hunted right now, or be in danger. He needs us!”

“If we leave him to whatever fate he already has we preserve this timeline, Yuri. If we proceed with the rescue mission and succeed there is no way of knowing what could change. We could destroy this timeline and our friends… our families.”

“You don't know that. And if we do fuck it all up, we can always try again. We have a time machine for that.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve talked with the others and they agree with me. I thought you would too.” He pointedly looks at Otabek.

Yuri’s stomach drops to his feet. This isn't fair at all. Why are they forcing him to choose? Everyone else has it cut so easy. Georgi is important to him, but so is this timeline and everyone in it. Telling him to give one up to keep the other… why can't he have both? Georgi worked for this future too, he deserves to enjoy the fruits of his labor like everyone else, instead of being hunted or forgotten for it.

Yuri leaves through the back door to Lilia’s personal garden. Kenjirou calls after him several times. The clear air will help him process it. He sits on the wooden stairs outside the door, buries his face in his palms and tries to muffle a shout.

“Hey, you okay?”

Ugh, it has to be the last person he wants to see right now. “What do you want?”

“We haven't talked in months, just trying to catch up with my friend.”

Yuri raises his head, Popovich sits beside him, smiling. Not what he expected.

“We don't have anything to talk about.”

“Come on, don't be that way.” He pinches Yuri’s cheek. “I heard everything, it's okay if that's what you were worried about.”

“You’re not angry I want the old Georgi back?”

“Nope, I understand. Can't say I wouldn't like him back too sometimes but there's nothing we can do. Between you and me, this sickness thing has me so overworked.” He lays back, pressing his eyes with his hand and groans. “We need more doctors and nurses. I can’t keep up with it alone.”

“It’s not that I don't like this timeline, or you. I just wish keeping it didn't mean having to leave a friend behind to a terrible fate.”

“I know, kid. It's fine. I'm not offended. I’m serious when I say I wouldn't mind vanishing from this world. After my beloved passed, I’ve found it hard to keep myself here. And now I can’t do my job and keep everyone safe.” Popovich sighs, looking at the stars. “That someone so loved and free of this would come and take my place, what a relief. The pain and stress would finally stop. I’d be free to join my love. But it can't be and I'm okay with that. Sacrifices need to be made for the greater good and as a Georgi, I can say he would understand, don’t feel bad about it.” He holds up a thumb.

“I guess I could think about it.”

“That's my friend.” He pats Yuri’s head. “Nice braid. Now, if you excuse me, I need to get more cake before JJ eats it all.”

Yuri stays outside, trying to come to terms with the fact that a lot of people gave up on this mission long before it started. Would they have done the same for him? If they did, would he be okay with that? With his life traded for others? Or is there someone out there not willing to live in a better world if it means not having him around? No one comes to mind at all. What does come to mind is one person, someone he doesn’t want to go into a better world without.

The realization almost shatters his soul. It’s a betrayal of everything and it's not letting him breathe. With a hand to his chest, he tries to get it under control, but the hyperventilation won't stop. Why did it come to this? When? What is he supposed to do now? How will he keep on going with this knowledge?

“Oh, Yuri, are you okay?” Mila jumps to the bottoms of the stairs and kneels before him. “Just breath okay, it’ll be okay.”

Try as he might, it’s impossible to ignore her when she is trying to help so bad. She doesn’t get the hint to leave, though it’s possible it got lost somewhere between his tears and trouble breathing. She puts some music on and tries to guide him through it until he has mostly calmed down.

“What are you doing here? Came to laugh?” Hopefully, she understood that. His voice hasn’t come back to normal yet. He lays back on the stairs, his hands to his chest. Tiredness takes over, it’s like he trained for a long time. She should leave and let him rest, here on the steps, where he can see the stars and maybe join them.

“You’re not joining the stars in the sky, Yuri, calm down.” She plants her butt next to his and lays back too. “I know we didn't get off to a good start, I thought we would be able to avoid each other. I wasn't friends with the other Yuri, but for Beka’s sake, I would like to be with you.”

Yuri doesn’t answer, the stars are bright and call to him. Off to a place where he can watch the world change without any stakes in it.

“I admit, I was too harsh when we met. And I’m sorry now that I broke your ribs. I mean, at the time I wasn't, but now I am.”

Yuri can’t hold it back in time and laughs. What an asshole. “What changed your mind?”

“Yuri was always hurting Beka.” She shrugs. “I thought you would be the same. That you would drag him in, finish the job that shithead started and I lost it. I want Beka to be happy and now I see that that might be by your side. Be warned, if you hurt him I’m breaking your pretty face.”

“Fair enough. Are you and Beka…” Yuri makes finger signs when his throat shuts down.

She snorts. “Don’t be silly. Beka only ever had eyes for Yuri.” She eyes him up and down. “This is so weird.”

“Tell me about it. I had to sit in Lilia’s room earlier listening to how they lost Yurio.” Curiosity is killing him, he can't play it cool any longer. “Did Yurio really get so bad? She said not even Otabek could keep him from being lost at the end. Before I Rippled here.”

“Oh boy, you asked the right person. No one else will say it like it is. Yes, he was  _ that _ bad, but only by the end. He was the worst.”

“Huh, only ever heard good things about him before today.” It really is a day of firsts.

“I’m biased in that I hated him. Already like you better.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She could have some good dirt to share.

“I heard your conversation earlier, with the blonde kid. If you’re planning on going on the mission then you better not try to move things with Beka past a friendship. If you’re not willing to give that up then that’ll just be taking the same path.” She frowns, her eyes shift from Yuri to the sky. “As a sign of good will on our new friendship, I’ll give you something.”

She’s not carrying a present. Her fingers fidget on her stomach.

“When you Rippled here, Beka had already broken up with Yuri.”

“What?” But, the memories. Why didn't he say anything? Was he ever planning to?

“Yuri’s actions hurt Beka a lot. He saw reason and dumped him, Yuri didn't and he went off the rails. Completely lost it and took Victor and JJ down with him. I’m not sure if I should be telling you this, but I feel like you need to know. No one talks about it but you need to hear it, so here it is. Yuri was so obsessed, he tried to force a Travel. Victor and JJ too, the machine rejected them and left them in a comma. Their bodies were completely wrecked. That’s why we risked everything to bring a doctor here. When I found you in the room, I thought he was at it again, only this time he broke it and doomed us all. But it wasn’t Yuri,  it was you and you were just done saving us.”

“Not really.”

“Just learn to take a fucking compliment.”

Yuri scoots away from her. She gives him a light punch on the stomach that leaves him breathless.

“Anyway, I thought you needed to know. You’re not responsible for what happened to them. Don’t feel so guilty. _ And don’t fuck it up with Beka.” _

This is so not where he expected the talk to go. Her personality did a 180 out of nowhere. “What’s up with you? You’re nothing like the person that almost stuck her hand through me.”

“Like I said, I thought you were different.” She sighs theatrically. “Fine, everyone knows already so I’ll tell you.” She winks at him, letting him know she’s going to tell him whether he wants to hear it or not. “I was under a lot of stress at the time. My asshole ex that died—you remember him?”

He nods, hard to forget. It’s one of the things about Otabek’s odd behavior that never got explained to him.

“Well, when Beka broke it off with Yuri, I offered him a place to stay. My boyfriend at the time, the ever-jealous jackass, thought I was cheating on him and threatened me with uploading all our—” She clears her throat—“intimate moments to share with random creeps.”

“Oh, shit.” So that’s why Otabek got so nervous to the point of exploding a closet. A bit offensive to be lumped with the likes of that dipshit.

“Yeah, I’m not glad he's dead but I do sleep better at night.” She glances up and straightens. “Gotta go, someone wants to talk with you.”

Ugh, not more people. Who is it now? They should let him finish processing what one person said before they pile more on him. At this rate, he’ll lose his mind come morning. What more will they share with him tonight?

It’s Nikolai, of course. Yuri is not as much of an ass to make him sit on the steps in his old age. He stands and walks inside, where its warm. They sit on the living room, close together to be able to talk over the music, though using it as an excuse to ignore him wouldn't have been so bad.

“What do you want, old man?” If Yurio was here now, he would be getting his tongue ripped and mouth sewn shut after talking to his grandpa like that.

Nikolai sighs, he looks older than last time they talked but still younger than his Grandpa.“Can’t we move past this? I’m your grandfather.”

“Maybe your senile dementia is kicking in, so let me remind you. You made it very clear that you were not my grandfather.”

“Please, Yuri, that was so long ago, let's talk.” His stupid eyes are so much like Grandpa’s, but he isn’t.

“For me, it wasn't, so I don't want to. Excuse me.” He stands and walks toward the bathroom but Victor stands in his way. The old men keep bothering him tonight. “Move.”

“Are you fixing things with your grandfather or are you going to keep being a whiny little baby sulking about something he said years ago and he deeply regrets? Stop being a horrible grandson and go talk to some of the only family you have left. People here love you. You're the one that gained the most without losing much and are being the bitchiest about it. You got your family back but if you keep this way, you'll end up as alone as you were before. So get your shit together and _ talk to him.” _

Viktor finishes his drunk rant, glass empty from splashing the contents everywhere and walks away leaving a speechless Yuri. Damn, it’s been a while since Victor got like that. Still shaken by the whole thing, he walks back to his spot beside Nikolai.

“You'll let me talk now?” Nikolai is amused, Yuri can only nod. “You’re right, it wasn’t that long ago for you. Please listen. Soon after you left, what I said started to weight on me. I gave it no importance, thinking next time you came we would fix things. You were always so loving and eager I thought it would be no work at all.”

Yuri’s chest hurts, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Everyone takes him for granted all the time. That’s why they ditch him and expect him back. Nikolai didn’t need to confirm it.

“I waited for you but you never came back. At first, I thought you were angry or had retired and would send a message with Georgi next time he was around. Sara and Michele were too intense and weird for me to deal with. But then, they also never made it back. I worried for you since then, it’s been in my conscience for years. I found that, while I still couldn't love you as a grandson, I cared for you a lot.”

This is it? All this show to tell him once again that he doesn’t think of him as a family member? He doesn’t need to keep repeating it, he got it the first time.

“It wasn't that something was wrong with you,” he says as if reading Yuri's mind. “It was all me. I was young back then, not even a father yet. I couldn't imagine what that love would be like, I wasn’t fit to give it. Please, put yourself in my shoes. A kid barely a few years younger appears one day calling you grandpa and expecting you to act like it. I'm not trying to blame you, I was scared and pulled away.”

Yuri keeps his head down, the tears on his cheeks must not be seen. Nikolai pulls him into a hug, his face to his chest. It’s a hug that makes him cry harder, one full of memories. He runs his fingers through his hair.

“Then I became a father and found that love only one can feel. It made me think of you constantly, worry about you. And then you were born. The most beautiful baby boy. I never told your mother about you before that, I didn't want to affect her future choices, but I recognized you from the start. I knew it as you grew, and I worried. When you turned fifteen but couldn't travel, I knew something was different. I didn't know it was this. I lost the grandson I raised like you lost the grandfather that raised you. But it gave me a chance to see you again. I love you. I don't know if you believe me but deep in your heart, you love me too. I respect that you want to live as a separate person. I thought the same about me and your grandfather once. But I can’t help but think of you as mine. I don't mean this as a replacement, I’m sure you never saw me as one. Let me be your Grandpa again. Let's start over, be a family.”

Yuri can't talk by the end of it, not even to correct him in all those ‘you’s. He is drowning in his own tears while he hugs N-Grandpa. It’s time to let go of that grudge. He nods, Grandpas arms tighten around him. How could he say no when he already did this with Mom and Otabek? What’s one more? It’s not what he wants yet, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get there in time, with a bit of effort.

“Come to live with me, I have spare rooms. Doesn't have to be his if you don't want it.”

Yuri keeps nodding. A weight finally lifts from his chest, after such a long time. The rejection from the past is no more. His heart mends itself back together a little bit. They can start over now. A new life.

Everyone leaves shortly after, they wish him a happy birthday again and give him a hug he doesn’t mind as much now. They cheer when he shares the news that he and Grandpa are ok and promise to help with the move. Yuri refuses, he owns few things, it will take no time.

Otabek hugs him again and whispers, “I’m glad you guys made up.” He kisses Yuri on the cheek again and leaves with his mom.

Mila gives him a friendly punch in the arm and a smile. Yuri smiles back.

Mom sends him many birthday messages. He sleeps with Grandpa that night, like when he was a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching the end so fast.  
> That hamster made it's last appearance so long ago, just one more appearance left.   
> <3


	14. Not the One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than usual end notes. I was updating tags and I am unsure if part of this might be sexual harassment or something similar, please read end notes and if you think so, let me know so I can add it to the tags. Also, a list of the people Yuri kisses.

It’s like going back in time, but without the horrible pain that comes with Leaping. Grandpa wakes him up with a delicious breakfast already served. They talk about their plans for the day, then go to Lilia’s to start the move.

The sun is warm. Not as in his native timeline where it tried to murder everything on earth’s surface, but in the nice ‘let's have a water gun fight’ way. That’s certainly something Kenjirou would enjoy.

Butterflies flutter past him towards the flowers along the edge of the house. Spring has come.

Lilia isn't home. He is still programmed on the lock so he packs everything quickly, shoving his clothes in without bothering to fold them. With Grandpa’s help, it only takes one trip to move it all to a spare bedroom in his house. Beka Bear rests between the pillows, marking it as Yuri’s new bed. As in Lilia’s house, this room is small with the bed taking up most of the space, only leaving enough for the drawer in front of it. Yurio’s was larger, moving there wouldn't have been good for anyone though. Who wants the burden of having to be reminded of him every second they spend inside?

The walk to the Donut is shorter than usual, walking with company really does make a difference. He waves and says good morning to everyone he runs into on the way, as does Grandpa. It’s hard to tell what is surprising people more, that he greets them or that they are finally on speaking terms. What a great day to be alive.

It doesn't take a genius to notice something is off once they enter the Donut. The crowd of workers and school children heading to start their day all have grim faces. Among them, two people stick out by being still. Kenjirou holds a crying Katsudon. He has never been a pretty cryer and is leaving a mess on Kenjirou’s sweater. It’s going to need a good wash to get rid of all the fluids it’s absorbing.

Yuri and Grandpa reach them at the same time as Victor. He carries a glass of juice with him and offers it to Katsudon.

“Victor, what happened?” Yuri directs it at him because there is no way he is interrupting the cry fest. His clothes can’t handle a crying piggy.

“Nikolai, we didn't inform you because we wanted you both to rest after last night. Phichit sent Yuuri message soon after we left. See for yourselves.” He takes out his phone and a few seconds later Yuri’s and Grandpa’s ping with a message. “Lilia and Yakov are already working it out.”

The video starts. Phichit’s face takes over most of the camera. He’s a bit too thin, disheveled, with unkempt hair, a light beard, and dark circles under his red eyes, but otherwise okay. It's shaky and goes in and out of focus for a few seconds. He appears to be sitting on a bathroom floor, with the toilet behind him. A shower runs in the background.

“Hey Yuuri, I managed to steal this and sneak out. I don't have long. I'm okay, still alive. I don't know where we are, it’s a sort of yacht in the open sea. Celestino is going out of his mind but hasn't hurt me yet. I'm scared he will at any moment. I don't know what his problem is...I don't want to die like this, Yuuri. I think he's scared of something ...someone. Keeps repeating we aren't safe, that we need to run and hide, that they will find us. I don't know if any of this is real, most of the time I doubt it. But he says we’re better off dead than caught. I've tried to convince him home is the safest place for us—I gotta go, he's coming.” After some muffled shouting, the video cuts off.

“Early this morning, Yuuri got a voice message. He did it, he convinced him and they are coming, we have been getting ready. We’ve made sure to keep it quiet.”

“What about the person that called to warn him Mila and I were on our way, did you ever find them?”

Nikolai shakes his head. “No, we conducted an investigation and found nothing. Celestino is probably safe from them but it is still too dangerous to keep him here. We have to arrange something else.”

Even if they only leave it in the group, there is a chance it was one of them, though Yuri’s learned his lesson and is not about to start pointing fingers without any proof.

“That's what Lilia and Yakov are working on. They were talking about a safe house.”

It's true that this is one of the safest places to be, even with the high levels of crime in the surrounding area and the people getting sick. If anyone is going to help Celestino, it's going to be them. If the wrong people get their hands on him, it could be a disaster.

Yuri hasn't had time to discuss what Kenjirou said last night with Grandpa or the other council members. It’s been so many months since the Ripple and there is no progress on the machine. They might not have done even a day of work on it if they decided from the start against a rescue mission. There is a strong chance that he’s been holding on to that hope all by himself, that the others understood straight away that things have to remain as they are. Last night's talk sure implied they have been talking about it behind his back. If so, it’s time they let him know.

There is something to their argument. The timeline is good enough. Rescuing Georgi could mean nothing because of the Resets, or it could cause another Ripple and make countless people fade out of existence. Georgi is important, but there are people in this world that also are. People he is not willing to give up, now or ever.

That whole week passes by in a rush. Fixing everything up for when Phichit shows up. Besides the council and traveler group, the only other resident they inform is Popovich. Someone needs to do a check up on the two of them, he is still the only doctor nearby. Not even Otabek knows.

 

* * *

 

 

The rush of that first week waiting for Phichit is left behind quickly. It’s obvious, once that week is over, that it would take time for them to get there from wherever in the open sea they were. Once it's all arranged, it takes them no time to get back to their usual lives.

Is Yuri a coward for still not talking to Grandpa about the rescue mission? Yes, he is. But when is it the right time to bring it up? When they're having breakfast together with Otabek? That happens daily now, every time he tries to bring up the issue, their eyes meet and Mila’s words repeat in his head. Time travel is a touchy subject.

Little Potya doesn't deserve to witness that discussion either. With her adorable purring and her fluffy little tail. This precious baby only deserves the best of the best. A life filled with love. Yuri holds her to his chest, cooing.

The muffled laughs around the table take him out of the bubble. Fuck, both of them saw that. His reputation is ruined.

Otabek at least has the decency to hide his smile behind his hand. Grandpa makes no attempt, leaving it in full display. They’re both trying to melt him with those eyes.

Yuri clears his throat and leaves her back on the floor. There, now they can forget that ever happened.

“She likes you.” Otabek’s smile might be hidden but it is audible as fuck.

“She has good taste then. I like her too.” Yuri puts both of his hands together on the table. If he pretends it’s no big deal they will stop mentioning it.

“You know, she wasn't originally my cat. Do you want her?”

“No. She wasn't meant to be mine, but maybe she can be ours one day.”  Otabek's eyes widen and a giant smile appears on Grandpa’s face. What? What did he s—Oh shit. “I didn't—sorry—I know you—I meant—Fuck.”

Grandpa’s laughter drowns out his pathetic words. Otabek blushes and looks away, meanwhile smoke is coming out of Yuri’s face. Why would he let that slip? They keep catching him distracted and making him say that crap.

A knock on the door finally draws the attention away from him. May good fortune fall on whoever is behind the door.

Grandpa goes to open it and comes back with Mila.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.” She sits between Otabek and Yuri, facing Grandpa. Threading her fingers through her wet hair does nothing to make it look better. Not that it would make any difference in her overall appearance with those rumpled, mismatched clothes she's wearing. Did she get dressed in the dark? Or did her sense of good taste die this morning?

“You’re early, dumbass. The invitation is for dinner.”

“Oh. So that’s why no one is here yet,” she says under her breath.

“Just get your food, you’re already here anyway.” She is lucky she is fun to be around or he would have kicked her out. “How could you get it wrong? We do it once a week.”

“Sorry, Beka and I stayed up all last night doing prosthetic maintenance. He mentioned breakfast here and my tired mind must have confused it with my invitation.”

“That explains it, and also why you look like shit today.”

Mila throws a baby carrot at him, it gets stuck in his flawless braid. This is just hair jealousy at its worst.

  
  


Mila shows up again for dinner night, on time with the rest of the guests.

It’s a fun evening, and it’s not just because everyone has been complimenting Yuri’s cooking. They drink, play board games, try to kill each other over said board games and relax with a drink in the living room. It’s a perfect night.

“I’m so happy.” Kenjirou giggles, he's that type of drunk. “I love you all so much. You too, Victor, even if you tried to take my brother.” He throws himself on Victor and hugs him. “You’re my brother now too. My much older, balding brother.” He kisses his thinning hairline.

Katsudon’s reassurances to his balding boyfriend are lost under everyone’s laughter.

“When I agreed to that Travel, I didn't imagine I would come back to a world like this. Sure, it's not ideal but who would have thought we'd get here by stopping—”

“AHEM.” Grandpa gives the loudest fake cough in history.

“....right, you're right… right. By stopping one man from dying. Isn't it funny, Yuri, how one person can make such a big difference?”

Okay, this took an unexpected turn.

“We should build you a statue.” JJ waves his glass without splashing a drop. “Kenjirou, Savior of the World.”

“I don't need a statue, all I need is that we preserve this world, Yuri.”

This is ridiculous. “Why do you keep saying my name?”

“Oh, I don't know. Why do you want to risk our world, Yuri? Is it not enough for you? Are WE not enough for you,  _ Yuri?” _

Everyone falls silent. Their eyes shift between Yuri, sitting on the floor, to Kenjirou, still on Victor’s lap. Only Otabek keeps his eyes away, on the rim of his glass.

“That’s enough, you can shut up or go home. We’re not discussing this now.” Yuri’s hold on his glass tightens. Better to hurt his hand than to throw it at a wall and miss.

“Why not? I think it's a good time. Everyone has been trying for months but no one dares to do it. You can stop training now, Yuri, the program is canceled. We saved this world and we are keeping it. Tell him, guys.”

Their looks give it all away, only five people in the room didn't know about this. The ‘outsiders.' Otabek, Mila, Katsudon, Michele, and Guang Hong all have faces ranging from surprise to confusion to nothing at all. The rest of them are too drunk to hide their guilt.

It’s JJ that breaks the silence. “Sorry, Kitten. I miss Georgi too, and I understand that you don't want to leave him behind but look at all I’ve lost. I don't want this to happen to any of you.”

Yuri nods, his throat throbbing. All his words die before they can be spoken. He has to take a few deep breaths to be ready to speak again. “So we are not even going to try to understand what happened? Or rescue one of our own. We’re not going to explore our options.”

Guang Hong tries to keep his coughing fit in the low. No one pays him any real attention.

“Yuri.” Victor’s voice is full of resignation and pity. “There are no other options.”

“There have to be! We can't give up, we can...we can…” He can't do anything if everyone else has already given up.

So this is how it’s going to be. Yuri stands, all of them have their eyes on him while Guang Hong almost dies beside them. Seems they like to do that. Without giving them a last look, he locks himself in his room for the next two days.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri rejoins the world refreshed after his two days of self-isolation. He can't blame them. If the moment to choose came, he would do the same. If it was between Otabek, Grandpa, Mom, and all his friends and Georgi, then he could give him up.

But now he has a solution to it all. Sure, it will require a lot of research. It’ll be very hard and a difficult life awaits him… or not, but it’s something that will benefit everyone. It’s not like difficulties ever stopped him before, they’re not going to start now. Not when he has a perfect, beautiful solution for them all. It’s almost shameful that it took him this long to figure it out.

Now all that's left to do is enjoy his last days on this timeline. Which he could do if Otabek wasn't avoiding him again.

It takes him more than usual to notice. They don't see each other often enough for the lack of contact to be odd during the weekdays ever since the new rules. The lack of texting is what gives it away, and so on Friday night, he puts the plan in motion.

It’s nothing like his other plans, this one is much more straightforward. All the preparation it needs is to do some packing. His pajamas are enough. Yuri won't be needing a blanket and it’s too early in their relationship to bring Beka Bear with him. He can’t know how important that bear is to him.

He waits until the doors are about to close to knock on Otabek’s door. Now he won't be able to send him home with a clear conscience. Is it a bad return to early bad habits? Somewhat, but there is a friendship at risk here, if anything is worth it then it's this.

If Otabek is surprised to see Yuri with his bag at his door, he isn't showing it. There are no cracks on his poker face.

“Hey.” Yuri walks in without an invitation. “We haven't seen much of each other lately, so I thought we could have a sleepover.”

There are zero protests to his suggestion, though it isn't met with cheers either. What should be met with cheers is the fact that Otabek sleeps shirtless. He must have been about to get in bed. Timing so perfect he sheds a metaphorical tear.

They try to play some video games, but they are getting too old to pull all-nighters doing just that. They keep staring off into space for minutes at a time. It doesn't make for good gameplay. The heavy silence is also not ideal.

“So, busy week?” It’s a shitty attempt at conversation but it will have to do.

“Yeah, a bit.”

“Same, that's why I couldn't see you. The days are so much longer when I don't.”

“Maybe you should be getting used to it.”

The words are a knife on Yuri’s heart. He is being so cold, with his monotonous voice and lack of interest. Is it a sign that he was right after all? That he is the correct one to sacrifice here and not Georgi.

“I know.” He takes off the collar to and starts to remove the teddy bears from the bed. Tiger gets a special spot on the bedside table. Will it remain after he’s gone? Or will it Ripple out of existence?

They get the bed ready together. Otabek avoids looking at him or Tiger directly. Yuri sighs. He sets his pajamas on the mattress and takes his clothes off. Unlike that first day, there is a cold lack of eyes on him while he changes. Otabek concentrates on getting under the covers and waiting with his hand on the lamp for Yuri to do the same.

The lights turn off as soon as he sits in the bed. Though they’ve slept together before, there is something different about this. There is a lot less space than when he slept over at Yuri’s during his birthday. The pit in his stomach keeps him awake. Otabek is too stiff, his breathing not relaxed enough to be sleeping, but he makes no effort to talk with Yuri.

The time has come, there is no chickening out now. He didn't come all this way into the ice bed to back down and head home with nothing come morning. Shaking away the temptation to take the safe route and pretend to be asleep takes a few minutes. Yuri pulls the covers to his face, they have protected him from the monsters all his life, they will protect him from the pain now.

All his preparation is for nothing, Otabek is the one to break the silence. “Are you planning to go back for Georgi?”

So that's what's been bothering him. Not something silly that they can fix instantly, but a complicated, shared fear. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Even if it means destroying this world?”

“We can’t know if that will happen. It’s much more difficult to change time than we first thought. For all we know, it’ll just Reset before it reaches this year and everything will be the same.”

“And what if it doesn't? What will happen to everyone here?”

“Nothing, if I have any say about it.”

“What does that mean?”

Yuri lowers the covers again, he rests his arms on his chest over them. “I’ve been thinking about it. Georgi and I are both Travelers, trained to do the same work. There is nothing he can do that I can't. There is no reason for it to have to be him. If he is only being hunted then more reason for him to be replaceable. Our roles are similar enough that we can change places. It will make time Reset instead of Reverse. This world doesn't have to disappear. If we're lucky, I can send him back early enough that he makes it here and I don't. Like a minor Ripple, enough for no one here to miss me, or meet me. It’s a win-win, Georgi gets rescued, you and Grandpa get your Yura back, and the world remains safe.”

It's a genius plan so he gives Otabek a few seconds to process it.

“Huh, so that's it then. Everyone is replaceable. We all live happily ever after.” His movements shake the entire bed. “That’s a shit plan, Yuri.”

“No, it isn't.” The plan just has a few kinks that need to be worked out. He holds himself up on his arm, facing Otabek, only the dark shape of his head visible in front of him.

“Yes, it is. How are you going to do this? You don't know anything about what happened! Or if it would stay the same. Why not leave it as it is?”

“I can't do that. I tried. I wanted to retire but my bracelet doesn't come off unless I'm dead.” Yuri pulls at it. “So it brought me here. It won't let me rest and disappear. I am a Traveler, it’s who I’ve always been and who I will always be. I can't sit on my ass while my friend is lost and hunted across time.”

“You’re not the only Traveler,” he says softly.

“I might as well be. Victor and Kenjirou are not going to leave Katsudon. Same with Sarah and Michele, besides we don't know if Sara can make it back to the right time. As for JJ...  imagine _ that. _ I’d end up shifting into a world with his face plastered everywhere, his stupid song as an anthem and people using ‘JJ style’ as a greeting.” What a nightmare, he’ll have to scrub his mind with bleach.

Otabek falls back into the bed and turns to give him his back. “You’re right. You and Yura can replace each other perfectly. Right now I can't tell the difference.”

Low blow.

“You don't mean that.” He was just arguing the opposite point but getting confirmation is worse than a hand through his ribs. Though it has near the same effect on his breathing.

“If you could choose, if it didn't have to be you, if Georgi was safe, would you want to? Would you still be a Traveler?”

“Not really. Like I said, Victor and I had chosen to retire by the time the Ripple caught us. We made it here because we couldn't take it off. If we could maybe you would still have your Yura.” The throat pain gets stronger the more he talks.

“I don't care about that. Of course, I would like Yura back, but not if you’re not here. People might be interchangeable for you, but they aren't for me.”

No one knows that better than Yuri. He puts a hand on Otabek’s arm, over the blankets. What can he say? Georgi is his friend, he can't abandon him, like he wouldn't abandon them. “Once I go, no one will remember me, not even you. Georgi has a chance for a better life here than I do. Even Popovich thinks so.” There is nothing here for him. What awaits if he stays? Pining away for some boy that will always be in love with his counterpart? Family members that only love him because they are technically related? This way he doesn't have to be a replacement, he can fix whatever went wrong with the original. “I know you and Yura broke up, that he was obsessed, but I can change that. I can plant enough seeds to not make him so, it doesn't have to be what it was. I can fix it for you, make you happy. You can be together like you were always meant to be.”

“I don't want—I don't want us to keep going with whatever this is if you are going to leave again. I’ll forget you soon enough anyway, so why even bother.”

“What do you mean?” This plan isn't going smoothly at all.

“If they approve of this and you have to Travel, it’s over. And I don't think I can be your friend until then. I would rather we stop this now.”

“That's not fair.” Yuri sits on the bed. Most of the blankets go with him to pool at his waist. Otabek doesn’t bother to fight for them.

“What’s not fair is that you expect me to keep being your friend when you’re going to leave and erase my memory of you without giving me a say in it. I’m sorry for Georgi, I’m sure he's great if you're willing to do this for him but I don't give a fuck.”

“Are you asking me to choose?” He is giving his life, is a few days together too much to ask?

“No, it sounds like you already did.”

Yuri lays back on the bed, his fingers hover near Otabek’s uncovered back, not daring to touch. “What would you have me do?”

There is no answer, it's possible he said it so low his question wasn't heard.

To go on happily with his life is not something he can do if he knows someone else is in danger. When that person is someone that was so important during his childhood it becomes harder.

“Georgi used to tell me bedtime stories. He was there when my mom left and Grandpa died. When everyone was so focused on their own life, Georgi always made sure to make time for me. He’s like a brother, I can't abandon him. Please don't ask me to do that.”

Again, there is no response, no movements from the other side of the bed. This isn't at all how it was supposed to go. It was meant to make Otabek happy. He will have everything he ever wanted and he won't be aware he had to give something up for it. The night shouldn't end like this. According to the plan, they should be having great celebratory goodbye sex by now, which would carry on for a month or so until his departure. How did it all go wrong?

All this trouble just to fuck up and end up fighting. Plus, the lack of support for his plan puts a dent in it. If it’s this hard to convince Otabek, who has so much to win, then convincing the others will be way harder.

Friends shouldn’t go to sleep angry. But fixing a relationship is so hard when you don't know where you went wrong. Stupid inexperience with friendships fucking up his life again.

Otabek goes back to lying on his back, it’s the first time he's moved since their fight ended. Neither one pretends to sleep. If he is in a similar state to Yuri’s then the headache and tense shoulders don’t let him.

Otabek’s hand finds Yuri’s arm under the blanket, he moves it all the way to his hand. Their fingers intertwine. Warmth travels up and straight into his heart, making it beat faster.

A weigh is immediately lifted from his chest, he can breathe better. It’s still no good for his sleep though. The hand in his keeps him from floating off to the land of dreams, it anchors him to the cold bed.

His body is so warm, it calls him back home. But it’s not his home, he has no right to call it that. It’s someone else's. Those arms are not meant for him, that was made clear several times. Yuri is only allowed in them because he is close enough. If he dares to ask for more right now, it’ll be taken from him. He will be rejected and sent to the floor, where he will be cold and alone as he deserves. Like he was always meant to be.

He does it anyway. Scoots close enough for their bodies to almost touch. He’s going to Hell anyway, might as well enjoy getting there.

Instead of being rejected, Yuri is pulled closer until he covers almost half of Otabek’s body with his own. His head rests on his chest along with his left hand. This is so much better than anything he could have asked for. With a content sigh, he draws patterns on his skin, until he accidentally touches a nipple. His hand spasms, which might have scratched him, no way to know until morning. Yuri tucks his hand under his chin, better keep that away before he gets asked to stop and move away.

Once he relaxes, it’s easier to notice their hearts beating in time. It encourages him to move his arm and wrap it around Otabek’s waist, his hand close to the waistband of his pajama pants. Everything about this deserves to be committed to memory. It will keep him going on the lonely nights when he needs a friend in the past.

His hand starts going up and down Yuri’s back slowly. From the nape of his neck all the way to his lower back. It’s nice and soothing at first but soon starts disrupting his sleep. The areas he touches become more aware, with a light tingling that turns into a path of fire.

The heat moves to other parts of his body, his face no doubt so red that it illuminates the entire room. He breathes deeply to clear his head, it backfires, clogging up his senses more.

His nails trailing on his side aren't making it easier either. Yuri shivers and shifts position, burying his face on Otabek’s neck. The hand rubbing his back finally stops, settling on his lower back, the other moves to his hair.

This is no good, his breathing is altering and he needs to stop it now. He doesn't, preferring instead to run his fingers up Otabek’s chest, neck, and jaw that he longs to kiss until he reaches the lips. They get sucked, his breath hitches. A small moan escapes him when he rubs himself on Otabek's leg.

Next thing he knows, he lays on his back. His left hand held next to his head with thick fingers that fit perfectly with his slender ones. There is a hot breath under his ear and a leg between his.

_ He breathes on his ear. “Yura…” _

_ When he says his name, Otabek freezes and steps away with eyes wide open, shaking his head. _

_ “I-I was wrong. Sorry. Mila was right, we can't be friends. This isn't right. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.” _

No. No, he can't think of that right now. Yuri bites his lip, he can’t make the same mistake. The damage that would make now would be irreparable. His eyes squeeze shut and his entire body tenses.

A name gets called, it’s impossible not to hear it no matter how much he tries. It changes everything. A simple ‘Yuri’ has his heart flooding with relief and something else. Something more beautiful that he has ever felt. His entire body is aflame. Yuri's back curves, he presses himself to Otabek's in an attempt to get so close their bodies become one. It's what he needs right now, more than breathing, more than anything.

His teeth grasp softly at his earlobe before he moves to his neck. He sighs, the hand holding his leaves to go under his sweater. Yuri moves his own hand up Otabek's arm to his back where it joins the other.

He is whispering something into his ear, but his brain is not working enough to make out what it is. The hamster caught fire at the wheel a while ago. He moves his face so that their lips are close, so very close. When Otabek talks, their lips brush lightly. If only he could be closer, press harder.

A hand caresses his face, it’s loving and strong but it keeps him from following when Otabek lifts away. He is still talking, what is he saying?

“—op.”

“What?”

“Yuri we need to stop. We agreed we wouldn't.”

“You said no kissing, we haven't kissed.”

It’s too dark to see but Otabek is giving him a look.

“Okay, okay.” He makes no effort to move.

“Yuri.” He is out of breath, yet stern and demanding.

“What? You’re the one that's on top. You move.”

“You planning on letting go of my ass soon then?”

Ah, shit, when did his hands get there? They shouldn't be there. None of this should have happened. But it keeps happening because he is a terrible friend that can't respect their agreement.

“Honk honk.” Yuri squeezes his butt twice before letting go. That was so stupid. Is it too late to leave? The doors might be closed but jumping out the window is always an option. No, too drastic, sleeping in the tub it is. But what if it's wet? He opts for covering his face with a pillow, that way he can also get protection in case he's about to get punched.

At least it wasn't some stupid cat pun this time.

Otabek doesn’t get angry, calls him a loser or yells. He just laughs until he collapses on top of him again. It's a beautiful sound. Doesn't help him feel any less stupid, but it's effective in killing the mood.

  
  


After the laughter dies down, they settle on their separate sides of the bed. They still end up close to each other during the night, the search for warmth leads them to each other. Yuri only wakes once, when he hits something with his hand. It turns to be Otabek’s head, he doesn't wake and the rest of the night goes in peaceful sleep.

When Yuri opens his eyes in the morning, Otabek's face lays close beside him. Sleep still hangs around him, he must have woken up right before Yuri. They share a smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey. We need to talk about last night.”

The smile slips off Yuri’s face. Straight at it first thing in the morning then. Do they have to have this conversation every time something happens? It's not like it's been changing anything. What happened last night isn't allowed by the terms of their new friendship. No need to rub it in. Unless his feelings have changed and this isn’t a one-sided fight. “Don't worry about that. It changes nothing, our agreement stands.”

Otabek relaxes. “Thanks.”

Yuri's heart drops. It was foolish to hope, even for a second. He blinks the tears away. “I promised Grandpa I'd join him early for breakfast.” Yuri gets out of bed as fast as he can and starts changing out of his pajamas. He stops halfway, leaving the top. No one will mind if he runs home like this.

“I’ll walk you—"

He shoves his pants into his bag, puts on his shoes, and heads to the door. “That's not necessary, see you around.”

Otabek doesn't make a move to stop him, which is good but also not. It’s not like he expected a love confession after being dipped into an amazing kiss, but a bit more insistence would have been nice. The way to Grandpa’s house is a blur of uneven ground.

“I wasn't expecting you so early, how was your night?” Grandpa asks as he dusts the living room.

Yuri heads straight for his room, then goes out to hug Grandpa and back in without answering.

That was so dumb. Why does he go around doing these things? He needs to talk to someone about it, one of his friends could help shed some light on this. Help him figure out just what happened last night and why. But it's so embarrassing. It has to be someone that won't judge or laugh at him. He has an image to protect, but it also can’t be anyone that met Yurio. That limits his options.

Not that people didn't already know too much about his love life. It seems to be the past time of the residents to know how it turns out. That the two Yuri’s liked Otabek is a well-known fact but does Otabek like the two Yuri’s? That remains to be seen, and boy does everyone make an effort to see. It's a miracle they haven’t bugged their rooms yet.

Gathering what's left of his courage, Yuri runs out of the house and almost crashes into Grandpa while he tends to the garden.

“Aren't you staying for breakfast?”

“Sorry, Grandpa, told the guys I'd eat with them.”

“You're still wearing your pajamas.”

Yuri waves him off. Everyone is used to his animal print already, no one will be offended by his pajama hoodie with cat ears.

Once he gets to the cafeteria, it hits him. He hasn't talked to any of his friends since that dinner, none of them are here. They must have had a sleepover without him and are still sleeping. Yuri sits with a groan at an empty table and pulls his hood on to covers his messy, sweaty hair.

The lack of sleep of the past few days is starting to take a toll on him. He rests his chin on one hand before he stops being able to hold it up and it bangs on the table. With his other, he takes his phone and opens the group chat. There are no new messages. Do they not use it or do they have one without him?

Yuri’s finger hovers over the keypad. What will they say to him? They want him away from Otabek, they’ve made that clear, but is that enough to let him go to the past and stay? Or will they try to refuse him both? Keeping him here with someone that doesn't know what they want of him.

“Yuri, how cute.” Popovich pats his head and sits in front of him. “It’s been a while.”

Oh, of course, Popovich. If he is anything like Georgi he won't laugh at his romantic problems, but be very into them. Who knows, he could even offer some useful advice. Better than whatever perverted suggestions Victor and Chris would.

“I don't know if to be happy or sad I haven't seen much of you. On one hand, you’ve abandoned me. On the other, you're taking care of your health now, I can't resent you. I've missed catching up with you.” He takes a bite of his toast. “Tell me, what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much, Grandpa and I get along well. Mila is actually pretty cool. I slept over at Otabek’s last night…” Yuri pulls at a strand of his hair.

“Ah, things are going well between the two of you. Can't complain about your abandonment then, young lovers do need their alone time. When my love still lived, I liked to spend my every waking moment with her too.”

“About that, I wanted to ask some advice.” Yuri covers the lower half of his face discreetly. People on other tables are looking his way, no way they are getting any info from lip readings.

“Of course, you can tell me anything. That's what friends are for.”

Yuri catches him up on all the details of their new agreement and their argument about Traveling. It takes so long he eats half of Popovich’s food. “I just don't understand why he was so upset. I mean, later we did… all that, so I can't be that repulsive. But he says we’re not interchangeable, that he likes me too but when he does things like that I feel like I'm not enough. That I won't ever be enough. I still want him to be happy, and if I can bring Yurio back, un-obsessed, then this will be solved. But he got so angry that I suggested it. I don't get it, what is he playing at?” He bangs both his palms on the table.

Georgi stares at his tea in silence, running his finger along the rim of the cup.

“Speaking of the plan, you don't mind disappearing, do you?”

“Oh, no. You know that it would be a relief for me right now. I’m being worked to death. If anything, I’m a bit scared for my patients but if you say it can Ripple maybe there will be another doctor around. Hopefully, he’ll be a better one. My stay here has been a failure, I can’t help anyone. You have my full support if this is what you choose.” He takes a sip, not breaking eye contact with Yuri.

“Thanks, man. It’s hard to find support these days.”

“But you’ve come to the right place for your love problems. See, here's what I think is happening. That guy is scared to head right into it, and that’s okay. Love is a complicated thing as it is, and it's been made worse with this situation. About yesterday, it might seem like you were putting conditions, giving an ultimatum. You date me or I leave.”

“That’s not—”

“I know. But to him, it could have been that. There is also the fact you could be confused. Otabek is one of your closest friends, the first outside that inner coworker circle of yours. He was also your first kiss, and you’re aware of his relationship with the other you. There is a possibility that you don't actually like him, that a combination of all those things confused you. He might be trying to tell if it's real or not.” Georgi puts away his tea to hold his hands. “I think you should try seeing other people. See how they make you feel, kiss a few, compare. Maybe it's not as special as you think it is. Then, if you find it wasn't, move on or go to the past. You could find someone much less complicated out there. And if it was, well then confess your undying true love. He’ll be more likely to accept it then, I think. If you still feel like he's playing you afterward then just dump the shithead.”

Go out with other people, kiss them. Disgusting. He’d rather burn his tongue off than kiss a stranger. Popovich does make a bit of sense though. Since the moment he Rippled here his life has revolved around Otabek in one way or another.

No one calls his attention the way he does. It also never happened before him. Back in his old timeline, his focus was always on training and work. The other people his age were the annoying Leroys and Isabella. Not even in his worst nightmares did he ever want to kiss them and he would rather do them than a stranger.

Who should he try it with? It has to be someone close. A friend. One around his own age. His options are few. At least he can cross Sara and Michele from the list. He isn't stupid enough to try and get between whatever creepy thing they have going on.

What if the way Otabek makes him feel is common among friends? What if his feelings aren't real? That they’re there because he is? He could have been anyone and Yuri would have liked him all the same, because he's inexperienced. It doesn't change the fact that he must rescue Georgi, but it does how he approaches life from now on.

A man collapses on top of one of the single tables and brings it down. People scream and some run to check on him. With a sigh, Popovich drinks the rest of his coffee and goes to the man.

Yuri leaves. Through the crystal walls, he keeps an eye on them for as long as he can.

He really is one of the only reliable persons on both timelines. Must be one of those constants. Like drunk Katsudon stripping and the Crispino’s weird sibling relationship.

The training area is empty. It has been the last couple of times Yuri exercised there. Such a big hint, it shouldn't have been possible to miss it. All the drama with Otabek and Phichit really distracted him.

After finishing his routine, Yuri lays in the fresh grass. Though the sun shines, the day is cold. Writing a message to his friends takes half an hour and three rewrites. There’s going to be some heavy drinking involved tonight.

  
  


Most of Yuri’s friends agree to meet him at the common area that night. It’s a Saturday so there is a lot of people, music, and food. Victor brings Chris along, though he alternates between them and his own group of friends.

Kenjirou, Victor, and Katsudon sit on one side of the table with Chris, JJ, and Yuri facing them. The music—not by Otabek—is so loud they have to lean and yell to talk to each other. His voice is going to be destroyed for the next week.

Yuri turns the glass in his hand. The reason he hasn't asked yet is not cowardice. Yuri isn't a coward or shy. The moment just hasn't come yet. There is no need to hurry, the night is still young. All that's left is to decide who will be the chosen one.

JJ could try putting his disgusting mouth to good use for once. Even if Kenjirou is older, it's like taking advantage of him. Chris is experienced and scary, that could go either way. Katsudon would die of embarrassment if he asked, and Yuri would soon follow. As for Victor, he'd never live it down. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Chris’s friends could be of help.

Yuri glances at the men and women dancing nearby. Nope, no interest in that. Get it together, Plisetsky. Just do it, ask like it’s nothing and it will be nothing.

“You okay there, Kitten?” JJ pokes him on the side of the head.

“I need you to kiss me,” Yuri blurts out.

Their heads don't explode or anything. They stare at him and then lean forward. There are yells of “what?” and “speak louder.”

A second chance! One to pretend this didn't happen and escape with his dignity intact… No. This isn't the time to back down. If he does then he'll never know the truth. Is it because of that kiss and the relationship with his other self? Nothing else? Not going through with it will only confirm he's scared because his feelings are weak. His suffering will be prolonged for no reason.

This is the moment of truth. The one that will determine if he can be uncomplicated friends with Otabek or if this was doomed from the start.

If it's true, Yuri just needs to redirect his needs to a different person, then he can get help from his friends. Find someone that doesn't mind his Traveling, that enjoys him while he's here and won't resent his Leaps; that doesn't have a history with another version of him.

Yuri keeps his eyes on the glass he still turns. “I said, that I need you to kiss me.”

The silence is long. Katsudon’s eyes bug out, he and Kenjirou are completely red. Chris and Victor burst out laughing at the same time.

“Me?” JJ points at himself.

“Any of you, I don't care who.”

Katsudon takes his hand. “Yuri, what is going on?”

“Just… please.” Why do they have to make a big deal out of it? Both of Katsudon’s hands cover his’ on his glass. He is not being judged.

There’s a tap on his shoulder, Chris walked around the table while his eyes were down. He lifts Yuri’s chin and winks.

Oh dear, why does it have to be the most experienced one? His hands stay steady thanks to Katsudon. When he lets them go, he has to put the glass down so that he doesn’t splash the contents everywhere.

“I've been waiting for the moment. Otabek and Yuri started dating so young, none of us ever got the chance. Permission to get handsy? I want to give the full experience.”

Yuri stands. Deeps breaths, keep calm. He can handle that. “Permission granted.” The truth is finally within reach, so grab it.

Everyone on the table cheers when Chris pulls him into a dip and kisses him. He shoves his tongue in Yuri’s mouth. It’s rough, almost like he's trying to suck his soul through it. Not only is it long, but he also hasn't stopped groping his ass.

Yuri hits him on the shoulder, trying to push him away before he is consumed. Chris gets the hint and lets him go once his feet are firm on the ground.

Okay, wow. That was somehow unexpected but also the only way it could have gone. Nothing at all like kissing Otabek the first time. Yuri blinks several times and rubs his mouth.

“Well, you better prepare to have your world changed. No one is ever the same after a kiss from King JJ.” He stands in front of Yuri, rubbing his hands together. He holds his face with both his hands. His approach is slow as if giving him time to change his mind. Yuri doesn't.

The kiss is nothing at all like Chris’s. JJ has the decency to not grope him, for one. There is also a lack of tongue, not much aside from a brush or two. It is also considerably shorter, and even kind of sweet. Nice. Nothing more, nothing less, just nice. It doesn't short circuit his brain or manages to stop time.

There’s no need to tap him, Yuri is free to move away.

Is the bar too high? Are his expectations unrealistic?

Kenjirou stands in front of him next, fidgeting and with his face matching the colored strand on his hair. “It’s my f-first kiss.”

Yuri nods and takes the initiative this time. He rests his hands on his shoulders and when their lips are about to touch Kenjirou laughs and pulls away. “Sorry. Let’s try again.”

They do and he does the same. He keeps covering his red face with his hands. Kenjirou takes a deep breath and faces Yuri again. “I’m ready now, this time for real.”

Yuri holds his face this time and closes his eyes. The strong eye contact might be what ruined the other ones. They go for a sweet and short one, a little peck not unlike his own first. Though Yuri just kissed two of his friends, this one is different. His face is warmer and Kenjirou’s fidgeting seems to be contagious. Being someone's first kiss is odd.

Three kisses in and none can compare.

Yuri barely sets his eyes on Katsudon when Victor yells, “That's enough for you.”

“Do you want another kiss… JJ Style!”

“I‘D RATHER EAT SHIT!” Yuri yells for everyone to hear as the music stops between songs.

Great, now everyone stares at him.

Yuri sits back down. Being near the people he kissed is no different than half an hour ago. Other than knowing what they taste like.

This means it's true love, right? His feelings for Otabek are real. Or as real as he’s ever felt. These are the people closest to him, if he was going to feel something over anyone, it would be them.

In another time, this would be a moment of joy instead of sucking ass. It’s real. The way his body reacts, how he brightens the worst of days. The crushing reality of always being second best, of being so obviously not wanted.

The rescue mission is a must now. He can't stay here. As long as Otabek is near his feelings won't go away. Otherwise, Yuri will stay by his side forever, waiting for that moment that might never come. Settling for scraps is not the Plisetsky way. More than that might not ever be on the table.

The other Travelers have to let him do this before he falls too deep and conforms.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri doesn't ask that night. Or the next.

Things get a bit strange the following days. Not with the ones he kissed, it doesn't affect them much, but with Otabek. Though at the time it didn't seem so, he really did fuck up during the sleepover.

It’s back to the good old days of getting avoided. Of being told “I’m tired” or given the cold shoulder. Only this time Yuri is not the only one. Otabek is withdrawing from everyone. It  _ could _ be an unrelated issue, but the pain in his eyes when they meet Yuri’s for a fraction of a second says otherwise.

He was so relieved in their quick morning talk the day after. What changed?

Even unobservant idiots comment on it. Like JJ, who claims to get cold, intense glares.

“That’s how he always looks, dumbass. His face is like that.”

“No, I tell you it’s different this time,” JJ whines.

Yuri rolls his eyes.

Guang Hong’s laughter turns into a coughing fit. One of the nurses comes quick and Yuri, JJ, and Kenjirou get kicked out of the room. They sit in the hospital hall, waiting. It’s full of other people visiting their loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was really embarrassing. Next couple of chapters are short.  
>  Yuri kisses three people in this order: Chris, JJ, and Kenjirou. I promise I make it plot relevant in the most cliched way possible. Yuri also gets groped with permission by Chris, but butt honks Otabek without permission in panic and heat of the moment.  
> The destruction of the mental hamster is complete. If you feel a tag is missing and don’t want to leave a comment, you can leave an anon on my [ Tumblr.](https://april-storm-af.tumblr.com/) <3


	15. Eyes Wide Open

“Plisetsky, what did you do?”

“Why do you assume it's my fault?”

“Beka’s been wearing his ‘Yuri broke my heart’ face. I recognize it when I see it.” Mila waits for him outside the main doors and joins him on his way to the hospital. She hooks her arm through his.

_ “Excuse me? _ If someone’s been having their heart shattered from the very beginning, it's me.”

“Whatever, just give me the details. He won't talk to me or anyone else about it.”

Yuri groans. Must everyone hear about his rejection? Should he publish it online and be over with it? “Mind your own fucking business.”

Mila pinches his arm as they walk into the inner circle. A man crashes into Yuri, almost throwing the two of them to the ground, and hurries to the garden without apologizing. “Asshole!”

He’s not the only one running. People crowd in the gardens without any care for where they put their big, clumsy feet. Yuri rushes there, pulling Mila along. If those jerks fuck up his hard work, they better be prepared for a world of pain.

Reaching the crowd almost destroys his hearing. Everyone is screaming, it’s hard to get through the wall of people. It takes Yuri several attempts to shove them aside and make it to the front. Two assholes roll on the floor, fighting all over his carnations. A couple of men try to separate them, but they’re clinging to each other hard.

Yuri throws himself on the back of the one on top and pulls him to the side. He falls on his back, with the man’s head on his chest while Mila picks the other one up, he struggles in her arms.

“Beka,” she gasps.

Otabek stops trying to get free when his eyes meet Yuri’s. Kenjirou helps lift the other one off Yuri, there’s blood running down his nose.

“Yuri.”

Holy shit, JJ’s face is almost unrecognizable with all the dirt and bruises. He’ll need a close-up picture of that. “What happened?”

The two of them don't give an explanation, but going by the way they keep glaring at the other, they might start again if they don’t separate them soon.

Kenjirou’s lip trembles as he says, “I tried to separate them and got an elbow to the face.” And that’s it on the subject. Mila pushes Otabek away. Yuri helps Kenjirou take JJ and his disfigured face to the hospital. Popovich might be able to work a miracle on him.

People mutter and the crowd disperses. The garden he worked so hard on destroyed once again.

 

* * *

 

 

Whatever it is that is going on with Otabek has to take the backseat when Phichit and Celestino show up.

Victor sends a message to the Traveler chat and they meet at Yakov’s house.

No one asks what happened to JJ’s face or why Kenjirou is wearing a cute band-aid on his cheek. Just as no one asks when the last time Celestino and Phichit took a shower. Or changed clothes.

Celestino hasn't changed much from the broken man he was on their timeline. Though there is something in his wild, not-quite-there eyes. It’s unclear if he recognizes them or not. Phichit is a trembling mess barely holding it together and twitching at every noise. Nothing like the happy young man he was. Seeing Katsudon and Guang Hong might make him feel better, but that’s not allowed yet. 

After they eat, the two of them are taken to the bunker underneath the council homes. The same one where they first held the Travelers after the Ripple. No one else is allowed inside to visit, not even the Travelers this time.

Sara walks back and forth all over the room. She sits, then stands not three seconds after, at a loss at what to do. Her hair is a bird’s nest from all the times she’s run her hand through it. “If it's him the one that killed Mikey…” She doesn’t finish, but she doesn’t need to. That’s another two people they’ll have to keep apart to the list.

Hours later, when the sun has set, Grandpa, Lilia and Yakov come back up.

Sara walks up to them. “How did it go? What did they say?”

The three of them shake their head and Lilia goes as far as to pinch the bridge of her nose and let out a groan. “It was nothing we didn't hear from Phichit’s message,” she says.

Grandpa drags his feet all the way to the sofa and slumps on it. “Celestino’s interrogation sure was something.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” Yuri gives Grandpa his cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” Grandpa pats his back, then puts an arm around his shoulder and takes a sip. “That man made no sense and neither did his memories. We think someone tampered with them.”

“You can do that?” That sounds extremely dangerous.

“Yes, but it's very painful and illegal. We’ll retake the interrogation tomorrow and suggest he shares all the memories. If he can't we might have to rip them from him.”

“Rip them?” Kenjirou hugs Yakov tighter, his eyes wide open. The old man is falling asleep on the comfy couch but still holds his son protectively.

“Sometimes it has to be done. It wouldn't surprise me if his current state is due to them getting ripped and reinserted. There seems to be a mixture of memories in there, from a couple of timelines.”

“How likely is that? Victor asks.

“We’re ninety-five percent certain. I hope it isn't the case. It would leave us no closer to solving this than we were before.” Lilia gets her coat from the rack and heads to the door. “We’ll inform you tomorrow when we're sure. Good night, everyone.”

Yuri and Grandpa leave shortly after. Grandpa is old, tired, and showing it for once. He rubs his neck and groans. This isn't what his old days should be like. All his life, he worked for a better world. Now that they have it, he should be able to rest and enjoy his golden years, not worry about time murders and the like.

By noon the next day, it’s confirmed. Celestino remembers things of little importance. All he knows is someone is after him, no details on who. No one is revealed in the shadowy memories they are able to retrieve, and it’s so frustrating.

Apparently, he is very prone to bursting into tears and apologizing for killing Yakov and Katsuki, only to then claim that he did nothing wrong. They are still alive, it all works out since someone that never existed can’t be killed.

Needless to say, no one thinks the same. Celestino murdered people and is not in the best state of mind at the moment. He can't be allowed to have contact with others, that could end in disaster. The two of them are going to have to remain hidden underground, there is still a person that knows about them inside the Donut. They can't risk anything.

There is only one good bit of news: they're going to experiment in removing Celestino’s bracelet, no one will really miss him if they fail. If they succeed without killing him, it could change everything, open their possibilities.

 

* * *

 

 

“Now that _ that _ is over, can you two idiots explain why you were fighting?”

“I wasn't.” Kenjirou pouts, his eyes watering. “I was trying to separate them.”

“Whatever.” Yuri sits next to him on the lower bunk bed. “Just tell me what that was all about.”

JJ lets himself down on his bed slowly, trying to keep the moaning to a minimum. It’s been two days, but he’s as sore as the first one. “I ran into him and thought it would be a good time to confront him, so I did. I hate seeing what he does to you. He keeps stringing you along to cut you off again and again. And then it somehow ended up like this.” He points to his swollen, multi-colored face with his broken hand. Did he learn nothing from Yuri’s own attempt at punching Otabek?

This fucking idiot always ruins everything. “Thanks for sticking up for me, I guess. Now I have to apologize for you.”

“Not really.”

“I can't believe I have to go there again.” He talks over JJ, heading to the door.

With a wave, Yuri leaves them alone. Since Otabek has been avoiding everyone lately, it's very likely that he'll be in his room.

He opens the door quickly at Yuri’s knock, aside from a black eye he looks perfect. If this doesn't end well, it's fine, it’s not so late that'll he have to stay to sleep. And if it does get that late, he can always have a sleepover with his friends now that Guang Hong’s bed is free.

He should have brought a gift, like a small, potted plant or food. Grandpa insists on good etiquette, but there was no time. Every day he waits to talk, it becomes worse. If left unchecked, his indecisiveness will ruin this relationship. More than it already has.

Yuri clears his throat and walks into the room without being invited first. Otabek has to move or be trampled. Potya is happy to see him, she wastes no time to rub herself on his legs. At least someone here missed him.

The usual small space free of bears at the foot of the bed is still there, he sits on it. He can almost pretend nothing has changed since the last time he was here. Otabek really needs to find somewhere else to put them. A shelf along the wall would be a good place for them to sit, though that might get a bit creepy. Now that they are alone in his room, he can't escape. Talking is happening tonight, this miscommunication bullshit has been going on long enough. “Haven't seen you around lately.”

“I've been busy.” Otabek rubs his arm, his eyes focused somewhere behind Yuri’s head.

“I saw, care to explain what that was all about?” Yuri points to his own eye. This isn't the real issue. He’s still upset about what happened during their last sleepover. It wasn't all his fault, he should have stopped sooner, but if Otabek minded it so much, then he should have kept his hands to himself. Or is this about the rescue mission? Is he really breaking what's left of their friendship over it? That can't be it, he is avoiding Mila too, and she is staying. Fuck it, he’ll ask straight on for once. “If this is about that night, I'm sorry. And if you think we can't keep being friends because of Georgi, I can respect that.” His voice cracks, all his controlled breathing is of no help.

Otabek pushes the bears aside to sit, hugs one of them tight and gives the most dejected sigh in history. “It's not about any of that. If that's what you must do, it's okay. I will support you. From apart. We can't keep being friends like we were, it's not working. At all.”

Yuri’s heart breaks and then the pieces burn to ashes. The empty place where it once was hurts, so he covers it with his hand. This isn't like all the other times they’ve ended their friendship. He should be used to it by now, but somehow it keeps getting worse. Yuri holds on to a random bear, it doesn't stop the aching. Fast blinking is not enough to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

“Shit.” Otabek holds Yuri’s shoulder and turns him around so they can be face to face. “I didn't mean it like that. Well, it is but it's not—it's not you, it's me—fuck. Not like that.” He runs both hands through his hair, his words come faster and faster. “I meant, it’s okay to go look for Georgi, he’s important for you. I wish you wouldn't, but that's for you to decide. But I still need to distance myself from you, but this not because you're leaving. I'm not trying to make you choose—"

“Shut up and tell me already.”

“I went looking for you to tell you it was okay and we should enjoy the time we have left. And then I saw it. I don't think I can handle it. So it's better if I distance myself, that would help me control myself or kill my feelings.”

“You’re not making any sense.” Yuri brushes away his tears.

“I saw you and JJ.”

Yuri frowns. “And then what?”

“I understand if you've moved on. I was taking too long, and it might have looked like I was playing with you. A little distance will help me come to terms with it better, a month or two. I want to be the friend you deserve for the remainder of your time here. I’ll apologize to JJ, eventually.”

“You're still not making sense.” What did JJ say to him exactly?

He gives an exasperated sigh. “I saw you and JJ kissing. I will not try to get in between, but I have strong feelings for you, and I don't think I can handle seeing the two of you together at the moment. Was that clear enough?” Otabek stands abruptly and paces around the room as if trying to find his missing patience.

“Oh, no. You saw that.” It's not fair that he’d witness such a low and terrible moment in his life. The memory of it is a punishment no one but those involved deserve. That the sight of it would taint an innocent soul is a disgrace.

“Yes, and I understand that you've moved on.”

Yuri snorts. “Wait, is this why he’s been saying you were trying to murder him with your eyes?”

“As I said, it will take me time. If I have to see the two of you together...” Otabek ’s jaw clenches, so do his fists. He takes a deep breath and tries to open and close them. Huh, interesting.

“You won’t. I kissed Chris and Kenjirou too.” JJ and him being a thing is not something anyone should believe for even a second. That is so gross it needs to be cleared instantly, though even grosser is the fact the kiss actually happened. “Kissing Chris was really something else. He groped my ass like there was no tomorrow, I think he might have left a bruise. I was too scared to look, but I can feel it."

“I don't need the details, please stop,” Otabek whimpers. The veins on his arm become more prominent and his bionic hand makes a metallic sound.

“No, you see, that was just me testing something Popovich said. There is nothing between me and any of them. It’s never happening again.”

“So, you are not with JJ?” He sits back on the bed, more relaxed. Hope shines in his pretty eyes.

“No, I'm offended you even thought that.” Honestly, in what universe would the two of them work out? Their relationship can only end in murder. JJ is only passable in small doses unless you’re as bad as he is, like Isabella.

Otabek falls back on the bed, he covers his face with his hands. A couple of bears go over the edge and to the floor. “Oh thank God, you don't know how hard it’s been to resist the urge to punch his smug face.”

“You didn't do such a good job at it, from what I've seen. Don't worry, I’ve shared a room with him, I know.” Yuri moves some more of the bears and lays down, face to face with Otabek. He smiles at him, now that everything has been cleared, the light is back on his eyes, stronger than ever. It brings out the purple in his face.

The smile doesn't last much. It’s soon replaced with a frown and a light blush. “I’ll have to apologize sooner than I thought. How is he?”

“His hand is broken. This disgusting ball popped out the back when he punched you. It was so gross, I have pictures.” Yuri reaches for his pocket but Otabek stops his hand.

“About our friendship then...”

“Yeah?”

Otabek leans over him without warning and kisses him on the lips. It's quick, sweet, and more wonderful than any peck has a right to be, turning his stomach into a fluttering mess.

“What was that?”

“I told you, we can't keep being friends. It's not working and since you're free after all.” He shrugs, his blush intensifies until his cheeks and ears are red. “I thought we could try this instead.”

Yuri’s face splits into a huge smile, he pulls Otabek into another kiss. It makes his heart race in a way the others didn't. That little doubt in his heart is finally put to rest. They separate but keep their foreheads touching. “I have to know, what made you think JJ and I would be anything serious?”

“After Isabella and JJ broke it off, JJ started talking about how being the only ones that would make it into a new world, Travelers should only date Travelers and started pursuing Yura—and sometimes Victor. I’m not sure if he liked them or if it was done out of loneliness. Since the two of you were on friendlier terms, shared a room for some time, and his personality is not much different than before, I thought he might have been trying something with you too.”

“That’s disgusting.” He wouldn't fall so low and neither would Yurio. Though he has to admit, it would bring him great joy if he did.

Otabek laughs, and it's like bathing in sunshine. “I'm happy you think so.”

“Is that what made you break the no kiss rule?”

“I knew that I liked you but not how much until I saw you with him and thought I lost you. I'm sure of how I feel. I see no point in wasting time. I want to be with you as more than friends, Yuri.”

“Are you going to be my boyfriend or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers, he says yes. Just four chapters left, we'll be done next month!:D  
> Not ship hate meant, just over the top denial.


	16. Towers of Gold

The council shares what they can of Celestino’s memories with the Travelers for them to piece together, since it’s their turn to rest. They are in shambles, a jumble of several timelines, blurred and out of order. It’s obvious someone ripped, tampered, and put them back. The best they can hope for is to separate them, find some sort of order to it and put the best version back in. Either the one from this time or their own. That way he at least won’t be a stranger in his own head.

All is done in a closed off room under Yakov’s house so it can remain secret, separate from where they keep Phichit and Celestino. Two times a day, a volunteer brings them food, though they don’t know what it is they do there, they are aware that it’s important. Sometimes it's Katsudon, one time it was Otabek and Mila. That one ended up with Yuri not caring about the onlookers and the jibes sure to follow and clinging to him from start to finish. He’d have pushed him into the hall for some alone time but they aren’t allowed even that.  Michele comes by most often to make sure his sister is alright. None of them have left the room in days, sleeping on cots in a corner of the room or on their chairs. The neck and back pain is terrible, but nothing compared to the timing, right when Yuri finally got a yes. These are the first days of his relationship and he can't enjoy them.

After the first few hours of rooting through the memories, they separate into groups. Victor and Kenjirou chose the new timeline memories. Sara and Yuri pick the memories of his Travel. JJ decides to piece together Celestino’s life in their old timeline.

While the present timelines have more content, they are also easier to make sense of. They don't have to repeat the same scene over and over trying to decipher who is there and what it's about. It’s ridiculous. Who goes to these lengths to cover their tracks? Couldn’t they just take out the parts they wanted to go? They could have deleted the original and left the new timelines memories, then it would be like he never Rippled here. He’d just be a normal man that woke up with a new bracelet one day instead of having his life destroyed.

These memories are full of shadow people saying and doing unintelligible things. They should give the two of them a prize for managing to figure out a sort of chronological order to them. It could be complete bullshit but it's better than nothing.

“Ah.” Sara sits up and shakes Yuri’s shoulder until he stops slumping on the table. “I think I remember this. If we compare it to my own memory we might be able to know which shape corresponds to which person and create a better image of what happened.”

Finally, a breakthrough. “I'll get the box.” Where is that thing? Yuri scrambles to find it. JJ throws it and hits him it in the butt while he’s on all fours checking under the table. He gets a free pass this time because his face hasn't gotten better. One more touch and it might break.

Sara hooks herself up and takes almost an hour to upload all her memories. Once it's done, she starts the projection. Everyone leaves what they are doing to check it out. It’s almost like watching a movie, a good rest is welcome. If only Katsudon had brought some snacks when he dropped by earlier.

“I think it’s this one.” She presses the screen and the memory starts, clear and bright.

Sara and Michele sit on a busy sidewalk, taking a rest during a protest, back when they were desperate for a bit of progress and trying everything. His mouth moves but says nothing. It’s not that the noise of the crowd is too loud, there is a strange, buzzing sound covering up his voice. At moments, he and the world blur away into colors and shapes. Have they been tampered with too? The work on them is much more subtle than with Celestino’s, whoever did this counted on her not noticing.

The world shifts as Sara looks up at the crowd, walking through in front of her is Celestino. He still wears the same clothes he did at JJ and Isabella’s wedding. The stench of alcohol almost comes through by looking at him. The memory fades to black and cuts off.

“That wasn’t much to work with.” What a disappointment, back to trying to sleep then. Yuri rests his head on the table again.

“It’s enough for me.” Sara is not discouraged at all, the fire burns in her eyes. “Now that I know which ones represent Mikey and me, we can piece it together better.” She smiles at Yuri and pats his head. “You sleep a bit, I’ll try to work this one out.”

She can treat him like a child all she wants as long as it benefits him. Yuri pats her on the shoulder and throws himself on one of the cots, it needs more pillows. It’s too bright and cold to sleep. He should have brought Beka Bear along to hug. Otabek’s jacket would have brought him warmth too. The others would have made fun but the rest would have been amazing.

After a long blink, the smell of food drags him to the table. JJ passes him a cup of the elixir of life, also known as coffee. How long was that nap? It couldn’t have been longer than three minutes but everyone acts like a decade has gone by.

“This is my seventh cup,” JJ says.

“We were about to have dinner and then sleep.” Sara takes a bite of her bread. “Would you mind taking all of Celestino’s memories tomorrow? I found some odd things with mine that I want to examine closer.”

“Sure.”

  
  


Yuri is one of the first to wake the next morning, or what he thinks is the next morning. Days and hours have been blurring together and time isn’t real anymore. None of the other guys moved during the night. Maybe they died of exhaustion during sleep. A hand in Kenjirou’s back is enough to put his doubts to rest, they’re still alive. That could change if he doesn’t get to pee before his bladder explodes.

The bathroom is locked. He knocks, Sara doesn’t answer but there is a noise from the inside. One that sounds suspiciously like a sob.

“Sara? Is everything ok?” Another quiet sob. They’re locked in, he can’t even go and pee outside. Leave and try it on some spare bottle or help a friend in need, what a dilemma. “Sara?”

The door opens, she waves him in. Does she expect him to pee while she is still inside? Not a good idea if he wants to live one more week. Yuri stumbles in anyway.

“I remembered Mikey’s death.” The sobs take over before she can say more.

Now he can’t kick her out of the bathroom without coming off as a huge asshole, so he does the best next thing and hugs her. They sit on the floor, leaning on the tub as she continues to cry her eyes out.

It doesn’t take long for the others to wake up. They help her out the bathroom and into one of the cots, giving him the perfect opportunity to relieve himself. By the time he sits with them, Sara has calmed down considerably.

“No one killed Mikey, it was an accident. His bracelet got damaged during the Leaps, it malfunctioned and killed him.”

JJ’s eyes widen. “That can happen?”

“They’re supposed to be very resistant, but if they were on the run and overused them there's a chance it took more than it could handle,” Victor says.

“It could have been me. It almost was.” She looks down at her own bracelet. “I could feel it trying to break me apart. One more Leap and I’m dead. My body isn’t fit for it anymore.”

“How did Michele’s bracelet get back to this time then?” Kenjirou asks. “How did it make it to Mila’s room?”

“I don’t know, I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to take it with me, or take care of his body. Maybe the machine spit it out when it broke, or someone... I had to abandon him to save myself. Whoever was following us, they must have...” She breaks down, crying harder than before.

They send her off to sleep for a few more hours while they work, she needs it the most. They would send her home, but unsupervised contact with the outside world is still forbidden until further notice. Her notes are good but it’s still hard to catch up with them. It takes half a day more for another breakthrough. It’s a bit of a problematic one this time, one that he can’t exactly share in front of Sara. Not that she isn’t trustworthy, but there is no way to tell what her reaction will be like. Plus, the tiny possibility that she was the guilty one all along.

“Guys,” Yuri stage whispers and signals them to leave the room. The four of them huddle together in the hall and it’s never been more obvious that they haven’t had a chance to shower, brush their teeth, or sleep properly than in that moment. “There was someone in the past helping Celestino. Running around with him and helping with his plan.”

If they are processing the information they sure aren’t showing it. Their tired, blank faces betray no emotion. They can almost give Otabek a run for his money.

“Okay. Who?” JJ asks.

“I don’t know, that's why I didn't say names, you idiot. I don't think it was anyone from the group but we can’t be sure.”

“What’s your list of likely suspects? Yakov was a child at the time, I doubt he could have done much to help.” Victor takes out one of the notebooks they’ve been using and starts writing off names. Given the situation, keeping their thoughts straight has been a hassle. “So Nikolai, Georgi, Sara, and Michele. Those are the new suspects, right?”

“If we go by Sara’s story, she and Michele were being hunted across time. Michele is dead and Sara was hurt so that gives it credibility. Nikolai can’t move forward to the future to do that and I doubt anyone is patient enough to hunt a Traveler linearly. Celestino is too inexperienced to do it alone.”

A heavy silence settles over them.

“No.” Yuri shakes his head. “I know what you’re thinking, you’re wrong. That makes no sense. Why would he?”

“He’s the only one left Yuri. It would make sense that he is the mystery arrival light.” JJ puts a hand on his shoulder. Yuri shakes it off, he doesn’t need their stupid pity.

“Except it doesn’t, because he is here and it’s not our Georgi. What about the other timelines?” If he was theirs, he would have come to Yuri straight away. Unless someone fucked up his memory too. Only Popovich acts nothing like Celestino or Sara.

“Calm down guys, let's not get ahead of ourselves.” Victor rests a hand on each of their arms. “We can’t know anything for certain, let’s keep our minds open and continue to investigate and gather proof.”

With a nod, they walk back into the room, careful not to wake Sara. They keep watching and rewatching memories.

There is no real proof that incriminates Georgi. No one has mentioned it so far but there is always the possibility that Sara’s pursuit memories aren't real, but implanted ones. Or they could just be plain wrong since she was under a lot of stress and was later hurt. After all, that’s what happened with the ones of Michele’s death.

And who’s to say Michele is really dead? Sure, his bracelet is here, but he could have found a loophole. Like cutting his hand to get it off and then stay in the past, with some time anything is possible. It could not work, but it’s worth a try if you already did other terrible things. He could be even working with Sara.

True, it’s a bit far-fetched and downright ridiculous in some points but not more so than Georgi doing it. Why do all that and make it back only to pretend to be someone else? For what purpose? What does he get out of it? Nothing, that's what. If Sara’s memories aren't trustworthy, then what is? Who? The one behind this could even be Grandpa, for some nefarious secret purpose. No one is free of suspicion.

 

It takes one more week to finally get a rest from the investigation. They haven't gone to the outside world at all. Their skin craves sunlight as well as contact with other human beings and a rest from each other. Yuri is sick and tired of all their stupid faces. Grandpa visits from time to time but it’s not enough, and neither are the little minutes he is allowed with Otabek.

When they piece together as much as humanly possible, they turn the work into the council. They share all their doubts,without Sara in the room, and then with her. The real ones, none of Yuri’s denial ramblings and finger pointing, as they called it. He can’t even complain, he does have a spotty record. Right about some things, wrong about others, and they’ve forbidden him from trying anything on his own.

Sara adds bit to her story during the meeting: the reason they stayed behind. “Something had to be fixed and then it didn't, it  _ was _ the fix.”

Probably not even Sara herself understood that. She seemed to be in a lot of pain while sharing it. Rubbing at her temple and struggling to keep her eyes open, as if forcing it through a headache.

Once free, Yuri goes straight to his boyfriend’s room. Digging on Georgi and Popovich can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter makes sense, it's of the ones that breaks my brain every time, with all the timelines I have to keep track of.


	17. Bound to Break

Sharing a bed with a boyfriend is so much better than with a friend. There's no worrying about getting too close at night or touching more than allowed by mistake. The kisses early in the morning are almost worth that one stray elbow during the night.

“Are you sure your grandpa doesn't mind you staying over for three days straight?”

“If he does, he shouldn't have kept us locked for weeks. I don't mind the others as much but it was two weeks of sharing space with JJ, day in and day out,” Yuri whines. “Not even when we lived together did I see so much of him.”

“What was that all about? You seem pretty upset.” Otabek pulls a corner of Yuri’s mouth down, he slaps it away.

“Nothing important, just hold me.” He gives Otabek his back and pulls an arm over his waist.

“You know you can tell me whatever it is. I’ll listen.”

“I know, I don't want to think about it for the moment. It's all I've been doing for weeks.”

Did he fail as a friend somehow? At that point in life, he wasn't one to openly pursue friendships and care for them. The relationships at the Feltsman house were created because no one else was around. Options don't exist at the end of the world. Part of life there was knowing that if you succeed, everyone you know will fade away when you make it back, or rather, if you do.

The relationships with other Travelers are always different though. They are the only constant, the one thing that will transcend. The proof that what once existed, and doesn't anymore, was real. Yuri’s concept of friendship now is much different from the one in the other timeline. It has grown and evolved in this new world, with new people and relationships.

Were the relationships before not strong enough? Did Georgi not think of them as friends? As family? Is this all one-sided? Why hide from him? What is it that he lacks as a friend? Why hide and pretend to not know him? Why chase Sara through time and hurt her?

A screech of pain and the world tilts. He hits the edge of the bed while the food and water he'd been carrying fall over it and the stuffed bears.

“Yuri!” Otabek picks Potya up. “Are you okay?”

He's not talking to the cat, or he would have used a softer tone. Poor Potya, getting stepped on by big, clumsy Yuri. “Yes, sorry about this, I'll clean it,” he says from the floor. Standing is not happening with this much pain in his ankle, though he could crawl and hop on one foot after.

“Please, don't.” He hands Potya to him and starts to separate the clean bears from the dirty ones. “Are you sure you're ok? You’ve been so distracted lately. It’s like you're not here half the time.”

Yuri checks Potya for injuries. Her fur is so soft and she is so adorable. “I’m fine. Sorry about the bed, you can sleep at my place tonight. Grandpa will love to have company for dinner again.”

Otabek stares at him in silence for a bit too long then nods.

The information they have from the past is seriously lacking. A bunch of heavily altered memories somewhat deciphered using the faulty ones of a girl that could be misleading them. She could be the problem, not intentionally, but it's a fact that she received a lot of damage. Her account of events count be off or even fabricated. There is no real way of knowing. And if something is wrong about her own memories, then their interpretation of Celestino’s is too. Hell, they could be completely fake and implanted to mislead them. That seems way more likely than Georgi pretending not to know him and trying to pass as a doctor for some reason. Though he and Katsuki each knew a bit of medicine, it wasn’t enough to run a hospital by himself.

Grandpa and Otabek stare at him from across the table.

Fuck, did he tune out of the world again? “Mmm, this...” It must have been pretty bad if he ate everything on his plate without noticing, he waves his fork over it. “Food? Was delicious, I'm so full it made me sleepy. I’ll wait for you in the room.”

Yuri goes straight from the table to his room, they can pick up his plate when they are done.

Otabek joins him in bed not long after, he doesn't turn on the light. He changes in the dark, gets under the covers and lays his head on Yuri’s chest. His strong arm wraps around his waist. Though he would like to stay that way forever, they only do so for a few minutes until his stomach gives a big rumble.

“I can bring you something to eat,” he mutters into his chest, barely awake and still being a perfect boyfriend.

Yuri runs his fingers through the long strands of his hair at the top of his head, “Don't be stupid, I just ate. If I get hungry during the night, I'll go.”

“Yuri.” He gives a cute, giant yawn. “You ate nothing. You stared at your food while Potya ate it right off your plate. I can pass you the memory later.”

“Oh.” No wonder there’s a giant hole in his stomach. “You should still sleep. If I get hungry I'll deal.”

Otabek nods and turns away, pulling the covers up to his ears.

Blaming Sara for it is shitty as hell. All because what, that he doesn't want to admit the person he thought of as a brother is some sort of fucking traitor that enjoys toying with them? She just went through something horrible and here he is, being a garbage human being and trying to find a way to make her responsible.

This type of behavior, this is why he has no real friends. It's exactly the reason he will never be worthy of someone like Otabek, and why Yurio was. This is why he doesn't mind being with Yuri now, back when it was permanent it was too fucking long. But now it's temporary and he won't have to remember afterward, so it's okay.

Same with Georgi, he is being lied to by him because of the giant pile of human garbage that he is. They must all be laughing behind his back. Hiding things from him like before. Oh, it's so clear now, why the rescue mission was canceled. He was such an idiot to come back, at least his mother tried to have a real relationship with him. But he's not even good to keep that one going, he hasn't called her since he started dating Otabek. What a disgusting excuse for a son—

A warm, wet tongue slips between his fingers.

His ability to speak takes a few seconds to come back, meanwhile, his face gets warmer and warmer. “What was that for?”

“Your ice cream was melting.”

Oh, right. They bought ice cream during their weekly park date, which they are having right now. Totally didn't forget that. His attention has been on Otabek one hundred percent from the very beginning.

While the Georgi problem is a big one, it's not an excuse to be a shitty boyfriend. If this is how he’s going to be acting it would have been better to not pursue anything. Otabek is so good, he could be out there being happy with someone else. Instead, here he is, with a boyfriend that constantly neglects him.

Leaving him is not something that he can do at the moment though. His heart hasn't been this whole since he was a child. This much happiness is addictive. If only the Georgi problem wasn't here, he would be free to enjoy it.

Does Georgi hate him so much that he enjoys seeing his first relationship go down the drain? Why not just come out and say it?

“I'm going to get more food, you want anything?” Otabek whispers in his ears.

Yuri shakes his head and gets more comfortable on the many pillows they carried over. The domed ceiling had to be put on to protect them from the heavy snow. The movie of the week features two of the actors that made it to the Most Handsome and Best Ass list he has with his mom, yet it's not enough to keep his attention.

This is getting bad. A breakup could be on its way soon.

“Hey.” A finger taps lightly on his head. “Your boyfriend said you wanted to talk to me?”

Popovich smiles down at him. Yuri doesn't answer or waste any time. If he opens his mouth, it'll be to eat him alive. He grabs the life ruiner’s wrist, where his bracelet should be, and pulls up the sleeve. It’s bare. So is the other one. There is no bracelet, and no tan line to hint at there one being there recently.

This isn't his Georgi. He really is either dead or stranded in time. All this time and energy wasted thinking about it, trying to come up with an explanation, with an excuse, and it wasn't real. It wasn't fucking real.

He lets go of his arm with force. Popovich laughs nervously and rubs his wrists.

“It was nothing. Now leave. I want to make out with my boyfriend before the movie ends.”

This time Popovich’s laugh does reach his eyes. He leaves, but not before patting Yuri’s head and messing up his hair.

Otabek returns far too quickly and with no food. His face doesn't give him away but his fidgety hands do.

“You're such an asshole, tricking me like that.” Yuri pulls him by the collar of his shirt and kisses him. “Thanks.”

  
  


Now that the mystery is over, it's finally time to spend his every waking moment doting on his adorable boyfriend. Kissing him under the fruit trees, doing some heavy petting in his private greenhouse, and other things on their bedrooms at night. Like that one memorable experiment with the memory box.

The days get brighter, JJ is less annoying, the food tastes better. Everything about this timeline is wonderful. Every day, he spends half of his energy fighting off the urge to burst into a happy song. There is no way anything can go wrong with his love and family by his side.

It’s not Georgi. Who gives a fuck about whatever is going on. Nothing matters anymore. Time machines? Sick residents? Two people hiding underground?  _ Not Yuri's problem. _

So why is he getting called back to this nightmare, underground secret room? There better be a good reason for this or heads will roll. They left him no time to even kiss his boyfriend goodbye for the day. Dicks.

Lilia bursts through the door. “We have a problem.”

Kenjirou looks around, unsure. “Are we not going to wait for Sara?”

“No.” She offers no explanation as to why.

“We have two problems, actually.” Yakov walks in pushing a tray of food. It smells delicious, and not because he's starving. “Someone leaked the news of the canceled program to the residents. They’re not very happy about it, they were supposed to vote on it. Though it's not too serious, it's better if you stay here for now. We don't know what they’re willing to do.”

Lilia sighs. “I’d say we don't house anyone willing to hurt others but desperate people are unpredictable. Some are already calling for us to fix the machine."

“Are you going to?” Victor asks before taking a bite of his apple.

“We already did, part of it at least. That's our second problem.” Nikolai turns on the projector. “We got the registry of every Leap. Sara wasn't being chased, she was doing the chasing.”

“She lied?” Yuri slams his hands on the table as he stands. JJ pulls him down by his shirt. Why did they sit next to each other again?

“We don't know that yet, she could be confused. All we know is Michele and eventually, only Sara chased Celestino and Georgi until this moment.” Lilia points to the last entry, which they all share. “Something happened then that caused the machine to break. We did a little digging and found it was Celestino’s time of birth. That should have been enough to do it.”

“Popovich doesn't have a bracelet, I checked.”

“That means he died during this or he is stranded, either at that period or the machine spit him somewhere in time. We don't have the arrival registry of anyone, and Kenjirou is untraceable.”

Fuck, so what now? Georgi wasn't hunting Sara along with Celestino, it was Sara that was going after them without caring about the damage it did to her or if her brother died. Who was the one trying to harm who?

“We brought you here today to let you know we will be holding the decision up to a vote soon, probably within the month,” Lilia says. “Meanwhile, we’ll run through Sara’s memories and piece together what we can. We need to know if we should send a rescue mission or leave it and go back to the usual work of making the world a little better one action at a time.”

  
  


Going through Sara’s memories is different than going through Celestino’s. Now that they know the damage isn’t external and that the truth is there in the empty space somewhere, they focus on something different. Something a bit more technical that requires manuals, tutorials, and a crash course from Nikolai. It’s a lot more boring but as a plus, also less likely to drive them nuts with lack of sleep and confusing memories.

Yuri sends a quick text to Otabek before their phones are taken as a security measure.

The future of his relationship hangs on a vote. Otabek won't want to keep dating him if he goes to the past. If there is no Georgi to save, his Yura can't come back. He’s stuck with the defective, knock-off version of the love of his life. Even if they vote no on the travel the situation, it remains the same.

This is a good opportunity and sickeningly selfish. Waking up every day in each other's arms has been a dream. Like all dreams, it’s meant to come to an end. Now, it’ll become a nightmare for only one of them. Is it unfair? Yes. Does he care enough to break things off himself? Fuck no.

So many of Yuri’s first have happened with Otabek, one more will be okay. The first time he settles for not being loved. If he needs to be number two for the rest of his life, then that is fine. As long as Otabek smiles at him when he wakes in the morning and kisses him every night in bed.

 

* * *

 

 

This time, it doesn't take a week for them to return home. The people are tense but calm and reasonable. Despite that, they do have to go back every day at least for an hour to work on it. It also becomes mandatory for everyone with a bracelet to retake their exercise routine, just in case. Yakov is exempt from this since no one wants to kill him. Kenjirou is the one least used to it, most of the time he resembles a dying fish.

Seeing his boyfriend every night is a good way to recharge batteries. His bed is fine by now but too small, Yuri’s is larger so that's the one they share. Turns out Otabek is a giant prude that refuses to do anything on the days that Grandpa is home. He makes up for it by having breakfast ready in the mornings.

Yuri stretches and walks into the kitchen. There on the counter, while the food lays forgotten on the stove, is Otabek, legs wrapped around someone else while they lean in. The kiss is so passionate it knocks the air off Yuri’s lungs. He is frozen in place, unable to move and tear them apart.

They haven't noticed him, he might as well not exist anymore. The smoke from the stove turns darks.

The other man pushes Otabek, who still has no eyes for anyone else, and turns to Yuri.

No, it can't be. This isn't possible. He’s supposed to be gone.

Yurio stands in front of Yuri and laughs. “Did you really think I would let you have my boyfriend, my family, and my life? That I wouldn't find a way back to them? That they could ever feel something for you or even notice you when they can have me?” He rests a hand on Yuri’s cheek and brushes away a tear with his thumb. “How cute, you thought you were more to them than a cheap replacement.” He walks back to Otabek. “Well, I'm here now. No one needs you anymore.”

They kiss again, the noises coming out of them are disgusting. The smoke fills the house, he's going to barf. He turns and Grandpa is there.

“Leave,” he says. “No one wants you here.”

Potya hisses at his feet.

“Yuri,” Otabek calls, but his lips are still locked with Yurio’s.

His shoulders give a sharp jerk and he's back in bed.

“Yuri.” Otabek kisses his forehead as soon as he opens his eyes. “Are you alright? You were calling me in your sleep.”

His face is too blurry, must be the tears pooling in his eyes. Great, now he knows he cries during nightmares. Without answering, Yuri pulls him down into another urgent kiss. And another. Then flips Otabek on the bed so that he is under him. Eventually, the kisses become less frantic, until they lay there lost in each other’s eyes.

“I’m going to be late for work.” He makes no attempt to leave.

“Don't go. Stay.” Yuri whines. “We can visit Guang Hong together.”

“I have to.”

“Grandpa is your boss. He’ll be okay with it.”

“Nope.” He rolls off the bed and leaves one last kiss on Yuri’s lips. “I’ll try to come by earlier tonight.”

Yuri sighs, touching his lips. He’ll have to keep to the plan of meeting Kenjirou at the main tree. Poor Guang Hong, he wouldn't have gotten sick if he’d gone home instead of staying. That’s some shitty luck.

Since he hasn’t had the time to do laundry, Yuri digs deep through his drawers to find a shirt. The only clean one he finds is Otabek’s. The advantages of having a boyfriend never end. It’s the next best thing to having him stay, though it’s a bit loose on him.

When he walks with Kenjirou into the hospital, it’s like stepping into another world. One that moves ten times faster. The volunteers—with Aynur among them—rush everywhere along with Popovich. Some hold the visitors back from running into the rooms. They push and shove, their voices loud and angry, and form a wall between them and the entrance to the rooms.

“What's happening?” Kenjirou yells at no one in specific.

It’s the teenager standing next to him that responds, “It started about an hour ago. Some patients died, then some more. It hasn’t stopped. At this pace, all will be gone by noon. They won't let us in to say our goodbyes. If they can’t save them, they owe us at least that.”

They can’t all die, can they? Guang Hong didn't look so bad last time they visited. Popovich even said he could be released soon among some others. Even if most of them die, he’s one of the few that won’t. He didn't survive until now to end here, it’s not his way.

After half an hour trying to talk to Popovich or a volunteer without success, security comes. They force the people out, getting a little rough though not violent. Otabek and Mila are among them and shoot them apologetic looks.

No one wants to leave, so they sit in the cafeteria and wait. Lunchtime comes and goes and there is still no news. It isn’t until mid-afternoon that Popovich and his medical volunteers come out. All of them, which isn't a good idea. A complication could happen at any moment, what are they thinking?

Popovich clears his throat and steps forward. “We’re sorry, we did the best we could. N-none of them made it. The council agrees we should cremate them. If you want the ashes of your loved one please fill out the related paperwork. If not, they will be placed in the memorial room.” He nods and with somewhat unstable legs, he and his volunteers go back into the hospital.

The silence is deafening, every single person is still trying to process the news. None of them made it? How is this possible? So they collectively die at the same time? This can’t be normal. Some people got admitted weeks ago and others just yesterday. Does that not matter?

The first few murmurs start to fill the cafeteria. It soon turns into sobs and angry yelling. A man stands from his table, tears in his eyes, and lifts Yuri up by the shirt. He’s twice as wide as him, made of pure muscle. “And what are you going to do about this, Traveler?”

Yuri stares him in the eye and says nothing, what can he? He wants the answer to that too. What are they supposed to do now? What strategy should they use to fix this? It’s not like anyone can go back to warn themselves. Travel back too long and it could Reset. Plus, the machine is still broken and the decision up for a vote.

Kenjirou tries to take the man’s muscular arm away from him. When pulling at his fingers fails, he clings to it like a child. He scratches him, his face red with effort. “Please, sir, we’re all in the same situation. We can do nothing at the moment. When the time comes, you can cast your vote to decide.”

“What's left to decide?” A woman shouts from her table. “You have to go back and fix this. That’s what you do, isn’t it?”

Kenjirou’s eyes shift to the woman somewhere behind Yuri, then to the man still holding him up. “Well, changing time is something that needs to be carefully considered. There are many people alive in this world and it’s not fair that they disappear because we decided they should. While we feel this loss greatly, it’s not enough to justify erasing the entire human population. We have no right.”

“I don’t give a shit about that. I want my son back and if I can forget about this nightmare even better. ” Another man shouts near the door.

Before Yuri or Kenjirou can de-escalate the situation, another one shouts, “And who are you to decide who lives and who dies? If this is how it was meant to be, then let it be. They are right, we have no right to rewrite history and erase every single life on this planet because of our personal loss.”

It only gets worse from there. The sobs are still there but getting drowned by the loud, angry voices of the arguing residents. It’s very divided. Things get so heated that when an elderly man smacks another with his cane, all hell breaks loose. People hit each other, not caring about age or gender. They push and throw one another into tables and walls. Some asshole hits a woman with a chair. Two huge dudes roll on the floor, clinging to each other and running down anyone near them. Children cry in the corners, the older ones protect the younger, who call for their parents.

Kenjirou’s hold on Yuri’s hand is so strong it’s growing numb. They have to duck when someone throws a piece of a broken table at them. They sneak off to the exit without getting more than a few punches and a hair pull or two. Yuri pulls down the alarm in the hall and runs with Kenjirou to Yakov’s home. They hold hands as they run as fast as they can, to make sure the other doesn’t fall behind. Yuri sends a message to the Traveler chat with his free one.

_ It’s not safe out. _

_ Go to Yakov’s. I’ll explain there. _

  
  


Security gets called once again to get everyone under control. Otabek comes home with a black eye but otherwise unharmed. The Travelers are back to keeping a low profile, only going out that week for the mass funeral.

A large number of residents were lost. It doesn't paint a hopeful picture for the sick ones that still live their normal lives. Their days could be numbered and they know it.

Popovich doesn't go to the funeral. He’s not taking it well, and that's what saves him from the people’s anger. They can’t blame someone that threw himself into work like that and failed. Someone that seems to carry all the guilt in his shoulders with eyes devoid of light. Everyone is on high alert for another tragedy. No one wants to lose their only doctor or another member of the community.

The divide remains strong. It tears families and friends apart, and even Yuri himself.

 

* * *

 

 

In case the Leaps resume as normal, is it possible for their relationship to survive? Should they even attempt it? Six months is such a long time. Otabek could meet someone else. He could return one day and find him about to be married.

There’s no telling if he will come back once he is gone either. The mortality rate has really gone up this past year. First Michele, then possibly Georgi. The bracelet could react in unpredictable ways, tearing them apart for good.

Would Otabek like that? That he won't have to stick with Yuri anymore, free of the guilt and awkwardness associated with a break-up. Who wouldn’t be happy to be rid of someone that prioritizes their relationship rather than the sudden and recent loss of life? He’s so selfish he deserves to be dumped. Can anyone like someone like him?

It doesn't seem like he is faking it though. At moments, it's almost like he truly cares for Yuri on the same level, maybe more, than he did for Yurio. If that is the case, then fuck the past and what the people want. If anyone has a right to do something terribly selfish then it's him. It's not like there aren't many more members capable of doing the job.

Then again, if he does stay and the others change the world, the bracelet is still on his wrist. Otabek doesn't have one. There aren't any spare ones to use. He can’t fight Sara for Michele’s. One minute they'd be enjoying life and the next he would fade out of existence while Yuri goes into a new timeline.

Yuri plucks one of the zinnias nearby. Could one of its many, many red petals hold the answer?

“Should I break it off and go or stay and risk him fading? Am I an asshole for considering it?” The zinnia doesn't answer, not even when a stray tear falls on it. It remains beautiful and still. He pulls the petals off, alternating between “Break up,” “Stay and fade,” and “Asshole.”

“Call me crazy, but I don't think the flower has the answers.” Sara sits next to him on the bench. “Even if you torture it.” She covers his hand with hers and lowers it.

Everyone keeps walking in on him lately. Can't they let a person cry and be miserable in peace? “Oh yeah? And you do?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Sara opens her bag and pulls out Michele’s bracelet.

Surely she isn't suggesting that he keep it.

“I wanted to give this to Michele as a safety measure. Can't lose another brother.”

Oh, so it was just bragging. The old flower is useless now, maybe another one with more petals will work better. He throws it to the floor and crushes it with his foot.

“And then I realized I've made a good friend in Mila and I don't want a new world without her.”

“And you can't choose between them so you want me to give it to Otabek?” So it was something useful after all.

“Not exactly. I don't want to choose, I want to have it all. So I went to the city and found someone that can rework the metal.”

That is possible? It was very hard for Grandpa and Yakov to make them, and dangerous too. That's why there is only a limited amount if she found a way to get over that…

“It won't work for time travel. It won't have any of the mechanics but the metal will keep them safe from the Ripple.” She smiles. “ There’s enough for three if you're interested.”

Sara can only laugh when Yuri throws himself at her. It’s not something that can be done often, what with Michele hovering everywhere. Now that they’re alone it’s the perfect opportunity to give her the hug of a lifetime, and he takes it.

  
  


With that weight off his chest, they make plans to go to the city that same week. Mila takes care of all the paperwork and permissions while Yuri talks it out with Grandpa and Otabek. Most of their uneasiness about it vanishes when they learn of Mila going with them. Still, Otabek insists on accompanying them and needs a little reminder that he is dating an adult man that can take care of himself. It’s not the right time to let him know about the plan.

The shop they visit is a small one, with fading paint and stuck between two taller, newer buildings. It is also not far from the Donut, so they set out at a reasonable hour and still have plenty of the sunny day left to enjoy.

Sara is having matching pendants done for Mila and Michele.

A pendant is a good idea, but it's not enough for some reason. Not that any piece of jewelry is more appropriate than another for their purpose. Anything will work fine as long as Otabek is wearing it if a Ripple comes. A pendant is fine, good enough. It doesn't matter how much those other pieces try to get attention, they're unnecessary and will only overcomplicate things.

“Yuri, don't overthink it.” Mila squeezes one of his shoulders and leans to speak in his ear. “Just do it. You’re basically asking him already by giving him the option. Gather your courage and make it official.”

That's true. You don't ask someone to leave everything they know behind for you without putting a ring on their finger. When his body starts working again, it’s what he’s totally gonna do. Even if it’s too soon and could ruin everything.

“Do it, everything will work out and we’ll be celebrating another wedding before you know it.” She gives him a light push towards the jeweler.

With a deep breath, he does it. It’ll be ready soon, his savings from the gardening job aren't enough so everyone pitches in a little and promise to keep the secret. It's surreal. The receipt says it's not a dream. Yuri floats out of there and into the car.

This is it, they can be together now, forever. If he says yes. There is still the possibility that he'll accuse Yuri of ruining everything and dump him. They’ve barely known each other for a year or so and dated even less. This is so rushed by anyone’s standards. But they don't have to do it soon. It's just a safety measure for a thing that might never come. If he's uncomfortable with it he can always put it in a chain and wear it like that.

Come to think of it, did Yurio ever give him a ring? What if it was much better than the simple design he picked? They would be compared forever. No, don't panic, Plisetsky. Mila would have mentioned it if it had happened. Unless, of course, she still secretly hates him and is setting him up for failure.

Yuri hasn't put a foot on the ground when he gets a message from Grandpa.

_ The Traveler Program has been renewed. Report to the training grounds at 8pm. _

At that moment, Yuri crashes to and through the earth. No, it’s too soon. The ring isn't ready yet.

The meeting is short. It’s to officially inform them that they are back on schedule, new teams to be assigned soon. Chances are Yuri will be paired with JJ. What terrible crime did he commit to deserve this punishment? Giving up six months with Otabek and his family to be stuck with JJ.

No one is excited about it. Kenjirou and Victor would sooner damage their own bodies than leave Katsudon. The news that they _ did _ do that might come soon. JJ keeps his head down and nods. Sara isn't even there, her bracelet hasn't been fixed yet.

The three of them walk back to the Donut together, Grandpa is too busy to go home with him tonight. Out of all the nights he would have killed to have free with Otabek, it has to be this one. The walk back takes longer than usual, his leisure pace is great for thinking but not much else.

Is it too soon to be in love? What is the acceptable time frame? Victor and Katsudon hit it off from the start, so it can't be that rare. Then again Grandpa took many, many years to get it started with Grandma. If Otabek does accept to marry him, it could still end badly. Divorces are common and they are so young. Meeting someone better than Yuri isn't hard to do, what's to stop Otabek from leaving him then?

Or he could leave without having to be with someone else. Then he'd resent him for taking him to that world, where he is alone with no one but a crappy ex. Is their relationship worth the risk? For Yuri it is, but what about Otabek?

Up for consideration is also the fact that there might be another Otabek in this other world, and picking Yuri will mean murdering him in a way. It’s not a pleasant or easy thing to come to terms with. Given the choice, no one would pick it. A good person would never even consider asking another to make the choice. Not when they wouldn't do it either.

The stupid bracelet didn't let him retire, and a person died for it. And now, another one might die again. It's better to not force Otabek to make the choice, though is that not also murdering him and all the world in a way. Otabek, as he is, might not exist anymore. And he knows it, has known it all his life and made peace with it long ago when he pulled out of the program.

Fuck, this can't happen again. Once has been eventful enough. How did Otabek do it? Look him in the face, so like the one he loved, and not blame him. How did he not hate Yuri after he pursued an unwanted friendship so intently?

This proves, in a way, that he can never be special enough. No one, in any timeline, even if technically the same person, could ever come close to being what he is to Yuri. And so, the same must be for Yurio. No one could ever be more than a substitute, even if technically the same person. Maybe if Otabek fades, he can rejoin his Yura wherever reset people go.

Dinner is quiet. No one mentions the news about the program, they both know and that's enough. If he is angry, sad, resigned, or something else is impossible to tell, and Yuri doesn’t ask. Otabek’s face is back to that old stoicism they had left behind. There is nothing in his eyes. The usual spark is gone.

Instead of enjoying what could be one of their last nights together, they clean the dishes in silence and climb into bed. Each on their own side, without touching. Like he just rescued an injured Yuri from the rain after a poorly thought escape and is afraid of hurting him.

Once again, it’s Otabek that closes the distance between them. It's not so bad to be the little spoon, the tiny kisses on his shoulder are a plus. They send shivers up and down his body.

If only this could be their life from now on. With eyes closed and most thought process shutdown, the love is almost real. There is no one else but the two of them. Nothing matters but each other.

Yuri turns in his arms and hugs him back. They stay that way until his heart settles. In the dim light, Yuri finds Otabek’s lips with his own, his fingers trailing through his undercut. Their kisses are slow and deep.

The hands that explore his body are no different than usual, but the way they do it is. Never has he been touched with so much care and love. Everything in their path breaks and falls into place. Nothing will ever be the same. There is no going back.

Otabek’s breath evens out as he sleeps and Yuri can’t hold it in anymore. He covers his trembling lip with his hand, a loud sound could give him away. A few tears roll down his cheek into the bed. His grip tightens around Yuri’s waist, he gives a little grunt and starts mumbling. This boy speaks more when he’s asleep than awake. The little 'don’t's whispered into his skin are a soft lullaby. One that can be given any meaning. Like ‘Don't leave me.’

In the morning, they enjoy a long bubble bath together. Pretending is nice. Reality doesn't have to be so. Not yet.


	18. What's Written

The ring and pendants are ready to go just one week after they place the order. How is he supposed to keep putting it off when it's here, physically in his hand? Couldn't they be like a normal business and have it late, avoid him with stupid excuses and eventually run away with his money? No wonder the store is falling apart, all the workers are too decent to steal and profit at the customers' expense.

Not everything sucks, the light is back in Otabek’s eyes. About twenty-five years worth of it. At any given moment there is so much in them that they become blinding, indecipherable, and painful. And then it’s gone, back to that old emptiness.

The new clinginess can be explained in two ways: the fantasy one, Yuri is so loved that every possible second has to be spent with him or, the realistic one, gotta enjoy that body while it's still there. They might be able to work an arrangement. Together six months and free the next six, open and uncomplicated.

They've been so busy with each other neither one has bothered to do the laundry again. This time not even Otabek’s clothes are left. He uses that as an excuse to try to be back in his room, which he hasn't used in weeks. Though Otabek has the better room, Yuri has the better bed and a whole house so he’s the one that should move in. Not that there's a hurry to vacate it anymore since their numbers recently took a large hit.

Playing with the ring doesn't magically fix the problem. The time to act is slipping by, everyone moment spent being a chicken is a moment closer to losing him.

It has to be today. No more excuses, no more putting it off. Otabek will never expect him to show up in his room while he’s cleaning and propose, so that's what's happening. He’ll be so surprised he’ll say yes before he realizes what he agreed to. Perfect plan, can't backfire. Remember Plisetsky, you are loved, even if it's because you resemble a past lover.

Hours later, Yuri sits under the main tree. The wind rustles the branches and light pink blooms fall around it. Maintaining the courage to take that big step is harder than gathering it.

“Yuri! It’s been so long.” Kenjirou sits next to him, a bit more crestfallen than usual. His voice lacks the high energy.

“I've seen you every day this week.”

“Ah, really?” He rubs his neck. “Feels longer since we don't sleep together anymore. I miss you sometimes, JJ talks too much.”

Nearby, someone coughs. It's violent and sounds very painful for their throat. A lot of people are in a similar state, dressed down to their pajamas. They are still getting sick, though no one has died again so far, a lot are taking rests. Everything is still functioning, but if they lose any more people, the community might be in trouble. There is still no answer as to who is causing it or how to stop it, other than it’s not contagious.

“I hope Popovich finds a cure soon. Or the culprit.” At this rate, everyone will get sick.

“Me too, it must be very hard for you and Otabek.” Kenjirou pats his back.

“Not harder than for anyone else.” The sick ones and their family members are probably the most affected ones.

“That’s so mean, Yuri.” He laughs nervously. “I thought you liked Aynur.”

What does one thing have to do with the other? It makes zero sense, is JJ’s stupidity contagious? How did—oh, no. Yuri runs to the dormitories and stops on the first floor. Where does Aynur live? Is she in the hospital yet?

Is it a bad moment to ask Otabek? Fuck, fuck, fuck, what selfish asshole thinks about something like that when their loved one is suffering. If there was ever any doubt Otabek is too good for him, then this confirms it.

Aynur is leaving the hospital when he walks into them. There are no words appropriate for this moment, so he hugs her. They might not be from the same timeline or have much of a relationship in this one but for once, that doesn’t matter. If they don't find a cure soon she is going to die. Otabek hugs him as soon as he lets go of his mother. To calm his trembling body a little bit, he kisses the top of his head.

And then Yuri’s stupid phone beeps. It's the council’s tone.

“Go, I'll wait for you at home.” He says and leads his mom away carefully.

Great, perfect timing. It better be something good or someone is getting their ass kicked.

  
  


Sara is at the meeting this time. She can't Travel, so what is this about? Yuri sits between her and JJ and waits for the oldies to show up.

Only Lilia comes this time, her hair out of the bun and loose. It’s straight, long and beautiful. She takes good care of it and it shows. With her is Katsudon.

She waves at him to sit. “This will be quick but important, so listen. The sickness is spreading, we still don't know how to fix it. The vote last week was a divided ‘yes’ on the Travel, so we did it again. With the news that people have started dying in the city because of it, this week it's one-sided. The people want change. They don't care if they disappear anymore, they are dying or trying to escape that pain.”

Oh no. The time is up. Yuri clenches the ring in his pocket. The chance to ask Otabek is gone because of all the time wasted acting like a chicken.

Lilia takes a deep breath, “I know a lot of you didn't want to go, and others did. So I'm happy to announce we have a solution. After weeks of hard work, Yakov removed the bracelet from Celestino without harming him. Mr. Katsuki will be joining the program officially from now on.”  He gives her his arm and she clasps it with a large smile. “Congratulations. Any of you that want it gone can make an appointment with Yakov. Be prepared to stay still for many hours.”

Katsudon runs into Victor and Kenjirou’s arms the moment Lilia leaves. Good for them, that it all worked out. Now they can go on adventures together because none of them risk dying by doing so. He averts his eyes from them.

Is this a dream? No, JJ would burst on fire on command if it was and he's okay so far. This is real. Reality has found him a way out of that proposal. What a stroke of good luck. Now Yuri can quit and stay with Otabek through whatever comes. Normal life or a Ripple. No need to come clean about his feelings and risk it all.

It's a cowardly move. With his mother now sick, has Otabek changed his mind about the Traveling? At first, he wanted nothing with Yuri because of it. Does he still prefer that or will he think him a coward for not trying to save the world and Aynur with it?

  
  


Yuri doesn't wander around on the path home. The meeting and walk are so quick that Otabek isn't back yet. It gives him enough time to prepare lunch and play with Potya.

It's so easy to lose track of time when cuddling with the best cat in the world. The smell of the recently made soup in the air combines perfectly with the warm blankets and the comfortable couch. A quick moment of perfection before whatever is to come.

Otabek kisses him awake just before sunset.

“Hey, how's your mom?” Yuri rubs his eyes.

“It’s just starting, she has a bit more time before…”

Great, now he's made his boyfriend cry. If he wasn't so selfish he would let Otabek be free with someone else.

“Let’s not talk about that, how was your meeting? Anything interesting?” He lifts the blankets and gets under them with Yuri, who wraps his arms around his neck.

“Yes, actually. I wanted to talk with you before making a decision. Lilia says the Travel will restart soon. And I wanted to know if—”

Otabek interrupts with a kiss. “It’s okay, Yuri. You can go, don't worry about me.”

Yuri’s stomach drops. “Is it?” That's it? Not even an attempt to make him stay or ask if he wants to?

Something flashes in his eyes, but he returns to his stoic self fast. “Yes, I knew this would happen sooner or later. Yura had permission and so do you.” He pats Yuri’s chest with little strength and pushes himself away. “So, if the Ripple comes and you find a new Otabek in my place, it's okay for you to be with him. I don't mind. I’m sure he’ll love you in time too.”

What the fuck? What just happened? Out of all the things Yuri could have meant. Why would he even? What? How did he reach that?

“Excuse me.” Otabek gets up from the couch, leaving him cold. “I’m a bit hungry.”

Yuri reacts a bit too late to stop him but catches up to him in the kitchen. He hugs him from behind and buries his face on Otabek’s neck. That comment was so fucked up. Why would he think Yuri wants that? Did Yurio do it? What an insensitive ass.

“I don't want permission to love another version of you, you idiot.” Time to bare it all, both of them need it. “And I wouldn't give you mine to love another Yuri. I'm not that good a person. I know what we have can't compare to what you had with Yura, but I'm selfish and that’s my limit. I don't want you to love someone else, just me. That's why I wanted your opinion. Yakov figured out a way to remove the bracelets, I want to do it and stay with you. For whatever comes, for as long as you’ll have me.”

Otabek starts shaking, his breathing alters and he grabs one of Yuri’s arms. “You would do that for me?”

“It’s mostly for me if I'm honest.” It’s not like he is making a huge sacrifice; he’s the one benefiting the most.

“Good, I don't want you to love another Otabek either, or someone else. I want to be the only one. The same way you’re the only one for me.”

“Are you sure?” His throat throbs, trying to prevent him from making the mistake of asking. “What about Yura? Wouldn’t you prefer it was him, un-obsessed as I offered?”

“If there was another way—I wish he could—” He shakes his head. “But never over you.”

It might have been a bit too cruel to ask about that. To make him say it out loud, Yurio was an important person in his life and however things might have ended, Otabek wasn’t the type to wish him dead. Though his reaction might be a bit inappropriate, Yuri’s heart can’t take it and beats as if trying to burst out his chest. He hugs him tighter and hides a smile on his shoulder.

“So you’re okay with me not Traveling or doing more to help the world?”

“You’ve done enough already, it was never your responsibility. Let the others continue with it.”

“I thought you would hate me for it.” Yuri’s voice trembles.

“I could never, Yuri. I thought you would always choose it over me.”

“Never. I'll have Yakov remove it tomorrow, then we can enjoy whatever is left of our lives together, okay?”

“Okay.” Otabek turns around with faint tear tracks and the brightest smile on his face.

  
  


The appointment is about to be made. After today, the bracelet will be gone. Whatever happens is outside of his control, as it should always be. If he lives a long life or is erased from existence, that depends on the others. No more obligations. Freedom is so near, he can almost taste it.

The ring won't be necessary either. If the relationship ever progresses to that point he can always get a new one, instead of rushing things. It would have looked good in the chain and around Otabek’s neck in the meantime, but it wasn't meant to be.

Yuri is admiring the ring when Otabek opens the door to his room without warning. It falls to the floor and he kicks it under the bed before he can see it.

“If you hurry, the three of us can have breakfast together.” He says and closes the door. Couldn’t he shout that from outside like a normal person? Yuri kneels, it’s too dark under the bed, he can’t make out anything, though some spots are darker than others and at moments appear to move. The door slides open again. “Also, all your clothes are dirty. I’ll be doing the laundry tonight. If you don't have anything to wear, you can grab something of mine.”

Yuri straightens right away. The only clean shirt is the one Katsuki gave him back when his paranoia was at its strongest. The only piece from his native timeline that survived the trip.  Though it’s strange, it’s only fitting that he wears it today. Both times he did his life took a major turn. His dramatic run away to the forest in a way changed everything as much as the Ripple did. Having a piece of Katsuki with him in this world is comforting and it will be so when he says goodbye to the possibility of another.

Breakfast is the perfect moment to ask Grandpa to schedule him an appointment with Yakov for the afternoon. Aside from the knowing smile he has no reaction.

Working on Sara’s memories that day isn't as exhausting as on the previous weeks. There have been some advancements but soon that will be irrelevant to his life. Working under pressure must have affected him, he finally manages to make a breakthrough.

“Guys, I did it, I fixed one.” He calls to the rest to come to see it with him, as instructed. The others drop what they are doing and huddle around him. It plays.

It’s the old memory of Sara and Michele in the protest. The same one they have a version of in Celestino's. The sound is still a bit off, but much better.

_ “Is that Celestino?” Michele squints at the crowd. Through it, he comes, followed by Georgi. _

_ Sara stands and walks towards them. Georgi stops, but Celestino doesn’t, letting them have some privacy among the people. She watches him go and turns back. “Where have you been? We haven't seen you in months. What are you doing with him?” Her tone turns angry. “Have you been working together?” _

_ “He has a good plan, Sara, it could do a lot of good.” _

_ “We can't know that. He could be trying to enrich himself. Do you really think Yakov would send him back with those instructions?” _

_ Georgi turns away but Sara holds his face and forces him to look into her eyes. “Why are you doing this? What did he promise you?” _

_ “Whatever progress Anya’s death caused won't change if we save her. Celestino will make sure of that.” _

_ “How? We can't risk that, Georgi. We don't know how our time looks like right now, he could be lying. Everyone could be okay. This is our best option, please accept it and let it go.” _

_ “Would he really be here if everything was fine? Think about it. Why else would he have Yuuri’s bracelet? Yakov wouldn’t have sent him here if he wasn’t sure he could make a difference. We don’t even know if the other team is still alive, they were supposed to be here months ago. If we go back, they could get to us too, if that timeline still exists. We have a chance to make the world better without sacrificing anyone. Wouldn't you do it for Michele?” _

_ Sara’s gaze shifts to where Michele is, talking to Celestino. They seem to be having a calm discussion. “He wouldn't want me to. And neither would Anya.” _

_ “This isn’t fair. Why does Nikolai get to live and make a change while Anya has to die for it? I won’t stand for this, I want her back.” _

_ “Well, you can’t do it. I already destroyed all the documents, any leads you could have had. Too bad you picked being the group medic over the historian.” _

_ “Liar.” He looks her up and down. “I’m sorry, Sara.” Tears shine in his eyes, he pushes her down and holds on to her leg. Her vision blurs, the world out of focus. They struggle until he pulls off her shoe, takes something from within, and runs with it. _

_ She sits. The world still spins around her. It takes a few seconds for her to reorient herself and find him again, but by that time, he has reached Celestino and they leap right there in the middle of the crowd. They disappear in two balls of lighting. The people scream and run away from them. Sara stumbles towards Michele, unsteady in her feet, as others crash into her. To protect her from the rush of protesters, he hugs her. _

_ “What happened?” _

_ “He stole the USB. You were right, I should have known he wouldn’t believe I destroyed everything.” _

_ “Is it that dangerous?” _

_ “Yes, I had all the info there, where I identified some important points in time. If we get to my backup we might know where it is they are going. I don't know what they’re planning but we have to stop them.” _

_ “How? We can't leap again.” _

_ “If Georgi found a way to work the bracelet, so can we. We already held our travel back once, how hard can it be?” _

The memory stops there. So it really was Georgi who was working with Celestino. Is he the one that messed up the memory? Is he still alive or did he die like Michele? Did they find a way to remove the bracelets before they did?

“Do we know how Anya died?” Victor taps his lower lip with his finger.

“She didn't in our timeline until way later.” Yuri pulls out his phone, they stopped confiscating it after the first week. How did he not run into this during his catch-up readings? “The time natives wouldn't have known that so they didn't fill us in.” He types a search.

JJ leans down to look over his shoulder. “No wonder they didn’t, that’s a horrible way to die.”

“But why is her death relevant?” Kenjirou asks.

When words fail Yuri, Victor takes over the phone to read it himself. His eyes move fast from side to side. “In our timeline, transhumanism was forbidden for a long time. When it was finally allowed, the technology was behind and expensive. Anya’s death seems to have sparked a movement led by her father. We had been trying to get him to help for years but he refused. New laws were passed and it was used to save many lives since then.”

“So, that's what changed?”

JJ shakes his head. “No, something else did too. It must have been a combination of both of them.”

“Who are we housing? Our Georgi or another?” It has to be a new one. Their Georgi would have asked for Yuri’s help straight away, instead of pretending not to be him.

“We're gonna have to find out. Should one of us confront him or we do it as a group?”

“I already did, he had no bracelet. At the time I didn't know it was possible to remove them.” Yuri puts his head on the desk and covers it with his arms. “I don't know what to believe anymore.”

“Let's go then.” JJ pats Yuri on the shoulder. It doesn’t do much to lift his spirits.

They send a text to the rest in the group. Halfway to the Donut, they get a message from Grandpa saying Popovich is with Lilia and Katsudon doing the final physical test in the training grounds. Then one from Sara minutes later saying she is on her way.

The test is already over when they get there, Lilia deep in conversation with Popovich while Katsudon packs his things. The three of them stare wide-eyed when they burst through the door, out of breath and tripping over each other. Kenjirou and Victor had taken off running when they got the message and the rest had had no other choice but to follow.

Victor wastes no time and walks all the way up to Popovich to pull him by the collar. “You’re gonna start talking now and it better be the truth. Are you ours or not?”

“What are you talking about?” He grabs on to Victor’s fist and tries to pull away, his grip is strong.

“We fixed Sara’s memories. We know.”

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I don’t know what you’re going on about, let go of me.” Victor doesn’t budge, staring him down. When no one comes to his help, not even Lilia, Popovich’s shoulders drop, his arms fall to the side in defeat as he completely deflates. “I can't keep this up any longer. I'm tired. I am so tired.”  When he lifts his eyes he appears to have aged years. “It’s me.”

Yuri’s stomach turns. “Why did you pretend otherwise? We could have helped you, all you had to do was ask.”

“Maybe at first I considered asking, but you were all so comfortable here, and you, so obsessed with that boy of yours. I tried to keep you apart but it kept backfiring.” Georgi gives a bitter laugh. “I was all alone in this, just as I've always been.”

“You've always had me.”

“Yuri, we haven't been close in years. You're like my little brother, I love you but this relationship has always been more about you than me.”

“No, we can still do something. There must be a way to save Anya without erasing the effects of her death. Resets happen all the time, why not have it work in our favor for once.” None of the others support this, going by their horrified faces.

“Georgi.” Victor’s fist shakes with contained anger. “Do you have anything to do with the illness?”

What? No, Georgi wouldn’t fall that low, no matter what. He’s been working so hard, giving it his best, that Victor even suggests it is insulting.

“I didn't want it to come this far, it was my last option. If I hadn't, the program would have been canceled for good and the machine would stay broken. People needed an incentive and this was as good as any.”

No, Georgi can't be saying something so horrible. “Do you have a cure?” If this can be undone it might be forgivable. No one would be so stupid as to do something this drastic without a safety measure.

He shakes his head, his eyes watering and voice broken. “I’m sorry, it was experimental. We weren’t sure it would work. There isn't one, you have only one option left.”

“You asshole! Aynur is sick and Guang Hong is dead, along with a bunch of innocent people.” Yuri pushes Victor aside and slams Georgi on the wall. Does he not care about them? The others he gets, to an extent, it’s easier to do if he had no connection at all to them. They were raised to disregard them in their search for a better world, it’s a part of their line of work. But this? Even if Aynur is not the one they lived with for years, or if Guang Hong is not the one they saw from time to time, did he feel nothing when he saw them suffering? Does he even feel any regret?

Georgi takes a deep breath and looks down. When he raises his eyes again, they are cold. “None of them will be dead if you do your job and change the past.”

This piece of shit isn't the person he grew up with. That person was caring, loving, and always looking for ways to help. Yuri punches him, the sickening sound of it fills the room. Hitting his face might hurt his fist but it'll heal his soul. Georgi’s too, as he didn’t attempt to defend himself. He must know what he did was bad and is seeking punishment. Well, he can find it here.

“Yuri, stop,” they yell and in the moment of distraction when he looks at them, Georgi turns the table in a fast move. He holds Yuri’s back to him and points a gun at his head. Has he been carrying that the whole time?

Lilia isn’t in the room anymore and neither is Katsudon, they left at some point after he lost control. If his brains get blown out at least they won’t be here to see it. His breathing is agitated, so is Georgi’s. The desire to punch that traitor to death isn't fading away at all. Victor, JJ, and Kenjirou talk at the same time, running over each other's words and making it impossible to listen to one. They didn’t take any classes to deal with this situation during training. They’re more of the paperwork kind, not action men.

Kenjirou does breathing motions while he tries to be sneaky and type something on his phone. He’s not doing a very good job of it and could be making the risk worse but Georgi hasn’t noticed a thing.

Out of the three, only JJ is calm and relaxed. He takes a step forward and the other two fall silent. “You can't fool me, that's not a real gun. I did research, they destroyed those in civilian zones decades ago,” he says, confident as ever. “And if it was, you could never shoot one of us, we’re your family.”

Georgi shoots Victor in the leg and then points the gun back at Yuri’s head. JJ opens his big, stupid mouth to talk again.

This dumbass is going to get him killed. “Just shut the fuck up, JJ. Don't say anything.”

“I've made some friends here.” The fact that his arm is shaky doesn't bring a lot of confidence in the outcome of this. “I didn't want it to come to this but you’ve forced my hand. This is what we’re going to do. The three of you are going to stay here and call Yakov. Yuri and I will be in the machine room, getting ready for his Travel.”

“What makes you think I'd help you?” Yuri chokes out.

“Y-You don't have another choice. If you don't, the people remain sick and dead. Not only will Aynur die, but Otabek will too. No one here wants that.”

Well, he’s got a point there. There has to be another way out. Georgi’s condition isn’t much better than his own and they’re about equal in skill but doing something physical is too risky. “You can't send me alone. It’s too dangerous.” It isn't a rule that can't be broken, but it’s worth a shot.

The silence as Georgi considers his words is tense. The only sounds come from Victor bleeding out on the floor and Kenjirou losing his shit and trying to help him. JJ has listened for once and kept his mouth shut.

“You’re right. Can't risk you dying on arrival and ending it there. JJ.” He points the gun at him. “You’ll go with him. The rest of you, stay here.”

The back walk into the machine room is slow as fuck, it gives him time to take it all in. If Victor doesn’t get help soon, he could bleed out. There is a lot of blood on the floor. If Georgi hit something important he might not make it. That the one that shot him in the first place is their only doctor doesn't bode well for him.

If they keep their cool and wait for Yakov, they'll find a way to get out of it without any major casualties.

Georgi locks himself with the two of them, letting Yuri go free once inside. With a deep breath, he joins back with JJ and they move away. They keep to different sides of the room. The two of them sit on a corner watch him pace, he holds the gun tightly in one hand and runs his free hand through his hair over and over.

Telling him it’s never too late to do the right thing could work, but with so much rage still accumulating, that wouldn't be very credible.

Now that things are a bit calmer and no one has a gun to his head, it's clear the right path of action was to not alter the mass murderer. Jumping on someone who has shown to be capable of it without a second thought is plain stupid. It’s not the first time his temper gets him in trouble, but this scale of things is a first. The fate of the world is at risk because of him.

“I have a plan,” JJ whispers not low enough.

Georgi turns and points the gun at them again, his eyes wide open and hand trembling. If JJ doesn’t shut up, Yuri will take the gun and shoot him himself.

The door slides open and Yakov walks in with slow, careful steps. When Georgi turns around to explain what he wants, Yakov looks their way and gives a tiny nod. He must have a plan.

The machine turns on for the first time since they arrived in this timeline. This room is one of the only places that had no changes. Had it always been so noisy? The buzz coming from it is deafening and drowns out any other sound. He can’t even hear himself think.

Lightning shoots around the room, not close enough to them to be any real danger but it sends shivers down his spine. It covers half the room in light, blinding them to it. Yuri covers his eyes the best he can without closing them. It could be dangerous to do it when he can’t hear a thing.

JJ moves his mouth, as always, but this time no one can hear what he says over all the noise in the room. A small blessing. JJ stands and walks towards Georgi, who continues to point the gun at Yakov. Eventually, the buzzing gets softer and his words make it through.

“You don't have to do this. There is still time.”

Georgi responds with something about Anya, it's hard to tell since his voice isn’t as loud. The lighting still shoots over the room, occasionally making it pass the safety line. That isn’t supposed to happen. It’s malfunctioning, they need to get out.

“I know how you feel, I lost Isabella too.” JJ is only a few steps away now. Georgi points the gun at his face, his hand still unsteady. With a hand on his, JJ starts to pull it down. “You have to accept it and move on. We will be here for you, always.”

Georgi looks at Yuri as he stands and gives a few steps forward. He still wants to bash his head but it's nothing they can't work through if he stops trying to kill people. They’re a family, they’ll be okay. They’ll find a way to make it better. Maybe a better planned mini mission in a few years.

Yuri nods. “Everything will be okay,” he says as loud as he can. “Once you give JJ the gun, we can talk about our options and come up with a solution.” It's what they always do. If they put their heads together and all the effort, they’re sure to come up with something good. They’re all that's left from their time, they can still fix this.

Mila forces the door open and barges in, Georgi tries to get his weapon back up. JJ struggles with him to hold it down, and they stumble all the way past the safety line. As lightning strikes the two of them, the gun goes off, and they disappear. Yuri falls back with horrible pain in his chest.

Mila runs to his side and lifts his upper body to rest on her legs. She brushes his hair back from his sweaty face with shaky hands.

The clunky noises from the machine become louder and the light brighter. She covers Yuri’s face from it with her body. When the noise and light fade away and they open their eyes, it’s broken again.

JJ and Georgi are gone. They won't be able to come back until the machine gets fixed, if ever. The pain in his chest isn't going away and it threatens to drag him under. Breathing is hard.

Mila still holds on to him, babbling. She stops and looks up when the lights flicker, then they go out. When they come back on, the lights have rearranged. Non-solid figures appear and disappear. The ground shakes.

No. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it all makes sense. Just one chapter left <3


	19. It's Possible

Stupid Katsuki, months and timelines away he still mocks him. So he was right, the specially commissioned shirt did save his life in the end. What good is it if the Ripple is here, taking everything worth living for away.

Barely holding on, he pulls at his bracelet. His fingers won't even scratch the metal, much less rip it apart. “Mila,” he pants. “Mila you have to get this off me, Mila.” Yuri’s fingernails leave long, red lines in her arm. She still frets over his chest uselessly, her teardrops falling on him. “I’m fine. You have to take this off me. Cut my hand off or whatever but take it off.”

She shakes her head. The ground jerks, her hold on him gets tighter. She brings him to her chest as if she can protect him with that. The bracelet won't come off. This is all his stupid fucking fault for being such a coward. He should have asked Otabek when he had the chance. Shouldn't have jumped on Georgi, should have reacted better. None of it had to be like this. They could have had it all, fixed everything.

Had he acted like a functional adult and done his fucking laundry on time, he could be dead right now along with Otabek, Grandpa, Lilia, and Mom. Mila and JJ get together to ruin his life, who would have thought.

The earth tremors stop, the building doesn't fall down this time. People appear for a few seconds and vanish. Mila’s bionic arm hurts his arm, but not enough to mention it, she needs this right now.

Yakov wraps his arms around both of them. He better be good to stand up on his own because he won’t be able to and Mila is in too much shock to help his old ass up.

Her tears mix with his, he brushes them off. “What’s happening?” She asks.

“It’s the Ripple. When it's over the world will be a different place.” Hopefully a better one, if that can really exist without his family. Yuri bites his lip and struggles to sit. He picks her pendant. “You’re safe, don't worry about it.”

Mila helps him and Yakov up, then with his arm over her shoulder, she half carries Yuri outside where the colors and lights still swirl around. The world still isn’t done rebuilding itself. It’s nauseating. Like last time, a ringing in his head drowns out everything else as it tries to split his head open.

He falls to the grass, so do Mila and Yakov. They cover their ears but that won’t work, the source isn’t external. It’s easier to let it be, Yuri drops on his back, facing the stars in the sky as they come in and out of focus. Those don't change, they remain constant. With closed eyes, he lets go.

  
  


This time, he doesn’t wake handcuffed in an underground room but in a comfortable bed in a large bedroom with wide windows. The red curtains move softly. No one is with him, he is all alone. His chest is still in pain but it’s nothing unbearable. Nothing is broken.

He can barely move, but he survived Mila, he can survive the shot. It’s a bruise at most. Walking takes more effort than usual and he has to hold himself up with the wall and the furniture on his way to the door.

As soon as he opens it, a group of people rushes to him. Most stop just in time to avoid running over him but one doesn’t. Mila jumps into his arms, knocking the breath out of him. Her face is so pitiful he doesn’t have the heart to yell at her. Even though her eyes red and puffy, her smile shines brightly. In the hall, a mixture of known and unknown people can’t take their eyes off them. It doesn’t take a genius to notice the resemblance. So this is Nikolai’s family. Yuri’s new family.

He can't do this. Not right now. Not Again. Not when Grandpa’s smile is still fresh in his mind. So he locks himself in the room again without a word. He’ll be ready soon, but not yet.

  
  


It takes one whole day for them to call him into a large room, a long table with way too many seats at its center. If they aren’t better informed than the last time he played catch-up with the timelines he’s walking out. He is done with this Time Travel shit. It has brought nothing but suffering into his life and it wasn’t even for something useful. Once again he did nothing to change time. He is completely useless, the only thing he does is lose people. They and their stupid time machine can all rot.

As the room fills, familiar faces show up. Time natives like Lilia, Nikolai, and Otabek with Potya, sit at the table alongside the Travelers. Some of their families make it in too, a few fit at the table but most stand around the walls, not taking their eyes off them.

Victor has his leg in a cast but smiles like there is no tomorrow. At his side, sit Katsudon and Kenjirou, the latter runs to hug him as soon as he sees him. Katsudon only waves from his place by Victor. Michele sits by Sara, holding her hand while Mila rests her head on her shoulder. They look so at peace, so disgustingly sweet. Sure, they lost a lot but still have each other, because she wasn’t a coward.

He only has himself to blame. No one forced him to form attachments. It was stupid, and he still did it so now he must pay.

The holographic face of an old man appears mid-table. There's something familiar about him. Something in his eyes and the smug smile that just asks to be thrown a shoe at. It isn’t until he speaks that it becomes clear.

Well, no need to worry now. At least that asshole made it out okay.

“Hello, my dear Travelers. I know, I know. I am incredibly handsome in my old age.” That smirk and shit personality of his remained the same. “The world must have started changing around the time I left. Hopefully, Yuri and Victor survived the shots. I will have medical teams ready.

“It was I, Jean Jacques Leroy, that saved the world, JJ Style!” The sudden shout causes him to cough. “Georgi didn't make it, his bracelet was too damaged from the changes he did to it. Don't try to come for me. When I couldn't return, I decided to stay and help the world be better, mostly by building on what Celestino did. We did it, so don't destroy our hard work.

“Don't worry, I’m not my own grandfather.” He laughs at his own bad joke. JJ had decades to prepare this speech and didn’t even bother to make it good. “I record this as an old man with a made, happy life. Be sure to read my autobiography, I left you all signed copies. By the time you are born, I will be dead already and that is okay.

“My people will be there to explain everything. The world is not as you knew it, but I made sure you would be safe. I arranged for all of you to live comfortably. The house you’re in belongs to you if you want it, if not, talk to my people about your options. We did everything we could, life has never been better and it's time to enjoy it. Should you have kids, you have to name at least one of them after me. It’s the new law of the world.” He winks.

“Remember to live your life JJ style!”

Ugh, why? Yuri smiles. Can they fix the time machine so he can go kick his ass?

Lilia takes over then, her crash course on the new timeline is kind of boring. At first, she focuses on the large scale like the world being Habitable and not only a few zones, nothing he can’t find out by himself later, then moves on to the more personal updates, which are a bit more interesting. Georgi is a successful athlete, and the new JJ enjoys life with his family(that includes a  wife and a six-year-old daughter), unaware of anything at all. The rest is not really worth remembering, he can discover life here as he experiences it.

When the informative part of the meeting ends, the socializing starts. No one approaches him, their voices are nothing more than white noise in the background. He keeps his eyes on his hands at the table.

“Yuri,” someone calls but not to him. A young man not far from where he sits turns at the name. He was part of the group that visited him. The older of the siblings. A small plus to all this, no one had to die for him this time. He didn't rip away a beloved family member from anyone. They can start with no hard feelings in their way.

New Yuri talks a lot to New Otabek, they are in very good terms and he can’t keep his hands from that cat. What is it with the Otabeks and the Yuris? Are they involved in all the timelines that they exist in? Whatever, not his problem anymore.

When his eyes meet New Otabek’s, his heart almost stops. It’s a punch in the gut how much their eyes are alike. Not physically, that much was expected. That, he was prepared for. He should have given him that ring. Even if that meant killing this version that doesn’t deserve it. Even if that meant bringing suffering to everyone else. At least they would have been together.

Anything to not have to do this again.

The nervous but intense stare is there, like when they first met. Some things must remain the same in every line, this is one of them. When he approaches and tries to talk is enough though, Yuri gets out of his seat and leaves.

  
  


What he is doing is wrong. The hiding has to stop. He already did it once before, he can do it again. He can move on, interact with people, be a part of the world. But he can’t do it. The pang in his chest every time Nikolai and his family show up is too strong to control.

They must think he is still angry about what Nikolai said all those years ago. That he won’t want to talk to them. That he’ll waste his time again, holding petty grudges and refusing to make up. No one can wait forever. He was lucky last time, because Grandpa had no one else. If he doesn’t get over his issues soon they’ll grow tired and leave. Then he’ll have lost his chance at a family once again. Only there is no Otabek around for him anymore, he’ll be alone for real. He has to hurry on the healing process.

Yuri takes a deep breath and crosses his arms. They don’t stop shaking but they’re a bit less noticeable. He opens the door and everything stops. There they are again, crowding in the hall. It’s such a relief he can’t even be angry at their creepiness and insistence.

He waves. This must have been the sign they were waiting for as they get in his face instantly.

The most excited to see him are the young boy and girl around ten years old that introduce themselves as Boris and Selena. They put their little hands all over his face, hair, and arms. It isn’t until one touches his chest that he gasps that their mom puts a stop to it. They have her eyes.

Her smile is as loving as he remembers. She opens her arms in a silent question and he sinks into them. A man, one Yuri never met, holds on to the two of them.

Leaning on the wall in front of him is New Yuri. The resemblance is striking, except for a few differences in eye color, face shape, and height, they look the same. Beside him, New Otabek holds on to his cat. Of course, why wouldn’t he be here too? He’ll have to get used to seeing him around if he wants any relationship with his family. They must be something like brothers-in-law by now.

Will the sight of him ever stop making his stomach churn? Living here will be impossible. Having to see their faces and remember all that he lost will be the worst kind of torture. How did the others manage it? His heart withers and dies.

No, life will not defeat him. He did this before, he’ll do it again. If he starts with a weak mind, he will crumble in no time.

Next on the hug line is Nikolai. While this isn’t the same Nikolai he repaired and built a relationship with, he has no time for pettiness. The world could change any second. His time with Grandpa could have extended greatly if he had gotten over his shit faster. If these past few days have taught him anything is that there is no room for indecisiveness in his life.

It’s the same loving hug as always, if a bit surprised, and that's what matters.

Otabek gives a few steps forward, serious as always. The strength leaves Yuri’s legs. This isn’t the moment for their talk. He gets back into his room and closes the door on his face then crumbles to the floor.

  
  


His room is the only safe place in this house. Every time he puts a foot outside the door, eventually, he finds him. There is no escape. At least this time he gets to have his own room to mope in peace. It can't be that hard to understand that he has people to mourn. It only makes him appreciate more how patient Otabek was with him back when he was forcing their friendship.

It’s nothing at all like getting used to Katsudon, Popovich, and Yakov the first time. Or even Grandpa, Mom, and Lilia. He can’t fit into this family if he is there too. If New Yuri and Otabek are together, he can’t be around them. He can’t be happy while they are.

But then, if he doesn’t fit into the family, what is his place in the world? He had already given it up. Why won’t the stupid bracelet ever let him choose? Let him disappear, join the stars.

If there was something left of Otabek, a proof that he was here, he could take that and try to move on. But there is nothing of his. It was all taken by this new version of him. Not a single thing remains. He can’t keep on being this pathetic. There’s a world out there and everyone home would want him to go explore it. These stupid feelings are in his way.

If he hadn’t been such a coward and given him that ring… the ring. It’s still here. It shifted with the world. He might have never given it to him but it’s still his. It was made for him and now it’s Yuri’s last chance for a normal life. To move on someday. To know this wasn’t all some fever dream, that he didn’t skip from his own time to this one, that he once loved and was loved.

If he gets his hands on that ring, it will be fine. Everything will be fine.

  
  


The layout is different than the other two places it has been. Not the small, run down place they used to live in, or the large, lively community. For once, the sight of a better world isn't appealing.

Where the three council homes once were, is a large garden. Since it's dark, he can't appreciate the variety of colors of the different flowers in full.

In the middle of the garden lies a large statue of people standing in a circle. A figure in the center, three more holding hands around it, and eight more doing the same. In the shadows, it’s impossible to see any more detail, the starlight is not enough.

The wind blows and Yuri shivers, hugging himself. He won’t find anything like this.

  
  


Over the next few days, the statue, though out in the open, proves the perfect hiding spot as he tries to find his old room. Every day, he scans the ground for the place his bed used to be. The ring has to be there somewhere. No one passes by. There are only birds, insects, flowers, and an ugly statue, which is far better than the portraits of different moments in JJ’s life around the house.

Yuri sits at the edge of the garden near the daffodils, this is it. This is the spot. And it’s nowhere to be found. Where is it? Why didn't it make it?

How is he supposed to move on? Why does he keep losing everything? Isn’t he allowed to have a ring? Is it even worth it to try again? Or will this repeat and repeat? Maybe he should just end it. No one would care. The others are happy, they don't need his mopey ass around.

But he needs to move on. Find a way to get out of this hole. There has to be a way. Go back and change everything to keep—

And then do exactly what Georgi did. Kill people and destroy lives to bring back lost loved ones. Now he can't judge, hate or blame him. Unless this new world is complete shit, then it would be alright. It’ll be fine if he goes back to fix it then, get him back. But he needs proof first. There must be something bad he can work in his favor. Something shitty they’ve done he can use.

No, Yuri grabs at his hair. He can’t slip. It isn’t right. Otabek wouldn't want that, neither would his family, they were good people. The temptation will always be too great if he stays. He needs to talk with Grandpa tomorrow morning. He’ll live on his own while he gets over it. Away from people and his memories. He can’t risk getting attached anymore. Not so soon. Maybe in a few years when he is in a better place. But as long as New Otabek is around, he can never forget, he can’t ever be happy.

Something bumps into his chest. He groans as Potya meows at him and rubs her little face in his shirt. “I guess you’re fine. Not like you comprehend what happened.” He scratches her head.

“Please don't run away.”

Yuri’s heart skips a beat, he lowers his guard a second and the person he least wants to see sneaks up on him. Otabek sits beside him on the fresh grass and takes Potya into his arms. This version of him has a serious over attachment to that cat. Every time he tried to talk to Yuri over the past few days, she was always there. Who can blame her? If he was back home, he'd be doing the same. “What do you want?”

“You need a friend, so here I am.” He shrugs.

“Thanks, but I don't need you as a friend. I don't want you as one. So get lost.” Burying his feelings doesn’t work as well when in close proximity. His eyes and throat burn.

“Tell me what happened, please. It could help.” He rests a hand to Yuri’s shoulder. “You’ve been carrying it with you and it hasn't done you any good.”

It's so warm, almost like being back home with his Otabek. But he's not, and this person is not the one he fell for. It's so nice to pretend, even if for just a few seconds that those eyes truly are the same.

“I hate you,” Yuri says, seething. He pushes him away, Otabek’s eyes widen. “You aren't him. Don't come near me. I don't want you here. I'm not interested. You make me sick. If you want to help, then leave, you’re only making it worse. Let me deal with my loss, how am I supposed to get over it when you keep showing up everywhere?” He grabs him by the shirt and hits him weakly, the tears streaming down. “I wanted to disappear with him, but because I was a coward he is dead and I am not. I should have given him that ring. I should have controlled my temper. I should… I should…”  his hands lose all strength and he leans his head on Otabek's shoulder. Potya meows.

It’s so exhausting. Life is too much effort.

“Oh. So that’s the problem.” His hand moves to his pocket and rummages around a bit. “You can do it right this time then.” From his fingers hang a little chain and the ring he got made with Michele’s bracelet.

“How?”

“Potya was playing around with it.”

Oh, so the cat found it. That isn’t his, he should get his dirty fingers off it. Otabek is quick to take it out of reach before Yuri can snatch it.

“I was with Mom and Mila, she explained what it was. I was going to return it so I put it in my pocket. When the Ripple started—” he clears his throat. “Mom was fine with it, so I took Potya and waited.”

So that means…

This fucking asshole, Yuri pushes him with all his strength. When his back hits the ground he straddles him. His fists clench his shirt. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Oh, no, all those embarrassing things he just said. His points a shaky finger at him and screams. “You let me think you were dead for days.” Why did he let him keep the pathetic act up for so long?

“Whose fault is that? I’ve been trying to talk to you from the start.”

“Try harder next time!”

“Whatever. Are you going to give me the ring or not?”

His throat clasps shut, and he picks on that lose threat on his shirt. “ I-I... If you wanted to—I could—” Fuck that, he's not gonna say it again. He takes the ring a bit more violently than necessary and puts it on his finger. “There. You better know what you’re getting into because it's official now.”

Otabek smiles and it blinds him. Deep breaths, control yourself Plisetsky.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought it wasn't fair to ask you to pick me over literally the entire world, and that you would hate me after.” Otabek sweeps back his hair, then holds to both his cheeks and pulls him down into a sweet kiss.

“I was so jealous when I saw Mila’s pendant.” He laughs. Oh shit, it seems obvious now she would show it to him. “I thought you would never do something like that. Later, it was okay because you wanted to stay, but it would have been great to be asked.”

“Stop. I get it, I’ll ask again. Some other time. In private.”

He laughs again. “It’s fine, we have all the time now, but we do have to get better at talking to each other.”

“I know.” Yuri averts his eyes. “So, what do you know about your body in this timeline?”

“They told me right away that they didn’t know me. At first, they weren't sure if I didn’t exist or if I did somewhere else and now had a very confused and worried family. JJ didn’t know about the ring so they weren't prepared for me. Your family has been very kind and helped me look for mine.” Yuri climbs off and lays next to him on the cool grass. Otabek is quick to rest his head on his chest. “I was never born. My parents never met. My dad is here on Earth but my mom is in one of the Moon Colonies.”

“What?” Those exist now? He should have paid more attention during that meeting.

“I know. She would have loved to know that.”

“You might never see her again. I'm sorry.” He gets an extended family and Otabek gets nothing. Not very fair.

“It’s okay. We talked about it. She wanted this for me and so did I.”

The moon and stars are bright above them. Somewhere out there, is Aynur. Yuri lifts his hands as if to touch the sky. Otabek threads his fingers through his.

“Can’t believe that dumbass saved the world.” And that they'll never see him again. He’ll have to admit he did a good job. No today though.

Yuri and the Travelers choose to leave the house. The southern waters call, to an artificial island JJ left for them. Their families visit often. Otabek seems more okay with not seeing his parents on some days than others. He insists he made his choice, one that his mom encouraged, and will make the best of it. The offer to find them is still there, should he ever want to take it.

The world JJ left them is still a bit of a mess, but everything is better. Their work in time is done. All it needs is constant care to maintain it and make sure the future is a better place for those to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They might not look it, but endings are hard.This is the first time I finish writing something, so I’m very happy. Now that I’ve scratched the time travel itch, I am never touching it again xD or at least not any time soon. I don’t know how I managed to get away with most of my sanity intact. Do not recommend for first fics.  
>   
> Thank you everyone that made it to the end with me <3 To the people that left kudos, and especially to the ones that commented <3 You guys made it more fun to post.  
>   
> My original plan was to finish my other fics and start posting right away but I see now that was a pipe dream. Still, if I ever finish anything else, [ here is my page where you can find my other fics.](https://april-storm-af.tumblr.com/Fanfic)  
>   
> If anyone’s still here, I have a question. I almost dropped this several times because I couldn’t decide how to end it. At first I thought of doing this chap from the point of view of the new versions living their lives knowing they are going to fade away. But then it made me sad, so I thought I’d just kill the versions we’ve been reading about. But that was sad too so I was going to leave it open ended. And in the end I went for this. I wanted to ask, just out of curiosity, if any of you want to answer, if you would have preferred any of those?  
>   
> This was a great experience, than you all :D


End file.
